Can a cheater change their ways

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mish24canada
mish24canada Posts: 152 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi I was just wondering if your significate other has cheated on you do you think they can change and never do it again?
Or once a cheater always a cheater?
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Replies

  • Mgriffin09
    Mgriffin09 Posts: 1
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    Well i dont think that when they cheat that they will do it again. That might have been a very big mistake and they will never do it again. But its are you going to beable to trust them agian? Are you going to be able to be with them and be ok with that. thats the question you need to ask before you go back with them. :)
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    Depends. They have to WANT to change and actually make the effort.
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
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    Depends. They have to WANT to change and actually make the effort.

    This.
    I imagine that pretty much anyone can change his/her behavior if that person really WANTS to make the change and is willing to work at it. Do most people actually change? Probably not.
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
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    once a cheater always a cheater. I'd never trust them.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Well you can never trust them thats for sure. You never know what is going through their mind. I'd be too insecure and paranoid to take them back.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
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    I have a different point of view than most. On one hand yes I believe if they want to they can.

    With that stated and this wont make me popular here but..... I think men are able to have something physical and it not mean anything. Men are visually stimulated first, then emotions are later. On the other hand a woman for the most part is more mentally and emotionally stimulated then visually after. So if a woman has already made it to cheating, there may not be any hope. Again unless they want to change.
  • deanjou59
    deanjou59 Posts: 737 Member
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    I believe that every one has the capacity to change...and that sometimes good people make poor choices. It takes work, insight, and dedication to change, but I believe it is possible.
  • Jennms85
    Jennms85 Posts: 49 Member
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    IMO......You will drive yourself crazy wondering if/when they'll ever do it again, therefore you will always be cheated of your happiness and sanity. i couldn't do it.
  • amijen3
    amijen3 Posts: 1
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    There are many reasons why a person cheats. I am still with the one who cheated on me. ALTHOUGH, I can not prove that they did cheat on me. It was all a matter of events that happened during an extended period of time. I also can not prove that he is still cheating on me. I trust him but, then there are moments where my mind tells me not to because the way events are taking place remind me of past events. It is all about whether you can accept and forgive them for their imperfection and weaknesses. You have to get over what has happened in order to move on either together or separately.
  • Brianna716
    Brianna716 Posts: 303 Member
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    I was cheated on by a few different guys... to my knowledge they're all either screwing around on their current girlfriend or have screwed around on another girlfriend since me.
  • RILEYRED
    RILEYRED Posts: 647 Member
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    A cheater is a cheater, I would never trust a person who cheated. I was cheated on, know what I speak of.They will also cheat on the person they cheated with, eventually too. Cheaters should never get a second chance, sorry and that is just my opinion, for a very good reason.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    I have a different point of view than most. On one hand yes I believe if they want to they can.

    With that stated and this wont make me popular here but..... I think men are able to have something physical and it not mean anything. Men are visually stimulated first, then emotions are later. On the other hand a woman for the most part is more mentally and emotionally stimulated then visually after. So if a woman has already made it to cheating, there may not be any hope. Again unless they want to change.
    Both adult men and women are able to determine the difference between right and wrong, even if there is no attachment it is still wrong.

    Either way it's wrong, they did something wrong. Plus women being emotional and men being so much more logical wouldn't they have a "better understanding" of wrong and right going by your very comment? Interesting pit you just dug yourself into.

    My thoughts, trust is gone, it could work but it won't be easy and neither will likely be happy. :)
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
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    Ummmm..errrr.. ok so if it gets to the point of straying, imo, the cheater didn't care enough about the relationship.

    So just break up.
  • nave002
    nave002 Posts: 211 Member
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    I have a different point of view than most. On one hand yes I believe if they want to they can.

    With that stated and this wont make me popular here but..... I think men are able to have something physical and it not mean anything. Men are visually stimulated first, then emotions are later. On the other hand a woman for the most part is more mentally and emotionally stimulated then visually after. So if a woman has already made it to cheating, there may not be any hope. Again unless they want to change.

    I, too, believe that a person can change but women are not visually stimulated 'til after??? Disagree:tongue:
  • Ninguneado73
    Ninguneado73 Posts: 832
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    No, I don't believe it can happen. I base my answer on knowing many cases and many people.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I think once that line has been crossed, it is much easier to cross it the next time. so no I don't think a cheater can change their ways.
  • matchbox_girl
    matchbox_girl Posts: 535 Member
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    I've been there....and he has changed....he proves his loyalty to me every day now. I'm glad I gave our relationship another chance.


    Most people will not agree, but we're only human. Mistakes are part of who we are. Really, it depends on how badly you want it to work, and how certain you are that you can trust him again.

    For the longest time people told me to end it, to leave him, especially total strangers on here who really had no idea other than he had cheated. Don't ask strangers. Go with your heart. He knows he made a mistake and he signed us up for counseling. He has gone to the moon and back to make it up to me. He knows he made a mistake....a HUGE one. But honestly? Your SO will have to make it up to you.....THEY have to take the steps to fix it, and be willing and GLAD to do it.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    I have a different point of view than most. On one hand yes I believe if they want to they can.

    With that stated and this wont make me popular here but..... I think men are able to have something physical and it not mean anything. Men are visually stimulated first, then emotions are later. On the other hand a woman for the most part is more mentally and emotionally stimulated then visually after. So if a woman has already made it to cheating, there may not be any hope. Again unless they want to change.

    Visually after? ...But why would I even bother speaking to a guy, let alone banging him, if he wasn't visually stimulating first?
  • RebeccaHite
    RebeccaHite Posts: 187 Member
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    Could you change your ways if you cheated?Turn the question around...
  • fleurdelis504
    fleurdelis504 Posts: 88
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    Sure they can change...Doesn't mean they'd get a second chance with me. Lose trust, lost it all.

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