Not new just improving

vedra_b

So over the years I have come back and forth on this site. Every time I have great hopes and dreams. Every time I say this time will be different. What is different this time is A. Iv lost 20 pounds and am loving the way I feel. B. I am scared to be FAT and OLD. C. I am allowing myself to live again after my son passed 3.5 years ago. I am not living in guilt and pain and sorrow. ( i still miss him always will but come to understand that life is an amazing ride and i can live and keep his memory very much alive and be happy... by the way booze and food do not make a happy me. I want desperately to feel alive and I am. I was recently told by an old friend actually a couple of them. That they had missed me that it was nice to see me back. so i would like to get my body back. I could use some help and encouragement and any advice. I wont say i wont stumble but i really really want this!