Anyone else adopted?

wintersyve

My word I am so happy I came across this thread. I am going through the process of applying to be an adoptive parent and reading this has been amazing. Hearing the viewpoint of the adoptive child. It gives me an extra insight I never had before and to be honest it's made me quite emotional (in a good way)

theawill519

That's so cool! I'm glad it spoke to you and good luck with your journey! I know there are some pretty big hoops to jump through in the adoption process, but in my (somewhat biased ) opinion, the outcome is so much more than worth it. I'm so thankful to my birth mother for having the courage and wisdom to give me up, and I'm even more thankful to my amazing parents- they were truly meant for me, and I for them.

wintersyve

^^^ this here is so amazing. I know my husband and I are doing the right thing for us and hope that we can make a difference. And from what I have read here, it gives me so much encouragement xx thank you all for sharing

VegasFit

Thea519 wrote: »

I was adopted when I was 3 months old and I know nothing about my birth parents. I see a lot of people are motived by heart disease or diabetes running in their family. It's scary to not know what runs in my family. It's also kind of freeing in a weird way. Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat and how they feel about it.

I totally agree with this. If I had the same medical history as my adoptive parent's medical history I would be a hot mess! But the only time I think it would be kind of nice to know is when I fill out medical paperwork and just put a line through the history portions. I discovered in the last couple years I have blood pressure issues but the doctor says it must be genetic because otherwise I am healthy. Not knowing my history I did start mammos before the recommended age just to be on the safe side.

elphie754 wrote: »

Also adopted from birth here, my adoptive parents were actually in the delivery room. It was a closed adoption so other than what is on the legal documents I know nothing.

This is where I differ from most of you and this may come across as insensitive but I have never wanted more details or had any desire to reach out to birth parents. In my eyes- they didn't want me, while my adoptive family did. I usually don't even refer to my family/parents as "adoptive family" bs "birth parents" because I honestly don't care if my mom delivered me or not. This is my family and always will be. They are absolutely wonderful and I am grateful to be with them. I couldn't care less about some woman I don't know.

This. I've never had a desire to seek out my birth parents. My family never gave me a reason to. I'm not judging anyone that has that desire, it was just something I was never interested in. I remember having children's books about being adopted and how special I was. Still have them. And I've always felt thankful that someone made a decision to give me a better life than they thought they could and I would never want to disrupt theirs. But I've also felt that if they sought me out I would love to meet them and thank them but not sure I would ever want an ongoing relationship with them.

VegasFit

Thea519 wrote: »

kshama2001 wrote: »

My fiance is adopted and met his birth mother and half brother when he was in his 40s. He's glad he did satisfy this curiosity, but doesn't feel any need to keep in touch. He didn't tell his adoptive parents that he did this.

That's awesome. I think if I ever did meet them, that's how I would feel. How did he keep that from his parents?! I don't think I could do that. I wouldn't want to hurt them, but we're so close, I literally don't think I could NOT tell them.

My cousin located her adoptive parents and I think it would have been best if she had kept it a secret but I understood her excitement in wanting to share with her birth father but I know that it has hurt him a lot having to witness that relationship. That would be hard either way I think

Azurite27

I was adopted at birth and only know at that time my birth parents had no family history of major medical issues. I've never really felt the need to find my birth parents. My birth mother starved herself to hide her pregnancy for 8 months and I blame this for lots of my medical issues so no desire to meet someone who did that to me.

kk_inprogress

I was adopted at 6 weeks old, closed adoption. I adore my family, and they are the most wonderful people I can imagine. I found my birth mother when I was 22 and petitioned the state for my medical records. I've met some of my birth family, but honestly, it was hard because there were a lot of things I found out that i was glad I didn't have to grow up with. We don't keep in touch much, except...

I met my half sister and we both agreed that we've always wanted a sister and were sad we didn't have that opportunity. It was incredible meeting someone so much like me and having a big sister has been wonderful. I stood up in her wedding this past spring!

maggiemay530

kshama2001 wrote: »

Thea519 wrote: »

elphie754 wrote: »

Also adopted from birth here, my adoptive parents were actually in the delivery room. It was a closed adoption so other than what is on the legal documents I know nothing.

This is where I differ from most of you and this may come across as insensitive but I have never wanted more details or had any desire to reach out to birth parents. In my eyes- they didn't want me, while my adoptive family did. I usually don't even refer to my family/parents as "adoptive family" bs "birth parents" because I honestly don't care if my mom delivered me or not. This is my family and always will be. They are absolutely wonderful and I am grateful to be with them. I couldn't care less about some woman I don't know.

I don't think you're insensitive. You just have a different way of looking at it. I can definitely empathize with the part about not caring if your mom actually delivered you or not. I'm the same way. I've never in my life referred to my parents as my "adoptive parents" unless I was trying to distinguish between them and my "birth parents" in a conversation specifically about my adoption. They are my family and nothing will ever change that.

Ya, my fiance is the same way as the bolded.

And that's me, too... I'm a mom... "adoptive mom" only due to necessity of topic. I'm so glad and grateful to hear some beautiful stories!

Yes, Elphie754... agree with Thea519... You don't sound insensitive in the least...

Your quote, "I usually don't even refer to my family/parents as "adoptive family" bs "birth parents" because I honestly don't care if my mom delivered me or not. This is my family and always will be. They are absolutely wonderful and I am grateful to be with them." You sound like a loving and loyal child to some wonderful parents.

mygrl4meee

I am not adopted but I did place a baby girl for adoption when I was 15. I reunited with her when she turned 19 years old. She had access to all of my family history..

azulvioleta6

Have any of you considered doing the DNA test through ancestry.com? There's a pretty good likelihood that you could find distant relatives that way.

There are also DNA tests that can tell you about ethnic origins and some genetic predispositions. 23 and Me is another company that does this.

maggiemay530

mygrl4meee wrote: »

I am not adopted but I did place a baby girl for adoption when I was 15. I reunited with her when she turned 19 years old. She had access to all of my family history..

Thanks for sharing this... again, if not for people making this choice I would never have been a mother to the most wonderful kids on the planet! People used to say how wonderful my husband and I were to have adopted like we were trying to save the world... No way. We simply wanted a family and adoption is just that...another way. We were the ones blessed beyond measure!