First time I've ever had to justify continued weight loss!!

chunkytfg

For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!

I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.

Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.

It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!

In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.

DeguelloTex

I'm starting to get some of that. I still have plenty of fat to lose. I don't bother trying to argue or justify it.

ETA: I'm pretty tall, as well. I've gone from 335 to 213. That's a little further than I meant to go, so maybe I'll be eating more soon.

AspenDan

330 to 230? That's basically my goal, I was 337. Just made it back under 300, at 296 now..super stoked!!

Thanks for sharing!

robspot

Congrats on the 12 hours, awesome time!

Btw, just read your profile about the wheels. I have a brand new S-Works Roubaix sat in the corner of my office with a weight limit of 17.5 stone. I've promised myself I won't ride it until I make the weight.

Francl27

It never stops unfortunately. Try to shrug it off.

dinsfamily

Congrats on the IM!! You IM'ers amaze me. I get the comments too just going from the high end of normal BMI to the mid-normal BMI. I think people get used to seeing you look a certain way.

Liftng4Lis

Way to get it!

acorsaut89

chunkytfg wrote: »

For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!

I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.

Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.

It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!

In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.

First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!

Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.

I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.

Keep being awesome, though way to rock the ironman

atypicalsmith

I was at the perfect weight all my life until I quit smoking in 2004. Then I gained about 30 pounds. I lost 17 of them, then moved to another state in 2005 and then immediately gained back all of it back plus another 30 or so pounds. Everyone in my current state says I don't need to lose weight but the one time I went back to my former state you could see the aghast look in their eyes. I've lost nearly 30 pounds so far, with 35 to go, and I am not justifying that to anyone here!!! I need to be ME again!

ladyrixx

acorsaut89 wrote: »

Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.

I recently had that conversation with the daughter of a friend. We're both dieting, and at the moment we weigh about the same. After going "how the h3ll do you weigh the same as me?!?" I did the "oh yeah, you're a foot taller than me..."

Kalikel

People think that it's nice to say stuff like that. "More?! You want to lose more?!" like they're shocked that someone who is fat wants to lose weight.

When I was about forty pounds down and said I wanted to lose at least 100, total, someone said, "Oh, no, you cannot have that much to lose!" She knew it wasn't true, but said it all the same.

Why ask if you're just going to lie when you hear the answer? I don't know. But that's what they do.

Just keep doing your thing. You're doing great!!

strong_curves

I hear from people all the time "But you are already skinny/in shape/thin" but I wasn't I was skinny fat and could stand to lose the 15 lbs I gained. I just ignore it mostly.

getupandgo877

I'm not sure why people ask, "are you still trying to lose weight?" I would ignore it, only you know what's healthy and right for you.

JoRocka

Congrats on the competition! that's most excellent.

Unfortunately most people will find something to complain about - gain- or lose- they have something to say about it- get used to it. I've never been fat- not really. I've been plush- but always reasonably fit- and people still feel the need to give you their two very "kind" and thoughtful cents on what they think YOU should be doing with you're body.

Keep on kicking butt and don't worry about the rest- it's just not that relevant!!

acorsaut89

ladyrixx wrote: »

acorsaut89 wrote: »

Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.

I recently had that conversation with the daughter of a friend. We're both dieting, and at the moment we weigh about the same. After going "how the h3ll do you weigh the same as me?!?" I did the "oh yeah, you're a foot taller than me..."

Yeh body composition accounts for a lot for sure . . . it can be tough because all you have is how someone looks to you but you have no idea how much lean muscle mass they have and how much fat.

karyabc

That moment when everyone around you keep telling you, you are skinny... Um yeah 220 lbs at 5'5 and I'm like you haven't see skinny' yet #SitAndWait

You keep doing you, congrats on your weightloss!

lorrpb

Ironman very impressive! Having gone from 301 to 199(!!) I get that too, even from my trainer a little bit, but it's my body and I know what I need to do. Part of it is that because of all my strength training I have good proportions and an "hourglass" figure (said by others), but the hourglass is still too big around!! As others have said, thank them for compliments and just keep going. Great job!

MSDave

You all are so awesome. I've lost 37 lb so far after starting out over 300. I'm just walking now but have cut 5 minutes off the time (3 miles), and recovery time is a lot quicker. Good things to look forward to.

Domicinator

It's super frustrating. I'm nowhere near what could be considered a "healthy weight". I have about 36 more lbs. to go before I hit my goal. I look better in clothes and I'm wearing a size L tshirt instead of a size XXL now, but I still have a lot of belly fat to lose and I won't be satisfied until that's gone.

Over the weekend we had a family gathering on my wife's side of the family. The VERY FIRST thing someone said to me when we walked in was, "Hey, how much more chemo do you have left to go? You're wasting away to nothing!"

First of all, I don't find it funny to joke about chemo--there are real people out there every day suffering through chemo and losing weight is a lot easier than what they're going through.

Second of all, this mentality is what got me here in the first place. I am too heavy. I am bad at saying no to food. Today I am saying no. I don't need a second pile of lunch meat on my plate. One sandwich is enough. And one dessert is enough, thanks. I know Aunt Matilda made 6 different kinds of pie, but I only need one piece, and if I turn a second piece down, please stop bugging me about it.

This is all just people trying to bring you down to their level. You have to press on.

pbryd

I'm a 5'6" male who currently weighs 130lb with a 30.5" waist. I've avoided telling anyone other than my immediate family that I'm counting calories to get a six pack 'cos even my family think I'm crackers.

Ironmaiden4life

Get used to it OP and trust me it gets worse! Do the polite smile, think about something else while they waffle on and then continue on your merry way. Oh And start mentally preparing for the ' you're losing too much, I think you looked so much better when you were a little heavier'

Congrats on the Ironman, keeping kicking butt and taking names

Unknown

This content has been removed.

khhregister

Domicinator wrote: »

It's super frustrating. I'm nowhere near what could be considered a "healthy weight". I have about 36 more lbs. to go before I hit my goal.
...
Second of all, this mentality is what got me here in the first place. I am too heavy. I am bad at saying no to food. Today I am saying no. I don't need a second pile of lunch meat on my plate. One sandwich is enough. And one dessert is enough, thanks. I know Aunt Matilda made 6 different kinds of pie, but I only need one piece, and if I turn a second piece down, please stop bugging me about it.

This is all just people trying to bring you down to their level. You have to press on.

Spot on. My goal is so clear in my mind - I was there before, I can get there again if I focus. The only time I get flustered is when I'm in a situation where someone else's rude behavior is forcing me to say "No" over and over again (politely, firmly, and finally angrily).

Why in the hell do relatives that we visit think we need several desserts a day? Makes me CRAZY.

chunkytfg

Firstly thanks for the comments. Glad to know I'm not alone. It took me really by surprise as it is not something I ever thought about having to do.

It was kind of funny at the time as of the group I was sat with a couple kept very quiet and seemed almost a little uncomfortable with the way the topic was going. I know I have more to go to even get into the 'overweight' section of the BMI scale(don't! I know it's a bit meaningless but it is at least a bit of a measure as to how you're doing!) let alone be considered of the correct weight!

I will admit that I am fully comfortable with my current size and if it wasn't for my athletic aspirations I would probably aim to maintain my weight but by no means am I what you would consider skinny or even slim!

I guess the comment Caitlwn said about overweight being the norm now rings true in these situations.

KateTii

I think people are much more accepting of bigger bodies now and that has led to people believing that if you want to lose weight you must not love yourself. You should always love yourself, but there is nothing wrong with accepting that you can stand to lose some weight. I had a lot of trouble when I started, I was one of the "skinny" girls in the office. (I hate that word). When I started, I was a healthy weight, but knew there was changes to be made. If I didn't change my diet, one day I would be overweight, it was as simple as that.

I got a ton of "Why, you're already so little", "Don't get unhealthy on us now!", "Oh god you want to lose more??", "Are you suuuuuuuure you don't want some of this delicious greasy hash brown?" (While waving said food under my nose one morning before I had a chance to eat my breakfast I had planned and was starving).

I would tell them that I was losing weight but would build it back up again in muscle and that I knew what I was doing. That shut them up pretty quickly.

I really sympathise with those who were overweight, lost so much and are doing really really well and then get told not to waste away to nothing... Wonder if it's part of the yo-yo dieting thing a lot of people struggle with.

acorsaut89

KateTii wrote: »

I think people are much more accepting of bigger bodies now and that has led to people believing that if you want to lose weight you must not love yourself. You should always love yourself, but there is nothing wrong with accepting that you can stand to lose some weight. I had a lot of trouble when I started, I was one of the "skinny" girls in the office. (I hate that word). When I started, I was a healthy weight, but knew there was changes to be made. If I didn't change my diet, one day I would be overweight, it was as simple as that.

I got a ton of "Why, you're already so little", "Don't get unhealthy on us now!", "Oh god you want to lose more??", "Are you suuuuuuuure you don't want some of this delicious greasy hash brown?" (While waving said food under my nose one morning before I had a chance to eat my breakfast I had planned and was starving).

I would tell them that I was losing weight but would build it back up again in muscle and that I knew what I was doing. That shut them up pretty quickly.

I really sympathise with those who were overweight, lost so much and are doing really really well and then get told not to waste away to nothing... Wonder if it's part of the yo-yo dieting thing a lot of people struggle with.

I think a lot of people in your life get used to knowing you at a certain size . . . like I was 340lbs for at least a year, probably more like 2 and pushing 300+ lbs for like a good two years before that. I've always been big - I'm 5'10ish I'm not petite and I'm ok with that. However I remember my ex telling me when day when we were arguing about something really important I'm sure (lol) that he did not find me as attractive now that I was smaller. I don't know if it was because he was super insecure and thought that me losing weight meant I was going to go find someone else - which it didn't, that isn't what ended our relationship - but him saying that made me feel super crappy about myself. I hard worked sooooo hard - not just dieting, but fitness wise too - and he was going to say it didn't mean anything and he isn't attracted to me anymore?

Anyways - went on a little rant there lol - I feel like because the people in your life are so used to seeing you at whatever size they feel you should just always be that size otherwise it's like they don't know you or you'll somehow change.

Also, what someone else said about crabs in the bucket is very, very true - a lot of people cannot stand to see another person succeed at something they can't (or won't) do for themselves. They hate it when someone else has more drive, dedication, commitment and they are stuck in whatever. It can take a lot to get over that kind of hump but hopefully it won't drag too many people down.

LovingLife_Erin

Congrats on doing so well!

When I first started, I told some friends that my initial goal was 80 lb lost (knowing I would need to lose 50-60 more after). Several of them were concerned that I was planning to lose so much and that I was setting a very aggressive goal for myself. I had to be honest and tell them that I could lose 150 lbs and be no where near a dangerously low BMI as I was over 300 lbs to start. I'm now 89 lbs down and still visibly overweight so I think when we discuss my weight loss goals now, they understand that I actually do that have much to lose and I'm not setting unhealthy goals for myself. For many people, I think they just hear a number and don't really understand what it means. I also agree with those who said that people are used to seeing someone a certain way and so their perception is off, or they get jealous of success.

ColinsMommaOC

I am not where you all are yet, just ~13 lbs lost, but I already know how my family will react when I tell them how much I want to lose. My dad (who I love dearly) is the worst about this kind of thing. He is always telling me I need to take better care of myself and start losing weight, then we go out to dinner and he harps on how I am starving myself... (1600 cals a day is not starving!) I can only see this getting worse as I lose more weight... It is nice knowing that I will not be the only one dealing with this kind of attitude.

alfiedn

Great work! People are surprised when I tell them I have another 15 to lose. I just tell them that's where the doctor wants to see me in my BMI for my condition (I have PCOS). Shuts them up fast. I'm not overweight anymore, although I had been slightly overweight. Definitely losing another 15 will not make me unhealthy and could, in fact, make me healthier!

mbaker566

a lot of people don't understand where I work. they think I'm fine or their goal weight is my current weight and so they think I should be happy there too. but it's not the right weight for me. I don't feel healthy here and I'm still covered in a layer of fat that is thicker than it needs to be.

bkate24

I'm between 5'7" and 5'8" and whenever I'm around 145 lbs, my mom starts telling me I'm too thin or making veiled comments about how I'm "getting so skinny, where are your boobs!" (which is a really rude comment to make anyway). Now I agree 145 is not overweight for my height, but it's certainly not too thin! Also as I've said in another thread, up until now in my life I've had very very low muscle tone, so it certainly wasn't like I was 145 but super muscular and lacking fat.

Anyway this kind of comment really bothers me too. I don't see why random people feel they have the right to make comments on other people's bodies if they're not that person's actual doctor. I see my weight on the scale, I know my own body . . . if I'm overweight I know it, and if I'm not I know that too. I don't need some person's comments, particularly when they don't have the information/knowledge to have, well, an informed opinion!