getting over a relationship

13

Replies

  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    time.
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    Sex....
  • britzzie
    britzzie Posts: 338 Member
    Two words. "Revenge diet." Although I don't think of it as dieting anymore, just a healthy lifestyle. Refocus on you. Be good to yourself. Cardio works better than therapy and is cheaper.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    cliché #101023359: the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.
  • Patti1023
    Patti1023 Posts: 78 Member
    Delete them off facebook, delete their phone number, delete their photos from your phone.

    Also i find exercise is a great lift for your mood :)
    Me personally, I would not delete their photo and destroy any photos of that person - that is history of your life (a part that is hurtful now) but down the road, it gives you the opportunity to look back on your life and see how far you have come. By all means store the photos away until such time, that is a part of your life that cannot be erased. Delete from Facebook, of course.,

    I agree with this, after my breakup I deleted him from Facebook but I still have the pictures (although I don't look at them pining away or anything, lol). I also see that as history & would hate to delete them now & regret it later. And yes, work out whenever you feel down about it, it's better in the long run than binging on something that's bad for you!
  • jakesfitness
    jakesfitness Posts: 123 Member
    Get a workout routine and stick to it. i commited to my excercise after my breakup and it got me in the best shape of my life, and gave me something to focus on besides my ex.
  • SlimSumday
    SlimSumday Posts: 379 Member

    AWESOME. I love a good break up story.

    Mine - I lost almost 20kg and met the love of my life who I've been with for the past 2 years. Also had the satisfaction of having my ex (who was a massive see-you-next-tuesday) begrudingly tell me that I was "looking really good" and ask me out again. Not ashamed to say that rejecting him was all too sweet!

    Awesome!!
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
    Rules for breakups as per Moi:

    - don't speak to the person for a minimum of 30 days following the break up. If you find the urge to call them, call a friend and talk it out. Delete number, facebook, MFP, email, etc to make sure NO CONTACT is to be had - ESPECIALLY NO DRUNK DIALING! If they call you don't answer and have a friend check the message and have them delete it so you don't hear their voice.

    - get out of the house. go out with friends, keep busy, work out more, make new friends - whatever you do, keep busy!

    - make yourself happy. if there is anything you couldn't or wouldn't dare do while you were in the relationship - do it now... you now can! exp. my ex hated the fact that I was always approached for photoshoots - so, I decided I was going to go and be in the Toronto Sun as their "Sunshine girl" after he and I broke up

    - Never blame yourself... whatever you do, don't start to think too much and think of how you could have prevented the break up - that doesn't help YOU

    - "It's called a Breakup Because It's Broken" - great book! Read it

    - Invest in YOU... remember, the only person that takes care of you is YOU

    - I always had an animal to help me cope with breakups... I walked my dog constantly and she got a ton of exercise at the time which helped her and me get out of the house and keep busy

    I have more, but that should do for now.

    OH and if you're a woman (sorry I didn't check), the book called "Better single than sorry" Jen Schefft - I will NEVER regret buying that book and having read it over and over again until it finally sunk into my brain.

    GOOD LUCK!

    P.S. I don't agree with this method, but I've also been told "To get over one man is to get underneath another."
  • Miss_Meliss86
    Miss_Meliss86 Posts: 372 Member
    Time and space is what did it for me. And keeping myself busy with work, school, and the gym. We also lived together so the move definitely took up a lot of my energy/time for the first little while.

    Depending on how much time and energy you had invested into the relationship can have a huge impact on how long it takes to get over it. For me, it took a good couple of months after we went our separate ways until I was able to look at him and not feel sad. The breakup was amicable but after 5 years together, it's hard to let something like that go easily. You don't just lose a partner but a friend too.

    I'm thankful to say that we are back to being friends again and we're definitely better off that way. I took the time I needed to be single and get to know myself again, and am happy to say that I'm with someone who is awesome and much more compatible :)

    So, long story short, what you do to get over your relationship is going to be based on what you enjoy doing and what you can put all of you energy and time into. Mine was a combination of school, work, and working out. Let yours be what you need it to be and you'll find yourself over them in no time :)
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    get out there and exercise!! look for a new women's workout class. join a hiking group on the weekends. join a recreational softball or soccer league (great place to meat new people). sign up for a few personal training sessions. just make appointments/commitments that are hard to break. focus on making yourself better and before you know it you will be feeling awesome!

    this is the perfect time to make a change now that you are single. no one to get in the way or complain you're spending too much time at the gym. do what makes you happy!
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
    I have recently got out of an abusive both mentally and physically marriage. The day the police arrested him for leaving me for near dead was the day I started to move on. For the past three months though I have been living with the memories of the abuse and all of the horrible names that he used to call me. I have had to get counselling to get me through but I have done it, now his horrible names that he called me is spurring me. I agree though to get rid of everything. I had a huge bonfire one evening and that was me taking control of my life again. Now I am happier than I was 6 years ago when I first met him and no-one will ever control me like that again but it will take time to go into a new relationship to trust someone new. I don't agree with what some people are saying about just going out and getting laid, no matter how many people you sleep with it still doesn't hide the hurt and pain you will go through and why hurt someone else too? Anyways good luck to you there is a light after the tunnel
  • abbyrae1
    abbyrae1 Posts: 265 Member
    workout and spend time with friends. best thing in my opinion. Exercise releases dopamine and endorphins, which make you feel good and it helps make ya look good too :wink: having a couple friends around to chat when you need to is always nice.

    Good luck!
  • babyj0
    babyj0 Posts: 531 Member
    I hate when I go to answer on a post.. everyone has the same answer. Lol jk!

    But yes...
    Time is all you need.
    And you need to cut off all contact.
  • pjp1125
    pjp1125 Posts: 313
    TIme. It gets easier and you'll be over it before you know it. I like to think back to all the 'losses' I've had and marvel how ok with them I am now, even though at the time I was devastated.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    You know... all the old cliches:

    "Things happen for a reason."

    "When one door closes, another one opens."

    "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."


    Seriously though, whatever the reason for the break-up, if you think about it long enough, I'm sure you will realize that you are better off. Get out and do some things with friends. Take up a new hobby. Take on some task that you have been putting off. Focus your energy on you.
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
    soooo any know the best way to get over a relationship that doesn't include excessive food and booze?!?!? i need all the help i can get - totally amicable but somehow it still hurts???

    I'm in the same boat as you. My 3 1/2 year relationship ended last week and it's been really hard. Not amicably because he did me really wrong - so I'm struggling with not being very angry at him. So I'm working on letting the anger go so I can just focus on myself and heal.

    It will be very hard, but you will just wake up one day and decide you are ready to go about your business. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship, it's OK to be sad. Find things to do that make you happy and try to stay busy. It will take time.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    ugh, I wish I could move on...so I just beg him to stay....I'm weak.
  • thistimesucess
    thistimesucess Posts: 169 Member
    I set myself a goal of completing a 10k - never done anything like that before. Every day when I got home from work I would hit the pavements taking my hue and frustration out on them. By the time I got back, cooled down and had dinner it was almost bed time,so no time to sit thinking about what we would have done if he had been there. Also I was so physically tired that I slept better. Didn't solve everything but kept me busy and away from the booze.
  • Grlnxtdr0721
    Grlnxtdr0721 Posts: 597 Member
    Focus on something that makes YOU feel better. For me, that has been focusing on my workouts and goals. Instead of worrying over the relationship, put all of that energy into your workouts. It's like that saying, "Worrying is like a rocking chair. You can rock all day long, but you never go anywhere." Find something that leads you somewhere you want to be!!!
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    I throw myself into work and volunteer work. Granted i've been with the same guy now for 2.5 years, we've still had our moments and breaks where we were mad/needed time/school/etc...

    That's when I volunteer, I throw myself into my job (I'm an office manager, so I can always find more stuff that needs to be done), I go to more yoga classes (I have an unlimited membership, so I squeeze in extra classes)...

    I hate to be all cliche, but just focus on you. Love will find you. Stop looking and it'll find you (there's all my cliches)

    But it happened for me that way. I stopped caring and did my own thing, was in college, going to the gym 4 days a week, doing a little volunteer work.. and BAM he walked into my life. And now it's been 2.5 years, and we're best friends. Yes we fight sometimes, yes we get upset, yes we are both busy, sometimes to busy for each other, but we make it work.

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