Supposed to start today..but I'm actually embarrassed

MsIndependent316

anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?

BasicGreatGuy

Don't worry about what other people think. What they may think isn't important.

Go outside and exercise. Don't look for excuses. If you quit today, you will quit tomorrow.

What is more important, getting healthier or worrying about strangers?

SherryTeach

It's way more important to get your food in order than to worry about what other people think of your exercise plan. Start there. That's where losing weight happens. In the kitchen. In privacy.

NaomiJFoster

Working out is wonderful for you in many ways. Coupled with a healthy diet, it will improve heart health, stamina, strength, flexibility, and help you keep those calories at your goal. Just do it, as the saying goes. Anyone else who is also out there, is really just focused on themselves. In the gym, at the park, at the track, walking around the neighborhood...wherever you're going, do it for yourself. The other people there are just doing it for themselves too. Nobody really cares what you're doing, because they are their own main priority. Keep those thoughts out of your head, they won't help you reach your health goals.

yarwell

Earbuds in, shades and hat on, go for it.

atypicalsmith

I feel your pain! I was the same way; didn't want anyone to see me walking. There is a dimly lighted park nearby and I would go there at 5:00 am and use the trail there. Very few people, if any, are there at that time. I walked as far as I could (it's a half-mile track) each morning until I worked my way up to three miles. Then, in the winter, I joined the Y and discovered there were a lot of people there with far more to lose than I! I've never felt self-conscious since.

Pinnacle_IAO

MsIndependent316 wrote: »

anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?

I totally feel you!

The truth is most people respect those who are striving to improve themselves.
At day's end, we need to focus on our goals and not the response of others. That's what got me past this feeling.
Good Luck!

auntstephie321

Whenever I see someone who isn't already in perfect shape, walking or exercising, I find it inspiring. Think about how you getting out there and focusing on your health may help motivate someone else to do the same.

MsIndependent316

Thank you to you both. I will focus on those things.

aylajane

I used to feel that way as well. I am super-selfconscious, and have little to no self-esteem - I really feel like I shouldnt exist sometimes, I am invisible, etc.

When I mentioned almost this same thing to someone - I dont want to exercise because I will be embarassed for people to see me, she explained it to me in a way that made sense... She said it was incredibly ARROGANT of me to think that anyone at all would be looking at me, much less give me a second thought. She asked what was so important about me that anyone would take the energy to actually look over at me and think anything at all? She asked why, if I all the time complained about how I was invisible to the world, would I think that suddenly I would become visible to everyone and they would all take the time out of their day to look my way and think anything bad (or good ) about it?

Basically, you are being arrogant thinking this way - you are not that important in any of those people's lives that they would care one way or another what you are doing at any given moment in time. THe only people who would take the time out of their day to notice you, are people who care about you. Those people want to see you healthy anyway.

So you really have no excuse. Every moment you put it off because you think strangers are looking at you, is another moment you let your huge self-inflated, self-important ego get in the way of your health.

Seems kind of cruel, but if you are the person who thinks this way anyway (I call it "martyr mode"), this actually makes sense and is the only thing that would have motivated me at the time.

tmbush64

I know exactly how you feel. I am 100 pounds overweight I just started taking control last week. I walk my dog in the evening and hope no one realizes I'm trying to exercise. After about 3 nights I started to change that mindset. I started being really proud of myself for getting out and moving. I bought a treadmill for more intense walking and for when I try to pick up the pace (no one should witness the jiggle) but I will continue with my nightly walk and hold my head high. Because one day someone will see me healthy and remember back to when I first started. Who knows maybe I will inspire someone else but right now I'm letting it be all about me. Add me as a friend we can support each other.

debsdoingthis

SherryTeach wrote: »

It's way more important to get your food in order than to worry about what other people think of your exercise plan. Start there. That's where losing weight happens. In the kitchen. In privacy.

+1

2snakeswoman

Agree with above. Most people are interested in what they themselves are doing, not in what you are doing. So get out there, enjoy yourself.

But remember, weight loss starts in the kitchen. Weigh/measure/log your food, keep track of those calories.

DerekVTX

I felt that way too 84lbs ago when I first walked into the gym and though that all those very fit people are probably looking down on me.....but I didn't let it deter me. Now that I am kind of one of those fitter people, I don't look down on any overweight people in the gym....I just say good for them, hardest part is getting through the door of the gym. Dedicated 2 years of your life to lose that 135lbs.......just do it because the alternative is harder than the work you need to put in.

trying4real

yarwell wrote: »

Earbuds in, shades and hat on, go for it.

this is what I do

barbecuesauce

SherryTeach wrote: »

It's way more important to get your food in order than to worry about what other people think of your exercise plan. Start there. That's where losing weight happens. In the kitchen. In privacy.

This. You will definitely feel better physically if you begin working out, but weight loss happens in the kitchen.

Mezzie1024

Honestly, you're just going to have to push past that feeling. The vast majority of people won't notice you or think about you. Some will, and some of those people will think -- and possibly even say -- awful things. That sucks, and there's simply no way around that sucking if that happens (and it may not!). Here's what you shouldn't do, though: assume everyone is judging you. Not everyone is. Not even most are. And some of them -- maybe someone who sees you pass from his/her kitchen window -- will be thinking, "I wish I had the guts to do that" and be inspired.

Do it for yourself because you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. You're taking care of yourself; do it proudly, and hold your head up high if/when anyone tries to make you feel ashamed. Those people are wrong. And do it for the people in your situation who haven't yet built up the courage. Show them it can be done.

Yes, you could focus on calories in the privacy of your home (and you certainly shouldn't neglect that!), and you could even decide to do all your exercise in your living room. But you decided you want to go outside to exercise, and for some reason you think your fear of what other people might think is more important than your desire to get fit in the method you have chosen. Doesn't that sound wrong? You pay the same taxes for that sidewalk, that bikepath, that park, that community pool -- they are as much yours as they are anyone else's. Use them in bright daylight, walk on them in the midst of crowds. Hold your chin up and fake confidence until you feel confidence.

Do it now. Then do it again tomorrow. It will get easier every time.

999tigger

Honestly dont worry and remind yourself that you are seeking to improve your life. Focus on the reasons why you are doing it. There are so many people on this site with weight to lose and some who have done over 200. You are wherever you are, it will just take x weeks to get where you wnat to go.

If you dont do anything then thats a choice to stay where you are, so take it one day at a time and start with small achievable steps. A 5 minute walk turns into 10, into 15 into 30 into an hour. Each time push yourself a little bit.

You cna do it, look at the benefits and support yourself.

Ill go along with the posts which identify logging, learning about weight loss and weighing your food are the core skills you need to master first. Exercise can help with weight loss, but its main aim is for fitness/ health, which is also very importnat.

ninerbuff

It's more fear than embarrassment. What if you do this and it doesn't work out? What if I put in my best effort and fail? Well let's look at the alternative: you stay the way you are health and fitness wise. You develop no self esteem. You hide behind feelings of inferiority. IMO, that's no way to live. So it just really boils down to how bad you really want this? You gotta want it bad enough that you're willing to be put out of your COMFORT ZONE. The reality is that people really don't care as much as you'd like to think. They are thinking more about what you thought of them as you passed by.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Steve_ApexNC

"I'd rather be last on race day than first in the stands."

just a quote that I heard once, but have used with others. The point is being out there and doing at any pace/performance is better than watching and wishing.

Truth is, most people are not even paying any attention to you and even if they are, who is to say they aren't rooting for you. As to the small handful of negative jerks - well...to hell with 'em. Haters gonna hate. There is a special place for them.

But, yea, even then I get it. I have been doing my cardio on a treadmill in my garage. We got the treadmill for 50 bux from someone who bought it and never used it. My reasons for treadmill are different than yours, but it would solve things for you. You can hang a TV or listen to music and sing or get a book holder built for a treadmill. But, get a fan to ensure good air movement. Once you have more confidence built up, then you can venture outside.

Or, get a nice dog to walk with. You can go the cute dog route to distract people or the ferocious route and scare people.

edit: Oh, forgot to add, there is nothing stupid about taking your health seriously.

ncfitbit

How about these two success stories for inspiration?

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1454303/2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost/p1

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1276219/i-went-from-morbidly-obese-to-6-pack-abs-ask-me-anything/p1

Good luck! You can do it. Lots of people here have. Be one of them.

GreenValli

Since you are starting I understand it is awkward, but I think as you make it a routine, it will not bother you as much. Think of all of us walking with you. I am still quite a long ways from my goal but feel more confident already. I look in the mirror some days and feel so good looking at a thinner me! Success can be so motivating, but you have to start to achieve some success!

Also, I used to walk at a high school track when the school was closed and there was no one around. Maybe you can check and see if a local school has a track without a fence around it where you can start walking. It can be boring though, so do take music with you if you choose that option.

You've taken the first step to decide today is the day to begin. You realize your feelings are holding you back and have taken the time to tell others about it. Many of us have felt that way and taken the plunge. So do start today. Don't procrastinate any longer. You will be glad you started when you start making progress. I guarantee it!

Will you post here after your first walk? Please let us know you did it.

kpk54

Might try exercising in the privacy of your home. Youtube is full of free workouts. Walk Away the Pounds is one example.

MsIndependent316

aylajane wrote: »

I used to feel that way as well. I am super-selfconscious, and have little to no self-esteem - I really feel like I shouldnt exist sometimes, I am invisible, etc.

When I mentioned almost this same thing to someone - I dont want to exercise because I will be embarassed for people to see me, she explained it to me in a way that made sense... She said it was incredibly ARROGANT of me to think that anyone at all would be looking at me, much less give me a second thought. She asked what was so important about me that anyone would take the energy to actually look over at me and think anything at all? She asked why, if I all the time complained about how I was invisible to the world, would I think that suddenly I would become visible to everyone and they would all take the time out of their day to look my way and think anything bad (or good ) about it?

Basically, you are being arrogant thinking this way - you are not that important in any of those people's lives that they would care one way or another what you are doing at any given moment in time. THe only people who would take the time out of their day to notice you, are people who care about you. Those people want to see you healthy anyway.

So you really have no excuse. Every moment you put it off because you think strangers are looking at you, is another moment you let your huge self-inflated, self-important ego get in the way of your health.

Seems kind of cruel, but if you are the person who thinks this way anyway (I call it "martyr mode"), this actually makes sense and is the only thing that would have motivated me at the time.

THANK YOU!! I didn't even think about it like that. I feel better knowing that.

snickerscharlie

I saw a very obese woman riding a bicycle on the trails near my home last week while I was out for my walk. Our eyes met and I could tell by the look in hers that she expected to see judgement in mine.

I gave her a big smile and her entire demeanor changed. I added a heartfelt, "You go, girl!" as she passed me.

I was her not that long ago. Except I wouldn't have had the courage to try riding a bike. I could barely even walk around the block...

So to the OP: Weight loss begins in the kitchen. There's a valid saying that you can't outrun a bad diet. It's very true. Having said that, exercise of any kind is extremely beneficial as well. So even if you just start out by walking laps in your home, you're already miles ahead of the on-the-couch you.

And as to people potentially judging you? If they are that low to put you down for trying to better yourself, then they aren't the sort whose opinion matters, anyway.

One of my favourite sayings at times like these:

I think you might have be confused with someone who values your opinion.

Cortneyrenee04

Go for your walk with your head held high. You're trying to change your life.

gemdiver

If you really hate being seen exercising in public (I'm the same way), focus on planning your meals first. At least for me, it was a lot easier swapping out soda and alcohol at meals for water compared to getting the courage and motivation to go out and walk around the neighborhood.

purplejellies

i can relate because i too am overweight. i continually feel like i am being judged by others. but when you yourself see people working out. do you remember them? do you remember what they look like? most chances are you dont and chances are if you are out and about and trying the best you can for yourself and get fit and healthy for yourself, they arent going to pay no mind to you. i too am struggling to take my own advice. i walk into my gym and i think to myself "i cant run on that tredmill, did you just see that 120 something petite woman knock out 5 miles in like an hour? i can barely run a mile with out stopping, not getting on there" i look at machines and wish i knew how to work them and of course me im thinking i dont wanna try because knowing my luck im gonna look a fool trying to do this. but i think i need to swallow my pride as do you and just do it or as for help, as far as motivation, thats what this site kinda helps with. but we can only help so much the other half is totally up to you.

Sandcastles61

If you don't feel comfortable yet walking in public, there are some GREAT walking videos on YouTube by Leslie Sansone for instance you can do in the privacy of your living room. Of course you miss out on the sunshine, fresh air, birds singing and squirrels playing in the trees, but the important thing is to start moving I had to develop the attitude "who cares what anyone else thinks" when I put on a swimsuit for the first time in many many years this spring and started swimming to reclaim my health and lose weight. You can do it

queenliz99

trying4real wrote: »

yarwell wrote: »

Earbuds in, shades and hat on, go for it.

this is what I do

That is what I do as well.

2snakeswoman

Don't mind me; just testing to see if I've fixed the problem with my ticker not showing.

Bah! What am I doing wrong?