To put it simply... I feel hopeless sometimes
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mlndjn
Posts: 25 Member
We all see the before and after photos. The photo of someone with their clothes on showing how much weight they've lost. I can't tell you how happy I am for those people. Yet I can't seem to be that person myself. I hadn't weighed myself in awhile - several months. My friend and I decided to try to do this weightloss goal together - exercising and eating better. Yesterday was my first day, and I forgot to weigh myself. Today I was getting dressed and remembered in the middle. I thought to myself, "Ok. Prepare yourself. You've gained weight. But maybe 10-15 at the most. It won't be worse." However, I stepped on the scale only to find out that I had gained closer to 25. My stomach dropped (not on the floor or I wouldn't have to be writing this because it would be gone.) I had let myself go, even though I didn't feel like I had. I mean, I hadn't been watching my food intake, but I never expected that.
Anyway, I mainly wanted to write here because I miss having that support from people. I've been exercising more and trying to eat healthier. But I feel like it will never come. I'm a huge procrastinator - in college, in work, it's not my favorite, but I've been working on it. Weightloss is another thing I put off.
I am insulin resistant, which I know is because of my weight. There's a part of me that feels stuck. It's my choice, I know. Yet it seems so big. Have any of you have huge weight loss goals? What did you do? Did you take it one day at a time? How often do you weigh yourself?
I hate feeling like I am eating nasty food just to lose weight because then I won't do it. I have so many questions. Like how do I walk around my neighborhood without feeling insecure or like everyone is judging me? It's silly, I know...but it holds me back. My friend that is doing this with me, she lives in another state, else we would be doing it together even more, it just doesn't work.
I want to be healthy. I'm a 19 year old girl in college with good friends, good family, and a good job. I feel like being obese really holds me back. I went to Rome last year and I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. I decided to figure out why - it was mainly because I'm overweight. I couldn't walk as much as I wanted. I couldn't dress in my most comfortable clothes because I looked bad in them. The airplane was uncomfortable because my hips disagreed with the seats.
Recently I've noticed being overweight is something people have began to stick up for and be proud of. At first I was like, "Woohoo! That's the spirit." Then I realized being overweight isn't something to be proud of if it means you're unhealthy.
I need support. If you want to be friends, please add me. I need that motivation I can't seem to give myself. I'm not a needy person in general, but for this, I am.
I need that confidence I never had. I have a desk job. I like food (who doesn't?). But it holds me back. Everyone thinks I have confidence because of the way I carry myself, but the mirror (and now scale!) seems to be my enemy.
Anyway, I'm done venting. If you have suggestions, I'll take them. Add me as a friend. Talk to me. I tend to pick up other's motivation - when they're motivated, I get motivated.
Thanks!
Melinda
Anyway, I mainly wanted to write here because I miss having that support from people. I've been exercising more and trying to eat healthier. But I feel like it will never come. I'm a huge procrastinator - in college, in work, it's not my favorite, but I've been working on it. Weightloss is another thing I put off.
I am insulin resistant, which I know is because of my weight. There's a part of me that feels stuck. It's my choice, I know. Yet it seems so big. Have any of you have huge weight loss goals? What did you do? Did you take it one day at a time? How often do you weigh yourself?
I hate feeling like I am eating nasty food just to lose weight because then I won't do it. I have so many questions. Like how do I walk around my neighborhood without feeling insecure or like everyone is judging me? It's silly, I know...but it holds me back. My friend that is doing this with me, she lives in another state, else we would be doing it together even more, it just doesn't work.
I want to be healthy. I'm a 19 year old girl in college with good friends, good family, and a good job. I feel like being obese really holds me back. I went to Rome last year and I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. I decided to figure out why - it was mainly because I'm overweight. I couldn't walk as much as I wanted. I couldn't dress in my most comfortable clothes because I looked bad in them. The airplane was uncomfortable because my hips disagreed with the seats.
Recently I've noticed being overweight is something people have began to stick up for and be proud of. At first I was like, "Woohoo! That's the spirit." Then I realized being overweight isn't something to be proud of if it means you're unhealthy.
I need support. If you want to be friends, please add me. I need that motivation I can't seem to give myself. I'm not a needy person in general, but for this, I am.
I need that confidence I never had. I have a desk job. I like food (who doesn't?). But it holds me back. Everyone thinks I have confidence because of the way I carry myself, but the mirror (and now scale!) seems to be my enemy.
Anyway, I'm done venting. If you have suggestions, I'll take them. Add me as a friend. Talk to me. I tend to pick up other's motivation - when they're motivated, I get motivated.
Thanks!
Melinda
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Replies
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I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling. We've all been there--that moment on the scale where it's just shocking to see the number.
Since you asked for advice, here's what has worked for me to get me started (and restarted after the holidays). I told myself that *all* I had to do was simply log my food. I made no grand plans about cutting anything out. My only initial goal was to log everything I ate. Doing that got the ball rolling and invariably I got motivated to make the necessary changes.
Good luck to you. You CAN lose weight and it sounds like you want to, so best of luck as you start your journey!
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If you don't mind, I'll chat with you here rather than as a friend. I'm a rather spotty MFP friend. Think of me as a jet-setting auntie who shows up once in a while to give you some cheery support.
You have a lot of years ahead of you to figure out how to motivate yourself, so it's a little early to declare yourself a failure. I find you have really good insight. Here's a few tips.- Treat each day, each week as a new project. Set a single goal for that day/week, and re-evaluate at the end. Did it work? Keep doing it. Did you miss the target? Why? Troubleshoot the reasons and readjust your goal.
- Give yourself behavior goals rather than weight goals; things that are entirely under your control.
- This goal-setting method takes the whole weight loss game out of the emotional spiral we can get caught up in.
- Don't eat any nasty food. All food is lovely; learn to read labels and measure portion sizes. Use the power of MFP to stay within your calorie goal.
Just this week I had insight (and I'm in my fifties, still getting insight) that I most want to lose weight when I stand in front of the mirror or when I am getting dressed. But the time to care about my weight is in the kitchen. My hedonist self, by the time I hit the kitchen, is much more interesting in satisfying a hunger than in reaching a particular size. It's integrating these desires that is key, remembering my long-term goal when short-term desires are calling my name.0 -
Hey I just read your post and I will totally be your friend because I need the accountability too. I find that the best motivator for me to stay in a deficit for calories is actually reminding myself that I want other people to see that I was under my calorie intake goal when I complete my log. Silly some might say, but whatever works is fantastic.0
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I sent you a friend request I'm 20 years old and can barely stand the thought of myself. I've packed on fifty pounds and feel if no one understands what I'm going through.0
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there are those that say don't weigh daily. I say it is what it is. Its data, the more data the better. The same fluctuations that occur daily will still happen weekly or on the day you weigh. Go at this like you are on a mission that nobody can stop. Log all calories, be honest and if unsure guess high on what you eat and low on what you burn. Don't starve, this is a new lifestyle not a diet. It is the deficit and staying with it that counts. I use a aria scale from fit bit. I get on it first thing in the morning and it logs my weight for me. Sometimes it goes up and most of the time it goes down. Look for trends and what effects them. You want slow steady progress. Do this, you will be so glad you did.0
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I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling. We've all been there--that moment on the scale where it's just shocking to see the number.
Since you asked for advice, here's what has worked for me to get me started (and restarted after the holidays). I told myself that *all* I had to do was simply log my food. I made no grand plans about cutting anything out. My only initial goal was to log everything I ate. Doing that got the ball rolling and invariably I got motivated to make the necessary changes.
Good luck to you. You CAN lose weight and it sounds like you want to, so best of luck as you start your journey!
I love your idea. Because then it doesn't seem like you CAN'T eat what you want, but if you do...it's going to show and keeps you aware.
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If you don't mind, I'll chat with you here rather than as a friend. I'm a rather spotty MFP friend. Think of me as a jet-setting auntie who shows up once in a while to give you some cheery support.
You have a lot of years ahead of you to figure out how to motivate yourself, so it's a little early to declare yourself a failure. I find you have really good insight. Here's a few tips.- Treat each day, each week as a new project. Set a single goal for that day/week, and re-evaluate at the end. Did it work? Keep doing it. Did you miss the target? Why? Troubleshoot the reasons and readjust your goal.
- Give yourself behavior goals rather than weight goals; things that are entirely under your control.
- This goal-setting method takes the whole weight loss game out of the emotional spiral we can get caught up in.
- Don't eat any nasty food. All food is lovely; learn to read labels and measure portion sizes. Use the power of MFP to stay within your calorie goal.
Just this week I had insight (and I'm in my fifties, still getting insight) that I most want to lose weight when I stand in front of the mirror or when I am getting dressed. But the time to care about my weight is in the kitchen. My hedonist self, by the time I hit the kitchen, is much more interesting in satisfying a hunger than in reaching a particular size. It's integrating these desires that is key, remembering my long-term goal when short-term desires are calling my name.
I definitely love the weekly goal rather than a yearly goal - it makes it a lot more doable. Great advice, thank you!0 -
there are those that say don't weigh daily. I say it is what it is. Its data, the more data the better. The same fluctuations that occur daily will still happen weekly or on the day you weigh. Go at this like you are on a mission that nobody can stop. Log all calories, be honest and if unsure guess high on what you eat and low on what you burn. Don't starve, this is a new lifestyle not a diet. It is the deficit and staying with it that counts. I use a aria scale from fit bit. I get on it first thing in the morning and it logs my weight for me. Sometimes it goes up and most of the time it goes down. Look for trends and what effects them. You want slow steady progress. Do this, you will be so glad you did.
I think getting Aria will be great for me. If I'm going to spend over $100 on something...I'm going to use it. Plus I have a fitbit, which will make things great. Thank you!0 -
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Kathryn97Perry wrote: »Hey I just read your post and I will totally be your friend because I need the accountability too. I find that the best motivator for me to stay in a deficit for calories is actually reminding myself that I want other people to see that I was under my calorie intake goal when I complete my log. Silly some might say, but whatever works is fantastic.
That's great! I'm glad we can be friends on here. Accountability is something I definitely lack right now!0 -
I got my Fit Bit Force and the Aria scale the same week in late 2013. I have used both daily ever since. Cholesterol went down 50 points, insomnia went away, I don't snore anymore, got in shape, eat so much better food now. There is a whole new world waiting for you and it has many benefits too.0
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I got my Fit Bit Force and the Aria scale the same week in late 2013. I have used both daily ever since. Cholesterol went down 50 points, insomnia went away, I don't snore anymore, got in shape, eat so much better food now. There is a whole new world waiting for you and it has many benefits too.
THAT is amazing. I got the FitBit Flex last year, yet went through a time where I rarely used it because it needed charged or I just wasn't walking a lot and didn't want to be reminded at that time. I've been thinking about buying a FitBit Charge HR just to have the heartrate and watch on it. Sometimes buying things like that motivate me more. Is that strange? Haha.
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Sent you a request! I totally understand how hard losing weight in college can me. I'm 22 and graduated around 6 months ago-- and now I'm down 40 pounds. Feel free to accept me and we can encourage each other!0
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I got my Fit Bit Force and the Aria scale the same week in late 2013. I have used both daily ever since. Cholesterol went down 50 points, insomnia went away, I don't snore anymore, got in shape, eat so much better food now. There is a whole new world waiting for you and it has many benefits too.
THAT is amazing. I got the FitBit Flex last year, yet went through a time where I rarely used it because it needed charged or I just wasn't walking a lot and didn't want to be reminded at that time. I've been thinking about buying a FitBit Charge HR just to have the heartrate and watch on it. Sometimes buying things like that motivate me more. Is that strange? Haha.
Hardly strange. And knowing what motivates you is powerful.
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My philosophy is all about balance, balance your diet, by stickling to your caloric allotment here on MFP. balance your life by making sure you spend equal time working, and playing, and by playing I mean finding physical activities that you enjoy and that will require a commitment by you to get out and do it.. or at the very least drop a dvd into the machine and getting busy with an exercise DVD... and balance yourself emotionally by understanding that NO ONE looks at you with the same critical eye you cast upon yourself. I see your picture and I see a beautiful young woman with a world filled with possibilities. Learn to forgive yourself and to move forward, you only fail when you STOP, so NEVER stop and you will find success...THINK about your effort in the context of a lifelong ambition, that will require vigilance for your entire life. Sounds a little overwhelming... BUT Newton's law applies... a body in motion will tend to stay in motion... cryptic I know.. BUT in essence... as you transition from your current lifestyle and imbalance... to a more completely balanced lifestyle you will find yourself seeking MORE opportunities to expand and increase your new found physical abilities... you will be stronger, happier, MORE active... and as you travel the path... you won't feel so overwhelmed... you will look back on these first days... weeks, months... and for some years... and wonder... WHY it took so long to get it... SO... be patient... changing your habits... and your activity level is going to take time... BUT as long as you remain focussed... and forgive yourself each time you think you have let yourself down, YOU will succeed...
I accept all friend requests... all I ask is that you remain committed to yourself... and to log in regularly...
I would wish you l;uck... BUT "this" doesn't take luck... it takes hard work and dedication.. so I wish you all the best in your efforts...Welcome to your new world0 -
You are totally on the right track! There are days I have felt hopeless too. I've been trying to lose weight my whole adult life... I think what finally helped me stop gaining weight about three years ago was the realization that I needed to change my eating habits for life, not just think of this as being on a diet. Be kind to yourself, make one change at a time, and then those will become habits over time. It is better to lose slowly the right way then try a "miracle diet" but not fix the underlying problem.
It is really helpful to write down all of the reasons you are looking to lose (confidence, new wardrobe, anything!) and keep it somewhere you can access easily when you are having a hard day. I also like putting up inspirational quotes
I'm always looking for more MFP friends, so I'll add you now! You've got this! 0 -
Take it slow - go for that walk. Pretty much no one is going to even give you a second thought. If you are really insecure and have some room in your house/apartment you can check out Youtube for exercise videos. I am a huge fan of FitnessBlender and you don't need much floor space to follow their videos, plus they are all free.
Don't necessarily restrict your calories at first if it seems overwhelming. When I started I decided to just log everything I ate and to walk 20-30 minutes 3x a week. I felt so much better so fast that I increased both my activity and started trying to stay in my calorie allowance. I did eat pretty much all of my exercise calories in the beginning, I use a Fitbit, and lost at a good clip.
Don't give yourself a hard time if you mess up one day. Log it and move on! Don't get discouraged if the scale doesn't move for awhile, weight loss isn't linear and as long as you are accurate as possible with your logging the scale will catch up
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deannaaaaaaaaa wrote: »Sent you a request! I totally understand how hard losing weight in college can me. I'm 22 and graduated around 6 months ago-- and now I'm down 40 pounds. Feel free to accept me and we can encourage each other!
Congratulations! I can't wait to say that for myself. 0 -
KatieK1146 wrote: »You are totally on the right track! There are days I have felt hopeless too. I've been trying to lose weight my whole adult life... I think what finally helped me stop gaining weight about three years ago was the realization that I needed to change my eating habits for life, not just think of this as being on a diet. Be kind to yourself, make one change at a time, and then those will become habits over time. It is better to lose slowly the right way then try a "miracle diet" but not fix the underlying problem.
It is really helpful to write down all of the reasons you are looking to lose (confidence, new wardrobe, anything!) and keep it somewhere you can access easily when you are having a hard day. I also like putting up inspirational quotes
I'm always looking for more MFP friends, so I'll add you now! You've got this!
I've definitely always went through those times when I get motivated to lose and then I just...give up. In 2012, I had looked up how long it would take me to lose (obviously give or take some times when we slip up) and it said February 2014. Now it's 2015 and here I am again. I just don't want that to happen again.
Thanks for the advice!
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Some great advice above. I also love the your request for what my circle of friends call "accountability partners".
I find that tools like the Fitbit and MyFitnessPal help build awareness. I've had good luck so far with simply growing awareness of what, and how much I eat, along with how little exercise I get. Now I'm trying to be more thoughtful and plan out what I'm going to eat and when I'm going to work out. I don't want to eat miserable food, either.0
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