To put it simply... I feel hopeless sometimes
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CarlSetzer wrote: »Some great advice above. I also love the your request for what my circle of friends call "accountability partners".
I find that tools like the Fitbit and MyFitnessPal help build awareness. I've had good luck so far with simply growing awareness of what, and how much I eat, along with how little exercise I get. Now I'm trying to be more thoughtful and plan out what I'm going to eat and when I'm going to work out. I don't want to eat miserable food, either.
Definitely! I've learned more in the past hour than I have in the past year.
Awareness is the key, but it can be difficult. I know for me, sometimes I just didn't want to be aware of my weight or what I was eating - it seemed easier. But obviously it always comes back at us and can really make a life changing experience for the worst.0 -
I was 236 lbs in Dec before I started here on MFP. When only 4 yrs prior I was a healthy 145. I had had enough and I hated letting myself get so fat. I brought a Fitbit, joined MFP, brought a food scale and took my measurement and on Jan 5th I started my journey. I would walk around my office for 1/2 during my lunch break. Then I'd go home and walk in place as I watched tv, I was determined to make my 10,000 steps a day. I logged everything I put in my mouth, everything. I weighed myself every morning after the bathroom and before eating or drinking anything and logged in my weight on Libra phone app to follow my weight trend. I reminded myself every single day, "ONE DAY AT A TIME", I put stickies everywhere with that quote. It took me months, years to put on the weight and it was going to take me months to take it off. The scale finally started to move, even though I still looked the same. It wasnt until 3 months later than I finally came down a pant size and someone noticed I had lost some weight. I had to learn how to deal with weight fluctuations and learn major patience and self love. Fast forward 6 months later, I have lost 46 lbs gone down from a size 16 to a 12 pants, xxl to m/L shirt. The determination and perseverance is paying off. I still have weight to lose and there are still days I feel fat and I look in the mirror and see myself fat but my clothes fit nicely, I get compliments, guys want to date me, I dont get winded, and I'm off my High blood pressure meds. I feel great! I havent been as active with working out as I was at the beginning and I am just concentrating on my caloric deficit to lose the remaining weight but eventually I want to start lifting. If you want it bad enough you will do it. If you are sick of being overweight you will find the strength and motivation to finally do it. You can do it. Starting is always hard and you do will get impatient especially wanting to see immediate results but if you just stick to it, thru good and bad days you will reap the excellent benefits and see results.
Good luck on your journey and feel free to add me.0 -
Everyone here had great advice - just wanted to add in regards to walking your neighborhood without feeling self conscious:
1. Do you have a car? Maybe you can drive to a nearby park or track where other people are walking so you blend in with the crowd more?
2. Trust me most people are concerned with themselves, what's going on in their life, their own insecurities, etc., and no matter where you walk they won't be giving you a second thought.
3. Stick your earbuds in when you walk! Listen to your favorite music, find a great podcast, get an app with guided walking meditations, anything to distract you from yourself - the time will fly by!
Another thought I have on motivation - doing healthy things today makes you feel good today! No need to punish yourself for some long off delayed gratification. At the end of a day where you drank enough water, moved your body, and made a couple healthy food choices you should feel some/all of the following: less headachy, less indigestion, less body aches (trust me gentle exercise and stretching is just like a good massage), proud of yourself.... The list goes on! Revel in these great benefits of being good to yourself. Forget about the end goal and watch how it sneaks up on you when you're not even looking!
Last but not least, as someone said above - be kind to yourself!
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I got the FitBit Flex last year, yet went through a time where I rarely used it because it needed charged or I just wasn't walking a lot and didn't want to be reminded at that time. I've been thinking about buying a FitBit Charge HR just to have the heartrate and watch on it. Sometimes buying things like that motivate me more. Is that strange? Haha.
Get some friends in the Fitbit Users group and do Fitbit challenges. They're great motivation—and fun: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/1290-fitbit-users0 -
You're very brave for putting yourself out here like you did. No wonder people think you're confident.
You got some great advice and encouragement, but I don't see much tough love, and it really sounds like you need some of that.
I completely understand not wanting to eat a bunch of low fat garbage and not wanting to deal with the emotions associated with being unhappy with your weight. However, no amount of positive encouragement is going to help you lose a pound unless you have a serious heart-to-heart with yourself about the work you need to put in. And equating healthy with nasty is a great excuse to keep eating food that's no good for you, but it's definitely not going to help you lose any weight.
It may sound harsh, but it sounds like you need to face reality here and force yourself to be responsible for yourself. Someone from MFP won't be there for the dozens of decisions you make every day about what to put into your mouth. It's great to have people to hold you accountable, but they should be there more so as emergency aid rather than a daily check in system.
You also mentioned some tech stuff, which is cool, but you should be cautious that you don't get wrapped up in thinking that buying that stuff is going to make or break your goals. I'm not a big fan of buying tech in the hopes of it motivating you because that's, again, an extrinsic factor that's only as powerful as how you go about using it. I've had the FitBit and Nike FuelBand and did exactly what you did. When I was feeling like going on runs every day, I loved seeing the little graphs of how well I was doing. When I didn't feel like working out, I let the tech die and didn't recharge it for days. Why not spend that money on getting a personal trainer, or something that's really going to require you to be active rather than to track what you do, which you can do on here without the tech.
Perhaps a good way for you to start building momentum is to set small goals for you. I started getting active again by downloading the C25K app and signing up for a 5K. The app paced my running, so that I'd gradually do longer and harder runs, and the 5K sign up gives me a hard deadline for getting in shape that I won't avoid because I made a financial commitment. If running isn't your thing, there are all kinds of other apps out there that can help you do the same thing. For example, Runtastic has a squats app, abs app, and so on. They all gradually increase the difficulty and amount of exercises you do and they keep track of your progress, which will give you that visual motivation that the fitbit gives you.
Good luck!
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editorgrrl wrote: »I got the FitBit Flex last year, yet went through a time where I rarely used it because it needed charged or I just wasn't walking a lot and didn't want to be reminded at that time. I've been thinking about buying a FitBit Charge HR just to have the heartrate and watch on it. Sometimes buying things like that motivate me more. Is that strange? Haha.
Get some friends in the Fitbit Users group and do Fitbit challenges. They're great motivation—and fun: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/1290-fitbit-users
Thank you for this! Just joined!0 -
You're very brave for putting yourself out here like you did. No wonder people think you're confident.
You got some great advice and encouragement, but I don't see much tough love, and it really sounds like you need some of that.
I completely understand not wanting to eat a bunch of low fat garbage and not wanting to deal with the emotions associated with being unhappy with your weight. However, no amount of positive encouragement is going to help you lose a pound unless you have a serious heart-to-heart with yourself about the work you need to put in. And equating healthy with nasty is a great excuse to keep eating food that's no good for you, but it's definitely not going to help you lose any weight.
It may sound harsh, but it sounds like you need to face reality here and force yourself to be responsible for yourself. Someone from MFP won't be there for the dozens of decisions you make every day about what to put into your mouth. It's great to have people to hold you accountable, but they should be there more so as emergency aid rather than a daily check in system.
You also mentioned some tech stuff, which is cool, but you should be cautious that you don't get wrapped up in thinking that buying that stuff is going to make or break your goals. I'm not a big fan of buying tech in the hopes of it motivating you because that's, again, an extrinsic factor that's only as powerful as how you go about using it. I've had the FitBit and Nike FuelBand and did exactly what you did. When I was feeling like going on runs every day, I loved seeing the little graphs of how well I was doing. When I didn't feel like working out, I let the tech die and didn't recharge it for days. Why not spend that money on getting a personal trainer, or something that's really going to require you to be active rather than to track what you do, which you can do on here without the tech.
Perhaps a good way for you to start building momentum is to set small goals for you. I started getting active again by downloading the C25K app and signing up for a 5K. The app paced my running, so that I'd gradually do longer and harder runs, and the 5K sign up gives me a hard deadline for getting in shape that I won't avoid because I made a financial commitment. If running isn't your thing, there are all kinds of other apps out there that can help you do the same thing. For example, Runtastic has a squats app, abs app, and so on. They all gradually increase the difficulty and amount of exercises you do and they keep track of your progress, which will give you that visual motivation that the fitbit gives you.
Good luck!
I appreciate your "tough love." Not many people feel they can do that without coming across as rude and inconsiderate.
You made some excellent points, that I definitely agree with. In fact, I have received encouragement in the past and even had heart-to-heart talks with myself, yet here I am. My intention on this post was just for suggestions and support because there are definitely times I feel I could not get that motivation needed to complete my exercise or eating healthy that day. If there's a piece of pie I can quickly write, "Help. There's pie. What do I do?" and no one ever fails to help - which is another reason I happen to love MFP.
Like I mentioned in my post, I do tend to get my motivation from other people around me, which is helpful in the long run. And while MFP won't be there all day, every day, luckily I have gained a tremendous amount of support and friends from this post that are in the exact same place as me, which is pretty cool.
I would never replace any costly thing for my own ability to get motivated. However, I truly believe we all find joy in certain things. For others it is buying a new work out outfit, for others it is simply just being able to put on the pants or skirt that didn't fit before. My FitBit this past week has been a great help because it gives me that extra boost for 10,000 steps. And now, if the battery is low, I charge it. Because then it becomes a personal choice and it proves how much this means to me. Even in my job, buying a new pad of paper can be a huge bright light for me and gets me motivated. Strange? Maybe. But hey - if it works and I'm not wasting away cash for nothing, it doesn't bug me. As for the personal trainer...eh, not really ready for that.
I've had C25K apps and I was never feeling ready for them. I think they were more meant for light walker instead of couch, because I couldn't even do the whole thing the first day. So, I'm walking. Every day? Nope. My goal is three times a week.
Again, thank you for your comment! You made good points. I just wanted to share some of my reasoning instead of it coming across differently than I intended. The one thing I have learned from this post is that different things work for different people, which I'm sure it obvious. Tough love may work on some, but maybe not so much on me right now.
Good luck to you, too!0 -
You'll do whatever you're most comfortable with, but from this side of the pond, the reasons sound like excuses.0
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Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, quit.
or
Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, win.
What do you pick? This *kitten* isn't easy. If it were this site wouldn't exist. You will fail so many times. Keep failing until you succeed.0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, quit.
or
Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, win.
What do you pick? This *kitten* isn't easy. If it were this site wouldn't exist. You will fail so many times. Keep failing until you succeed.
noice..
OP I understand what you're going through. I like your positive attitude, that's more than half the battle already won. I'll add you
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I've been around the weight loss block a few times with varying degrees of success in the past. My current journey is the most successful so far which is great. I've managed to shift nearly 30 kg from my 5'6" frame and still have another 5 kg to go. The important thing is to keep going no matter what. Keep going when the scales have a win for you and keep going when they don't. Try not to let a plateau get you down. They will happen at some point and they can be incredibly frustrating times but, they are a necessary part of the journey. So, don't use it as an excuse to give up. Just change things up until you bust through it.
This time around I've stuck to real food and measured out my portion sizes with scales or measuring cups/spoons. I'm not a fan of 'diet' food either as it sometimes has a strange after taste or it's loaded with sugar. You can still have the full fat versions of milk, cheese, yoghurt as long as you're mindful of how much you're having. Stretch yourself with exercise but, be kind to yourself. It's no good going out hard and coming home with an injury. Stick to walking if that's easy and start increasing the intensity or duration until you get better at it. Then, increase the other. These are all things that have helped me get to where I'm at. Hope they help you too.0 -
The good thing is, you're young. It's a bit easier (but still WORK) to lose weight when you're that age. Here are my top tips, and I know they work. It's STICKING TO IT that's difficult! haha
Log everything, EVERYTHING
Prep meals
Ignore the naysayers
Remember to not buy trigger foods
Prepare all your food (one day a week, not too hard)
Remember that good food is providing fuel for your body, and bad food is just harming you
It takes about five days to get over the cravings. That's all. You can do this! Defeating yourself is the hardest part, but if you switch your mindset so that nutritious food and exercise is NOT punishment and junk plus being lazy is the real punishment, you will have jumped the first hurdle. It's so awesome that you are at just the start of a long, and hopefully healthy, adult life. It's also amazing that you posted here! So brave! Good luck in your journey, and every time you hear that little voice telling you to eat junk or that you can't do it, punch it in its GD face! x
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And for real, this is motivating as hell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyhOmBPtGNM0
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Hi there feel free to send me a request. What worked for me was strictly thinking about my health and body. Forget about weight loss and the scale. Just think about your body, the only place you live in and what is all yours and a work of art God made. Now all the bad foods out there think how disgusting they are made, how fake and how much types of cancers they cause.
Also realize that exercise cures a lot of stress and gives you confidence, forget about the weight loss, it just makes you feel REALLY good for some reason. Make your place spotless every day or go to the gym and find exercise you like. Again think how easy it is just by eating natural foods vegetables, nuts, Fruits that helps cure serious diseases out there.
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I went from morbidly obese (BMI of 40) to slighly overweight (BMI of 27) in 1.5 years a few years ago, and have been maintaining ever since (now lost/losing some more vanity pounds). I would definitely advise just taking it step by step.
Get a food scale if you don't have one. Try to cook as many of your own meals as possible and weigh everything you put in your mouth, including oils, condiments, nut butters etc.. Cups and spoons are rather inaccurate for everything but liquids. Make that your first step: Honestly and accurately logging everything.
Reduce your portion sizes gradually. You can of course change your diet as well but it's not necessary for weight loss—all you need for that is to eat less than your body burns. Make it a goal to meet your MFP calorie goal but don't spiral into negative thinking (or out of control) if you eat too much one day. You could even start by setting MFP to maintain and then simply strive to come in below that (it's an approach that works well for me). A 500 calorie deficit per day will result in a loss of about 1 lb per week on average. That doesn't mean you'll lose a pound week in week out even if you stay at a perfect 500 deficit every day because weight loss will never be linear or even predictable like that—don't get discouraged by that. But over the course of a few weeks and months, you will see a downward trend. Link your FitBit to MFP and log your non-step based exercise on FitBit to get your MFP goal adjusted. Exercise isn't necessary for weight loss but try to find some form of movement that you enjoy—it provides a bunch of physical and mental benefits that can help a lot on your journey to weight loss and especially better health.
Successful weight loss is as much about mindset as it is about diet and exercise. Don't assign moral labels to food. It's just food, it' not good or bad, clean or dirty. A healthy diet doesn't hinge on one food item or one meal (unless you have food allergies/intolerances obviously), it's a matter of context and overall balance. I still love food, possibly even more than when I was obese because I enjoy it much more consciously now. In fact, I'm typing this while eating a (heavenly) brownie cake with buttercream (leftover birthday cake). I never cut out anything from my diet, I just reduced portion sizes and frequency of eating calorically dense foods. Yes, you can still eat chocolate/cake/ice cream/whatever you love as long as it fits in your goals. You can even make a conscious decision every now and then that a special occasion is worth going slightly beyond your goals. Just don't do it too often and get back to meeting your goals the next day. You can definitely do this!0 -
How many calories is your account set to eat per day?0
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I have received encouragement in the past and even had heart-to-heart talks with myself, yet here I am. My intention on this post was just for suggestions and support because there are definitely times I feel I could not get that motivation needed to complete my exercise or eating healthy that day.
Like I mentioned in my post, I do tend to get my motivation from other people around me, which is helpful in the long run.
You made good points. I just wanted to share some of my reasoning instead of it coming across differently than I intended. The one thing I have learned from this post is that different things work for different people, which I'm sure it obvious. Tough love may work on some, but maybe not so much on me right now.
Good luck to you, too!
Firstly, I flove your attitude—you're respectfully listening to what everyone has to say, and taking what you can use. And you're absolutely right—everyone is different. So it'll take trial & error to find what works for you.
Here's something that's worked for me. It was my 2014 new year's resolution, and has helped in so many aspects of my life: Talk to yourself at least as kindly as you would to any of your MFP friends. No negative self talk. It may sound naff (cheesy), and it was way harder than it sounds. But like anything else it got easier the more I did it.
I hesitate to call it "one weird trick," but it really is! Treat yourself like an MFP friend. Celebrate every NSV (non-scale victory).0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, quit.
or
Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, win.
What do you pick? This *kitten* isn't easy. If it were this site wouldn't exist. You will fail so many times. Keep failing until you succeed.
That's a great point. If it was easy, we wouldn't have hundreds of sites on the Internet. I like your way of thinking!
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LadyLots2Lose wrote: »I've been around the weight loss block a few times with varying degrees of success in the past. My current journey is the most successful so far which is great. I've managed to shift nearly 30 kg from my 5'6" frame and still have another 5 kg to go. The important thing is to keep going no matter what. Keep going when the scales have a win for you and keep going when they don't. Try not to let a plateau get you down. They will happen at some point and they can be incredibly frustrating times but, they are a necessary part of the journey. So, don't use it as an excuse to give up. Just change things up until you bust through it.
This time around I've stuck to real food and measured out my portion sizes with scales or measuring cups/spoons. I'm not a fan of 'diet' food either as it sometimes has a strange after taste or it's loaded with sugar. You can still have the full fat versions of milk, cheese, yoghurt as long as you're mindful of how much you're having. Stretch yourself with exercise but, be kind to yourself. It's no good going out hard and coming home with an injury. Stick to walking if that's easy and start increasing the intensity or duration until you get better at it. Then, increase the other. These are all things that have helped me get to where I'm at. Hope they help you too.
You get me - and I appreciate that. I keep telling myself "baby steps" and that seems to get me farther than I knew. Thank you for the advice!
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It will be okay. You have decided that enough is enough and that is the push that people need to really initiate some change. I like to post motivational stuff on MFP and my personal facebook because I've been discouraged myself but if I can brighten someone else's day, it helps me feel better as well.0
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