Supposed to start today..but I'm actually embarrassed

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  • NinjaGram
    NinjaGram Posts: 3 Member
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    I believe that the opinions of others do not validate WHO I am as a person. I understand exactly how you feel. I am 160 pounds overweight...embarrassed? I am a former World Champion Martial Arts Fighter and 4 time Martial Arts Hall of Famer! Yeah, that is very embarrassing to have gone from glory to bad story! But you and I are going to do this! You NEVER give up! Be proud of who you are because you have a purpose and a destiny! Ninja Hugs and Warrior Blessings!
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    edited August 2015
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    The strange thing is, although you are embarassed by how you look now, you will want a picture of "now" for later so that you can contrast where you started to what you've accomplished.

    I estimate my ideal weight as around 145. My lifetime highest weight was 142. After recovering from an injury in November that kept me from exercising, I'm fighting my way down from 220 (about 80 lbs overweight). But I have a different view. Yes I don't look the way I'd like. But if someone else doesn't like it, they can park their eyes elsewhere.

    I tend to buy tights rather than loose items because I find them more comfortable and fit-forgiving of weight fluctuations. I tend to buy bright colors and patterns so that if I'm walking where there are cars, the drivers cannot fail to see me and avoid hitting me. What is more, wearing clothes designed for exercise says "I'm exercising"--something that even thin people beat themselves up for not doing enough. And fellow walkers with whom I exchange casual greetings on my usual walking routes can see my progress and have commented positively upon it.

    What I'm saying is--don't hide. Own your weight. Own your body. You're working to improve. Go You!

    Only an @sshole will fault you for exercising. If any are immature enough to comment negatively, know it is better to be a fat@ss than an @sshole--far easier to diet and exercise than fix a character deficit.

    People who study the way folk perceive the world know (I just saw on Morgan Freeman's "Through the Wormhole") that our brains remember only what they are focused on. This is why in experiments, people can be told to "count the number of people wearing red that pass by in the video", and then when asked about the video, they have completely missed the parade of exotic animals & other items that were also walked past the camera alongside the crowd. Unless somebody thinks they might recognize you, or unless you are an obstacle in their way, most strangers literally *will not even see you* because they are too involved in their own thoughts and paying attention to their own concerns. Those few who notice you will think "Oh look, even that person is working out, I should not have skipped the gym this morning" and go off on some thought-stream about their own situation.

    Really, there will be no ill-will from anyone but those folk whose own internal monolog is so disturbed that they'd pick apart anyone they see anyway--the kind of warped psychology that can find fault even with a heavily-Photoshopped fashion model. As someone quipped on twitter, the kind of passive-aggressive person who says things like "Oh, I didn't recognize you at first, you look pretty." And you don't care what those people think because their opinion is warped to begin with.

    Something like 40% of Americans are overweight. Exercising in public at your current weight is more likely to put them on a guilt trip about their own health than to make them think negatively of you. If they even see you at all.

    PS: as a self-experiment, next time you go to the grocer, count the number of overweight people. Did you ever notice how many over-weight people there are before? I'm going to guess you didn't--and they are not noticing you, either.
  • Butterflies_And_Chaos_
    Butterflies_And_Chaos_ Posts: 22 Member
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    I completely understand!!! I use Leslie Sansone's "Walk Away The Pounds" videos in my living room... All the benefits of working out & none of the anxieties :smile:
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    this is why i always went running in the dead of night. I suppose there's a greater potential for crime but i always reasoned that chances were slim of someone wanting to get into it with a 300+ pound girl who could clearly kick their @$$.
  • LAT1963
    LAT1963 Posts: 1,375 Member
    edited August 2015
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    PPS: The most common reason for beginners to fail an exercise plan is that they are too ambitious and push too hard, then burn out. Here's how to avoid that problem.

    Please look up "target heart rate" on the internet and read about it. It is a very good tool for making sure you are exercising hard enough, but slow enough that you can sustain the effort and not burn out in your training regimen. Most of the websites are selling heart rate monitors but you can count your pulse manually using an ordinary watch to take your pulsethe old fashioned way, too. The monitors are convenient but if you're short on cash you can still use the heart-rate method on the cheap.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    if I see a bigger guy/girl running, my first thought is 'good for you!'.
    most people are decent people. most people will think that too.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Dont make it into a big thing. I could be soemthing as simple as walking to the shop or just around the block.
  • kjramirezz
    kjramirezz Posts: 7 Member
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    I felt the same way and honestly I sometimes still do. Im 5'2, 190 lbs so Im a pretty big girl plus I was already very curvy before I gained the 50 lbs. I started going to LA Fitness with my brother (aka my personal trainer) who is completely ripped and in shaped and just about every one else is too. Anyway I felt like a complete idiot just looking at a weight cuz I had never done it before and had no idea what I was doing. I was the only silly girl waddling around between body builders and pretty fit girls and it was SUPER intimidating. I didn't want to run because ( most girls will understand this) I hated the fact that I could feel my booty jiggle and felt very self conscious about it or other people looking at me. I expressed my feelings to my brother and what he said really helped me and when I start to feel uncomfortable I just say it to myself.

    When you are working out and you think people are looking at you, they see some one working hard to make a life change. When you are else where and you think people are looking at you they only see a heavy person, not that person in the gym every day. So work hard because the only one who really looks at you and judges you for your weight, is you.

    might be super cheesy but it helped me get out of being embarrassed all the time.
  • ThomasWright1997
    ThomasWright1997 Posts: 155 Member
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    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?



    Is that a spelling error, or are you like 3ft tall? If not, consult with a specialist in body dysmorphic disorders.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
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    ThomasWright1997 wrote: »
    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?



    Is that a spelling error, or are you like 3ft tall? If not, consult with a specialist in body dysmorphic disorders.

    Pretty sure she is 135 pounds overweight (she doesnt say her actual weight), not 135 pounds and thinks she is overweight. Is that what bothered you?
  • Sandcastles61
    Sandcastles61 Posts: 506 Member
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    ThomasWright1997 wrote: »
    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?



    Is that a spelling error, or are you like 3ft tall? If not, consult with a specialist in body dysmorphic disorders.

    @ ThomasWright1997....... I am sure you do understand she is seeking to lose135 pounds, not that she weighs 135 pounds :(
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    ThomasWright1997 wrote: »
    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?



    Is that a spelling error, or are you like 3ft tall? If not, consult with a specialist in body dysmorphic disorders.

    She says shes overweight and then says 135lbs, which indicates the amount she is overweight. Its a comprehension error on your part.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited August 2015
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    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?

    If you don't go, will you feel just as embarassed going out tomorrow morning, knowing all you've likely done is (likely) get bigger?

    No matter what you do, there will be a lot of suckage - so pick the suckage you're most comfortable with.
  • MsIndependent316
    MsIndependent316 Posts: 16 Member
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    ThomasWright1997 wrote: »
    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    anyone know a way to get over this feeling? I'm seriously overweight (like 135lbs). All I want to do is get fit and healthy but i don't want people seeing me workout (even walking). I planned on walking at night or early morning but every time I set my clock I get this stupid feeling..any tips?



    Is that a spelling error, or are you like 3ft tall? If not, consult with a specialist in body dysmorphic disorders.


    I need to lose that much. Even then that is still technically overweight but any less I would look sickly..but thank you for your concern as many people do have dysmorphic disorders.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Oh, and...good luck!

    :drinker:
  • AngieAbella
    AngieAbella Posts: 4 Member
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    I've been there!! I was at 400 pounds and couldn't walk 2 blocks down to the city park. I was so embarrassed and ashamed I couldn't walk with my kids or do activities. What I did, I started taking the beagle out for a walk. The focus is on the dog, not you. Also, i started doing Leslie Sansone walking dvd's in the house--no one saw me but kids/hubby. In the winter, turn down your heat and do those, and you'll warm up fast without a higher heat bill (temporarily anyway).

    I'm 70 pounds down, and went so far from a 34/36W to a 14/16, still have 130 pounds to the goal Dr's want. This has taken since september of last year to get to so far.

    You can do it! Don't let embarrassment stop you. You're doing this for you, not the folks outside. It's your body to work on, not theirs. Do this for you and your family!!
  • flatcoatedR
    flatcoatedR Posts: 173 Member
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    aylajane wrote: »
    I used to feel that way as well. I am super-selfconscious, and have little to no self-esteem - I really feel like I shouldnt exist sometimes, I am invisible, etc.

    When I mentioned almost this same thing to someone - I dont want to exercise because I will be embarassed for people to see me, she explained it to me in a way that made sense... She said it was incredibly ARROGANT of me to think that anyone at all would be looking at me, much less give me a second thought. She asked what was so important about me that anyone would take the energy to actually look over at me and think anything at all? She asked why, if I all the time complained about how I was invisible to the world, would I think that suddenly I would become visible to everyone and they would all take the time out of their day to look my way and think anything bad (or good ) about it?

    Basically, you are being arrogant thinking this way - you are not that important in any of those people's lives that they would care one way or another what you are doing at any given moment in time. THe only people who would take the time out of their day to notice you, are people who care about you. Those people want to see you healthy anyway.

    So you really have no excuse. Every moment you put it off because you think strangers are looking at you, is another moment you let your huge self-inflated, self-important ego get in the way of your health.

    Seems kind of cruel, but if you are the person who thinks this way anyway (I call it "martyr mode"), this actually makes sense and is the only thing that would have motivated me at the time.
    Cruel, yes, also very rude , and not very encouraging.
  • MsIndependent316
    MsIndependent316 Posts: 16 Member
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    Today, I actually went walking...yes I'm sore, sweaty, and a wee bit tired....but I feel AMAZING! Of course where I walked was near one of the busiest intersections and I just stayed focusing on my goals. Thank you all so much for the encouragement. It gave me the kick in the but to go out and do this.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    MsIndependent316 wrote: »
    Today, I actually went walking...yes I'm sore, sweaty, and a wee bit tired....but I feel AMAZING! Of course where I walked was near one of the busiest intersections and I just stayed focusing on my goals. Thank you all so much for the encouragement. It gave me the kick in the but to go out and do this.

    Strangely enough you mentioned one of my biggest issues with running outside - busy intersections. Did you cross it?
  • MsIndependent316
    MsIndependent316 Posts: 16 Member
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    Fortunately, no. Eventually I will but not yet. You almost have to run because the light changes so fast.

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