SO, when does the self confidence come?

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bighey75
bighey75 Posts: 6 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Over the last 10 months I've dropped 90lbs (5'10" 255lbs to 165lbs) though diet and regular exercise. I read a bunch of posts where people say they gain a ton of confidence. I, for whatever reason - have none. Don't get me wrong, I physically feel a ton better, I just don't have the overall confidence that others seem to gain along the way in the journey to being healthy.
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Replies

  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    If you had confidence, what would you be doing differently?
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    I didn't really have to gain confidence. I'm confident that in confident enough. :)

    I do get treated better by strangers, though.
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    Honestly, I had more confidence when I was heavier. I think it may have been because I wasn't overly concerned with my size and looks and now I am more so concerned and never satisfied.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Maybe your brain has not caught up with your new look. Congrats on the weight loss, however!!
  • Sirius_12
    Sirius_12 Posts: 54 Member
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    Confidentially speaking...sometimes the confidence comes by giving others confidence. How about posting your success story in that forum? The feedback you will get may help. I for one congratulate you.
  • boogiewookie
    boogiewookie Posts: 206 Member
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    I can't answer that bc I've only lost 24lbs and am still so self conscious. I just wanted to say congrats on the weight loss!! That's amazing, I hope you can learn to be proud and confident in your new (and much smaller) body :-)
  • DuckReconMajor
    DuckReconMajor Posts: 434 Member
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    It's going to be different for every person and is still heavily reliant on factors outside of the weight loss itself.

    Working on the way that you think about yourself will go a long way. Parts of it will just "happen", other parts you'll need to catch yourself when you start to think self-deprecating thoughts.
  • fittestpal
    fittestpal Posts: 94 Member
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    You have to stop and think a minute.. where would you be if you did nothing at all? only when you love yourself and realize how far you've come will you gain self confidence. sometimes we get caught up in the daily grind that its hard to see the big picture. you have to take time to reflect on your accomplishments and whatever you do don't compare yourself to other people.. there is always gonna be someone stronger, skinner, faster, etc. love who you are and own that *kitten* everyday
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
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    I think that confidence comes from somewhere else not related to weight loss. It can most certainly help but I was at my most self confident at my heaviest. Actually that's not true, my self esteem is at a plateau but I became most at peace with myself at my biggest. Self acceptance is hard and takes work, much harder than getting the number on the scale to come down I think.

    Posting in the successes is good advice and it may sound a bit naff but self affirmations are good too, really look at yourself in the mirror, look at all the good stuff you've achieved, try to change the internal dialogue you have with yourself.
  • bighey75
    bighey75 Posts: 6 Member
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    girlviernes wrote: »
    If you had confidence, what would you be doing differently?

    I suppose I never really had it. I'd been overweight for 20 years. My younger siblings always sort of made fun of me, just little shots here and there about my weight, they still do, but now its more like "dude, eat a cheeseburger".

    I suppose I sort of had this expectation from reading others experiences, and in this area, it's been a complete let down thus far.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    Honestly, I had more confidence when I was heavier. I think it may have been because I wasn't overly concerned with my size and looks and now I am more so concerned and never satisfied.

    Same here.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    It's something you build separately. Self confidence doesn't come from weight loss.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,973 Member
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    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Maybe your brain has not caught up with your new look. Congrats on the weight loss, however!!

    Cosigned!

  • bighey75
    bighey75 Posts: 6 Member
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    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's something you build separately. Self confidence doesn't come from weight loss.

    I guess. Perhaps one more thing I need to work on. I think getting healthy might be easier of the two....
  • bighey75
    bighey75 Posts: 6 Member
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    queenliz99 wrote: »
    Maybe your brain has not caught up with your new look. Congrats on the weight loss, however!!

    Evident in my shopping for new shirts the other day... STILL looking at stuff thats too big. I went to the the next size down and viola! It fit.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
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    bighey75 wrote: »
    girlviernes wrote: »
    If you had confidence, what would you be doing differently?

    I suppose I never really had it. I'd been overweight for 20 years. My younger siblings always sort of made fun of me, just little shots here and there about my weight, they still do, but now its more like "dude, eat a cheeseburger".

    I suppose I sort of had this expectation from reading others experiences, and in this area, it's been a complete let down thus far.
    You may never get it unless you work at it. I lost most of my weight more than 7 years ago. In my head I'm still a fat girl. The people who didn't know me when I was obese tell me that when they first meet me, I seem like a stuck up b1tch, but then I tell them "no, I'm actually just super shy. Add 100 lbs to me, and then my personality will make more sense."
  • professionalHobbyist
    professionalHobbyist Posts: 1,316 Member
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    It is a strange thing. For me it is taking time.

    I have a new group of friends at the gym and bike trail. I definitely get treated very much differently by women.

    Buying an entirely new wardrobe and getting clothes I like, instead of ones that minimize fat...

    Let yourself emerge. But be patient.

    Congratulations on your great weight loss!!

    Awesome job!!

  • Ohwhynot
    Ohwhynot Posts: 356 Member
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    People have already said it, but I agree. It comes from within. :) Deciding that your opinion is the only one that counts is what worked for me. I've been skinny and I've been fat. Realizing that I've been a pretty cool person either way was the hard part. It's OK to like yourself and be proud of your accomplishments!
  • shawnaes91
    shawnaes91 Posts: 60 Member
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    I'm still waiting for my confidence to emerge.
  • bandb678
    bandb678 Posts: 104 Member
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    Bighey. Confident or not.....congratulations on the weightloss!

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