Sometimes family can really make u feel like crap

MeIShouldB

My sister was gathering together clothes for a garage sale and my mom told her she can take her old wedding dress. That spiraled into a conversation about how everyone wants their wedding to be. I was making my breakfast and didn't really say anything and then they started talking about how getting married in the courthouse is so cheap (in a bad was obviously) and they would never do that blah blah blah. I said I might do that and I don't see what the problem is. We might do that and have a real wedding a couple years later. My sister said "why in case in doesn't last" and started laughing. They went on and on about how tacky that is, how that's for shotgun weddings, how I should at least do it at the park. And then my mom said why don't we get eharmony to pay for our wedding (that's how we met) and my sister chimned in "yea u might as well get them to pay for it, ya'll have been together damn near 50 years anyway" (its been 3 years). She went on to tell my mom that since I'm not going to have a real wedding, my mom can spend all the money on hers. Mind you, I have been with my boyfriend the longest out of all 3 of us (which probably bugs my sister since I'm younger). I'm like nobody is engaged right now so what are you jumping down my throat for. Crazy people.

LonLB

people suck, even if they are family

Buff2022

Yep amazing how family can act. I have been told that no man will marry me cause I am fat. That is okay cause the one I have now does not have to marry me. I know he loves me. That is all that matters.

Remember Haters=Motivators

MeIShouldB

Yep amazing how family can act. I have been told that no man will marry me cause I am fat. That is okay cause the one I have now does not have to marry me. I know he loves me. That is all that matters.

Remember Haters=Motivators

betteringmyselfeachday

You can't pick your family!I can so relate to you though it isn't even funny!

I got engaged last July to my boyfriend of 4 years. My sister has been with her boyfriend/baby daddy since January 2005. As soon as I get engaged, low and behold that mom starts talking about them getting engaged. My sister has created nothing but drama for me and my wedding (she is doing the bridal shower and bachelorette party). Her ideas are off the wall and nothing that I want. My mom of course defends her.

My mom has always catered to my sister. My mom has always saw my sister as the "pretty daughter" and my mom goes out of her way to help her. My mom gives me $5 and expects $10 back, but my parents have bailed my sister out financially so many times it isn't funny.

They both try to ruin "my good things in life". THey try to kick me when I am up high.

Feel free to vent to me anytime! The worst part? my fiancé lost 2 siblings, and would give anything to have his back. BUt he doesn't understand what it is like to have a crazy sister and mom!

AnninStPaul

Moving. Moving might be a good plan.

MeIShouldB

I start back to college in august so I'll be living in my apartment then.

JeffseekingV

Weddings are such a scam for the industry that supports it.

I had a big wedding. I hardly remember 1/2 of the people there. 500+. Waaay too big

bearkisses

i am getting married next friday at a fine dining restaurant, 15 people include me and my fiance.

No one has taken it seriously except me, fiance, moh, and best man (but even him barely). At first it upset me, but I am so happy with how beautiful our plan is. If no one likes it, I honestly don't care, because I will. I even called my dad to tell him that I would like him to walk me to my groom when the ceremony part starts, and he was like 'uhhuh, and how was your day', the whole time they haven't gotten it. My step-mother was the worst, I have known her for 2 years and she was acting like I was sabotaging my whole family.

But guess what, it isn't about them. And it isn't about your family, it is about you and your groom. The best thing for you would be to get used to them not being cheery and offering good ideas. Be cheery for yourself, and put up a deflector and don't take anything they say to heart at all. It isn't their wedding!!

MinnieInMaine

After playing a part (bridesmaid or speaker) in 5 HUGE weddings, I decided that was just rediculous so when Hubs and I got married, we did similar to what bearkisses has planned. We reserved a room at a nice local Italian restaurant and had 25 relatives and friends come to celebrate with us. One of my closest friends is a Notary Public so she performed the service for us and my BIL took pictures and made us a slideshow/video. It was a very nice afternoon and I wouldn't trade it for some elaborate ceremony for the world.

As others said, do what pleases you and your groom and forget what everyone else thinks.

grider055

Throat punch thursday was yesterday, but I'm pretty sure you can extend it to today.

kimbly71

Throat punch thursday was yesterday, but I'm pretty sure you can extend it to today.

This.

It seriously ticks me off how rude family can be. The coolest part about being an adult is getting to choose who you spend the majority of your time with. Remember that.

My husband and I got married by a justice of the peace and have been married for a decade and a half. Low-key weddings can last as long as any million dollar wedding. Cheers to you and your man. :drinker:

MeIShouldB

The hate is still going. We were watching Steve Harvey just now and this woman was losing her mind over this man b/c she thought he was so cute. I was like he's a normal man, calm down. My smart *kitten* sister says "well we can't all be in a relationship for 30 years" (again it's only been 3. So I replied "That's true, sucks for them". Dumb thing is my dad says how she tells him how she's proud of me, but when she talks to me it's all sarcasm and back-handed compliments.

MeIShouldB

i am getting married next friday at a fine dining restaurant, 15 people include me and my fiance.

No one has taken it seriously except me, fiance, moh, and best man (but even him barely). At first it upset me, but I am so happy with how beautiful our plan is. If no one likes it, I honestly don't care, because I will. I even called my dad to tell him that I would like him to walk me to my groom when the ceremony part starts, and he was like 'uhhuh, and how was your day', the whole time they haven't gotten it. My step-mother was the worst, I have known her for 2 years and she was acting like I was sabotaging my whole family.

But guess what, it isn't about them. And it isn't about your family, it is about you and your groom. The best thing for you would be to get used to them not being cheery and offering good ideas. Be cheery for yourself, and put up a deflector and don't take anything they say to heart at all. It isn't their wedding!!

That is a beautiful idea. Gonna have to keep that in mind. I hope you enjoy your day.

SweetestLibby

People can suck. Even family.

My parents didn't have a real wedding. They got married at the courthouse and spent the money they would have spent on a wedding TRAVELING. The family was upset that there was no real wedding - my parents said "Get bent. We're happy. Hugs and kisses from Europe."

Do what makes you and your SO happy!

MeIShouldB

Frankly I'd rather have a big ring and a small wedding. The wedding i one day. I plan to wear the ring for the rest of my life.

stephmantie

Aw beautiful lady, please don't let their hurtful words get to you! Sometimes family thinks that because they are with family, they can say hurtful things, and because they're your family, it takes some of the sting off their words. Its your life: do what you want! If they don't approve if how you wish to be married, then ask them where the money is that they're throwing in to pay for the wedding expenses!
It's your day, and a day that should be filled with joy and love. Although they did say some hurtful things, just remember that they do love you and are happy for you! Keep shining and being beautiful. Be happy and confident in your decision and make them look like fools!

Sending my love and support xoxoxoxo

Jersey_Devil

if ur happy who cares what they think- family or not

MeIShouldB

Aw beautiful lady, please don't let their hurtful words get to you! Sometimes family thinks that because they are with family, they can say hurtful things, and because they're your family, it takes some of the sting off their words. Its your life: do what you want! If they don't approve if how you wish to be married, then ask them where the money is that they're throwing in to pay for the wedding expenses!
It's your day, and a day that should be filled with joy and love. Although they did say some hurtful things, just remember that they do love you and are happy for you! Keep shining and being beautiful. Be happy and confident in your decision and make them look like fools!

Sending my love and support xoxoxoxo

I told my mother that part of the reason I would be ok with doing it that way is because if I let my mom help pay for it, she will make everything the way SHE wants it and say "well it's my money". NOPE

ArieMc88

Ok- my husband and I got married in a courthouse n saved a TON of $$. I do not love him anymore or less regardless of how we got married. N we met on Aol 10+ years ago. For them to talk down on how you want to get married or how you met you bf is a low blow.

Mario_Az

misery loves company and sometimes people are so unhappy with themself they want to see other people the same way just ignore them because in the end it will just be you and that other person.

rosellasweet

Dated my husband for 6 and a half years then got married on the beach in front of two friends. We met online and he is twice my age. My family gave me crap, of course. But guess who's living in the big city and making more money? This girl.

Don't pay attention to them. You're the only person you need to impress. It's a cliche but it's something that took me years to believe and I've never been happier.

rosellasweet

And I honestly don't remember my wedding day. However, I do remember all the awesome things my husband did and continues to do for me.

ElyseL1

That's kind of mean. I'm sorry but I wouldnt feel bad, my husband I went to Lake Tahoe to get married and it was a short cheap ceremony. we plan on redoing it with our friends and family on our fifth wedding anniversary. We bought a house so getting married cheap and quickly was easier than wasting the money on a huge ceremony.

amez1974

DH and I got married 16 years ago in a Courthouse-- where we got married has had no bearing on our marriage. I also wasn't pregnant (contrary to popular belief at the time!)

MeIShouldB

You people are wonderful

bio01979

I'd ignore it as much as you can I have to ignore my mother A LOT. Especially if the conversation turns to food

and I don't know why she has an issue with how long you've been together lol My sister and her now husband dated 5 years and were engaged 14 after that. They got married in a courthouse. (I actually was upset but not because they did it in a courthouse but because they did it in 3 days and didn't tell us (I was to be her moh) until after because they wanted to do it before the baby was born - ummm you had 14 years....) And they are just as happy as can be

If you want a courthouse then do a courthouse why spend a ton of money on one party?

StarChanger

Could be worse....

My dad (whom I've had a difficult relationship with most of my life, but I thought we had worked out, now that I'm "all grown up") recently visited. I won't go into multitude of generally insensitive things he did or said while he was here, but let's just say that at TWO separate dinners out, as he was checking out waitresses 40+ years younger than him, he made comments to my husband.

The first one was, roughly "You should go out and get yourself a hot 28 year old"......as I was sitting there (I'm in my early 40s, and not doing to bad in the aging department, frankly. I can ALWAYS lose weight).

The second was, roughly "It's just not normal for men to date/marry older women....you're supposed to have a younger wife"...my husband is 4.5 years younger than me (and can barely keep up, I might add...) and he KNOWS this.

Now, neither of these comments were directed AT me....they were said in the middle of completely mundane conversation. He is just an asshat sometimes and just doesn't THINK about what he's saying. Either way, I called him on it. It'll be a long time before he's invited back. He can sit at home with his "younger" wife (who looks like OliveOyl) and their 9 cats.

<

---

Also, 16yrs and counting after a court-house marriage after 6-month Navy deployment. It's not about THEM.

kookanddra

My husband and I got married by the judge outside at a friends house. Even when my in laws showed up late with our kids I didn't let it get to me. I was upset afterwards because if they wanted to be late I didn't care but to make my kids late pissed me off. But as far as the wedding, that's my day and no one elses. My husband later adopted my daughter and we've been together for 17 years. Do what makes you happy!! its your day!! :flowerforyou:

MeIShouldB

My husband and I got married by the judge outside at a friends house. Even when my in laws showed up late with our kids I didn't let it get to me. I was upset afterwards because if they wanted to be late I didn't care but to make my kids late pissed me off. But as far as the wedding, that's my day and no one elses. My husband later adopted my daughter and we've been together for 17 years. Do what makes you happy!! its your day!! :flowerforyou:

Beautiful.

lithezebra

I wanted a private ceremony, not a lot of stress and responsibility around my difficult family, so I eloped. It was wonderful!