Why is it always about fellas?
Sitting here freakishly torn. I got a new job, great benefits, sky is the limit. Nothing should stop me and yet. Isn't it always about guys? Perhaps some sort of lingering daddy issues. I'm considering staying because of my boss whom I adore! We are great together, we have lots of fun, we work very hard. There may have been a little crush here and there but we're both married - we're only co-workers, sometimes friends. I would just miss him so much. Totally irrational.
How is this even in my head? I'm a professional, hard working, adult. Does it always really come down to a man?!
How is this even in my head? I'm a professional, hard working, adult. Does it always really come down to a man?!
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How about it comes down to a pleasant work environment. You are providing 50% of all that, take your credit. And yes, you could end up in an unexpected employment hell & wish you were back there. So, it is worth considering.0
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Nicely put!0
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I'm thinking....great boss....counter offer...0
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I think you should reconsider if possible. Unless the benefits and money is crazy better I don't think it is worth the change. You could end up in an office with a idiot for a boss and no one that will talk to the new girl. You enjoy your job now. You enjoy going in each day. That is something you don't want to lose.0
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I think it may come and this will make my decision even harder.0
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Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.0
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I have been in this (close to this) situation. I gel with a great boss. And believe me, you do not know what you are getting in a new job enviornment from a few interviews. A great counter, and you may be happy ++++0
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I think you should reconsider if possible. Unless the benefits and money is crazy better I don't think it is worth the change. You could end up in an office with a idiot for a boss and no one that will talk to the new girl. You enjoy your job now. You enjoy going in each day. That is something you don't want to lose.
Fair point but: yes - unless there's a counter offer - the benefits are seriously better. There's possibly more prospects in the new place but it's not going to be easy.0 -
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Well, if you are screaming...
Maybe your next boss will be dull and impossible and care zero about your employment success & person. Best wishes.
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could it be new job anxiety, not knowing what to expect etc.
I cant say the current boss thing is right or wrong but for a co-worker/boss to have such an influence over a big decision like this throws up a few red flags. This is a big thing for you and your family, have you discussed it with them? (maybe not let on about the crush stuff)0 -
Cindy4FunFit wrote: »Really?! She isn't doing anything "wrong". Sounds successful & happy.
If she's not taking the best opportunity for her career because she "would just miss him so much", there's already a serious problem. She should do what's right to put her career and her marriage in the best situation for success.0 -
Cindy4FunFit wrote: »I have been in this (close to this) situation. I gel with a great boss. And believe me, you do not know what you are getting in a new job enviornment from a few interviews. A great counter, and you may be happy ++++
This is very true. oh god, I wish it was an easy decision. It's impossible to take out the relationships and other people in general from this type of dilemma!0 -
I think you should reconsider if possible. Unless the benefits and money is crazy better I don't think it is worth the change. You could end up in an office with a idiot for a boss and no one that will talk to the new girl. You enjoy your job now. You enjoy going in each day. That is something you don't want to lose.
Fair point but: yes - unless there's a counter offer - the benefits are seriously better. There's possibly more prospects in the new place but it's not going to be easy.
Sounds like your mind is made up for the most part. Couple of questions though. Will you be happy in the new job? Will the chance for advancement really be there? Money is always good but so is being happy. Also remember they in the interview process are selling themselves to you. They want you soy they know they have to make themselves good in your mind. They have with the compensation. Yet they could be less then truthful in the environment and advancement possibilities.
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I'd take the money.0
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Also consider that the current boss could be manipulating her. It depends on the man, and the relative difference in looks/age, but men in authority can emotionally manipulate a "work wife" to work irrationally hard and stay irrationally loyal.0
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Also consider that the current boss could be manipulating her. It depends on the man, and the relative difference in looks/age, but men in authority can emotionally manipulate a "work wife" to work irrationally hard and stay irrationally loyal.
Wow. I'm giving OP credit that is missing here, faceless MFPer. I'm assuming as a successful PERSON in a field where she is liked and sought after, she may be able to handle herself and her ground. Not sure I would qualify someone's successful relationship at work as a "manipulated wife". Sounds like she has authority in her own rights; despite her role & position on the organization chart.
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You are already wrong from a martial point of view in my opinion. You have allowed yourself to develop such strong feelings for another man that it's impeding your career growth. That's something I think you need to address within yourself. The only reason you're torn is b/c you have feelings for this man. If you're boss was a female and everything else held constant ask yourself would it really be that hard of a decision?0
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PS- guilt trippers: work chemistry is not a crime. (It's not necessarily love or lust).0
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My opinion is your success in anything you do is based on what you put into it. While it may be nice and fun to work with someone you like, it may also be the same reason it holds you back. Unless it's an owner of a business, a boss usually has their own boss. So what would your previous boss think of you ascending and taking his job?
Yes there is also the issue of not knowing who you're working with at your new job, but still exceeding in it would bring notice.
IMO, I have acquaintances at work. I don't party or hang out with them after nor do I invite them to parties with my friends or relatives. Seems harsh? Maybe, but I've been around lots of work environments and don't get caught up in the drama that many of my peers did with one another, then try to get people to take sides.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I slept my way up the corporate ladder. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm now head Janitor. Who's laughing now.
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slideaway1 wrote: »I slept my way up the corporate ladder. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm now head Janitor. Who's laughing now.
did you have to redefine the use of the broom handle?0 -
Mr_Stabbems wrote: »slideaway1 wrote: »I slept my way up the corporate ladder. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm now head Janitor. Who's laughing now.
did you have to redefine the use of the broom handle?
I don't think he Janitors in that way, ifyaknowwhatimean? "Head" janitor.0 -
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Mr_Stabbems wrote: »
Pretty much0 -
My approach to this type of mental puzzle is to let fate decide. I would accept the position and then tell my boss that although I like my present job and the people, I accepted this other job for better pay and opportunity. Then I would see if I got a counter offer. If not, then you have your decision. This approach would but you in a position of greater power in this drama.0
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