What counts as thin?
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Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.0
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It's not the label. It's at what point can I stop thinking of myself as chubby. And if I do keep thinking of myself as chubby, am I being silly.azulvioleta6 wrote: »Why does the label matter so much to you?
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But if he knows that you have a negative feeling about the word thin, it is natural for him to think that telling you that you aren't thin would make you happy.
You pretty much set him up to fail and then when he did, you got upset about it. Great partnering skills you have there.0 -
DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.
So, I'm a bit confused here then. If "thin" has a negative connotation where you are from, why is saying "You are not a thin person" a bad thing?0 -
Ask the doctor. How you look is something you cannot get a straight answer on from friends and family. They will always use nice words because they love/like you and it would seem mean to answer straight up. If they have any manners at all, they'll try not to answer the question and will then say something nice. I do it with my friends, too. Everyone does it.
Sme people get ridiculous with it and start saying you're thin/skinny long before you are. I just became a Normal BMI and as soon as I mentioned it, people went overboard with words like "skinny." I'm still fat and they're saying "skinny."
You can love them, but can't trust them, lol.
The doctor's job is to tell when you're too fat or too thin. So, ask next time you're there. You'll get an honest answer about whether you're weight is healthy or not. He isn't going to tell you how you look because that's creepy and he doesn't care about how you look. But he will tell you if you should or shouldn't lose more weight, He won't lie because doesn't care and it's his job to tell the truth.
YES! I get this all the time! I am still considered obese (I have to lose about 6lbs to get out of that category) and I have family calling me skinny. It's more like, "Wow, you're half the whale you used to be!"0 -
DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »
It's not the label. It's at what point can I stop thinking of myself as chubby. And if I do keep thinking of myself as chubby, am I being silly.azulvioleta6 wrote: »Why does the label matter so much to you?
You can stop thinking of yourself as chubby when YOU think you are at an appropriate weight. Why would your husband need to tell you this?0 -
My husband will randomly look at me and say, "You're so beautiful!" and when I'm worrying about weighing and measuring my food, he will comment, "You don't have to lose weight, I love how you look." This is because my husband loves the girl inside me. Not because he is wanting something. And also, because he has fallen for the "Am I fat?" trick before.0
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soapsandropes wrote: »Wow, your other half said kind of a jerk thing. Thin and slim are words that mean different things to different people. I personally consider parts of me thin and parts of me slim. However, I don't ask other people to categorize me, that way leads to hurt feelings. If you are happy then it doesn't matter.
Why does it make her partner a jerk? Because he/she isn't a liar? A bmi of 21 is not "thin" it's right in the middle of normMal and no where near skinny or slim or whatever unless you are rocking a really low body fat.
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DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »
It's not the label. It's at what point can I stop thinking of myself as chubby. And if I do keep thinking of myself as chubby, am I being silly.azulvioleta6 wrote: »Why does the label matter so much to you?
You can start thinking of yourself however you want, whenever you want. Besides, your body is not your SELF, it's just the shell that you are walking around in.
Honestly, if I were your boyfriend, I would be annoyed as heck to have to have to have this conversation with you.
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DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.
In my opinion your partner can not win with that question. Telling you you aren't thin isn't being "brutally" honesty, come on. You asked a tricky manipulative question and there is no winning in it for anyone. Move on from it or dwell on it and be miserable about the progress you have made. And keep in mind maybe your mom was the one lying or that has a distorted perception. My mom has thought that I'm wasting away every since I dropped below 115 and constantly tells me I look like I weigh 5 lbs. if I listened to anyone's opinion but my own I would trying to make them happy instead of myself.
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soapsandropes wrote: »
Why does it make her partner a jerk? Because he/she isn't a liar? A bmi of 21 is not "thin" it's right in the middle of normMal and no where near skinny or slim or whatever unless you are rocking a really low body fat.
I said that the comment was kind of a jerk comment, not that they were a jerk. It may be honest but it is kind of thoughtless. To put it in another context: You have a hobby that you worked really hard on a project, it took you months of work. You say "Hey look at this thing that I made isn't it great?" and they say "I could buy something better at the store". I think that her partner was discounting all of her hard work. I didn't say that it was meant to be mean spirited, and lying isn't good either. Since slim and thin are both so subjective why would you use those terms at all?0 -
40andFindingFitness wrote: »I think in general that men and women view "thin" differently. I know a guy who thinks anything size 12 and under is too thin and another who thinks a six is "getting fat". Most women I know are ecstatic to be a six to 10 so.. I don't know.
I would have to agree. I don't know what sizes can be consider thin or the other way around.
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soapsandropes wrote: »
And if it sucked I would fully want the world to be honest with me especially my partner of all people. Just because you work hard doesn't entitle you to credit results haven't achieved yet. You get credit for what you have done. If you don't want the real answer don't ask.soapsandropes wrote: »
Why does it make her partner a jerk? Because he/she isn't a liar? A bmi of 21 is not "thin" it's right in the middle of normMal and no where near skinny or slim or whatever unless you are rocking a really low body fat.
I said that the comment was kind of a jerk comment, not that they were a jerk. It may be honest but it is kind of thoughtless. To put it in another context: You have a hobby that you worked really hard on a project, it took you months of work. You say "Hey look at this thing that I made isn't it great?" and they say "I could buy something better at the store". I think that her partner was discounting all of her hard work. I didn't say that it was meant to be mean spirited, and lying isn't good either. Since slim and thin are both so subjective why would you use those terms at all?0 -
DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.
Huh?
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DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.
If he knew your mother was freaking you out calling you skinny then he probably thought he was giving you the answer you wanted. This is the classic no win situation for your boyfriend.
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Question: Do scales in the UK actually give weight in "stones" or does one have to do the math in one's head? As an American, don't I have the God-given Right to not have to multiply and/or divide by 14 (stone) or 2.2 (kg) just to understand what the rest of the world is talking about? I'll have to check our long list of God-given American Rights, but I'm sure that's in there somewhere.0
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As you can tell from this thread, guys HATE this question. Especially guys who haven't been through it before and had a good outcome.
As a guy how you look after you've been gardening in cutoffs and your hair is all stringy and you're drenched in sweat. 99 times out of 100, you'll hear, "Fine."
As them how you look after you just had your hair done and a mani/pedi and have slipped into the most gorgeous dress on
the planet: "Fine."
This is why God invented best friends. Best friends will say, "Oh, my god, you look gorgeous. That is the PERFECT shade dress! I love it! And it's so pretty while being just the right amount of cute. No, not teenage at all. It's beautiful. I can see why you'd worry, but no. It's perfect. It's like you were born to wear this dress. That much? So what?! You deserve it. You look fantastic. And those shoes are amazing. Where did you get them? And you hair! The highlights look good. They totally blend with your hair and skin. Did you get lowlights, too?"
I'd you get more than "Fine", be glad. One day, it will be the answer to every single question about how anything looks. New bathroom curtains? Fine. The flowers you've slaved over? "Fine." Stain on the wall? "Fine." Everything will be "Fine."0 -
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SingRunTing wrote: »DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »The thing is a lot of my friends and people I meet at races, sociable things etc are very good runners and many of them are extremely thin compared to most people, almost certainly underweight. I think I'm comparing myself to them. I can pinch a lot more than an inch lol!
How do you know they are underweight? You can't tell someone's weight just by looking at them. People who have a higher muscle mass and lower body fat can look really thin, but weigh more than you think.
Case in point:
This is great!0 -
As you can tell from this thread, guys HATE this question. Especially guys who haven't been through it before and had a good outcome.
As a guy how you look after you've been gardening in cutoffs and your hair is all stringy and you're drenched in sweat. 99 times out of 100, you'll hear, "Fine."
As them how you look after you just had your hair done and a mani/pedi and have slipped into the most gorgeous dress on
the planet: "Fine."
This is why God invented best friends. Best friends will say, "Oh, my god, you look gorgeous. That is the PERFECT shade dress! I love it! And it's so pretty while being just the right amount of cute. No, not teenage at all. It's beautiful. I can see why you'd worry, but no. It's perfect. It's like you were born to wear this dress. That much? So what?! You deserve it. You look fantastic. And those shoes are amazing. Where did you get them? And you hair! The highlights look good. They totally blend with your hair and skin. Did you get lowlights, too?"
I'd you get more than "Fine", be glad. One day, it will be the answer to every single question about how anything looks. New bathroom curtains? Fine. The flowers you've slaved over? "Fine." Stain on the wall? "Fine." Everything will be "Fine."
Ha,ha,....too funny!0 -
I consider myself thin. I am 5'9" and 130lbs. many people tell me I am skinny or tell me to eat a cheeseburger. There is no set number of what makes you thin, just a comparison. So it really depends on what you compare it to.0
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Question: Do scales in the UK actually give weight in "stones" or does one have to do the math in one's head? As an American, don't I have the God-given Right to not have to multiply and/or divide by 14 (stone) or 2.2 (kg) just to understand what the rest of the world is talking about? I'll have to check our long list of God-given American Rights, but I'm sure that's in there somewhere.
I know you're being sarcastic, but just in case anyone wanted to know... scales here go by whatever you want them to. You can set them to tell you your weight in stones and pounds, pounds only, or kg.
OP, what I've found is that it's harder for someone who's tall to be regarded as 'thin' or 'slim', especially if you have a big bone structure. I'm 5'7 with very wide hips and I doubt I'll ever get to a point where I'll be considered slim/thin unless I'm underweight, which I certainly don't want to be. Though there are of course plenty of people who are tall and don't have a big bone structure, so it sort of depends on that. But at your current BMI... I doubt you're 'cuddly' as your husband puts it.0 -
Different cultures have different meaning to those terms. For me personally, slim and trim means skinny/trimmed like size 00-3. Then normal to me is 4-8. Anything above that is chubby fluffy. But those terms are for my body and height and what I think of myself
That's ridiculous. Height and frame size make a BIG difference. I'm nearly 6' tall and a size 4 could never be normal for me--it's just not physically possible unless you have a really tiny frame.0 -
It depends on how you are built, so BMI isn't necessarily the only thing you need. But...in general, I think women at a BMI of 21 look "average" or "healthy". I wouldn't use the words thin or slim for most of them. Some look very good, and some still look a little chunky to me and should lose a few pounds (in my opinion!!!). There are exceptions...typically for people who are mostly muscle with very low body fat. If you have any kind of bulge around the waist, or any areas that are still a little larger than you like, then I would most likely not call you slim/thin (they mean the same thing to me).
I'm at a BMI of 24 right now. While I know that is healthy, and I think I look pretty good, there is no way I would describe myself as slim or thin. And I have much broader shoulders than most women, so that weight is distributed over a probably slightly above average frame size. However...I still have too much fat in the waist and upper arms, and I still want to lose a few more pounds. Until my waist size is where it should be, I can't use the word thin to describe myself.
FYI, I do agree with the person above who said friends and loved ones can't necessarily be relied upon to give honest feedback. For example, several of my friends have recently called me "skinny". That is ridiculous, but I know they are just being nice and encouraging since I have lost so much. Most people just want to make you feel good, and those who are honest know they might get their heads bitten off if the person doesn't want genuine feedback but is instead just fishing for compliments. LOL!
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DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.
They mean the same thing. Personally, I see no difference and would not be offended by any of them. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question. Don't complain because someone didn't lie to you or use the exact words you were looking for.0 -
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Dave_GettingFit wrote: »DeborahKilpatrick wrote: »Yeah, but there's honesty and there's brutal honesty! I don't want to be lied to, but something like 'You look great and you're doing really well, but you're not skinny' or something would have been fine. Even 'You're doing well but you still have a bit to go' would have been better than 'You are not a thin person' lol.
If he knew your mother was freaking you out calling you skinny then he probably thought he was giving you the answer you wanted. This is the classic no win situation for your boyfriend.
That's exactly what I'm saying. This is how I imagine this conversation...
OP: My mom told me I'm on the slim side of thin? [frown face] Do you think I'm thin?
BF: [frown face = bad. This one is easy--I know how to respond!] You are not thin.
OP: [bigger frown face]
BF: ?0 -
I had a bf tell me I wasnt exactly petite
hahaha 0 -
Correction: IMHO "Dont ask a guy because......."BasicGreatGuy wrote: »
If a lady is asking a question under the pretense of wanting honesty when she really only wants to hear what she wants to hear, that is her fault and problem, in my opinion.dolliesdaughter wrote: »Don't ask a guy because you will never hear what you want to hear, or think you should hear. It is always a set up. I wish guys would stop falling for that trick question.
Not all guys are the same. So, the "Don't ask a guy because..." is not a logical statement.
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