Why is this ok?
sk1nnyf0rm3
Posts: 110 Member
I'm 5'4 and just over 100 lbs. I know that's light for my height (people say I look like I'm 80-90 lbs though because a lot of my weight comes from muscle with horseback riding and I wear baggy clothes). But here's the issue:
People always are commenting on my weight, my size, what I eat, etc. Yes, I eat like crap often (cookies, brownies, carbs in general etc.) around people. And, yea, it seems like I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. But they don't see how active I am. Also, people always are saying things like 'you could gain a few lbs'/'you should gain muscle'/'you're so skinny'/'you shouldn't have a problem with fitting through x, your so thin'/'if there was an accident she'd fly through the windshield, she's like 90 lbs'/'you're so thin and all you eat is junk food.' just to name a few.
It really bothers me that society has decided that these comments are ok because I'm not overweight. If someone ever said 'you're so fat'/'you should increase muscle'/'you could lose a few lbs'/'oh you probably can't fit there, you're so big'/'all you eat is junk, no wonder you're so fat.' people would be severely offended and shocked that someone would say that. But it's somehow ok because I'm thin instead of overweight.
Can anyone give me any light into this? With certain people (they're overweight themselves) I feel like I should just start being like 'oh, yea, I'm sure I could fit through x since I'm so small, too bad you can't because you're so fat' just to try them to understand that it's not ok...
People always are commenting on my weight, my size, what I eat, etc. Yes, I eat like crap often (cookies, brownies, carbs in general etc.) around people. And, yea, it seems like I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight. But they don't see how active I am. Also, people always are saying things like 'you could gain a few lbs'/'you should gain muscle'/'you're so skinny'/'you shouldn't have a problem with fitting through x, your so thin'/'if there was an accident she'd fly through the windshield, she's like 90 lbs'/'you're so thin and all you eat is junk food.' just to name a few.
It really bothers me that society has decided that these comments are ok because I'm not overweight. If someone ever said 'you're so fat'/'you should increase muscle'/'you could lose a few lbs'/'oh you probably can't fit there, you're so big'/'all you eat is junk, no wonder you're so fat.' people would be severely offended and shocked that someone would say that. But it's somehow ok because I'm thin instead of overweight.
Can anyone give me any light into this? With certain people (they're overweight themselves) I feel like I should just start being like 'oh, yea, I'm sure I could fit through x since I'm so small, too bad you can't because you're so fat' just to try them to understand that it's not ok...
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It's not okay. But you are also at a low weight for your height and it seems like there are some issues you might have to deal with. But you're right, I don't really think it's okay for anyone to say things like that to someone about their size/weight.0
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Your username and profile pic are worrisome. Weight shaming on either end is not ok.0
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It is not ok, it two wrongs don't make a right. Tell them to stop commenting on your body since it is none of their business.
maybe those overweight people comment on your body because other people are always commenting on theirs. It doesn't make it ok, but you should know that people make rude comments to fat people all the time, and many people think that is perfectly ok to be rude like that.0 -
How old are you?0
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Ar 100lbs you are still underweight based on your BMI. Is it ok, not really, depends who it is. I can understand friends and family commenting becayse they are showing concern. Strangers? Depends you are naive to think they wont because thats just people. If it makes you feel better then go and insult a few people, although I think your logic is supsect.0
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Actually, people are more than happy to criticize overweight people. Society is very critical of the overweight (and not afraid to voice that criticism) but you may not be as aware of it because it doesn't fit your situation.sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »It really bothers me that society has decided that these comments are ok because I'm not overweight. If someone ever said 'you're so fat'/'you should increase muscle'/'you could lose a few lbs'/'oh you probably can't fit there, you're so big'/'all you eat is junk, no wonder you're so fat.' people would be severely offended and shocked that someone would say that. But it's somehow ok because I'm thin instead of overweight.
Everyone wants to voice their opinion even when it's none of their business.0 -
Body shaming is never okay. It happens both ways.0
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »How old are you?
I'm an adult0 -
With 69% of Americans overweight (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm), we tend to be defensive about our appearance. Guess they figure the best defense is an aggressive offense (famous football saying). If you're healthy and aren't harboring an eating disorder, just ignore it.0
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My mom constantly tells me I'm getting bony. But, I know that I'm eating nearly 2,000 calories everyday, and working out to tone up. So I just ignore the comments because I'm being healthy for only me.0
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Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.0
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ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF0 -
sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
whoa0 -
Calling bluff on being an adultsk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
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I used to have a flatmate about your size, she had a thyroid issue and struggled toachieve/maintain a healthy weight. She used to say the same thing.0
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To be that small, you're probably not eating enough. Even though you're eating junk, it's probably not enough to put on weight. My roommate eats snack cakes, ice cream, donuts, cookies, etc throughout the day, but I noticed he doesn't eat enough food. He's very thin too.0
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sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
Quite frankly, I don't care what your question was. I was underweight for a number yrs due to my kidney disease going undiagnosed. If you are an adult you sure don't know how to act like one. I was not being rude at first just stating facts which you obviously didn't like.
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lishie_rebooted wrote: »
Calling bluff on being an adultsk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
I'm actually 19 for your information0 -
To be that small, you're probably not eating enough. Even though you're eating junk, it's probably not enough to put on weight. My roommate eats snack cakes, ice cream, donuts, cookies, etc throughout the day, but I noticed he doesn't eat enough food. He's very thin too.
That's possible with me for sure some days...thanks for pointing it out0 -
ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
Quite frankly, I don't care what your question was. I was underweight for a number yrs due to my kidney disease going undiagnosed. If you are an adult you sure don't know how to act like one. I was not being rude at first just stating facts which you obviously didn't like.
My weight is a very big button and people have always said things, like your first comment, in ways were it's snobby and rude.0 -
Body shaming isn't ok. Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm sorry you're being shamed for being small/thin. If your friends are doing this I would say something to them. Tell them that it makes you uncomftable.0
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Just say, "I understand your concern, but commenting on my weight is inappropriate. I assure you I am a healthy weight for my size and level of activity. Thanks again for caring." Then change the subject.0
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sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
Quite frankly, I don't care what your question was. I was underweight for a number yrs due to my kidney disease going undiagnosed. If you are an adult you sure don't know how to act like one. I was not being rude at first just stating facts which you obviously didn't like.
My weight is a very big button and people have always said things, like your first comment, in ways were it's snobby and rude.
All I said was for 5'4 you are underweight. That my dear is a fact! Not snobby or rude but, FACT!
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My sister is a little shorter and smaller than you. I don't think she is quite 100 pounds. It is very hard for her to gain weight and she is very into fitness. You didn't mention anything about wanting to be smaller. So I don't see any cause for alarm. It might be a little embarrassing, but since it is a normal body function I am going to talk about it anyway. As long as you are having a steady menstruation you have nothing to worry about. If you don't you might lack a healthy amount of body fat and you should see your doctor.
Mental health is just as important physical health, I wish you a bright future.0 -
^The period thing is actually a very good measure of a healthy weight for a smaller woman. Your hormones get confused if you are truly in trouble.0
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Also, to answer your question, it's not okay. It's very rude. I've also gotten comment like this when I was a tad younger (before the curves grew in), and I'd just look them straight in the eye and say, "But I don't want to be bigger.". Not in a rude way, just a statement. I didn't want to be bigger, or smaller. I was happy, and perplexed at why someone thought I should change. That normally ended the conversation.0
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sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »lishie_rebooted wrote: »
Calling bluff on being an adultsk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
I'm actually 19 for your information
The older you get usually the less you care about what other people think.
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Body shaming is never ok.0
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Technically, you told her she's unhealthy:ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »sk1nnyf0rm3 wrote: »ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
That's not even what my question was about. WTF
Quite frankly, I don't care what your question was. I was underweight for a number yrs due to my kidney disease going undiagnosed. If you are an adult you sure don't know how to act like one. I was not being rude at first just stating facts which you obviously didn't like.
My weight is a very big button and people have always said things, like your first comment, in ways were it's snobby and rude.
All I said was for 5'4 you are underweight. That my dear is a fact! Not snobby or rude but, FACT!ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »Well the smallest you should be at 5'4 is 108 to be healthy. So you aren't healthy but, that is no one's problem but, yours.
Yes, she overreacted a bit, but telling her flat-out she's not healthy wasn't called for. I'm assuming you based your statement on BMI tables, yes? They're not absolute, meaning that 108 isn't a hard-and-fast health cutoff point for someone at 5'4" ("at 108 you're healthy and at 107 you're not" is obviously ridiculous). They're meant to gauge populations and aren't necessarily meaningful when applied to individuals.
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