Help exiting the spiral of doom and discouragement

wanderinglight

This is a cry for help. I truly do not know what else to do to get myself on track and I am so very discouraged.

I'm 44 years old and 40lbs overweight. For most of my adult life I have been fit and in shape. The combination of consistent, varied exercise and eating well has been a priority for me for as long as I can remember. I have been working out since I was a teenager and it is a big part of my life. Or at least it used to be.

Everything seemed good until about three years ago, give or take 10lbs. I had an accident, and several major back to back surgeries. I was very down on myself. I did all the physical therapy and came through on the other side mostly healed but with some serious limitations. I jumped back on the figurative horse, and focused on my diet more than my exercise, since that was the one thing I could really control. I am still trying to figure out what the "new normal" is for myself for exercise. All I know is that I can no longer do the things that I once loved (hiking, walking, yoga, Tabata style workouts, interval workouts, heavy lifting). I have lost my love of good, hard exercise. It just hurts too much these days. I gave up on exercise except for the most gentle things.

So I cut out sugar and stopped eating after 7:30, thinking that since diet is SO important for losing weight that that would jump start things. I've always loved to swim, and I added that in to my plan. I kept within my calories (but never starvation mode) and got 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day. I did that for two months straight. For almost a year now I have cut out processed foods and limited my sugar. The scale did not budge at all, and my clothes were still as tight as ever. I am completely losing heart. I wonder if this is the weight my body wants to be, and it's going to keep me at it no matter what. I told myself that I'm lucky to be alive after my accident, and that maybe that should be enough. I know this is why I probably gained the weight in the first place...by deciding that I deserved to treat myself...nonstop. And I guess that was okay for a little bit. But the fact is...I am happiest when I feel good about myself. Right now I don't feel good. I know I'm not at my best -- not even close -- and it feels like there is an uncrossable gulf from where I am to where I want to be.

Today I was at the doctor for knee pain, and he said "wow, you're big for an Italian girl!" I usually hear "tall," not "big." I looked at some photos of myself and it's true. I look wide and big. My waist is gone. Fat has settled in places where I haven't had it before. I have wanted to cry all afternoon. Crying usually leads to some sort of plan of action, but not this time.

I know that if I could lose this weight that some of my lingering post-surgery health issues would really diminish (especially my back pain). But I truly don't know what to do to make it happen. Should I try something drastic with my diet? Force myself to work out hard even though I really know deep down that it might not be the best idea? Should I just keep putting one foot forward and hope that a year from now something will change and I'll see results?

Has anyone been in this boat and succeeded? Has anyone gone months after changing something drastic in diet or exercise only to see no change at all? Or have you stuck with it and seen it slowly change? I just wish I could hear some words that would give me hope.

Thanks for listening.

MelodyandBarbells

Hi!

Meal timing and processing level of food can be tweaked to your individual preference. However, if you want to lose weight, you simply need to be consuming less calories than you burn. Have you done an honest to goodness food log for at least six straight weeks using a food scale, and no skipped days? Even if you don't lose weight, at the very minimum you will get the full picture of your diet, and some possible ideas on what to tweak to lower your overall calorie intake

Glad you're getting back into swimming. Has it been fun?

Read this, If you have not already:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1

wanderinglight

JaneiR36 wrote: »

Hi!

Meal timing and processing level of food can be tweaked to your individual preference. However, if you want to lose weight, you simply need to be consuming less calories than you burn. Have you done an honest to goodness food log for at least six straight weeks using a food scale, and no skipped days? Even if you don't lose weight, at the very minimum you will get the full picture of your diet, and some possible ideas on what to tweak to lower your overall calorie intake

Glad you're getting back into swimming. Has it been fun?

Read this, If you have not already:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1

Thanks for your post. I was doing a bit of wallowing...woke up with more resolve today to simply do one day at a time. Thank you for that link -- I had never read it and found it so helpful. I will say, in all my years of counting calories, I've never used a scale and I'm realizing that I might be deluding myself with what I'm consuming.

I'm starting 6 weeks of weighing everything -- EVERYTHING -- today.

Thanks for the encouragement.

I love swimming! I just have to find a way to go more often and then find an indoor pool for winter

dallyho

Hi Your post is very familiar as back surgery has limited me too. Add me as a friend . I don't know all the answers but I will share my experiences and successes with you.

editorgrrl

wanderinglight wrote: »

I cut out sugar and stopped eating after 7:30, thinking that since diet is SO important for losing weight that that would jumpstart things. For almost a year now I have cut out processed foods and limited my sugar. The scale did not budge at all, and my clothes were still as tight as ever.

Should I try something drastic with my diet? Force myself to work out hard even though I really know deep down that it might not be the best idea?

You lose weight by eating fewer calories than you burn—period. You talk about what you eat and when you eat, but all that really matters is how much you eat.

Exercise for fitness; log to lose weight. If you learn to log everything you eat & drink accurately and honestly, you will lose weight.

I'm in my 40s, and I lost 40 lbs. by following the advice in the Sexypants post: https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

Logging is simple, but it ain't easy. Logging works.