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Panys_mom
Panys_mom Posts: 96 Member
in Motivation and Support
so I'm not really eating as great as I should. we just bought a house so our diets been mostly hot dogs Ramen and frozen veggies. twice today I was called fat and disgusting. normally I tune it out but it came from my 5 year old daughter. ouch. ouch with a capital b**** slap. I don't want my daughter to see me that way. so I guess I'm adding another mile to my walk.

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  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Ouch, that hurts. Kids can be brutal. But I also wonder where a 5 year old is getting that kind of language from? Does she hear you saying you're fat and disgusting and is parroting it? Could she be picking it up from other kids? Have you addressed with her how honesty is a good thing but it's never too early to start learning tact?
  • Panys_mom
    Panys_mom Posts: 96 Member
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    I watch what I say with her. she could have gotten it from school. wouldn't be the first time she's said something our of character.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    The reason I ask is that if she pid it up from you, then she might think it is ok to say about you, but if she got it from kids from school, then she's robably picked it up an an insult (rather than an observation). Anyway, just thinking out loud/in print.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    The reason I ask is that if she pid it up from you, then she might think it is ok to say about you, but if she got it from kids from school, then she's robably picked it up an an insult (rather than an observation). Anyway, just thinking out loud/in print.

    No, good point, she might not really know what she's actually saying, if she's just angry about something and copying other kids saying "mean" things.

    OTOH, it's true, if you talk about yourself that way, she may be reflecting that back. :/

    Yeesh, hard all around and hard to hear for sure. Sorry :/
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    tomatoey wrote: »
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    The reason I ask is that if she pid it up from you, then she might think it is ok to say about you, but if she got it from kids from school, then she's robably picked it up an an insult (rather than an observation). Anyway, just thinking out loud/in print.

    No, good point, she might not really know what she's actually saying, if she's just angry about something and copying other kids saying "mean" things.

    OTOH, it's true, if you talk about yourself that way, she may be reflecting that back. :/

    Yeesh, hard all around and hard to hear for sure. Sorry :/

    One of my friend's kids want to tell her mum she was ugly. She knew that if you didn't like your nose, you got a nose job, but that wasn't good enough so she yelled "Mum, you need a head job!!!!"
  • Panys_mom
    Panys_mom Posts: 96 Member
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    No it was nothing like that I was getting ready to take her to school she seen me getting dressed and she said Wow mom you're really fat. it's disgusting. I don't call myself fat because I don't want her to see that about me I don't want that negativity to be in there. it was just a total sucker punch. I don't talk about my weight I don't say that I need to lose weight.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    Definitely "ouch". Kids have no filters and they are parrots who far too often repeat things they have heard to devastatingly embarrassing effect. I can guarantee you that it's something she's heard someone else say and given the way she used it she has either heard it enough or in such a way that she understands the "proper" context.

    Frankly, if she does it again I think you should have a talk with her about where she heard it (so you can either deal with the originator or use it to help in the next part of the conversation) and then gently explaining that calling other people fat or disgusting is inappropriate and hurtful. You might ask if she meant to hurt your feelings, too. It's never too young to learn sensitivity and watching the things you say out loud about people.
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    Um. That's a behavior issue with her.

    She wouldn't be coming out of her room for the rest of the day if she pulled that nonsense with me.

    Your kid's being a jerk.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    In
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    edited July 2015
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    .
  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
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    I remember telling my mom she was fat. I was young enough to need her help in the bathroom, so I must've been around three or four.

    The thing is, I wasn't saying it to be mean. In my toddler brain, I was making an observation and thought it was something she might not have been aware of.

    I made her cry. Her reaction was so strong I took it back immediately (yeah, that worked) and have remembered that instance very vividly ever since. Still makes me cringe....

    My point being, that some times kids say the darnedest things. If she said you were "disgusting" though - that is definitely disturbing language that was picked up somewhere. (Also, IMO - teaching kids that "fat" people are not "disgusting" is always a good idea.)
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    "Disgusting" from a 6-year-old is mean and nasty.

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