Constantly feel fat and unattractive?
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1saturn
Posts: 95 Member
I am told I look fit and healthy and have an attractive figure. Which is nice, but I always feel a bit fat. As if because I was once overweight I will never really overcome that. I want to be thin. I am bored of being slim/curvy and want to get to a point where I know I am not fat. When I eat a little more than usual I will feel extremely guilty and see it as a big mistake. I don't even find thinness particularly attractive but I think I would feel better about myself if I was skinny. I just feel like once fat always fat. I will always criticize my body and be overly aware of it. I don't have the genes to be tiny anyway... I feel tired of worrying about body image. Anyone feel the same?
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Replies
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I have to agree that I think you may need to get professional help on this if it is a long term feeling. It does take awhile to get used to your thinner self but you should not constantly be feeling fat, unattractive, or guilty for eating anything even if it means you are going over your calories.0
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asflatasapancake wrote: »If that is your picture on your profile, it seems like you might be leaning towards body dysmorphic disorder. You may want to talk to someone about that.
I have considered this at times. But I thought maybe it was a normal feeling.0 -
Is thinner/smaller your actual goal? Or is it simply a part of a look you're going for?0
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I know exactly how you feel, I've always felt like that too! My advice is to try to eat healthier, do yoga or something and don't sweat the little things like eating too much chocolate or whatever
Judging by your profile photo you have a perfectly healthy body and you have nothing to be ashamed of!
Try working on your confidence (fake it til you make it) and you will feel a lot better!0 -
Is thinner/smaller your actual goal? Or is it simply a part of a look you're going for?
I think it might be part of a look I want to have. I am conflicted between wanting to be skinny and finding it undesirable. I wanted to be slimmer originally but now I seem to want to take it the whole way. Being slim doesn't seem to be enough for me anymore. As if I have worked hard but still feel quite big.0 -
I know exactly how you feel, I've always felt like that too! My advice is to try to eat healthier, do yoga or something and don't sweat the little things like eating too much chocolate or whatever
Judging by your profile photo you have a perfectly healthy body and you have nothing to be ashamed of!
Try working on your confidence (fake it til you make it) and you will feel a lot better!
Thanks! It probably is a confidence issue. Unfortunately I can be negative about myself and cause myself a lot of problems.
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I have to agree that I think you may need to get professional help on this if it is a long term feeling. It does take awhile to get used to your thinner self but you should not constantly be feeling fat, unattractive, or guilty for eating anything even if it means you are going over your calories.
I think it's long term but it fluctuates. Sometimes I feel okay and other times I get down on myself.
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Is thinner/smaller your actual goal? Or is it simply a part of a look you're going for?
I think it might be part of a look I want to have. I am conflicted between wanting to be skinny and finding it undesirable. I wanted to be slimmer originally but now I seem to want to take it the whole way. Being slim doesn't seem to be enough for me anymore. As if I have worked hard but still feel quite big.
These statements are concerning. The way you are looking at yourself is not healthy. You need to learn to accept and love your body. You really should look into some sort of counseling before these thoughts get out of hand. I see your statements as warning signs of developing anorexia.0 -
I can definitely relate to this! But, you really do look great. Sometimes I will look at "positive/inspiring/uplifting" etc. quotes when I am feeling down or not happy with myself. I think that is the most important. Along with continuing to become healthier. I wish I looked like you!0
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I am told I look fit and healthy and have an attractive figure. Which is nice, but I always feel a bit fat. As if because I was once overweight I will never really overcome that. I want to be thin. I am bored of being slim/curvy and want to get to a point where I know I am not fat. When I eat a little more than usual I will feel extremely guilty and see it as a big mistake. I don't even find thinness particularly attractive but I think I would feel better about myself if I was skinny. I just feel like once fat always fat. I will always criticize my body and be overly aware of it. I don't have the genes to be tiny anyway... I feel tired of worrying about body image. Anyone feel the same?
How long ago was this, when you were overweight? How long did that time period last? How long have you been at your current weight?
Sometimes it takes a while for the brain to catch up to drastic body changes. Sometimes it's all about perception: do you feel different about yourself when you see yourself in pictures than when you look in the mirror? Sorry, lots of questions, but maybe we can offer more help with a bit more detail.0 -
I am told I look fit and healthy and have an attractive figure. Which is nice, but I always feel a bit fat. As if because I was once overweight I will never really overcome that. I want to be thin. I am bored of being slim/curvy and want to get to a point where I know I am not fat. When I eat a little more than usual I will feel extremely guilty and see it as a big mistake. I don't even find thinness particularly attractive but I think I would feel better about myself if I was skinny. I just feel like once fat always fat. I will always criticize my body and be overly aware of it. I don't have the genes to be tiny anyway... I feel tired of worrying about body image. Anyone feel the same?
How long ago was this, when you were overweight? How long did that time period last? How long have you been at your current weight?
Sometimes it takes a while for the brain to catch up to drastic body changes. Sometimes it's all about perception: do you feel different about yourself when you see yourself in pictures than when you look in the mirror? Sorry, lots of questions, but maybe we can offer more help with a bit more detail.
About two years ago I was heavier. Because I am not very tall I looked worse for the extra weight. I was heavier on and off throughout school and then eventually stayed big throughout college. Then lost the weight. I've been at this weight for about 2 years now give or take a few pounds.
Yes. Sometimes I look quite good in photos and I think that's not my reality. Sometimes I look bad in photos and I presume that is the truth.
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I can definitely relate to this! But, you really do look great. Sometimes I will look at "positive/inspiring/uplifting" etc. quotes when I am feeling down or not happy with myself. I think that is the most important. Along with continuing to become healthier. I wish I looked like you!
Thank you. Positivity is the key, you're right. I guess we should all be more grateful for our bodies. It is hard sometimes.
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Is thinner/smaller your actual goal? Or is it simply a part of a look you're going for?
I think it might be part of a look I want to have. I am conflicted between wanting to be skinny and finding it undesirable. I wanted to be slimmer originally but now I seem to want to take it the whole way. Being slim doesn't seem to be enough for me anymore. As if I have worked hard but still feel quite big.
These statements are concerning. The way you are looking at yourself is not healthy. You need to learn to accept and love your body. You really should look into some sort of counseling before these thoughts get out of hand. I see your statements as warning signs of developing anorexia.
I understand that what I say might seem unhealthy but I think my upbringing altered my perception of self-esteem and body image. Siblings constantly dieting and losing weight probably created a lot of my problems with confidence.0 -
Is thinner/smaller your actual goal? Or is it simply a part of a look you're going for?
I think it might be part of a look I want to have. I am conflicted between wanting to be skinny and finding it undesirable. I wanted to be slimmer originally but now I seem to want to take it the whole way. Being slim doesn't seem to be enough for me anymore. As if I have worked hard but still feel quite big.
These statements are concerning. The way you are looking at yourself is not healthy. You need to learn to accept and love your body. You really should look into some sort of counseling before these thoughts get out of hand. I see your statements as warning signs of developing anorexia.
I understand that what I say might seem unhealthy but I think my upbringing altered my perception of self-esteem and body image. Siblings constantly dieting and losing weight probably created a lot of my problems with confidence.
Those are contributing factors to body dysmorphia.
It is a bigger deal than one would think. It can erode relationships with others too.
The peace of being and feeling good enough is worth the effort
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I am told I look fit and healthy and have an attractive figure. Which is nice, but I always feel a bit fat. As if because I was once overweight I will never really overcome that. I want to be thin. I am bored of being slim/curvy and want to get to a point where I know I am not fat. When I eat a little more than usual I will feel extremely guilty and see it as a big mistake. I don't even find thinness particularly attractive but I think I would feel better about myself if I was skinny. I just feel like once fat always fat. I will always criticize my body and be overly aware of it. I don't have the genes to be tiny anyway... I feel tired of worrying about body image. Anyone feel the same?
How long ago was this, when you were overweight? How long did that time period last? How long have you been at your current weight?
Sometimes it takes a while for the brain to catch up to drastic body changes. Sometimes it's all about perception: do you feel different about yourself when you see yourself in pictures than when you look in the mirror? Sorry, lots of questions, but maybe we can offer more help with a bit more detail.
About two years ago I was heavier. Because I am not very tall I looked worse for the extra weight. I was heavier on and off throughout school and then eventually stayed big throughout college. Then lost the weight. I've been at this weight for about 2 years now give or take a few pounds.
Yes. Sometimes I look quite good in photos and I think that's not my reality. Sometimes I look bad in photos and I presume that is the truth.
Thank you for responding. I can relate because I'm only 5'1". Always was normal size. No food issues. Then my Freshman and Sophomore year I just became less active, ate more, didn't notice at all that I gained about 15 lbs. It was a HUGE difference on my frame. I was able to figure it out and lose it over the next year or so, but all that to say that even though that was a VERY short time period in my life, I remember exactly how miserable I was. Shocked I allowed that to happen, realized how hard it is to change bad habits.
I've been at maintenance and happy with myself for a while, but those short years distorted my view of myself as well. So, do a degree, what you are feeling is normal. Give yourself some time to adjust to where you are now; forget that overweight person. You won't become that person again.
And, at the risk of sounding like a broken record: don't give the number on the scale power over you. Lift weights. Start a program. It will reshape your body. Focus on what your body and muscles can DO instead of the weight of your body as a whole.0 -
The way you see yourself usually changes with weightloss, but sometimes it doesnt.
If your having feelings that are self destructive I think you should see a professional about it.
However, theres only so much a shrink can do too. I personally just live with it and focus on the now.0 -
I am told I look fit and healthy and have an attractive figure. Which is nice, but I always feel a bit fat. As if because I was once overweight I will never really overcome that. I want to be thin. I am bored of being slim/curvy and want to get to a point where I know I am not fat. When I eat a little more than usual I will feel extremely guilty and see it as a big mistake. I don't even find thinness particularly attractive but I think I would feel better about myself if I was skinny. I just feel like once fat always fat. I will always criticize my body and be overly aware of it. I don't have the genes to be tiny anyway... I feel tired of worrying about body image. Anyone feel the same?
How long ago was this, when you were overweight? How long did that time period last? How long have you been at your current weight?
Sometimes it takes a while for the brain to catch up to drastic body changes. Sometimes it's all about perception: do you feel different about yourself when you see yourself in pictures than when you look in the mirror? Sorry, lots of questions, but maybe we can offer more help with a bit more detail.
About two years ago I was heavier. Because I am not very tall I looked worse for the extra weight. I was heavier on and off throughout school and then eventually stayed big throughout college. Then lost the weight. I've been at this weight for about 2 years now give or take a few pounds.
Yes. Sometimes I look quite good in photos and I think that's not my reality. Sometimes I look bad in photos and I presume that is the truth.
Thank you for responding. I can relate because I'm only 5'1". Always was normal size. No food issues. Then my Freshman and Sophomore year I just became less active, ate more, didn't notice at all that I gained about 15 lbs. It was a HUGE difference on my frame. I was able to figure it out and lose it over the next year or so, but all that to say that even though that was a VERY short time period in my life, I remember exactly how miserable I was. Shocked I allowed that to happen, realized how hard it is to change bad habits.
I've been at maintenance and happy with myself for a while, but those short years distorted my view of myself as well. So, do a degree, what you are feeling is normal. Give yourself some time to adjust to where you are now; forget that overweight person. You won't become that person again.
And, at the risk of sounding like a broken record: don't give the number on the scale power over you. Lift weights. Start a program. It will reshape your body. Focus on what your body and muscles can DO instead of the weight of your body as a whole.
Thanks! Sounds very similar to my situation. Maybe I am just thinking about how bad I felt and that is becoming my reality. As if I'm no longer fat but I still carry the emotional burden of being fat. I envy people who have been able to be a consistent healthy weight throughout their lives.
I think being big has made me paranoid. Which can lead me to under eat at times. Or feel guilty when I have a good appetite and enjoy food.
I agree weight is not important. I seem to weigh more than people expect. I guess I carry weight reasonably well. But this can make me feel worse about it. Thinness shouldn't be my aim, overall fitness and happiness should be. I have got thinner but no happier.
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professionalHobbyist wrote: »Is thinner/smaller your actual goal? Or is it simply a part of a look you're going for?
I think it might be part of a look I want to have. I am conflicted between wanting to be skinny and finding it undesirable. I wanted to be slimmer originally but now I seem to want to take it the whole way. Being slim doesn't seem to be enough for me anymore. As if I have worked hard but still feel quite big.
These statements are concerning. The way you are looking at yourself is not healthy. You need to learn to accept and love your body. You really should look into some sort of counseling before these thoughts get out of hand. I see your statements as warning signs of developing anorexia.
I understand that what I say might seem unhealthy but I think my upbringing altered my perception of self-esteem and body image. Siblings constantly dieting and losing weight probably created a lot of my problems with confidence.
Those are contributing factors to body dysmorphia.
It is a bigger deal than one would think. It can erode relationships with others too.
The peace of being and feeling good enough is worth the effort
Yes, absolutely. If I ever have children I will be very sensitive and aware of self-esteem issues. I don't want them to have problems like I do. I don't want them to be constantly dieting.
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I am told I look fit and healthy and have an attractive figure. Which is nice, but I always feel a bit fat. As if because I was once overweight I will never really overcome that. I want to be thin. I am bored of being slim/curvy and want to get to a point where I know I am not fat. When I eat a little more than usual I will feel extremely guilty and see it as a big mistake. I don't even find thinness particularly attractive but I think I would feel better about myself if I was skinny. I just feel like once fat always fat. I will always criticize my body and be overly aware of it. I don't have the genes to be tiny anyway... I feel tired of worrying about body image. Anyone feel the same?
How long ago was this, when you were overweight? How long did that time period last? How long have you been at your current weight?
Sometimes it takes a while for the brain to catch up to drastic body changes. Sometimes it's all about perception: do you feel different about yourself when you see yourself in pictures than when you look in the mirror? Sorry, lots of questions, but maybe we can offer more help with a bit more detail.
About two years ago I was heavier. Because I am not very tall I looked worse for the extra weight. I was heavier on and off throughout school and then eventually stayed big throughout college. Then lost the weight. I've been at this weight for about 2 years now give or take a few pounds.
Yes. Sometimes I look quite good in photos and I think that's not my reality. Sometimes I look bad in photos and I presume that is the truth.
Thank you for responding. I can relate because I'm only 5'1". Always was normal size. No food issues. Then my Freshman and Sophomore year I just became less active, ate more, didn't notice at all that I gained about 15 lbs. It was a HUGE difference on my frame. I was able to figure it out and lose it over the next year or so, but all that to say that even though that was a VERY short time period in my life, I remember exactly how miserable I was. Shocked I allowed that to happen, realized how hard it is to change bad habits.
I've been at maintenance and happy with myself for a while, but those short years distorted my view of myself as well. So, do a degree, what you are feeling is normal. Give yourself some time to adjust to where you are now; forget that overweight person. You won't become that person again.
And, at the risk of sounding like a broken record: don't give the number on the scale power over you. Lift weights. Start a program. It will reshape your body. Focus on what your body and muscles can DO instead of the weight of your body as a whole.
Thanks! Sounds very similar to my situation. Maybe I am just thinking about how bad I felt and that is becoming my reality. As if I'm no longer fat but I still carry the emotional burden of being fat. I envy people who have been able to be a consistent healthy weight throughout their lives.
I think being big has made me paranoid. Which can lead me to under eat at times. Or feel guilty when I have a good appetite and enjoy food.
I agree weight is not important. I seem to weigh more than people expect. I guess I carry weight reasonably well. But this can make me feel worse about it. Thinness shouldn't be my aim, overall fitness and happiness should be. I have got thinner but no happier.
Yep, I understand that thinking. Just stick with it and be consistent. Inner, mental health is the key. Work on that and your outside will follow. Don't expect perfection. You will have good days and bad. You may put on some weight and then lose it again.
I see what you mean about the bold, above. But, that doesn't mean that they are happy or that their lives are perfect. A consistent body size does NOT equal a consistently happy mental state. Personally, as much as those 2 short years DID affect me negatively, it also helped shape me and make me who I am. That's a part of MY life just like your overweight period is a part of YOUR story. One of my favorite, daily mottos: Learn from it and let it go.0
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