I can't do it :(

Monna2

I have been trying for over 15 years, and I just can't do it.
It only gets worse and worse. My body doesn't let go of the fat. I can't deal with the cravings of the monthly time. I am 130 pounds overweight and my family are driving me towards depression because of their comments about me eating too many carbs.
There's no magic I know.
But I have so much frustration inside me.

agreenid

You CAN do it.

It's hard. It's work. It's a pain in the freaking butt until you get into a rhythm.

Cravings will happen. You'll have bad days. But you can absolutely do this.

Start small. Log all your food, even if it goes over your limit. Start walking a little more each day if you can. Make mini goals (5lbs...10lbs...15) instead of thinking of the 130 as a whole lot to go at once.

MikeLeTwigg

You can do it! I've been over weight and climbing for 20 years. Set your self small achievable goals and have fun with all the great folk on MFP who have always got your back

theserpentsmiles

Step 1 is truly wanting it.

Step 2 is educating yourself.

Add me as a friend and I will be glad to give you some wonderful tips.
I've been a fat guy since I was about 20, and at 31 I am now down 50+ Lbs in 6 Months.

Fitness and emotional health go hand in hand.

kalbo798

14 months ago I was 180 lbs overweight. Today I'm 78 lbs overweight. It's possible, difficult, but possible.

kbolton322

You can do this!! I eat carbs every day just bout all day and I'm losing weight.I run 4 days a week. My family and friends all give me crap. I ate a bag of chips yesterday and a coworker asked if it was on my "diet" my answer was sure is.. I eat pretty good but I was something bad sometimes. You have to do this for you and nobody else. Don't let them get into your head.

kraft_kris

I know how you are feeling. There are days I feel like that too! Like the previous posters have said - Just take it one thing at a time, one day at a time!

tulips_and_tea

Monna2 wrote: »

I have been trying for over 15 years, and I just can't do it. Yes you can! Be your own coach. If someone said these exact things to you, what would YOU tell them?
It only gets worse and worse. My body doesn't let go of the fat. It absolutely can. It wants to. Just start eating less of what you are eating now. No strict or specific diet needed.
I can't deal with the cravings of the monthly time. Cravings will pass. Just because you feel like eating something does not mean you need to. YOU have power over those fleeting wants.
I am 130 pounds overweight and my family are driving me towards depression because of their comments about me eating too many carbs.Some people do better eating fewer carbs, some don't. Do your own research and make your own decisions. It is a lot of trial and error at first.
There's no magic I know.
But I have so much frustration inside me.

Don't over think it! All you need to do right now is eat less of what you are currently eating, log it here, and learn from your logs. Utilize the note section as well. Keep track of your moods, why you ate, what you were feeling, etc.

TriciaCh

You CAN do it... a doctor told me to set goals that were 10% of my body weight... my first goal was 23 lbs... you could also do it by what you want to lose... I had a total of 115 lbs.. so that would be 11 1/2 lbs. I started out by just walking my 15 minute breaks at work. At first I was very slow but as I got used to it I got faster. Then I stated walking around my small town on the weekends. The biggest hurdle was deciding I COULD do it.. and that I WOULD do it. I started by just making small changes in the size of my portions... instead of 2 of something I'd do 1 1/2... gradually getting my portion sizes (for the most part, but not always) where they should be. Then I started making better choices of what to eat... more veggies... etc. I'm at 33 lbs down now... and I've stalled a bit... BUT, I am not gaining! For me that is a major victory. I'm even going to a gym now... nothing I thought I would EVER do. Take baby steps .. don't expect giant steps all at once. See your doctor to make sure that there aren't any health issues involved.

DoreenaV1975

Although I had less to lose I started to feel that way as I got closer to my 40s, I thought I could not lose weight any longer because I wasn't young anymore!
But MFP turned that around.

I agree w/ starting small.
My first goal weight was only 6lbs loss.
When I reached that I set another goal weight: 5lbs loss and I am currently 1/2 a pound away from that.
Once I reach it I will set my final goal weight which is to lose another 5lbs.
In the end I will have lost 16lbs but if I had told myself I had to lose 16lbs at the beginning I would have felt like it was undoable. 6-5lbs at a time is an easier goal and in the end it all adds up!
So start w/ a small goal, even if it's not necessarily losing pounds, and once you reach that goal, set another and another, and another!
Baby steps!
And there is nothing wrong w/ carbs! I have lost 10.5lbs since the end of April and most of my calories everyday come from carbs! I just make sure I stay w/in my calorie goals for the day!

sk1nnyf0rm3

I, like you, have an addiction to carbs. I'm lucky in the fact of I'm young, and still have a metabolism that can keep up with living mainly on carbs. I'm trying to be healthier and part of this is cutting down on carbs...VERY DIFFICULT. I can relate 100% to that. My family makes comments too about my carb intake, especially since my mom is diabetic. Feel free to add me and we can try to support each other if you'd like

Edit: I forgot to add that you can do it. There's a reason you posted this. You might not be able to do it by yourself, but you posted this because you want it somewhere inside and you just need help to achieve it.

999tigger

You can do it if you want to do it badly enough. it wont take 15 years, it just requires you to adopt a pattern of behaviour so you can lose steadily over about 2 years.

Take a breath and relax, you are making it into such an impossible target that you are talking yourself into not being able, when ofc you like everyone else is capable of losing weight. the only reason you arent losing is because you are still eating more than or what your body needs on a daily basis, instead of less.

These forums are full of people who have learned how to lose weight and done it their way. As said above start off with understanding why you wnat to lose weight, then break it down into small steps that you cna take and put in a plan, so you know you are doing the right things, then when ready follow the plan and focus just on each day.

999tigger

Duplicated post

missomgitsica

The more you convince yourself you can't, the truer it becomes.

theredhead77

You CAN do it. Your family sounds like a bunch of jerks.

First thing first though - see a doctor, get a baseline of blood work, eliminate/treat/learn to manage any underlying issues you may have. Seek out a doctor to help with your depression. There is no shame in getting help to get healthy.

Start small - instead of a soda drink flavored carbonated water. Or flavored water. I love Hint water. It's not cheap though so it's a treat. It's super easy to infuse water without buying a fancy infuser pitcher. Take some fruit and put it in a pitcher of water. Put pitcher in fridge, let chill for a few hours and enjoy. When I cut out diet soda and only diet soda I lost 10lbs real quick. YMWV but it's a very small change.

You CAN do this but you need to take care of the whole you.

TavistockToad

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.

summergrl2487

Monna - I feel you! Sometimes it just seems too hard. I'm stuck in a rut but am working on getting back on the bandwagon.

One thing that I find can help is to celebrate small successes. I have positive sayings posted all over my house - on the fridge, in the pantry, etc. These remind me why I am doing what I am doing. Sometimes I'll go to grab a snack and see my affirmation and it helps me admit that I'm just giving in to a craving and don't actually need that snack. Maybe this might help?! Just a thought from someone who is also trying and sometimes falling short!

Ninkyou

You CAN do it.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
^Good place to start.

Don't listen to what others have to say about your diet, because guess what, everyone has an opinion. You do you, let them do them.

SkinnyGirlCarrie

Yes you can!

I second everyone on here and say start small. Add little things, like walking 30 min 3x a week, etc.

Log everything - even if you go over, give yourself credit for logging everything and keep on going. Let go of the feeling bad about yourself for overeating one day. You are human and can't be perfect everyday. What's most important is getting in the habit of logging and slowly making better food choices. One day it will all come together and be easier.

Don't listen to the carb thing, experiment with eating different ways and things until you find what works for you. You know you best.

Do it for yourself - make the time for yourself, you are worth it!

kscarf1

You can do it! I have been trying to lose weight and keep it off since I was in elementary school. (I'm 43 now.) This time I've set 100 pounds as my initial goal, and I'm already down 17 pounds after just over a month using MFP. I was a carb fanatic and now I eat low carb (although not super-low-carb, that's not sustainable, at least for me). I just wish I would have done this years ago. I was always making excuses and saying I'd start a diet tomorrow. Well, it's not just a diet, it's a lifestyle change, and you have to commit yourself to it. I know it's hard--god, do I know it's hard--but if you are ready and willing to change, you can do it. Best of luck to you!

amy_j28

Monna2 wrote: »

I have been trying for over 15 years, and I just can't do it.
It only gets worse and worse. My body doesn't let go of the fat. I can't deal with the cravings of the monthly time. I am 130 pounds overweight and my family are driving me towards depression because of their comments about me eating too many carbs.
There's no magic I know.
But I have so much frustration inside me.

You can! Pretty much like everyone else said- start small. When I joined MFP, my first and only goal was to track EVERY morsel or beverage that went into my mouth. I've been working on this since January, and to be honest, I still go over my daily, or heck, even weekly allowances quite often. BUT- learning to track and watching the trends in my eating has helped me learn a lot. I've lost 25 lbs since January.

I think the biggest impact for me was finding fellow MFP'ers that were motivating and keep things fun so that I do come back to the site. I also made a friend in one of my zumba classes, so now we kind of have a buddy system to keep each other accountable. It's hard to go at it alone, but it can be done too!

The mental battle is probably the biggest hurdle. When people ask if I'm on a diet, I say heck no! I'm participating in a lifestyle change and having fun while doing it! Feel free to friend me if you need some motivation

charlenelynch

Hi Monna,

I do believe your success towards progress will start by talking to your family and letting them know how their comments are making you feel deep down inside. It's important to improve on your overall health and outer body image but it's even more important to clean up your mind and all those negative thoughts.

Even if you do speak up and you don't get the response you're looking for; bulk up mentally. Be strong in your thoughts and remember that we live this life just once - you can do anything and be anything just as long as you put your heart and mind into it. Hold on to something beautiful and positive in your life and drop the negative weight that's weighing you down.

So work on your speach (that's the hard part) and then work on enjoying movement. Find an activity that you love doing. Let me know what it is ok?

punkrockgoth

I definitely feel you so hard. I've logged in and logged my food for 138 days now and all I have to show for it is 6 lbs. I go to the gym twice daily (sometimes 3x) and I see more gains than losses. Most days I don't know why I bother because chocolate is delicious and I feel like I am starving on MFP's recommended amount.

I keep on going telling myself that slow is better than not at all, hoping that I will get better at this, and keep on doing all the research I can, arming myself with knowledge and creating more realistic goals.

My first goal was to stop myself from gaining. Mission accomplished.
Now trying to get my weight under 250 lbs. I've been working at this since January and it's been fewer than 10 lbs. hopefully soon? 2 lbs to go!

Concurrent goal: stop sabotaging my own progress.

Redmonkeydf

"Be magnificent. Life's short. Get out there. You can do it. Everyone can do it. Everyone."
--Andy Serkis

kalbo798

punkrockgoth wrote: »

I definitely feel you so hard. I've logged in and logged my food for 138 days now and all I have to show for it is 6 lbs. I go to the gym twice daily (sometimes 3x) and I see more gains than losses. Most days I don't know why I bother because chocolate is delicious and I feel like I am starving on MFP's recommended amount.

I keep on going telling myself that slow is better than not at all, hoping that I will get better at this, and keep on doing all the research I can, arming myself with knowledge and creating more realistic goals.

My first goal was to stop myself from gaining. Mission accomplished.
Now trying to get my weight under 250 lbs. I've been working at this since January and it's been fewer than 10 lbs. hopefully soon? 2 lbs to go!

Concurrent goal: stop sabotaging my own progress.

The time will pass whether you try or not. Might as well try.

JenSD6

Start small with things you feel you can control. Make manageable goals that you absolutely can achieve with a little dedication and celebrate those successes. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed with too much at once. This is a long-term project of self improvement inside and out, not a sprint to a finish line. You will have good days where the pounds seem to melt right off, and you will have bad days where you eat way over your calories, but it will slowly all come together as long as you are determined to see it through.

And always remember that you are worth it!

40andFindingFitness

Try to find an exercise that you like. I tried several and I found a few that I like and I know I will do them. I don't run. I know many people do it and they love it but if my fitness goals had to include running I'd be gaining right now because I wouldn't do it. Also, don't look at the entire 130lbs you need to lose, just take it 10 or 20 lbs at a time. I guarantee time is going to pass no matter what so you may as well make good use of it. Good luck!

YolliB2014

I know you can do this!!! I too have felt the exact same way you are feeling now, I've had many false starts here and finally made myself stick to it.... I also got rid of every silly notion I had about food because that was making food very complicated to me and food really isn't complicated, so I read everything I could read, especially on here and I realize that losing weight, though it is difficult at times, it is not as much effort and stress as we seem to think it will be.

I've been active here now for 39 days and have lost 9 lbs as of today. I didn't do it by cutting out any single thing that I enjoy but by limiting it. I eat carbs too and would never be able to stick to anything that eliminated carbs or anything for that matter. I just had a cinnamon bun the other day and I still lost 1.8 lbs on my last weigh in. It's the first time in my life that I have lost this much weight Without feeling deprived or hungry.

Do what you know you can do right now with a small goal to add on as you go.

I am by no means a pro at this, I'm learning as I go and soaking up all the information I get from here and it is helping. If you'd like to add me as a friend, I would gladly accept.

itsthehumidity

Whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right.

MR_STRATTON

I'm 68 years old and topped out at 380 pounds. I lost over 200 pounds 4 years ago but have allowed a little over 100 to creep back on. I know it's possible, although very hard. This program is easy compared to the one I followed before. I know that people will advise you to "take one day at a time" but that didn't work for me. I had to start by taking each 5 minutes at a time. Now, this sounds a little ridiculous, but I spent hours searching Google for "positive attitude quotes" and then each day, I would apply one to my day. And, I wrote a blog which allowed me to share my feelings with others who could empathize with me.

Family members, although well meaning, can be very hurtful. You know when you are eating something that is not on your plan. It doesn't help to be scolded for it. Very lovingly tell them when they are being overly forceful. Tell them that you are working on changing your habits, but that it won't happen overnight. You will appreciate their help and support, but cannot deal with criticism or suggestions.

You can do it. But you have to want to do it. I had gone through a state of depression - which is very real, and equally misunderstood. I felt like a total failure - and the more I felt like a failure, the more I ate. I believe now that I was trying to become what I felt that I was - a failure. As I began losing weight, my attitude changed. My attitude about myself, my family, my friends - about life in general.

I felt myself slip back into that cavity as I was gaining back the weight that I had worked so hard to lose. I have to work very hard on keeping a positive attitude - about food, about family, friends - but most of all about myself. I can do this again. I did it once so I know it can be done. And, you can do it too.

Keep your chin up and tackle the next 5 minutes with enthusiasm and resolve.

dubird

You'll only not succeed at this if you convince yourself you can't. I agree with talking to the doctor and getting baseline starts so you have a starting point. Then, start small. For me, I spent a couple weeks just logging, not trying to cut anything. That let me see where I was coming from and what exactly I was eating. Then I started with swapping soda for unsweet tea with Equal. Once I got used to that, I changed something else. It took a few months before I really started to see a difference, but by then I had started getting used to eating differently. Don't look at this like a diet. You're retraining your body how to eat. It's slow, but by doing it this way, I've gotten used to eating what is an actual serving instead of two or three at meals, cutting back on munchie-snacking, and eating better. I still don't have the best diet; I still eat plenty of carbs and sugar and processed foods and all. I'm just better at judging how much of it to eat and how to work that in with healthier options.

This is something you can do. You'll screw up from time to time, everyone does. If you do, log it and start fresh the next day. Ignore the comments from your family. I know how hard that is, but this is YOUR life, not theirs. If you're actually trying to better yourself and they can't see that, just smile and nod and go about your business. If they do care about you, they'll eventually notice the positive changes and comment on that instead.