Social anxiety at gym

helenjan3

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

BasicGreatGuy

Regardless of what others may think by taking a look, their opinion does not (at least it shouldn't) change the fact that you are wonderfully you.

Don't focus on what you think others may see or what they may think. Try and focus on being even more awesome today than you were yesterday.

If you find yourself getting nervous or feel an anxiety attack coming on, picture everyone around you with diapers on and a pacifier in their mouths.

MonkeyMel21

I just ignore everyone else. I have my headphones turned up and just do my thing. Obviously I'm mindful of others when I'm in the weight room so I don't get in anyone's way.

phillipdean299

Keep in mind you are there for your own health. Spend your time working out and let them waste their time staring.

csuhar

I think these fears sometimes come from how looking at ourselves in the mirror is often part of how we motivate ourselves to go to the gym. In doing so, we get a feeling that others are looking at our bodies, too.

But the overwhelming truth, in my experience, is that if those in the gym are focusing on a body, it's their own. Sure, they'll see the others and maybe make a brief mental note, but most of them are really just focusing on their own appearance.

theawill519

I was anxious about going to the gym when I first started, too. Here are a few things that helped me:

-Wear headphones the entire time.
-Take a friend with you for support.
-Go at a less busy time of day, at least for the first few visits. At my gym, there is NO ONE there on Friday night. That's when I started.

And possibly most importantly, read this article: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

999tigger

A common issue, especially if you are new.

NOBODY CARES they are only interested in themselves.
You are there for good reasons.
Dont compare yourself to others.
Go with a plan so you know what to do.
Music is a good way of staying focused on you.
Go to a gym you like where you feel comfy.
Go at times which are quiet.
Maybe get a PT if you can afford it and need someone to show you and get you started.
It gets easier.

WSOX37

Screw what everyone else thinks you are there for your health and well being go in that gym like you own it

rosebarnalice

csuhar wrote: »

But the overwhelming truth, in my experience, is that if those in the gym are focusing on a body, it's their own. Sure, they'll see the others and maybe make a brief mental note, but most of them are really just focusing on their own appearance.

This.

I swim, and there's not a whole lot to hide waddling to the open lane in a public pool at 230+ lbs. So here's the way I look at it: If anyone IS looking, well let 'em. They'll see a fat chick trying to improve herself. And if that gives them pause to laugh or a chuckle or think to themselves "ewwww!!!! glad I don't look THAT way!" That's fine. I'm not there cruising for a date ANYWAY.

ExRelaySprinter

Lots of good advice here.
Definitely wear Headphones and avoid "busy times".

paris458

I felt like that too at first. I went later in the evening when there were less people until I got use to it

PinkDeerBoy

I have social anxiety too. I have found going to a smaller gym has really helped me. I know the times when basically nobody is there, so I can do what I need without worrying too much. I've also found that regularly working out has helped me better manage my anxiety over time. When I do go to a bigger gym (my college's) I tell myself that everyone is too focused on their own workouts to care about what one guy is doing, and that there are probably a handful of people there that feel just like me, and that I'm not alone.

No_Finish_Line

I've got it pretty bad myself. even going to my friends house whom I've known for more then 15 yrs causes a lot of anxiety.

for the most part, the gym doesn't really bother me tho, I guess because crowds don't really bother me, I just hate it when there is an expectation to be social.

since most people seem to be happy to pretend your not there at the gym, I'm fine.

so I guess my only advice would be to just go and be uncomfortable, that's basically how I do it with every other aspect of life that it gets in the way of.

Jonny15121983

Hey Helen!

You've just described the exact reason I am very, very nervous about joining a gym. I have severe social anxiety too and understand that it isn't as easy as just ignoring them or pretending they aren't there. It can be tough to do but one trick that has worked for me is forcing myself to make eye-contact. The reason I think it works well is that we are naturally presuming the worst, when you make eye contact you will usually see no signs of what you fear in others faces and I can't tell you how many times when I look, I realize that person isn't even looking at me!

I totally agree with Thea above too, headphones with music or a good audiobook can really help to pull your mind away. At the same time, try to get a really strong image in your mind of a big goal for you and focus in on that whilst letting the music drive you. That is what I do when I am out rollerblading and it helps me a lot

shadowfax_c11

I practice a martial art and one of the guys I workout with has severe social anxiety. We have trained together for 6 years now and he still has days when his anxiety really cripples him. Sometimes we have to just ease up and let him have a break. Sometimes he isn't the best partner because his anxiety makes it really hard to work with him without freaking him out. In the 6 years I made it to my black belt and he was right there cheering me on when I tested. In fact he had pre test anxiety for me!

Showing up for class is sometimes really hard for him. Especially when we are doing sword practice and he has someone as intense as me coming at him with a bokken. But he just keeps showing up in spite of all of this. I can't tell you how much respect that gets him from the rest of us.

Your anxiety is just a part of who you are. It does not define you and does not have to stop you from having success. But it is totally up to you whether you will let it hold you back.

andympanda

Make it so you are worth staring at. You will be doing such a kick *kitten* job, you will be setting an example for everyone else. if not screw them all to hell.

BasicGreatGuy

shadowfax_c11 wrote: »

I practice a martial art and one of the guys I workout with has severe social anxiety. We have trained together for 6 years now and he still has days when his anxiety really cripples him. Sometimes we have to just ease up and let him have a break. Sometimes he isn't the best partner because his anxiety makes it really hard to work with him without freaking him out. In the 6 years I made it to my black belt and he was right there cheering me on when I tested. In fact he had pre test anxiety for me!

Showing up for class is sometimes really hard for him. Especially when we are doing sword practice and he has someone as intense as me coming at him with a bokken. But he just keeps showing up in spite of all of this. I can't tell you how much respect that gets him from the rest of us.

Your anxiety is just a part of who you are. It does not define you and does not have to stop you from having success. But it is totally up to you whether you will let it hold you back.

Absolutely.

accidentalpancake

I've talked to a great number of people on this issue, and believe me, the people who are being looked at and judged the whole time are the fittest people in the gym.

Everyone else is essentially wallpaper. And that's a good thing.

Jonny15121983

shadowfax_c11 wrote: »

I practice a martial art and one of the guys I workout with has severe social anxiety. We have trained together for 6 years now and he still has days when his anxiety really cripples him. Sometimes we have to just ease up and let him have a break. Sometimes he isn't the best partner because his anxiety makes it really hard to work with him without freaking him out. In the 6 years I made it to my black belt and he was right there cheering me on when I tested. In fact he had pre test anxiety for me!

Showing up for class is sometimes really hard for him. Especially when we are doing sword practice and he has someone as intense as me coming at him with a bokken. But he just keeps showing up in spite of all of this. I can't tell you how much respect that gets him from the rest of us.

Your anxiety is just a part of who you are. It does not define you and does not have to stop you from having success. But it is totally up to you whether you will let it hold you back.

Thanks so much for this post and story, both you sharing it with your perspective from the outside and your mates perseverance to fight through, what I can imagine must be torture for him, is really inspirational

Bacchants

I think the whole 'people are more focused on themselves' is true in a gym where people are serious about being in shape.

I have the misfortune of going to a small and cheap gym (will be changing when I move yay!) and because it's £5 a month it attracts loads of people who are newbs/not that focused on getting ripped. I find that when I go to the free weight section I get a lot of staring (and I assume judgement) I've also had lewd comments and gestures. However, it's always from the dudes who are at the gym with 3-4 buddies where one is working out and the other 2-3 have nothing to do but look round the weight room. It's never from the serious gym regulars who only care about their workout.

So tl:dr it's worth paying for a good gym, and make sure you check it out properly before committing to a full membership.

Capt_Apollo

helenjan3 wrote: »

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

it's not them, it's you. they aren't staring at you, most of them are too engrossed in their own workout to pay attention to someone else.

shells22

999tigger wrote: »

A common issue, especially if you are new.

NOBODY CARES they are only interested in themselves.
You are there for good reasons.
Dont compare yourself to others.
Go with a plan so you know what to do.
Music is a good way of staying focused on you.
Go to a gym you like where you feel comfy.
Go at times which are quiet.
Maybe get a PT if you can afford it and need someone to show you and get you started.
It gets easier.

This!

I prefer early AM and people will look regardless of anything. Hey, you're looking at me whilst I look like this waking up a 4 AM and getting my gym on- your problem buddy, not mine.

glovepuppet

ask at the desk when their quietest times are. lots of people like a distraction free workout, so they won't think you're weird.

ninerbuff

helenjan3 wrote: »

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

Sit in the gym and look at how many people stare at others. You'll find it's not happening. They are more concerned about everyone else looking at them. So it's an even playing field.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

SoDamnHungry

No one stares. Although sometimes I stare at the butt of the person in front of me if it's particularly hypnotic. Can't help it! But really, no one cares, and if you can go during the day or later at night there will be less people around most likely.

smittybuilt19

It is good that you have recognized fact #1, people will look and some will even stare. Kind of the same way they do at, say, Walmart. In going to the gym, Just like with shopping, you have an end goal. Those end goals are so much more important than those who are inevitably looking/staring.

No_Finish_Line

if you really have the disorder, then I'm not sure there are really any 'tips' that are going to make you truly comfortable.

I think the take away from the martial arts story is that you simply (poor choice of words) have to overcome the pathology, everyday

dianna321

If you're at a really good gym.... Befriend the staff!! Just like awkwardly introduce yourself and be like you're a little nervous about starting and just ask them for advice and what not! If they're good, they'll make you feel at home and you'll even get excited to go to the gym when your favorites are working!!!

Michaelxo444

Ask your angels to surround you in their love and healing to keep you calm and to shield you from any harsh energies and just Remember it's not like these people at the gym are living your life and walking around in your body *kitten* em

Capt_Apollo

butterflyangelxo wrote: »

Ask your angels to surround you in their love and healing to keep you calm and to shield you from any harsh energies and just Remember it's not like these people at the gym are living your life and walking around in your body *kitten* em

No_Finish_Line

dianna321 wrote: »

If you're at a really good gym.... Befriend the staff!! Just like awkwardly introduce yourself and be like you're a little nervous about starting and just ask them for advice and what not! If they're good, they'll make you feel at home and you'll even get excited to go to the gym when your favorites are working!!!

... should be no problem at all for someone with social anxiety disorder...