I was so drunk, I....

michaelafoor916

let's hear some funny drunk stories...

my latest comes from last weekend- I was so drunk that when my boyfriend was driving home, the moon was so bright, I put the sun visor down haha

ilfaith

Back in college I left a six minute drunken message on a friend's answering machine and had no recollection of it until she played it back for me.

michaelafoor916

haha that's great. one time I was at my friends apartment drinking with her and her guy friend and while they were being all lovey dovey, I found a notebook and pen. I started writing this long note about god knows what.. I do remember trying to write "you're dad is awesome" and I wrote "you're dad is hot" instead hahahaha she's not let me live that down to this day

JSurita2

Oh gheeze have so many. I was once at a club watching a salsa band. I was directly in front of the stage and was singing trying to make eye contact with the lead singer. He called me up (well at least I thought he did, lmao) and I went up on stage and began singing with him. I would have never done that without the “liquid courage”. My debut performance

Alisontheice

I served cheesecake from my freezer and the next morning wondered why there was a dirty knife on the counter and how I had gotten to bed.

Spnneil06

Sexted a guy and asked him to suck my toes! WTF?? That isn't even my thing. Don't even remember asking he had to SHOW me the texts before I believed him.

JenAndSome

I won't go into all the details but my best drunken story ends with me bleeding from the back of the head and some guy crouched in front of me asking me to follow his finger with my eyes. To everyone at the party he holds his hands up and says, "It's okay. I'm a physical therapist." Which made me laugh so hard I puked.

undergloom

Ah, I remember the days when there existed an amount of alcohol that could actually get me drunk. Oh, to be a teenager again.

Elle_Bronwyn15

I sat in my room for 4 hours mumbling to my then boyfriend and tried to remember how to speak the English language.

The sad part is that English is my first and only language I know...

softblondechick

Fortunately at age 25, I realized all the stupid things I had done in my life up to that point we're due to alcohol. I now stick to one glass of wine or beer.

I made that decision after a particularly bad "Coyote Ugly" situation. Never again.

RunTimer

<---walked into an elephant, fell flat on my rear (Bangkok)

jpaulie

drunk? how to do you do this, tell me

FabulousFantasticFifty

Peed in the yard!

krdews

My brother took me out to celebrate my birthday, unfortunately I went down fast and hard so he was driving my car that is a 5 speed and while traveling 60 mph on the highway I pull the emergency brake, because apparently I wanted him to stop immediately! The next morning I wanted to know what that awful smell was coming from our garage.

sportjunky578

I was so drunk I ask someone's grandma if she wanted to dance but there was no dance floor at this place..haha

Debmal77

....I work up the next morning and saw that my bed sheets were covering in blood. However, my daughter had gotten up earlier and thought she should bring me a bowl of red Jell-O for breakfast. She dumped it in bed with me. When I woke up all I could think of was The Godfather. lol

big2strongCO

I have so many to choose from, dirty, dangerous, funny, upsetting (but still funny). We will start with dangerous but funny.
One time back in college I walked into my frat. house and everyone was watching the party tape we made of our latest bash which was an out of town date mixer at a hotel. Everyone in the room was laughing and yelling gathered around the TV. I walked in and noticed that the tape was showing a guy who had climbed WAY too high on a radio tower by the hotel, VERY DRUNK and I said "who's the dumb *kitten* that climbed up the tower". Right then the whole room turned and looked at me and and I heard "are you serious" and I said "yes" and the reply was "its you!"
I have a surprising amount of very crazy/dangerous drunk stories, I guess someone was looking out for me during that phase of my life.

Alisontheice

Another time I let people convince me it was a good idea to use my phone to set up a tinder account and I woke up the next morning to messages about pegging. *shudder*

headofphat

Just your typical waking up and taking a leak in the hallway because I thought it was the bathroom.

michaelafoor916

jpaulie wrote: »

drunk? how to do you do this, tell me

I'm like this with liquor... I never liked beer until recently and I found it really *kitten* me up lol

Steam_Powered_Awesome

Got so drink at my friends house had to be carried to the car because I couldn't walk and I demanded taco bell on the way home. When I got home at 3am ran into the house singing about tacos. Apparently I wouldn't shut up about tacos

YanskaNY

I got too tipsy at a Christmas party at my house one year and leaned backwards against what I thought was a wall but it was actually the space between the wall and our family Christmas tree. I hit the floor, knocking some ornaments off. Whew, the tree was still standing - until I scrambled to get up. Tiiiimbeeerrrrr!!!!!! My mother wanted to throttle me.

JSurita2

YanskaNY wrote: »

I got too tipsy at a Christmas party at my house one year and leaned backwards against what I thought was a wall but it was actually the space between the wall and our family Christmas tree. I hit the floor, knocking some ornaments off. Whew, the tree was still standing - until I scrambled to get up. Tiiiimbeeerrrrr!!!!!! My mother wanted to throttle me.

LOL...this is too funny.

backtofit68

24 years ago today I was so drunk the night I meet my wife I threw up all in her car and fell down in a ditch . That is when she new it was love at first sight as I sat there in the ditch covered in puke and whatever else was in the ditch .

JSurita2

backtofit68 wrote: »

24 years ago today I was so drunk the night I meet my wife I threw up all in her car and fell down in a ditch . That is when she new it was love at first sight as I sat there in the ditch covered in puke and whatever else was in the ditch .

Wow, this is so romantic in a sort of gross kind of way.

Alisontheice

backtofit68 wrote: »

24 years ago today I was so drunk the night I meet my wife I threw up all in her car and fell down in a ditch . That is when she new it was love at first sight as I sat there in the ditch covered in puke and whatever else was in the ditch .

The fact she didn't puke really shows it was love

LiquidSparkle86

21st birthday-puked in the toilet, past out near my friends kitty litter box and puked again, hubby threw me over his shoulder and out me in his truck where I puked yet again. He got me home and put me in bed and went to get some water from the kitchen. When he noticed he couldn't find our wiener dog Frank, he came back to the room and found him eating puke #4 out of my hair.

Lisa1971

Passed out cold at my husband's grandma's house! In my defense his grandma is SUPER annoying and I needed alcohol to deal with her. I had waaaaaaay too much jack right before we arrived (he drove) for Easter dinner and I passed out cold on the couch. Turns out I found out I was pregnant 2 days later so I had that to blame it on! LOL!

Escursionista

Walked off the pier my boat was moored at...

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

Let somebody who was also drunk cut my hair.

SugarBabyGirl

I tried to talk a young prostitute out of her job while in Las Vegas.