Living with parents makes calorie counting very difficult :/

dizzieblondeuk

I work full time, but am living with my parents due to the end of a relationship, and needing to get money together for a new place. I take my mum shopping on the weekend, and we menu plan together. I don't actively push low cal food on her and dad - they love their food, and don't want to lose weight - but I plan my own meals around what we will eat as a family, and those I know I will change slightly or make an alternative. There are quite a number of dishes where I will take a portion of the main element, and pair it with salad, instead of the potatoes/rice etc that they're having.

Simply knowing exactly what I'm going to be eating each evening helps immeasurably with how I plan the rest of my meals. I know I'm going to have the same breakfast every weekday morning, I have packed lunches that I can vary according to my daily calorie needs (between 300 and 450 calories), and I can pretty much pre-log my evening meals most days. That alone keeps me on target, and my exercise calories take care of anything else.

Try and get involved in food purchasing and menu planning as much as possible. If they won't let you do that, you need to keep your meals separate from their's, and buy and make your own. I'm lucky that I share the cooking responsibilities with my mother, and that makes calorie counting much easier. Even on the days she cooks, she always uses recipes, that I can log into MFP, and I weigh my portions. My parents looked at me strangely at first, and now they don't even bother asking. I sometimes come in late to find a note telling me what the weights are, because my dinner has already been plated up for me, and they've done it for me!!!

Sandcastles61

I would plan my day around dinner..... But I would also probably gush over her cooking and ask to have her teach me because I love it sooooo much Good luck!

cherries12345

I am in the same situation. I have little control over lunch, but I can eat what I want for breakfast and dinner, so I try my best to exercise and cut down on calories for those two meals. If you look at my food diary, you will see my lunch has upwards of 1000 calories. It's all homemade, but very caloric, unfortunately. Also, an easy way to cut down on calories when your stepmom is cooking is asking her to limit the amount of oil/butter she uses. As for counting on MFP, I just estimate (and sometimes even overestimate) quantities, which I know is not the best option, but it's all I can do at this point.

Queenmunchy

When I divorced, my daughter and I moved in with my parents. They were happy to have me take over all of the grocery shopping and cooking in lieu of rent so that I could save money for a house. When I bought my house I think they were more upset about not having that luxury than us actually leaving! Lol.
Anyway, if you can't do that, I'd suggest that you learn to batch cook and freeze so that you always have a backup in case the food they cook isn't something you feel you can fit into your day.

choppie70

I totally understand the controlling step mother! My MIL is very controlling to the point that she will put everyone's serving right on their plate. When she visits us she has to buy all the food and she needs to cook. FIL is over 300lbs right now. Last time she visited, I asked her not to get my food, I would serve myself (so I could weigh my food at least) and she had a little melt down.

One of the things I have learned is to save a good portion of my calories for dinner when she is here. I eat a light breakfast and lunch. I also try to fill up on whatever vegetable she is serving and/or salad.

Lounmoun

I lived with my parents after college. We only ate one meal together usually and I often cooked that for them as my way of contributing around the house.

I would do your best to be accurate about the meals you have control over and give your best guess for the others. Find a recipe for the dish online to get an estimate.
Better yet, just ask what is in it or ask for the recipe. Tell your stepmother you are collecting good recipes for when you move out on your own. She'll probably be more than willing to tell you as long as you are friendly and positive.

IsaackGMOON

vinegar_husbands wrote: »

IsaackGMOON wrote: »

RunningRoundParis wrote: »

Yeah I do cook sometimes, it's not all my step-mum although she is very funny with food, and the look on her face when she found out I even weigh myself makes me think she won't be very supportive if she knew I was trying to lose weight I guess I just need a better idea of what goes into her recipes...I just hope she isn't too defensive about it

Stop assuming... weigh your food.

There's no way that OP can even buy a food scale if her stepmother freaks out over her weighing herself.

Uhh.. yes there is.

OP is an adult. I think after years of going to school; she will be capable of buying a food scale.

swift13b

Once a week, cook up a meal that you can get a few nights worth of dinners out of. If she questions why you are cooking your own food instead of eating hers, say you saw a recipe online and wanted to try it. Then eat it the next few nights because it was just so good/you don't want to waste food etc. Then have one or two nights a week where you eat her food. Try and watch her cook or at the very least eat a small portion and then overestimate your logging.

blackcoffeeandcherrypie wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

Cook for them

This. Cook for them a couple of times a week. Share your recipes, let them know how many calories are in it, why it's good for them. Your step-mother may start volunteering the information about her recipes without you even having to ask.

I think this tactic might actually insult her step mum so I would avoid it. If her parents aren't actively trying to lose weight (regardless of whether or not they need to) they won't want to hear about calories. Been logging for almost a year now and my mum still has a problem with me weighing my food, there's no way I'm ever mentioning the calorie counts to her!

kmlr64

I'm in the same situation, I live at home and the only meal I have no control over is dinner. I've learned to allow at least 500 calories for dinner which isn't enough majority of the time, but I've drastically cut back elsewhere so it doesn't bother me if I go a little over. When mum is cooking dinner I ask what recipe she's using, and then I log that recipe according to how many servings I had. It's not completely accurate because I can't weigh and measure every ingredient, but at least I have a fairly good idea of how many calories was in my dinner.

ashypashy7

When I lived with my mom for a short time, I either offered to cook most days so I knew what was in everything or I bought and prepped and made my own food.

Merkavar

Sounds like you and your step mum are both adults, you should be able to discuss this with each other.

My suggestion is stop having your parents cook for you. Prepare your own meals.

That way you can weigh what you want and not involve your mum at all.

SergeantSausage

You don't know ... but you *can* find out, right?

lseed87

So true. I know if I lived alone I'd probably be my goal weight since it would mostly be 90% more healthy foods. Still eat good but like you, dinner can go either way.

pstegman888

If she knows you are preparing to move out, she may be willing to share her recipes/teach you to cook them so you can have a ready file to pull from once you are on your own...she hopefully will be flattered that you like her cooking so much you want to be able to make the same dishes (you can always adjust the recipes for lower cal once you are on your own or if you are able to prepare them for the family).

Alternatively, you can simply look up comparable recipes online & plug in those ingredients to your log, estimating your portion size. She may not make her lasagna or broccoli-chicken casserole or whatever exactly the same as AllRecipes or some other online site, but it should get you in the ballpark. Just adjust portions & load up on veggies depending on how your weight loss progresses. Once you're out on your own, you can do it your way.

Family dynamics can be a strange thing, especially with a "step" situation or a controlling personality, and sometimes for the sake of peace in the household, it's best not to make an issue out of a temporary setback. You have to do what you feel is right for the situation. Good luck!

kyrannosaurus

I moved home for 3 months when I was 19, I wasn't calorie counting, but I was an adult so I did my own grocery shopping and cooked my own meals. Just because I moved home didn't mean I needed to be a dependent again. I changed my schedule so that I ate earlier in the evening so that I was out of the kitchen by the time my aunt wanted to cook.

shabaity

I'm in a slightly different situation in that while I live with family as an adult I have more control over what I eat as I cook 1 night a week (it's the only night I'm home) and bring home dinner twice more. I see no point in eating and cooking for just one and really don't know how to but I know all the recipes my family uses and even created a few so I've got em set aside... so learn how to cook her food. Then you can do the recipes and at least semi accurately guesstimate how much you're eating.

kiela64

I'm in a similar situation - I'm living at home while going to school, going away is expensive!!! My mum has a history of disordered eating, and I was EXTREMELY worried about her opinion when I started trying to know what's in things. I've written down a few recipes, but I am mostly guessing a lot of the time.

I have some strategies so far - I make my own breakfast & lunch (I can't cook, so I have a lot of yogurt, toast, frozen veggies & fruits, etc). I add veggies to dinner and take away starches. I measure my rice or potatoes or pasta, and microwave some frozen veggies to add.

Meat, etc I really have to guess with. But I did speak with a dietician who showed me plastic models of for example 2oz of chicken, 1oz of cheese, etc which has helped me guesstimate.

I am also in a situation where my family would be highly uncomfortable if I weighed myself, let alone my food. But measuring cups are less intrusive, and I do this in the kitchen while making up the plate so it's also not in my mum's face. I also weigh myself not at home, like the gym or my doctor's office because scales make my mum anxious.

Merkavar

Sorry if this offends

But

Some of your families sound weird.

Uncomfortable about you weighing yourself? Feeling weird about weighing food? Keeping ingredients of foods secret?

Do you guys weigh yourself naked in the middle of the lounge room while your family is watching TV? I could see that making people uncomfortable