Weightlifting and confidence...
devilwhiterose
Posts: 1,157 Member
I used to lift 10+ years ago. I haven't been back to the big boy section of the gym in years. Heck, I don't even know what's back there anymore and I don't have a set routine. The sucky part of my gym is that there aren't many (or any) women that go back by the weights. This usually wouldn't bother me but for some reason, I feel like I'm going to be judged and watched. I want to hit the squat rack but can't remember how much I can even squat anyway...and form...who knows how low I can go anymore after 3 kids and being so out of shape.
I don't know how to get over being a little pansy and just going and lifting.
I don't know how to get over being a little pansy and just going and lifting.
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Just go and do it. If you walk in there acting like you belong there, nobody will question you. They might watch you. Ignore it. Once they realize you know what you're doing, you'll be boring and they won't watch you anymore.
Could you hire a trainer for a session or two to refresh your memory on form?
I wouldn't assume that you can still squat the amount that you did 10+ years ago. Start with just the bar, get the form down, and increase from there - maybe start with a program like SL5x5, Starting Strength, or NROLFW.
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One big advantage of lifting today versus 10 years ago: There are TONS of "proper form" videos on YouTube. Why not have a gander at a bunch of them to refresh your memory, then practice with a broomstick and a mirror in your house? I like @PeachyPlum's suggestions of asking a trainer for help. If you have the guts, you could even ask a friendly-seeming gym patron.
I also second the idea of following a starter program like Stronglifts 5x5 or Starting Strength. That will help shape your workouts and give you 'purpose'. Sometimes it's psychologically easier to go in with A Set Plan instead of just "I think I'll look at the squat rack today..." You can find the basics for both of these online. SS is also a book.
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I am the only female I have ever seen in the free-weight section of the gym (besides my sister, who is a body builder). See if a trainer can show you proper form, and then find a program you like (I am partial to StrongLifts 5x5)0
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I wouldn't be able to get started with a trainer due to my work/home schedule. I don't get to the gym until around 9pm. I'll look into the 5x5 and Starting Strength program! And I like the idea of a set plan. I usually DO wander the gym and go "Hmmm...let's do this today."
...If I can memorize the plan, I won't look like so much of a dunce when I walk back there. 0 -
I've just recently started with weights too. One thing I love about Stronglifts 5X5 is that there is an app for it. I just open the app know what I am doing that day. It helps avoiding the gym wander. ;-)0
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Yep. Just pick a starting program and go with it. Apps or spreadsheets are helpful. Most people will barely notice you. Just do your own thing.0
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devilwhiterose wrote: »I wouldn't be able to get started with a trainer due to my work/home schedule. I don't get to the gym until around 9pm. I'll look into the 5x5 and Starting Strength program! And I like the idea of a set plan. I usually DO wander the gym and go "Hmmm...let's do this today." ...If I can memorize the plan, I won't look like so much of a dunce when I walk back there.
5 x 5 is awesome for that. You're either doing Squats, Overhead Press, Deadlift or you're doing Squats, Bench Press, Barbell rows. Three lifts a day, that's it.
I just noticed we're practically neighbors. Not sure where you go to the gym, but if they have a per-visit rate for visitors, I'd be happy to come lift with you a couple of times until you feel comfortable!0 -
Honestly - just get in there and do it. It feels a lot scarier than the reality.
At my gym there are a few other women that venture over into the area - all but me (that I've come across so far) walk in a pick up the lightest dumbbells - or sit themselves in the leg press machine (technically it's not in the weights area - it's next to it - but it's as close as most of the women get).
I mostly get left alone in there (which is how I like it). Sometimes someone will ask me how many set I have left / if I'm done with whatever weight it is they want; one the other day came over to help me load up the bar (I was tempted to say no thanks - I don't need it, but he was young and just trying to be helpful).
I do get looked at in there - but I don't think it's because I'm a woman. I look around at the men in there when I'm resting between sets because I find it interesting to see what they are doing. I just assume that they are doing the same thing.
TL:DR There is nothing scary in the weights section - just get in there!0 -
I was the only woman in the weight room the other day when I was squatting my heavy set. I was only screaming a little. I was hoping no one could hear me over their music, but I could hear myself over my music...oh well. The other day one of the regulars (a man) told my husband that I am a "total beast." Which I have been told is a compliment. Moral to the story...go ahead and go to the weight room.0
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go in with a written plan and do it. most of the boys in the "big boy" section of the gym don't have a clue what they are doing anyways. Even the boys that appear to know what they are doing make my eyes water, i have to look away.0
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I'm going to advise starting with a trainer, too. Make sure you know their certification before starting. MOST decent trainers work hours that work for YOU, so don't go blind into lifting if it's been a long time. Form is so important, sometimes a coach can make all the difference.0
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A relatively small percentage of the guys in the weight room actually train legs (at least, that's my experience in my gym), and an even smaller percentage actually train legs correctly. If the guys notice you (and they probably won't pay attention), they're less likely to be thinking "there's a girl in the squat rack" and more likely to be thinking "what's she doing with the rack we use to hold the bar in between shrugs and curls?"
In all seriousness, just do it! Go in with a plan, and start off squatting just the bar (if that's way too easy, you can always call it your warm-up).0 -
I highly encourage you to do it. I was intimidated by the lifting room at my gym as well, but it got a LOT better as I got confident in my lifts. I have a little notebook where I write everything down, so you don’t have to memorize anything: it’s useful to keep track of your reps/weights, and ensure you’re doing what you need to be doing before you fall into a routine.
Serious lifters don’t really look at what other people are doing. If they’re there to gawk, don’t mind them - not worth it. It also helped me, at first, to have my headphones in, because it helped me get in my space and ignore everyone else. Nowadays (about 4 months in) I don’t need them anymore. It gets a lot easier once you find your stride, and lifting is always worth the effort!
I can now grunt with the best of them and don’t even care
Edited to add: I actually prefer working out around guys. They mind their own business. Whenever girls come into the lifting area they start chattering, loudly.
I like the quiet and nothing but the sound of iron on iron. 0 -
Edited to add: I actually prefer working out around guys. They mind their own business. Whenever girls come into the lifting area they start chattering, loudly. I like the quiet and nothing but the sound of iron on iron.
So much this! For the most part, the guys don't even notice my existence. Occasionally, a guy I haven't seen before will watch me, but once he realizes I know what I'm doing, he gets bored.
It's actually the handful of other women who stare at me, but I'm the only girl I see doing barbell work, so maybe that's why.0 -
PeachyPlum wrote: »
Edited to add: I actually prefer working out around guys. They mind their own business. Whenever girls come into the lifting area they start chattering, loudly. I like the quiet and nothing but the sound of iron on iron.
So much this! For the most part, the guys don't even notice my existence. Occasionally, a guy I haven't seen before will watch me, but once he realizes I know what I'm doing, he gets bored.
It's actually the handful of other women who stare at me, but I'm the only girl I see doing barbell work, so maybe that's why.
So true! There are a couple of other women in the squat rack at my gym, but it’s mostly dudes. I’m a-ok with that.0 -
You've already gotten a lot of great advice, so I'll just say that I was sort of in the same boat as you - not really sure what to do with the weights. I borrowed NROLFW from my library and just keep renewing it (I'm going to buy it one of these days, I swear!) StrongLifts 5x5 looks great, too.0
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If I ever need direction on how to perfect form or just general knowledge; I seem to be able to find it on bodybuilding.com or youtube. I wouldn't let other people bother you tho! Just put in your headphones and go to work!!! You'll remember a lot of your old tricks...as you get started.0
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Just act like you belong there, and after a couple of workouts you will feel more confident about being there. I have to say I love the way you mentioned the weight lifting area ("the big boy section of the gym") Haha....LOL.0
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I would recommend StrongLifts 5x5 - they have videos to show the form, a phone app to help track your workouts, and online help is available. The other evening I was using a squat rack in my gym and the 2 racks next to me were both women lifting. I've had other gym members stop and talk to me 2 times in the past to offer help on my form and 1 guy even watched me lift for a while and told me what he saw. You may be surprised who will be back there lifting. Today, there was a senior citizen lifting while I was there.0
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devilwhiterose wrote: »I wouldn't be able to get started with a trainer due to my work/home schedule. I don't get to the gym until around 9pm. I'll look into the 5x5 and Starting Strength program! And I like the idea of a set plan. I usually DO wander the gym and go "Hmmm...let's do this today." ...If I can memorize the plan, I won't look like so much of a dunce when I walk back there.
One of the gyms I go to is open 24 hrs., 7 days a week and the personal trainer that works there will gladly work with clients at 4:00 AM or 5:00 AM or 10:00 PM or 11:00 PM, etc. It's their job. They will accommodate you if you contact them and set a schedule.0 -
devilwhiterose wrote: »I'll look into the 5x5 and Starting Strength program! And I like the idea of a set plan. I usually DO wander the gym and go "Hmmm...let's do this today." ...If I can memorize the plan, I won't look like so much of a dunce when I walk back there.
Feel free to carry a notebook. It's part of the culture, and there's no shame in logging and following a program. Plus you can better remember what weight you last reached and it also helps you follow your progress.I actually prefer working out around guys. They mind their own business. Whenever girls come into the lifting area they start chattering, loudly. I like the quiet and nothing but the sound of iron on iron.
I know it sounds horrible but I've agreed with this lots of times. I wish more women would come into the weight room, but sometimes imo some come in maybe on whim just to try it or sadly for attention. Ruins it as they try to over assert themselves and end up slowing the movement of everything. The girls that come in humble and ready to give it their all...<3. More of those please!0 -
Op. Stop being a pansy! Put your big girl knickers on and get in there!! I would spend some time watching YouTube videos. As well as learning form it's motivating to see other people doing what you want to do. Edited because I just spent 10 minutes typing all about stronglifts! I think you get the idea that a lot of people love it!
Dont worry about being the only girl in the free weight section. I can't imagine what problem there could be. If they're looking at you it's either because they are interested in what you're doing or they think you rock! I find everyone either very friendly or they keep to themselves.0 -
10inprogress wrote: »devilwhiterose wrote: »I'll look into the 5x5 and Starting Strength program! And I like the idea of a set plan. I usually DO wander the gym and go "Hmmm...let's do this today." ...If I can memorize the plan, I won't look like so much of a dunce when I walk back there.
Feel free to carry a notebook. It's part of the culture, and there's no shame in logging and following a program. Plus you can better remember what weight you last reached and it also helps you follow your progress.I actually prefer working out around guys. They mind their own business. Whenever girls come into the lifting area they start chattering, loudly. I like the quiet and nothing but the sound of iron on iron.
I know it sounds horrible but I've agreed with this lots of times. I wish more women would come into the weight room, but sometimes imo some come in maybe on whim just to try it or sadly for attention. Ruins it as they try to over assert themselves and end up slowing the movement of everything. The girls that come in humble and ready to give it their all...<3. More of those please!
Mhm, I felt kinda bad saying it, but I figured I’ll be honest. I like to think that everyone finds their way eventually, though. I’m feeling optimistic this morning lol 0 -
Thanks ladies (and guys)! I'm going to download the 5x5 app and give that a shot. I know once I give it a couple go-arounds, I'll be all good. Just gotta get the courage to get my pansy *** in there!0
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I used to be so nervous everytime i walked into the weights section, but now there are way more girls which is so great to see and i have got to no alot of the guys who are so sweet and excited to have girls around (i was supprised by this). Maybe another girl in the gym is thinking the same thing and by seeing you train it will give her the confindence good luck, be brave
Meg0 -
Mhm, I felt kinda bad saying it, but I figured I’ll be honest. I like to think that everyone finds their way eventually, though. I’m feeling optimistic this morning lol
I get it...and that's why I added on. I think guys act this way as well but I think because there are soooooo few females in the room there's an automatic implication that we're competition and that's not the case. In time they DO come around or find out it's not their cup of tea and the matter is resolved. Being honest in cases when it's true is nothing to be apologetic about. 0 -
Yes, you will be judged and judged by guys like me as awesome and badass no matter how much weight you are presently doing.devilwhiterose wrote: »I feel like I'm going to be judged and watched.
Happy lifting!0 -
I finally went last night and had a blast! I liked the 5x5 to give me something to start from as far as routine but I'm not a fan that you can't adjust the weight without buying the program.
I may just browse the web for a routine or steal my husband's! 0 -
You can adjust the weight by tapping it. SL5x5 automatically increases your weight every session--it rapidly progresses so it may be wise to start low and focus on form for when the big lifts hit.0
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devilwhiterose wrote: »I used to lift 10+ years ago. I haven't been back to the big boy section of the gym in years. Heck, I don't even know what's back there anymore and I don't have a set routine. The sucky part of my gym is that there aren't many (or any) women that go back by the weights. This usually wouldn't bother me but for some reason, I feel like I'm going to be judged and watched. I want to hit the squat rack but can't remember how much I can even squat anyway...and form...who knows how low I can go anymore after 3 kids and being so out of shape.
I don't know how to get over being a little pansy and just going and lifting.
you should do an actual program. even if you could remember how much you could squat...you wouldn't be able to squat that now....hell, I had to take a month off from squats due to an injury and I can't squat what I was squatting a month ago.devilwhiterose wrote: »I finally went last night and had a blast! I liked the 5x5 to give me something to start from as far as routine but I'm not a fan that you can't adjust the weight without buying the program.
I may just browse the web for a routine or steal my husband's!
not sure what you mean there.0
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