Hubby does not notice

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  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,039 Member
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    vdeepu17 wrote: »
    feeling very low now. I lost 15 lbs and my husband of 7 yrs did not notice it yet. Most of my work colleagues noticed it and complemented my weight loss. Today when we are going out in car we saw a girl jogging on the pavement. It just only a glimpse as we are driving by. All of a sudden my husband said she lost lot of weight. He told that she will jog for very long time in one workout. My heart just cringe. For the past 4 months Iam working out eating clean and loosing weight and he didn't notice that effort. He noticed some stranger on the street has lost weight. This didn't sit with me very well. But I just kept quite feeling very sad.

    It's hard to notice a 7 lb loss. It gets noticeable at around 15 lbs or so for most people.
  • vdeepu17
    vdeepu17 Posts: 30 Member
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    coreyreichle wrote: »
    vdeepu17 wrote: »
    feeling very low now. I lost 15 lbs and my husband of 7 yrs did not notice it yet. Most of my work colleagues noticed it and complemented my weight loss. Today when we are going out in car we saw a girl jogging on the pavement. It just only a glimpse as we are driving by. All of a sudden my husband said she lost lot of weight. He told that she will jog for very long time in one workout. My heart just cringe. For the past 4 months Iam working out eating clean and loosing weight and he didn't notice that effort. He noticed some stranger on the street has lost weight. This didn't sit with me very well. But I just kept quite feeling very sad.

    It's hard to notice a 7 lb loss. It gets noticeable at around 15 lbs or so for most people.

    I lost 15lbs .we were married for 7 yrs
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,039 Member
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    vdeepu17 wrote: »
    coreyreichle wrote: »
    vdeepu17 wrote: »
    feeling very low now. I lost 15 lbs and my husband of 7 yrs did not notice it yet. Most of my work colleagues noticed it and complemented my weight loss. Today when we are going out in car we saw a girl jogging on the pavement. It just only a glimpse as we are driving by. All of a sudden my husband said she lost lot of weight. He told that she will jog for very long time in one workout. My heart just cringe. For the past 4 months Iam working out eating clean and loosing weight and he didn't notice that effort. He noticed some stranger on the street has lost weight. This didn't sit with me very well. But I just kept quite feeling very sad.

    It's hard to notice a 7 lb loss. It gets noticeable at around 15 lbs or so for most people.

    I lost 15lbs .we were married for 7 yrs

    Gah, dyslexic or something on my part :P

    But, also bear in mind change perception as well. When you're losing a little at a time, it's also hard to notice. Contrast with whenever you do see a person, there could be a 20 lb difference since the last time you saw them. You'd notice that, rather than the gradual change.

    My wife didn't see any weight loss on me until 15 lbs. She never said anything, until I lost 20 and asked her if she saw a difference, and she had said she'd noticed it a few weeks prior, just never said anything.
  • bubaluboo
    bubaluboo Posts: 2,098 Member
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    My poor husband gets a running commentary on my weightloss and is asked for complements if I feel in need of them...it works both ways we tell each other of each success and congratulate accordingly. To me that's communicating. No point in getting wound up because you assume he's not noticed when he probably assumes that you know he knows you lost weight and that he's impressed by it. He also probably thinks he's complemented you already.
  • cleanbulk_hatersgfy
    cleanbulk_hatersgfy Posts: 31 Member
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    Personally, my beau notices close to everything about me. Every curve, hair style, clothes fit, shoes, scent, nail polish color, eating/sleep habits, quirks, mood (especially this! lol), etc. That's our relationship dynamics. Yours is different. My 2 cents, it is best to communicate.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Reading too much into it, context is everything. You know him and we dont. he might very well have noticed but decided for his own reasons not to say anything.
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    Ma
    vdeepu17 wrote: »
    After reading all the replies I asked myself a question. Am I unhappy coz he didn't notice me or for noticing another girl. I knew the answer and it hit me hard. Iam insecure about my body image. I understood that I need to work on my insecurities as well as my weight loss in this journey. Iam doing this for myself and my family , not for him. I can now see that very clearly. From his point of view he might not be comfortable to bring up my weight issue positively or negatively as it led to friction previously or honestly didn't notice as he is seeing me every day.Thank you all for making me understand what I need to work on. This insight is more motivation to continue this journey. One day he will notice that Iam very hot and healthy.

    Maybe you need to work on your attitude towards yourself.
    Try this stand in front of the mirror in your best underwear and say out loud everything you see that you like about yourself.
    Then every morning when you get up, tell yourself one thing that you are grateful for.
    Its all about positive attitude.
  • jessiruthica
    jessiruthica Posts: 412 Member
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    My husband doesn't compliment anything. Seriously, I can count on 2 hands the number of times he's complimented me at all without prompting. It just isn't his thing.

    Then one day (after I'd lost about 60 pounds) he said "I can never find you in a crowd anymore because I can't remember what you're wearing and you're such a tiny little thin thing now." So, he HAS noticed, he just hasn't said anything.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Husbands can never catch a break.

    OP Men are not mind readers. Speak up when you feel upset. It doesn't have to be an argument but say something.
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
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    My husband didn't mention my weight loss effort at first either. When I brought it up, he said "I've noticed, but didn't say anything, because I didn't want you to think I thought you were fat." Now that he knows I am okay talking about it, he brags on me, he talks to me about eating habits, he mentions if I've skipped a work out day. He wants me to be healthy and fit, but he didn't want to say anything that he thought would hurt me.

    I think you really need to talk about it. Open the conversation up lightly, like others suggested. Just casually mention it, and see how it goes from there. In a back handed way, he was probably trying to bring up the subject with his comment about the runner. That is something my husband would do.
  • demoiselle2014
    demoiselle2014 Posts: 474 Member
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    moyer566 wrote: »
    to be honest, since I've started being accountable and tracking I've lost 20lbs, but total I've lost closer to 30. no one has said one word about it to me. no one. not friends, work buds, fiancé, family
    it makes me sad but I keep going because it is about me. and I get happy as I see the scale numbers go down down down

    In many circles it's considered really impolite to comment on another person's weight, no matter what direction you are going. Weight loss could be involuntary due to depression or illness, for example, so if you haven't been mentioning your fitness and diet goals to others, they may feel like it is uncouth to comment.
  • yusaku02
    yusaku02 Posts: 3,476 Member
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    When I lost weight I didn't notice a change in myself until about 30 pounds lost so I wouldn't have expected others to notice either. Give him some more time.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
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    Like others have said, he sees you every single day. It's easier to notice that someone you only see every few days/weeks/months has lost weight because the change seems more drastic.

    Also, men just aren't as attention to detail as women at work might be.

    It could be that he has noticed and hasn't said anything for a number of reasons (not wanting you to think he thought you were fat before, a history of you getting upset when he makes a comment about your weight, etc.).

    Or it could be that we're going to notice a 15 lb loss when we look at ourselves in the mirror before another person will. I'm not saying 15 lbs isn't an accomplishment, but it often takes more than that for people that aren't as critical of our bodies as we are to notice.

    There's clearly a communication issue going on if you're coming to us about this rather than approaching your husband about it directly. What's so hard about saying, "I lost 15 lbs. Have you noticed?" in a casual way.

    More importantly, are you losing this weight for you or for your husband? Very few people have commented on my almost 40 lb weight loss without me bringing it up first, but that doesn't bother me at all. I lost the weight for me. I can clearly see a difference, and that's all I care about. As for my husband, we're very open about what's going on in each other's lives, so he knew that I was trying to lose weight. The lines of communication were already open, but I didn't expect him to mention it on a regular basis. Now we freely compliment each other's bodies and stroke each other's egos like total bros. :smiley:
  • R1rainbows
    R1rainbows Posts: 129 Member
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    It might be because he sees you everyday. Changes over time are harder to notice when you are always around each other :) don't give up, he'll come around!

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