Overwhelmed by PCOS
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PeachyCarol wrote: »KatherineNadeau wrote: »Directed to OP or not, this is her thread and if you're going to give rude advice she's going to see it and relate it to herself.
You're not a doctor and you've never had PCOS apparently, unless I've missed something? Your advice comes off as rude, whether it's intended or not, but I highly doubt people reach out for advice because they want to be beat down and blamed or their obvious mistakes.
Being shamed for mistakes only helps after awhile. I'm sure she's been beat up enough.
Okay. Enough. You're really just making assumptions. The OP's a big girl and can and has spoken for herself. Stop projecting your own issues into her thread.
If you have issues of your own? Start your own thread. What you're doing now is derailing and frankly just rude at this point. You've said what you had to say. Now you're just repeating yourself.
If she is, those assumptions are reasonable. And several of us are seeing the same thing.0 -
KatherineNadeau wrote: »This is what I'm saying. There appears to be some individuals on here that believes that 'tough love' will inflate their ego; perhaps they're not realizing it but their almighty God-complex is a bit insulting.
I read OPs message very clearly, they are depressed and looking for help. I'm sure they know that overeating is the issue, but you don't need to rub it in their face.
Like I said, how about you try some more supportive comments next time? You're coming off as extremely rude, no matter how you put it.
This website wasn't designed for unwarranted shaming. Unless you've been in her shoes you won't know the mental and physical pain she's going through.
It's easy for you to say that being hungry is fine but when you've spent the last ten years with overeating habits, your mind and body goes into panic mode. There are ways to deal with it, whether it's medication or therapy; the 'get over it' suggestion to a complete stranger seeking advice is pathetic.
A God complex? Oh my.
Sharing information and truths isn't about inflating one's ego or wanting to be seen as some almighty Diet God. That to me is just silly and seems like a heck of a lot of projection.
Not everything posted or every piece of advice is going to be for you...or be written in a way that you want to receive it. This is the internet. However the internet is not just designed for what works for one person. I live under the philosophy of taking what works for me and leaving what doesn't...because it might be the perfect thing that clicks for someone else.
I also wasn't aware that you have lived in the OP's shoes either. There seems to be a wee bit of projection and defending a response and an emotional reaction from the OP that I didn't seem to see her say she had.
It's funny that you mention projection. I think when people take a strong tone, such as we've seen here, it's because they believe that the thing that worked for them is the only way that works. When that's clearly not the case.0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
They weren't replies to the OP, though. Reread the thread. In order.
The OP had her head on straight, thankfully. A bunch of people, still working through their issues, have come to her rescue and are projecting their issues into her discussion, and some of us responded to THEM. Not her.
I didn't think the nature of replies to that poster - who presented the current medical view - was warranted, either.sdraper2014 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
I think that all depends on how a person chooses to point it out actually.
I can be told factual information in a fairly rude way and have a pretty negative response, or I can be told in a way that is considered polite by most, and I and more likely to be welcoming of that information; I think this is true of most people. In my opinion the mode of delivery does matter.
It's essential. Otherwise you have a lot of shrieking and people just not hearing each other.
She did not represent the current medical view. She represented the view of low carb advocates.
She did, actually. Lower carb isn't the only way to deal with it, but it's recommended by many.
Wikipedia overview
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome#Management
http://www.guidelines.co.uk/obstetrics_gynaecology_urology_PCOUK-PCOS_OCT12#.VY65HqYXppk
The right diet for an individual is one that is practical, sustainable and compatible with her lifestyle. It is sensible to reduce glycaemic load by lowering sugar content in favour of more complex carbohydrates and to avoid fatty foods; it is often helpful to refer to a dietitian, if available - See more at: http://www.guidelines.co.uk/obstetrics_gynaecology_urology_PCOUK-PCOS_OCT12#.VY65HqYXppk
That's low glycemic, not low carb. When I went to Google Scholar, the pilot study I found backed that finding up too. Not low carb. There's a difference between the two. I can carb it up and watch the glycemic load of them.
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I have to take my friend's word that she has pcos and that she is loosing the weight I've been trying to get her to loose for 3 years. But if I am to believe her at her heaviest she was about 220 and she's now below 190. All by counting her calories and very minimal exercise.0
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Just some basic respect would be great.0
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KatherineNadeau wrote: »Directed to OP or not, this is her thread and if you're going to give rude advice she's going to see it and relate it to herself.
You're not a doctor and you've never had PCOS apparently, unless I've missed something? Your advice comes off as rude, whether it's intended or not, but I highly doubt people reach out for advice because they want to be beat down and blamed or their obvious mistakes.
Being shamed for mistakes only helps after awhile. I'm sure she's been beat up enough.
This isn't about you and how you perceive the words on the page though. You're speaking for someone that is entirely capable of speaking for herself. You, in all actuality, have zero idea if this is how she feels at all. And you're derailing the thread in question, which isn't actually helping the OP, either. I also didn't see where you offered up any advice. All of your posts have been intent on shaming other people. Which, ironically, is exactly what you're complaining about.0 -
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KatherineNadeau wrote: »Someone without PCOS telling someone that actually has it to 'simply stop eating' is rude. This is a public thread so don't get your panties in a twist when others read your 'advice.'
I have not walked in her shoes but she's clearly upset about her situation. I'm allowed to voice my opinion, and I'm allowed to stick up for someone with the same medical condition as myself.
You can't just be an *kitten* to someone and then get upset when others return the favour.
Can you read the bolded portion to yourself, because you ma'am are being a hypocrite of epic proportions.
You don't even have PCOS and are up in here trying to smack people down. Get over yourself and stop derailing this thread with what you think is standing up for someone who you perceive to have been wronged. I have PCOS. So jog on.0 -
RebeccaMaunder wrote: »Thank you everyone for your responses. I know that my choices with food have been mine alone. I do not blame carbs or anything else for that. I chose to put food on my mouth. My point I was making with the original post was admitting that I've used pcos as an excuse because of what a doc said. I want to change it. I was really looking for helpful ideas for that. I get the cico thing and measuring your food... Which I do sometimes... I need to be consistent but I guess I wanted to know what types of things people are eating what are you doing to combat what you are dealing with.
Thank you all
Interesting that the OP herself appears to have found the posts helpful...despite the charge of white knighting in this thread I've found a lot of the information posted informative too...right up until people start making unnecessary and subjective comments about delivery of said information
@RebeccaMaunder you have had some excellent information in this thread, I'm sorry some have seen fit to derail it...good luck0 -
I have PCOS so your post is entirely irrelevant.0
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I have a PCOS diagnosis too..does that mean I can say everything you are saying is wrong?
I also have a "you no longer have PCOS diagnosis"
....Cos doctors0 -
KatherineNadeau wrote: »I have PCOS so your post is entirely irrelevant.
Oh okay well just remove that part then. You're still derailing, being condescending, and can jog on.0 -
I too have struggled with PCOS for all of my adult . I wasn't really properly diagnosed with scans and everything until I went to a specialist in India of all places. I was first put on Metformin and birth control when I was diagnosed at 20. Nearly 10 years later, I have better information and I know that birth control and Metformin aren't always the answer and if you are like me, you may not tolerate them well. I do know that a lot of symptoms of PCOS can be reversed with weight loss and nutrition. I am trying to bring my cycles back with regular exercise and monitoring what I eat. I really don't want to have to take any pharmaceuticals.
Last year I came across a great website that really helped shed light on my PCOS issues. http://pcosdiva.com/ Check it out and see if some of the nutrition and lifestyle advice can be helpful to you.
I also recommend checking out Dr. Lara Briden and her book, "Period Repair Manual." http://www.larabriden.com/
On the plus side of this, I am happy to know that I am not alone in my condition and efforts to improve my reproductive functioning. Please feel free to add me.
- Trish0 -
KatherineNadeau wrote: »I have PCOS so your post is entirely irrelevant.
Having PCOS doesn't make you an expert in it, nor does it make your posts relevant. Lots of us on here have overcome medical issues and successfully lost a lot of weight and improved our health. And from that place of experience are offering up advice. Experience trumps reading articles on the internet every time for me.
It may not be your preferred "flavor" of advice, but that doesn't mean it's not good, solid advice. So you should either move on and find something else to complain about - or try to add something constructive to the conversation to help the OP. Right now, you're just creating noise.0 -
KatherineNadeau wrote: »Someone without PCOS telling someone that actually has it to 'simply stop eating' is rude. This is a public thread so don't get your panties in a twist when others read your 'advice.'
That didn't have to do with the OP. In fact, the OP has said that she believes she needs to eat less and is asking for help on how to get a plan going for that.
This whole thing started because another poster jumped in and claimed that it was impossible to lose weight successfully with PCOS (and another said you had to go low carb) and those things are not true and--IMO--not encouraging either.0 -
...There appears to be some individuals on here that believes that 'tough love' will inflate their ego; perhaps they're not realizing it but their almighty God-complex is a bit insulting.
I read OPs message very clearly, they are depressed and looking for help. I'm sure they know that overeating is the issue, but you don't need to rub it in their face.
Like I said, how about you try some more supportive comments next time? You're coming off as extremely rude, no matter how you put it.
This website wasn't designed for unwarranted shaming. Unless you've been in her shoes you won't know the mental and physical pain she's going through.
It's easy for you to say that being hungry is fine but when you've spent the last ten years with overeating habits, your mind and body goes into panic mode. There are ways to deal with it, whether it's medication or therapy; the 'get over it' suggestion to a complete stranger seeking advice is pathetic.There's a lot of hate going on in this thread and it's pretty sad. Bottom line is no one here is a certified doctor experienced with PCOS. Everyone's body is different
Who are you to judge another person's intentions? You are doing nothing but projecting your own stuff onto other people's responses.
I personally see a lot of truth here, along with different perceptions and experiences, but the only harshness I would ever see in a conversation like this is not saying the truth.
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ellesMFP93 wrote: »I'm not saying people with insulin resistance and PCOS don't or didn't overeat. I'm saying it's not the same as knowingly eating past the point of being full.
This is what I found problematic about the post you are defending, tomatoey--the suggestion is that someone with PCOS (although she really means IR) can't help overeating (and thus has to go low carb) vs. the rest of us who apparently have completely different and easy to handle struggles since apparently we got fat by eating and eating after feeling full.
Obviously it's more complicated and that last is unlikely to happen much unless people have binging issues. understanding that you have a condition that makes it less likely that you will feel satiated eating lots of carbs or unbalanced carbs and might do better with carbs along with fiber, fat, and protein or by reducing carbs is one thing (and is good advice, IMO). But claiming that people with IR can't help overeating or have vastly different issues when reducing calories than others isn't necessarily true or helpful.
What strategies work to deal with overeating are going to vary by person, so understanding first that you are overeating (as OP clearly does) and second when and why that happens is an important part of the process of figuring out how to stop it.
Contrary to elleMFP93, I seriously doubt anyone's major revelation is just "hey, I kept eating even though I was super full! I'll stop that!" Saying it's about overeating doesn't mean that.
I think some people have this idea (socially understandable, but not helpful) that overeating is morally bad and makes you a bad or inferior person, so they consider the simple statement of fact "you are overeating" to be a judgment or insult. That gets imputed into conversations and so things that aren't insulting are taken that way. (And here the complaints about insults derailed OP's thread, as OP herself said she was overeating.)0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »
I agree.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »KatherineNadeau wrote: »I have PCOS so your post is entirely irrelevant.
Having PCOS doesn't make you an expert in it, nor does it make your posts relevant. Lots of us on here have overcome medical issues and successfully lost a lot of weight and improved our health. And from that place of experience are offering up advice. Experience trumps reading articles on the internet every time for me.
It may not be your preferred "flavor" of advice, but that doesn't mean it's not good, solid advice. So you should either move on and find something else to complain about - or try to add something constructive to the conversation to help the OP. Right now, you're just creating noise.
This. So this.0 -
I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
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kshama2001 wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
And I disagree strongly with all 3 of you
So that's nice 0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
And I disagree strongly with all 3 of you
So that's nice
Snort.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
And I disagree strongly with all 3 of you
So that's nice
I'll second that.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
And I disagree strongly with all 3 of you
So that's nice
Heh.
And me too.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
And I disagree strongly with all 3 of you
So that's nice
I do as well.0 -
And, in for five.0
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lemurcat12 wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
I also agree with KatherineNadeau (and you, tomatoey.)
And I disagree strongly with all 3 of you
So that's nice
Heh.
And me too.
Me also.
Regarding not being "qualified" to comment in this thread"? I know how weight loss works with other metabolic, emotional, medical, physically limiting, and lifestyle issues/complications.
People with EVERY disorder in the book, particularly the newly diagnosed or those going through a really rough patch think that they're alone and that no one can understand or relate or has it quite like they do. It's depressing, it's understandable, but it's wrong and after a point? It's self-indulgent to one's own detriment. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. When I realized how much I was hurting myself in retrospect, I was pretty angry at myself. I got over that too.
You can have all the issues in the world and think all the obstacles are in your way, but you are stronger than you think.
So yes, to the people who are not yet accepting the fact that they ate too much and still feel like helpless victims (this includes blaming the food) instead of proactive warriors? You've still got some work to do.
Those of us with limits are not bound or defined by them unless we let ourselves be.
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