Why is it always about fellas?

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grangerka
grangerka Posts: 21 Member
Sitting here freakishly torn. I got a new job, great benefits, sky is the limit. Nothing should stop me and yet. Isn't it always about guys? Perhaps some sort of lingering daddy issues. I'm considering staying because of my boss whom I adore! We are great together, we have lots of fun, we work very hard. There may have been a little crush here and there but we're both married - we're only co-workers, sometimes friends. I would just miss him so much. Totally irrational.

How is this even in my head? I'm a professional, hard working, adult. Does it always really come down to a man?!
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Replies

  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    How about it comes down to a pleasant work environment. You are providing 50% of all that, take your credit. And yes, you could end up in an unexpected employment hell & wish you were back there. So, it is worth considering.
  • grangerka
    grangerka Posts: 21 Member
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    Nicely put!
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    I'm thinking....great boss....counter offer...
  • he280
    he280 Posts: 597 Member
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    I think you should reconsider if possible. Unless the benefits and money is crazy better I don't think it is worth the change. You could end up in an office with a idiot for a boss and no one that will talk to the new girl. You enjoy your job now. You enjoy going in each day. That is something you don't want to lose.
  • grangerka
    grangerka Posts: 21 Member
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    I think it may come and this will make my decision even harder.
  • fitmap73
    fitmap73 Posts: 19 Member
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    Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    I have been in this (close to this) situation. I gel with a great boss. And believe me, you do not know what you are getting in a new job enviornment from a few interviews. A great counter, and you may be happy ++++
  • grangerka
    grangerka Posts: 21 Member
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    he280 wrote: »
    I think you should reconsider if possible. Unless the benefits and money is crazy better I don't think it is worth the change. You could end up in an office with a idiot for a boss and no one that will talk to the new girl. You enjoy your job now. You enjoy going in each day. That is something you don't want to lose.

    Fair point but: yes - unless there's a counter offer - the benefits are seriously better. There's possibly more prospects in the new place but it's not going to be easy.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.

    Really?! She isn't doing anything "wrong". Sounds successful & happy.

  • grangerka
    grangerka Posts: 21 Member
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    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.

    That's what my rational side is telling me to do! screaming even.
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    grangerka wrote: »
    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.

    That's what my rational side is telling me to do! screaming even.

    Well, if you are screaming...

    Maybe your next boss will be dull and impossible and care zero about your employment success & person. Best wishes.

  • Mr_Stabbems
    Mr_Stabbems Posts: 4,773 Member
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    could it be new job anxiety, not knowing what to expect etc.

    I cant say the current boss thing is right or wrong but for a co-worker/boss to have such an influence over a big decision like this throws up a few red flags. This is a big thing for you and your family, have you discussed it with them? (maybe not let on about the crush stuff)
  • fitmap73
    fitmap73 Posts: 19 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Really?! She isn't doing anything "wrong". Sounds successful & happy.

    If she's not taking the best opportunity for her career because she "would just miss him so much", there's already a serious problem. She should do what's right to put her career and her marriage in the best situation for success.
  • grangerka
    grangerka Posts: 21 Member
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    I have been in this (close to this) situation. I gel with a great boss. And believe me, you do not know what you are getting in a new job enviornment from a few interviews. A great counter, and you may be happy ++++

    This is very true. oh god, I wish it was an easy decision. It's impossible to take out the relationships and other people in general from this type of dilemma!
  • he280
    he280 Posts: 597 Member
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    grangerka wrote: »
    he280 wrote: »
    I think you should reconsider if possible. Unless the benefits and money is crazy better I don't think it is worth the change. You could end up in an office with a idiot for a boss and no one that will talk to the new girl. You enjoy your job now. You enjoy going in each day. That is something you don't want to lose.

    Fair point but: yes - unless there's a counter offer - the benefits are seriously better. There's possibly more prospects in the new place but it's not going to be easy.

    Sounds like your mind is made up for the most part. Couple of questions though. Will you be happy in the new job? Will the chance for advancement really be there? Money is always good but so is being happy. Also remember they in the interview process are selling themselves to you. They want you soy they know they have to make themselves good in your mind. They have with the compensation. Yet they could be less then truthful in the environment and advancement possibilities.

  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    I'd take the money.
  • he280
    he280 Posts: 597 Member
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    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.

    Really?! She isn't doing anything "wrong". Sounds successful & happy.

    I agree with Cindy here.

  • fitmap73
    fitmap73 Posts: 19 Member
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    Also consider that the current boss could be manipulating her. It depends on the man, and the relative difference in looks/age, but men in authority can emotionally manipulate a "work wife" to work irrationally hard and stay irrationally loyal.
  • Mr_Stabbems
    Mr_Stabbems Posts: 4,773 Member
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    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Also consider that the current boss could be manipulating her. It depends on the man, and the relative difference in looks/age, but men in authority can emotionally manipulate a "work wife" to work irrationally hard and stay irrationally loyal.

    did you mean PEOPLE in authority?
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Also consider that the current boss could be manipulating her. It depends on the man, and the relative difference in looks/age, but men in authority can emotionally manipulate a "work wife" to work irrationally hard and stay irrationally loyal.

    Wow. I'm giving OP credit that is missing here, faceless MFPer. I'm assuming as a successful PERSON in a field where she is liked and sought after, she may be able to handle herself and her ground. Not sure I would qualify someone's successful relationship at work as a "manipulated wife". Sounds like she has authority in her own rights; despite her role & position on the organization chart.