Overwhelmed by PCOS
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The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.0 -
I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
Maybe not in theory but there was a lot of shaming in this thread.0 -
I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
They weren't replies to the OP, though. Reread the thread. In order.
The OP had her head on straight, thankfully. A bunch of people, still working through their issues, have come to her rescue and are projecting their issues into her discussion, and some of us responded to THEM. Not her.
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PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
I think that all depends on how a person chooses to point it out actually.
I can be told factual information in a fairly rude way and have a pretty negative response, or I can be told in a way that is considered polite by most, and I and more likely to be welcoming of that information; I think this is true of most people. In my opinion the mode of delivery does matter.
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PeachyCarol wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
They weren't replies to the OP, though. Reread the thread. In order.
The OP had her head on straight, thankfully. A bunch of people, still working through their issues, have come to her rescue and are projecting their issues into her discussion, and some of us responded to THEM. Not her.
I didn't think the nature of replies to that poster - who presented the current medical view - was warranted, either.sdraper2014 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
I think that all depends on how a person chooses to point it out actually.
I can be told factual information in a fairly rude way and have a pretty negative response, or I can be told in a way that is considered polite by most, and I and more likely to be welcoming of that information; I think this is true of most people. In my opinion the mode of delivery does matter.
It's essential. Otherwise you have a lot of shrieking and people just not hearing each other.0 -
I didn't see shaming. What I did see was a discussion about PCOS and especially IR and how that affects the ability to lose that wasn't even directed at anything the OP said, so couldn't have been meant to negatively toward her at all. If anything they were directed at her doctor's comments and in agreement with her initial post somewhat.
Moving to the OP:RebeccaMaunder wrote: »Thank you everyone for your responses. I know that my choices with food have been mine alone. I do not blame carbs or anything else for that. I chose to put food on my mouth. My point I was making with the original post was admitting that I've used pcos as an excuse because of what a doc said. I want to change it. I was really looking for helpful ideas for that. I get the cico thing and measuring your food... Which I do sometimes... I need to be consistent but I guess I wanted to know what types of things people are eating what are you doing to combat what you are dealing with.
I don't have PCOS and suspect the group that was linked might be quite helpful for you to check out.
When it comes to figuring out how to cut calories successfully, though, I think for everyone starting out it's really helpful to understand where your extra calories are coming from and why. In other words, log or think about your normal days, what you eat when, and why. Do you overeat at meals? Do you eat between meals? Do you eat a bunch at night before bed? If you eat between meals is it because you are hungry or because it's there and looks tasty or because you have certain habits associated with food?
If you are struggling with hunger, and not simply habits or emotional eating, then it's again useful to think about why. Some people have a habit of trying to eat very little throughout the day and then end up binging at night. Going to a more regular meal plan and eating more earlier can help them. Others--and this relates to PeachyCarol's comments about food choice above--are choosing foods that don't satiate them.
The problem is (contrary to what some low carb advocates claim) what is satiating to people varies, so you have to experiment. In that insulin resistance is common for people with PCOS and the obese in general, though, it's worth trying the changes someone with IR would make if you tend to be hungry. That means lowering carbs and increasing fat and protein AND, especially, making sure that you eat fat and protein with your carbs. For example, if you usually eat a sandwich with lots of bread and maybe some fruit on the side, change that to a salad with protein which reduces the carbs and increases the protein, usually, make sure there's some fat on the salad, and see if that makes a difference. Stuff like that.
It takes some trial and error for many, so don't beat yourself up if it takes a while to figure out.0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
They weren't replies to the OP, though. Reread the thread. In order.
The OP had her head on straight, thankfully. A bunch of people, still working through their issues, have come to her rescue and are projecting their issues into her discussion, and some of us responded to THEM. Not her.
I didn't think the nature of replies to that poster - who presented the current medical view - was warranted, either.sdraper2014 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
I think that all depends on how a person chooses to point it out actually.
I can be told factual information in a fairly rude way and have a pretty negative response, or I can be told in a way that is considered polite by most, and I and more likely to be welcoming of that information; I think this is true of most people. In my opinion the mode of delivery does matter.
It's essential. Otherwise you have a lot of shrieking and people just not hearing each other.
She did not represent the current medical view. She represented the view of low carb advocates.
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PeachyCarol wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
They weren't replies to the OP, though. Reread the thread. In order.
The OP had her head on straight, thankfully. A bunch of people, still working through their issues, have come to her rescue and are projecting their issues into her discussion, and some of us responded to THEM. Not her.
I didn't think the nature of replies to that poster - who presented the current medical view - was warranted, either.sdraper2014 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
I think that all depends on how a person chooses to point it out actually.
I can be told factual information in a fairly rude way and have a pretty negative response, or I can be told in a way that is considered polite by most, and I and more likely to be welcoming of that information; I think this is true of most people. In my opinion the mode of delivery does matter.
It's essential. Otherwise you have a lot of shrieking and people just not hearing each other.
She did not represent the current medical view. She represented the view of low carb advocates.
She did, actually. Lower carb isn't the only way to deal with it, but it's recommended by many.
Wikipedia overview
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome#Management
http://www.guidelines.co.uk/obstetrics_gynaecology_urology_PCOUK-PCOS_OCT12#.VY65HqYXppk
The right diet for an individual is one that is practical, sustainable and compatible with her lifestyle. It is sensible to reduce glycaemic load by lowering sugar content in favour of more complex carbohydrates and to avoid fatty foods; it is often helpful to refer to a dietitian, if available - See more at: http://www.guidelines.co.uk/obstetrics_gynaecology_urology_PCOUK-PCOS_OCT12#.VY65HqYXppk0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »KatherineNadeau wrote: »Directed to OP or not, this is her thread and if you're going to give rude advice she's going to see it and relate it to herself.
You're not a doctor and you've never had PCOS apparently, unless I've missed something? Your advice comes off as rude, whether it's intended or not, but I highly doubt people reach out for advice because they want to be beat down and blamed or their obvious mistakes.
Being shamed for mistakes only helps after awhile. I'm sure she's been beat up enough.
Okay. Enough. You're really just making assumptions. The OP's a big girl and can and has spoken for herself. Stop projecting your own issues into her thread.
If you have issues of your own? Start your own thread. What you're doing now is derailing and frankly just rude at this point. You've said what you had to say. Now you're just repeating yourself.
If she is, those assumptions are reasonable. And several of us are seeing the same thing.0 -
KatherineNadeau wrote: »This is what I'm saying. There appears to be some individuals on here that believes that 'tough love' will inflate their ego; perhaps they're not realizing it but their almighty God-complex is a bit insulting.
I read OPs message very clearly, they are depressed and looking for help. I'm sure they know that overeating is the issue, but you don't need to rub it in their face.
Like I said, how about you try some more supportive comments next time? You're coming off as extremely rude, no matter how you put it.
This website wasn't designed for unwarranted shaming. Unless you've been in her shoes you won't know the mental and physical pain she's going through.
It's easy for you to say that being hungry is fine but when you've spent the last ten years with overeating habits, your mind and body goes into panic mode. There are ways to deal with it, whether it's medication or therapy; the 'get over it' suggestion to a complete stranger seeking advice is pathetic.
A God complex? Oh my.
Sharing information and truths isn't about inflating one's ego or wanting to be seen as some almighty Diet God. That to me is just silly and seems like a heck of a lot of projection.
Not everything posted or every piece of advice is going to be for you...or be written in a way that you want to receive it. This is the internet. However the internet is not just designed for what works for one person. I live under the philosophy of taking what works for me and leaving what doesn't...because it might be the perfect thing that clicks for someone else.
I also wasn't aware that you have lived in the OP's shoes either. There seems to be a wee bit of projection and defending a response and an emotional reaction from the OP that I didn't seem to see her say she had.
It's funny that you mention projection. I think when people take a strong tone, such as we've seen here, it's because they believe that the thing that worked for them is the only way that works. When that's clearly not the case.0 -
PeachyCarol wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »I agree with @KatherineNadeau Actually I had a visceral response to some of the replies.
I mean the OP said, in her post, that she felt she ate a lot. Off the bat. So much of what followed was unnecessary and shaming. People could have just presented their strategies, and left it at that. Obviously different approaches are working for people in different ways, and the condition itself is variable.
They weren't replies to the OP, though. Reread the thread. In order.
The OP had her head on straight, thankfully. A bunch of people, still working through their issues, have come to her rescue and are projecting their issues into her discussion, and some of us responded to THEM. Not her.
I didn't think the nature of replies to that poster - who presented the current medical view - was warranted, either.sdraper2014 wrote: »PeachyCarol wrote: »The irony is fairly dripping off the last two posts.
There is no shaming in pointing out factual information.
I think that all depends on how a person chooses to point it out actually.
I can be told factual information in a fairly rude way and have a pretty negative response, or I can be told in a way that is considered polite by most, and I and more likely to be welcoming of that information; I think this is true of most people. In my opinion the mode of delivery does matter.
It's essential. Otherwise you have a lot of shrieking and people just not hearing each other.
She did not represent the current medical view. She represented the view of low carb advocates.
She did, actually. Lower carb isn't the only way to deal with it, but it's recommended by many.
Wikipedia overview
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome#Management
http://www.guidelines.co.uk/obstetrics_gynaecology_urology_PCOUK-PCOS_OCT12#.VY65HqYXppk
The right diet for an individual is one that is practical, sustainable and compatible with her lifestyle. It is sensible to reduce glycaemic load by lowering sugar content in favour of more complex carbohydrates and to avoid fatty foods; it is often helpful to refer to a dietitian, if available - See more at: http://www.guidelines.co.uk/obstetrics_gynaecology_urology_PCOUK-PCOS_OCT12#.VY65HqYXppk
That's low glycemic, not low carb. When I went to Google Scholar, the pilot study I found backed that finding up too. Not low carb. There's a difference between the two. I can carb it up and watch the glycemic load of them.
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I have to take my friend's word that she has pcos and that she is loosing the weight I've been trying to get her to loose for 3 years. But if I am to believe her at her heaviest she was about 220 and she's now below 190. All by counting her calories and very minimal exercise.0
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Just some basic respect would be great.0
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KatherineNadeau wrote: »Directed to OP or not, this is her thread and if you're going to give rude advice she's going to see it and relate it to herself.
You're not a doctor and you've never had PCOS apparently, unless I've missed something? Your advice comes off as rude, whether it's intended or not, but I highly doubt people reach out for advice because they want to be beat down and blamed or their obvious mistakes.
Being shamed for mistakes only helps after awhile. I'm sure she's been beat up enough.
This isn't about you and how you perceive the words on the page though. You're speaking for someone that is entirely capable of speaking for herself. You, in all actuality, have zero idea if this is how she feels at all. And you're derailing the thread in question, which isn't actually helping the OP, either. I also didn't see where you offered up any advice. All of your posts have been intent on shaming other people. Which, ironically, is exactly what you're complaining about.0 -
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KatherineNadeau wrote: »Someone without PCOS telling someone that actually has it to 'simply stop eating' is rude. This is a public thread so don't get your panties in a twist when others read your 'advice.'
I have not walked in her shoes but she's clearly upset about her situation. I'm allowed to voice my opinion, and I'm allowed to stick up for someone with the same medical condition as myself.
You can't just be an *kitten* to someone and then get upset when others return the favour.
Can you read the bolded portion to yourself, because you ma'am are being a hypocrite of epic proportions.
You don't even have PCOS and are up in here trying to smack people down. Get over yourself and stop derailing this thread with what you think is standing up for someone who you perceive to have been wronged. I have PCOS. So jog on.0
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