I can't do it :(

charlenelynch

Hi Monna,

I do believe your success towards progress will start by talking to your family and letting them know how their comments are making you feel deep down inside. It's important to improve on your overall health and outer body image but it's even more important to clean up your mind and all those negative thoughts.

Even if you do speak up and you don't get the response you're looking for; bulk up mentally. Be strong in your thoughts and remember that we live this life just once - you can do anything and be anything just as long as you put your heart and mind into it. Hold on to something beautiful and positive in your life and drop the negative weight that's weighing you down.

So work on your speach (that's the hard part) and then work on enjoying movement. Find an activity that you love doing. Let me know what it is ok?

punkrockgoth

I definitely feel you so hard. I've logged in and logged my food for 138 days now and all I have to show for it is 6 lbs. I go to the gym twice daily (sometimes 3x) and I see more gains than losses. Most days I don't know why I bother because chocolate is delicious and I feel like I am starving on MFP's recommended amount.

I keep on going telling myself that slow is better than not at all, hoping that I will get better at this, and keep on doing all the research I can, arming myself with knowledge and creating more realistic goals.

My first goal was to stop myself from gaining. Mission accomplished.
Now trying to get my weight under 250 lbs. I've been working at this since January and it's been fewer than 10 lbs. hopefully soon? 2 lbs to go!

Concurrent goal: stop sabotaging my own progress.

Redmonkeydf

"Be magnificent. Life's short. Get out there. You can do it. Everyone can do it. Everyone."
--Andy Serkis

kalbo798

punkrockgoth wrote: »

I definitely feel you so hard. I've logged in and logged my food for 138 days now and all I have to show for it is 6 lbs. I go to the gym twice daily (sometimes 3x) and I see more gains than losses. Most days I don't know why I bother because chocolate is delicious and I feel like I am starving on MFP's recommended amount.

I keep on going telling myself that slow is better than not at all, hoping that I will get better at this, and keep on doing all the research I can, arming myself with knowledge and creating more realistic goals.

My first goal was to stop myself from gaining. Mission accomplished.
Now trying to get my weight under 250 lbs. I've been working at this since January and it's been fewer than 10 lbs. hopefully soon? 2 lbs to go!

Concurrent goal: stop sabotaging my own progress.

The time will pass whether you try or not. Might as well try.

JenSD6

Start small with things you feel you can control. Make manageable goals that you absolutely can achieve with a little dedication and celebrate those successes. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed with too much at once. This is a long-term project of self improvement inside and out, not a sprint to a finish line. You will have good days where the pounds seem to melt right off, and you will have bad days where you eat way over your calories, but it will slowly all come together as long as you are determined to see it through.

And always remember that you are worth it!

40andFindingFitness

Try to find an exercise that you like. I tried several and I found a few that I like and I know I will do them. I don't run. I know many people do it and they love it but if my fitness goals had to include running I'd be gaining right now because I wouldn't do it. Also, don't look at the entire 130lbs you need to lose, just take it 10 or 20 lbs at a time. I guarantee time is going to pass no matter what so you may as well make good use of it. Good luck!

YolliB2014

I know you can do this!!! I too have felt the exact same way you are feeling now, I've had many false starts here and finally made myself stick to it.... I also got rid of every silly notion I had about food because that was making food very complicated to me and food really isn't complicated, so I read everything I could read, especially on here and I realize that losing weight, though it is difficult at times, it is not as much effort and stress as we seem to think it will be.

I've been active here now for 39 days and have lost 9 lbs as of today. I didn't do it by cutting out any single thing that I enjoy but by limiting it. I eat carbs too and would never be able to stick to anything that eliminated carbs or anything for that matter. I just had a cinnamon bun the other day and I still lost 1.8 lbs on my last weigh in. It's the first time in my life that I have lost this much weight Without feeling deprived or hungry.

Do what you know you can do right now with a small goal to add on as you go.

I am by no means a pro at this, I'm learning as I go and soaking up all the information I get from here and it is helping. If you'd like to add me as a friend, I would gladly accept.

itsthehumidity

Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right.

MR_STRATTON

I'm 68 years old and topped out at 380 pounds. I lost over 200 pounds 4 years ago but have allowed a little over 100 to creep back on. I know it's possible, although very hard. This program is easy compared to the one I followed before. I know that people will advise you to "take one day at a time" but that didn't work for me. I had to start by taking each 5 minutes at a time. Now, this sounds a little ridiculous, but I spent hours searching Google for "positive attitude quotes" and then each day, I would apply one to my day. And, I wrote a blog which allowed me to share my feelings with others who could empathize with me.

Family members, although well meaning, can be very hurtful. You know when you are eating something that is not on your plan. It doesn't help to be scolded for it. Very lovingly tell them when they are being overly forceful. Tell them that you are working on changing your habits, but that it won't happen overnight. You will appreciate their help and support, but cannot deal with criticism or suggestions.

You can do it. But you have to want to do it. I had gone through a state of depression - which is very real, and equally misunderstood. I felt like a total failure - and the more I felt like a failure, the more I ate. I believe now that I was trying to become what I felt that I was - a failure. As I began losing weight, my attitude changed. My attitude about myself, my family, my friends - about life in general.

I felt myself slip back into that cavity as I was gaining back the weight that I had worked so hard to lose. I have to work very hard on keeping a positive attitude - about food, about family, friends - but most of all about myself. I can do this again. I did it once so I know it can be done. And, you can do it too.

Keep your chin up and tackle the next 5 minutes with enthusiasm and resolve.

dubird

You'll only not succeed at this if you convince yourself you can't. I agree with talking to the doctor and getting baseline starts so you have a starting point. Then, start small. For me, I spent a couple weeks just logging, not trying to cut anything. That let me see where I was coming from and what exactly I was eating. Then I started with swapping soda for unsweet tea with Equal. Once I got used to that, I changed something else. It took a few months before I really started to see a difference, but by then I had started getting used to eating differently. Don't look at this like a diet. You're retraining your body how to eat. It's slow, but by doing it this way, I've gotten used to eating what is an actual serving instead of two or three at meals, cutting back on munchie-snacking, and eating better. I still don't have the best diet; I still eat plenty of carbs and sugar and processed foods and all. I'm just better at judging how much of it to eat and how to work that in with healthier options.

This is something you can do. You'll screw up from time to time, everyone does. If you do, log it and start fresh the next day. Ignore the comments from your family. I know how hard that is, but this is YOUR life, not theirs. If you're actually trying to better yourself and they can't see that, just smile and nod and go about your business. If they do care about you, they'll eventually notice the positive changes and comment on that instead.

egrif1

Monna2 -- You can do this!! Listen to everyone on this feed. You have tons of experienced weight losers giving you advice.

Incorporate some type of physical activity into your day. If you are self-conscious about exercising at a gym, Leslie Sansone has walking dvds that you can purchase (or you can go to youtube and try out some of the work outs before purchasing) and walk in the comfort of your home. YOU have to find ways to get in the physical activity. You just have to keep at it every day gradually increasing your mobility and stamina.

You have to make the sacrifice for YOU and YOUR health and body, not your family. Losing weight requires you to be selfish, because while your family talks about you eating too many carbs, they may be ordering pizza, etc., with little thought to how this affects you. Like YolliB said, I haven't cut out any of the foods I like either. I log them in MFP food log and I eat them in moderation. I will walk an additional ten minutes or I'll go into my backyard and run in place for ten minutes to balance it out. Do one mile in your neighborhood walking around the block as many times as necessary before dinner or after dinner or both. GET A PEDOMETER! It will help you see how active you really are. I started off after getting out of the hospital, walking five minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. I kept this up and eventually I was up to walking 3 miles a day.

Like everyone else, I'm not a pro. These are the things that have worked for me and I have lost 32 lbs.

You can add me as a friend, too.

Harleygirl2014

I feel like that at times too, but I keep telling myself that I can do it and I started walking everyday so I am feeling like I am doing something positive whether the scales say so or not. Add me as a friend if you wish. The one thing we all need for success is support, so I will help if I can. Take care!

EmmaFitzwilliam

Knowledge is power. I wish I had known 10 years ago some of what I know now. Find out what does work for you. I struggled for 35 years before I found what worked.

Monna2

I really appreciate all your motivating rePlies.

opalsqueak007

Come on Monna! You only have one life, and you can do it.

Educate yourself about nutrition and exercise. Get some really inspirational people onside. Cut out the dead wood in your life, and ignore the negative people. Do something positive towards your goal every single day. Read the stories here. I was an obese wreck a year ago. Now I'm not. I did it and so can you. Justmake the decision to do it, and do not give up!

Missyonethirtyfive

You can do it. But do it for you. Go on facebook & join some of the low carb groups. They will help support you, cheer you on, congratulate you for small achievements. And they have awesome recipes & ideas to keep you going, and keep your food interesting.

ccourcha

YOU CAN DO IT. Like someone already said, it starts with wanting it and educating yourself about the goods and not so goods of the food choices you make.

When I started this journey, all I did the first couple weeks was log what I was consuming. No change in choices.

When I started to see patterns and what was causing me the most calories that I was taking in. The light went off. I knew what to do. Let me tell you, 1200 calories from beer a day is not easy to just walk away from.

I am on a 1500 calorie per day plan. 1200 calories of beer does not fit. Its gone, period. If I didn't want to make this change, I would not have. I want it. I think you want it too. You can do this!!

tomatoey

People have different kinds of issues with weight loss, and I think there are different ways of dealing with it, depending on what they are. What are your issues? Some examples:

- emotional eating
- being convenience-minded, and having a hard time planning in advance (this was my thing - I'd not think about food until I was hungry, and would then just go for whatever was around right then, and usually by that time, I wanted lots of high-cal things)
- lack of knowledge about nutrition and/or cooking
- undiagnosed medical issues; medication

I think people will be able to help a bit better if you can give us some more details. (I can't speak to emotional eating, but I'm sure there are many here who could.)

woznube7

@monna2:

I definitely can relate to what you are feeling. I have also been struggling with this for 15+ years and it feels like I am not going anywhere. 8 years ago, I lost about 50lbs and felt so good.. but still did not feel good enough. Then I gained it all back, plus some. So starting over again, is so discouraging. BUT, i'm still here. Just like you!

Carbs are my best friend. And emotional eating. It is completely normal. Go for a walk every day, walk up and down the stairs 20 times, watch a exercise video on youtube (go slow). See if there is a pool you can swim at? DRINK WATER! Walk in place while you watch a show on TV. All of the little things add up.

I get it. I really do. And being on here, is so helpful. Everyone is so supportive and gets where you are coming from.

YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!!!