Marriage Where Only One Person is Watching Calories

Duchy82

How about you let him cook what he would like to eat but you dish up your own so say its pasta you have a small serving with a small serving of sauce, add a large salad, skip the cheese and presto just made it healthy.

I frequently make our meals slightly different but similar say he fancies chicken nuggets, i will oven bake instead of deep fry, add cheesy potato waffles and baked beans to his and i will have a large salad and we're both happy. I will do 2 types of potato buttery mash for him and a small plain jacket for me, i would do different veg its usually the meat base that is the same.

Burgers: i don't add cheese and bacon to mine, sometimes i will miss off the bun and don't put butter on my burger buns either, if he wants chips(fries) ill make them for him.

At the end of the day hes a grown man so if he wants to make bad choices thats up to him, my hubby just started mfp himself but his calorie allowance is about twice that of mine as he has a very physical job, i have been doing the above for a couple of years now and it probably will stay like this for a long while.

However, your hubby can't moan about what's in the house if he hasn't told you to get it from the shops and he's a big boy I'm sure he knows where to get his fav sugary cereal.

mkakids

What I end up doing is eating a small portion of whatever he has cooked and then eating a large portion of steamed veggies

GeddesFit

My husband was having a hard time at first but now he's completely on board with eating how I do ( he allows more cheats then I do but he's got less to lose) I like to take meals I enjoy and make them healthy. We make tacos/fajitas on romain lettuce leafs or spaghetti with spaghetti squash for noodles instead of pasta things like that help keep the meals similar and still healthy

Owlie45

You guys should both get on to a healthy recipe site such as skinny taste and look though for something you both will enjoy. And make them together. Or at the very least have him pick out some spices. Bland chicken and veggies get old real quick. Even a bit of garlic powder and pepper makes a big difference.

Cait_Sidhe

I don't get how this is even an issue. I've been a pescetarian most of my life and I don't think I've ever been with anyone with the same eating habits as me. All long term relationships I've had have been with meat eaters. There is no way I'm going to eat their food and I don't expect them to eat as I do. If they want to share my food that's fine too but no one has to. It's weird to want to control how others eat. I eat what I want, they eat what they want.

hearthwood

Have your husband go to the grocery store to get his own stuff, either that or make a list for you. Your weight loss is for you, not your husband, so you don't have to include him in it.

oh_happy_day

KrisiAnnH wrote: »

My boyfriend and I live together and I'm trying to lose weight while he's trying to gain a little. He's also pretty tall and has a relatively active job so his calorie needs are way higher than mine! I try and make things we both like that can be modified for both of us, eg. low cal curry, tons of rice and naan for him, cauliflower rice for me and a smaller portion. Tuna pasta bake with tons of cheese for him, less and half fat cheese for me. He's usually pretty happy to eat whatever I make but I do try and substitute my healthier stuff for other things for him. Things like adding a side of beans or chips or something to his meal if I'm having veg and grilled meat etc

This is what we do. I do most of the grocery shopping and cooking. I also cook for health, not just calorie intake. Despite the occasional whinge about the lack of regular cream/bacon/pasta in my cooking, he admits that he eats a wider variety of food and more vegetables since we got together. I also keep snack and breakfast foods that he likes. I feel really strongly about healthy foods so I'll make him healthier versions of stuff he likes, for example muffins, pancakes.

About once a week we'll do our own thing. I'll do a home made soup, he'll stuff himself with pasta. I also make him things that I don't eat (eg savoury mince and baked potato - it's not the calories, I just don't care for it) and freeze them so that he can defrost them when he wants it. Things like curries (naan and rice for him, none for me), healthy pasta sauces (zucchini noodles for me, pasta for him), healthy burrito bowls and lots of slow cooker meals are adjustable to both our needs. I mostly give him extra sides - rice, bread, extra cheese etc to meet his calorie needs. He's also learning to cook without smothering stuff in oil and cream which isn't about calories, it's about our ongoing health.

I think you have to meet in the middle somewhere. Complaints don't really fly with me if I've gone to the effort of meal planning, shopping and cooking. You want to take over, spend the hours doing it, keep to the food budget and meet both our needs - be my guest!

cupcakesplz

Hubby, my self and the kids all eat different things.

We have burgers once a week
I have a small homemade beef pattie with lots of salad. No sauce n a small bun

The kids have small cheese burgers with chips

Hubby has a big burger with bacon cheese and chips

This is all home made and tastes way better than takeaway burgers.

Hubby does like to eat my food but he adds extras to his meal like bread, chips, cheese and lots of sauce.

When we have pasta or curry I add steamed veggies to mine and mix it into my small serving of the curry or pasta

professionalHobbyist

I am responsible for what I eat

And there is no way a woman would eat my crazy diet!

I don't even think of telling her what to eat or act like her food choices impact mine

The stove has 4 burners and there are lots of pots and pans

GF likes to take advantage of my body anyway!

clockworkgeisha

Here are some of my ideas:

Get a slow cooker/Crock pot. If time/energy to prepare interesting meals is an issue, this will help you out loads. I love my slow cooker.

Get your partner involved in choosing recipes. It sounds like he feels he has no control over what he eats right now, which is why he's a) offering to cook a lot and b) throwing hissy fits and going to McDonalds.

Try websites like skinnytaste, and also Pinterest for lower fat/calorie versions of meals your husband enjoys, and get him to have a look and pick a few things he fancies.

Let him cook, but get him to weigh ingredients and portions so you can log accurately. Although my partner has no interest in losing weight, he started doing that for me and got a lot more interested in why I needed him to do it, and now he weighs things like pasta even when he's only cooking for himself! If he's more interested in your journey, perhaps he'll be more sympathetic to your eating habits.

kshama2001

Psychgrrl wrote: »

Maybe you two can take a healthy cooking class together. And start shopping together. Even a couple healthy cookbooks where you two pick recipes and make them together could be fun.

If you haven't fully talked it through, he make take your food makeover not as something for yourself, but because you want to change him, as if you're not happy with his weight.

I love these ideas!

kshama2001

gaelicstorm26 wrote: »

This is a tough issue. My husband is very understanding. We are both educators but he is an assistant principal and works through the summer whereas I'm home with the kids. We split meal planning. We both look at the sales for groceries in our area and I'll pick a few meals and he'll pick a few meals. He isn't one for sauces, gravies, or pasta heavy meals as he and I are both diabetic. That helps us both. I do like my meat seasoned so if we're cooking London broil, for example, he will cut a small piece off for me and I'll season it the way I like and he will cook it accordingly. He doesn't like onions or mushrooms, so sometimes when we grill I'll cut some up and throw it in a foil packet, which he will happily stick on the grill while the meat is cooking. I also have a 5 and 6 year old so I have to keep them in mind too as my 5 year old has sensory issues with food.

Meal planning is complicated but it is worth it. Maybe you can both compromise? You can each pick 3 days of meals. When he picks, put your portion of meat aside to keep it out of the sauce/gravy/whatever. When you cook, just let him add cheese or whatever to his portion. My husband thinks that salt is spicy (ok, a BIT of an exaggeration but not much) so if I want more flavor I have to add it myself. If he wants pasta then I make a salad (I frequently shop on Sundays during the school year and will make a few days worth of salad on Sunday to save time).

I really think you guys can work it out. And of course sometimes we just have to eat things that aren't our favorite or cooked in our favorite way. In our house, I like my roast beef to be done pot roast style where it pulls apart but the hubby likes his a different way, so we alternate.

During the school year my hubby does almost all of the cooking. I'm a lucky gal.

Best of luck!

Ya, I like my steak with chipotle powder and medium rare, he likes his without and medium. It's really simple to spice mine separately and take it off the grill earlier.

I send food home for his mother - yesterday swordfish - mine got more spice and less cooking time. I made swordfish tacos for me and since I thought the tortilla might be difficult for her gave her essentially the same meal, only with rice instead of a tortilla. (And no chipotle.)

http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/recipe/grilled-swordfish-tacos

Need2Exerc1se

I am watching my calories, my husband is not. I cook a healthy dinner and he either eats it or fixes something for himself. I don't like bland food, though. We eat a great variety of tasty meals. He just eats bigger portions than I, which seems normal.

soccerkon26

When I cook, I'll make things lower in calorie...my boyfriend will make it a more satisfying meal by adding more cheese, butter, bread on the side, etc.

If he makes cheeseburgers or wants pizza or ice cream, I exercise more than day so I can eat it or I just eat much less of it than I used to.

I know it can be frustrating but it's so worth it to see them happier. Compromise on both ends!

leggup

We've been married for 3 years, living together for almost 4 years and we almost never eat the same thing for dinner. Sometimes we'll ask each other to make a few more of something for each other like eggrolls. If I'm roasting veggies in the oven I will even create an aluminum foil divider between our foods since mine will be exactly 300 grams and his won't. For skillet meals, he'll often wait until I'm done using the skillet and cook meat in the leftover oil/veggie bits. I'm calorie counting and a vegetarian. He eyeballs and eat all of the meat. We've never had an argument over food, other than the initial, "no, don't eat food off my plate because I've already weighed it."

rhyolite_

I guess I just don't see the need for either one of you to compromise or meet in the middle. I, alone, decide what goes into my body. If my husband wants to cook, I can either make it fit or make something for myself. As others have mentioned, "making it fit" often means getting very little to eat. I don't like to do that. I would rather have a very large salad or a large plate of vegetables than a much smaller portion of spaghetti. That's not because I demonize pasta/carbs/high calorie foods. I personally just don't want to use such a high portion of my daily allotment on such a small meal. It isn't worth it to me. If my husband ever told me to compromise and eat his food, despite the fact that I would be unhappy with my food choices, we would have a problem. The reverse is also true. My husband is a runner and eats at least twice my daily allotment of calories. I could absolutely never tell him to eat my food the way I make it without adding anything extra. That would not be okay. His body, his choices.

Most of the time, we make our own food separately. My husband is a better cook than me, though, so more often, he makes a dinner of lean meats and veggies for everyone. Then he either adds to the meal for himself, or eats a snack later.

shawnamay590

I can definitely sympathize. I started on a low carb diet about a year ago, and my husband would not join me. It was really difficult at first because we were making up to three different meals to suit everyone in the house. It got to be overwhelming, so I had to confront my husband about it. I have lost 50 pounds so far and don't intend to go back to my old eating habits as a norm. I started looking at low carb meals that he would enjoy (white chicken chili, chili with sun dried tomato cream sauce, pork chops, etc), then would find low carb subs for meals that he likes. For example, I pick a low sugar marinara sauce and make spaghetti squash when he wants spaghetti. He can have pasta and I have the squash. Or, when we have taco night, I just make a taco salad. Pizza night got tricky, but I found a low carb flax seed crust recipe that help up really nicely to sauce and toppings. I also found an almond meal pancake recipe for our big breakfast days. Those freeze really well and can be popped in the toaster.

2snakeswoman

Since you work full time, and he is an adult, I say he can fend for himself if he doesn't like what you're making. I've run into this same sort of problem where my husband said he'd eat whatever I make, then he'd complain, and I told him "you know your way around the kitchen - make whatever you'd like."

If he were working full time and you were doing the homemaker job, that would be different.

hartmamp

I struggled with this for a long time and ended up usually making separate meals. It's just easier that way - he also eats large portions, so it actually saved us from the arguments where I'd go to eat something and he'd already eaten it.

MsJulesRenee

I make my boyfriend a different version of what I eat. For example, if we have chicken I put BBQ sauce on his, put butter in his rice, etc. I make a plain version or whatever fits into my calories that day. I might have to use an extra pan but I think it's worth the dishes to make him happy. If I have extra calories I eat what he does! I'm always out on a hunt for comfort foods that we can both enjoy without blowing my calories away. I buy him little snacks when I go grocery shopping to show that I still think about his comfort - buy him a case of pop, and buy myself a case of soda water. If he really wants pizza I don't get offended if he comes home with it, I just ask that he doesn't buy me a slice, too.

When he wants to make "unhealthy" meals fix it how you want it. If he makes burgers try open face sandwich and steam veggies on the side. You can't tell him how to eat and he can't tell you so...compromise

karyabc

shawnamay590 wrote: »

I can definitely sympathize. I started on a low carb diet about a year ago, and my husband would not join me. It was really difficult at first because we were making up to three different meals to suit everyone in the house. It got to be overwhelming, so I had to confront my husband about it. I have lost 50 pounds so far and don't intend to go back to my old eating habits as a norm. I started looking at low carb meals that he would enjoy (white chicken chili, chili with sun dried tomato cream sauce, pork chops, etc), then would find low carb subs for meals that he likes. For example, I pick a low sugar marinara sauce and make spaghetti squash when he wants spaghetti. He can have pasta and I have the squash. Or, when we have taco night, I just make a taco salad. Pizza night got tricky, but I found a low carb flax seed crust recipe that help up really nicely to sauce and toppings. I also found an almond meal pancake recipe for our big breakfast days. Those freeze really well and can be popped in the toaster.

Hi! Can you give me the recipe for the almond meal pancakes? **thanks

218Beth

My husband is gluten and dairy free. Meals can be interesting at our house. We're been working to try to blend more of his foods into the foods the kids and I eat. Some days are easier than others though.