First time I've ever had to justify continued weight loss!!
Options
Replies
-
Domicinator wrote: »It's super frustrating. I'm nowhere near what could be considered a "healthy weight". I have about 36 more lbs. to go before I hit my goal.
...
Second of all, this mentality is what got me here in the first place. I am too heavy. I am bad at saying no to food. Today I am saying no. I don't need a second pile of lunch meat on my plate. One sandwich is enough. And one dessert is enough, thanks. I know Aunt Matilda made 6 different kinds of pie, but I only need one piece, and if I turn a second piece down, please stop bugging me about it.
This is all just people trying to bring you down to their level. You have to press on.
Spot on. My goal is so clear in my mind - I was there before, I can get there again if I focus. The only time I get flustered is when I'm in a situation where someone else's rude behavior is forcing me to say "No" over and over again (politely, firmly, and finally angrily).
Why in the hell do relatives that we visit think we need several desserts a day? Makes me CRAZY.
0 -
Firstly thanks for the comments. Glad to know I'm not alone. It took me really by surprise as it is not something I ever thought about having to do.
It was kind of funny at the time as of the group I was sat with a couple kept very quiet and seemed almost a little uncomfortable with the way the topic was going. I know I have more to go to even get into the 'overweight' section of the BMI scale(don't! I know it's a bit meaningless but it is at least a bit of a measure as to how you're doing!) let alone be considered of the correct weight!
I will admit that I am fully comfortable with my current size and if it wasn't for my athletic aspirations I would probably aim to maintain my weight but by no means am I what you would consider skinny or even slim!
I guess the comment Caitlwn said about overweight being the norm now rings true in these situations.0 -
I think people are much more accepting of bigger bodies now and that has led to people believing that if you want to lose weight you must not love yourself. You should always love yourself, but there is nothing wrong with accepting that you can stand to lose some weight. I had a lot of trouble when I started, I was one of the "skinny" girls in the office. (I hate that word). When I started, I was a healthy weight, but knew there was changes to be made. If I didn't change my diet, one day I would be overweight, it was as simple as that.
I got a ton of "Why, you're already so little", "Don't get unhealthy on us now!", "Oh god you want to lose more??", "Are you suuuuuuuure you don't want some of this delicious greasy hash brown?" (While waving said food under my nose one morning before I had a chance to eat my breakfast I had planned and was starving).
I would tell them that I was losing weight but would build it back up again in muscle and that I knew what I was doing. That shut them up pretty quickly.
I really sympathise with those who were overweight, lost so much and are doing really really well and then get told not to waste away to nothing... Wonder if it's part of the yo-yo dieting thing a lot of people struggle with.0 -
I think people are much more accepting of bigger bodies now and that has led to people believing that if you want to lose weight you must not love yourself. You should always love yourself, but there is nothing wrong with accepting that you can stand to lose some weight. I had a lot of trouble when I started, I was one of the "skinny" girls in the office. (I hate that word). When I started, I was a healthy weight, but knew there was changes to be made. If I didn't change my diet, one day I would be overweight, it was as simple as that.
I got a ton of "Why, you're already so little", "Don't get unhealthy on us now!", "Oh god you want to lose more??", "Are you suuuuuuuure you don't want some of this delicious greasy hash brown?" (While waving said food under my nose one morning before I had a chance to eat my breakfast I had planned and was starving).
I would tell them that I was losing weight but would build it back up again in muscle and that I knew what I was doing. That shut them up pretty quickly.
I really sympathise with those who were overweight, lost so much and are doing really really well and then get told not to waste away to nothing... Wonder if it's part of the yo-yo dieting thing a lot of people struggle with.
I think a lot of people in your life get used to knowing you at a certain size . . . like I was 340lbs for at least a year, probably more like 2 and pushing 300+ lbs for like a good two years before that. I've always been big - I'm 5'10ish I'm not petite and I'm ok with that. However I remember my ex telling me when day when we were arguing about something really important I'm sure (lol) that he did not find me as attractive now that I was smaller. I don't know if it was because he was super insecure and thought that me losing weight meant I was going to go find someone else - which it didn't, that isn't what ended our relationship - but him saying that made me feel super crappy about myself. I hard worked sooooo hard - not just dieting, but fitness wise too - and he was going to say it didn't mean anything and he isn't attracted to me anymore?
Anyways - went on a little rant there lol - I feel like because the people in your life are so used to seeing you at whatever size they feel you should just always be that size otherwise it's like they don't know you or you'll somehow change.
Also, what someone else said about crabs in the bucket is very, very true - a lot of people cannot stand to see another person succeed at something they can't (or won't) do for themselves. They hate it when someone else has more drive, dedication, commitment and they are stuck in whatever. It can take a lot to get over that kind of hump but hopefully it won't drag too many people down.
0 -
Congrats on doing so well!
When I first started, I told some friends that my initial goal was 80 lb lost (knowing I would need to lose 50-60 more after). Several of them were concerned that I was planning to lose so much and that I was setting a very aggressive goal for myself. I had to be honest and tell them that I could lose 150 lbs and be no where near a dangerously low BMI as I was over 300 lbs to start. I'm now 89 lbs down and still visibly overweight so I think when we discuss my weight loss goals now, they understand that I actually do that have much to lose and I'm not setting unhealthy goals for myself. For many people, I think they just hear a number and don't really understand what it means. I also agree with those who said that people are used to seeing someone a certain way and so their perception is off, or they get jealous of success.0 -
I am not where you all are yet, just ~13 lbs lost, but I already know how my family will react when I tell them how much I want to lose. My dad (who I love dearly) is the worst about this kind of thing. He is always telling me I need to take better care of myself and start losing weight, then we go out to dinner and he harps on how I am starving myself... (1600 cals a day is not starving!) I can only see this getting worse as I lose more weight... It is nice knowing that I will not be the only one dealing with this kind of attitude.0
-
Great work! People are surprised when I tell them I have another 15 to lose. I just tell them that's where the doctor wants to see me in my BMI for my condition (I have PCOS). Shuts them up fast. I'm not overweight anymore, although I had been slightly overweight. Definitely losing another 15 will not make me unhealthy and could, in fact, make me healthier!0
-
a lot of people don't understand where I work. they think I'm fine or their goal weight is my current weight and so they think I should be happy there too. but it's not the right weight for me. I don't feel healthy here and I'm still covered in a layer of fat that is thicker than it needs to be.0
-
I'm between 5'7" and 5'8" and whenever I'm around 145 lbs, my mom starts telling me I'm too thin or making veiled comments about how I'm "getting so skinny, where are your boobs!" (which is a really rude comment to make anyway). Now I agree 145 is not overweight for my height, but it's certainly not too thin! Also as I've said in another thread, up until now in my life I've had very very low muscle tone, so it certainly wasn't like I was 145 but super muscular and lacking fat.
Anyway this kind of comment really bothers me too. I don't see why random people feel they have the right to make comments on other people's bodies if they're not that person's actual doctor. I see my weight on the scale, I know my own body . . . if I'm overweight I know it, and if I'm not I know that too. I don't need some person's comments, particularly when they don't have the information/knowledge to have, well, an informed opinion!0 -
Awesome progress, and and ironman? Fantastic!!!
Along with crabs in the bucket mentality, lets not forget how the insecure feel safer when there is someone who 'obviously' has 'bigger' (no, this is not what I feel) issues then them in the room! You loosing weight is removing their safety blanket!
0 -
I had to add on again, because I thought of another super frustrating thing I keep running into: people telling me how weight loss doesn't work for them, and then spend 15 minutes giving me some BS about their metabolism or some ailment they have.
At a different family gathering several weeks ago, one of my cousins said to me, "I've been using a Fitbit, but it's not doing any good. Losing weight just doesn't work for me." I've probably said to people at LEAST a dozen times now, "Well, you can't just USE the Fitbit, you have to DO something with the data it provides."
Whenever I walk into a big crowd of people I know, I somehow become their counselor on why they can't lose weight. They see me, they notice the huge difference in my size and shape, and they feel bad about themselves. Rather than take it as inspiration, they use it as an opportunity to justify their lifestyle to me.
At first I was annoyed by it, but now I just think it's sad. As a society in the US, we have collectively decided that it's totally ok to be fat.0 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!
I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.
Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.
It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!
In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.
First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!
Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.
I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.
Keep being awesome, though
way to rock the ironman
I am 5'11" and 273 lbs. So when I tell people I need to lose 90-100lbs they freak out. "You don't need to lose THAT much," or " You are too hard on yourself." Listen folks, if you knew me when I was 170 you would realize that is at the top of my healthy weight bracket. Lol. I have lost 80lbs before and people just have a very hard time accepting your transformation. As much as we would all like to deny it we all associate who we and people we know are by their looks. So what I'm saying is I totally know what you are saying word for word.0 -
kaitlinclipper7 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!
I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.
Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.
It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!
In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.
First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!
Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.
I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.
Keep being awesome, though way to rock the ironman
I am 5'11" and 273 lbs. So when I tell people I need to lose 90-100lbs they freak out. "You don't need to lose THAT much," or " You are too hard on yourself." Listen folks, if you knew me when I was 170 you would realize that is at the top of my healthy weight bracket. Lol. I have lost 80lbs before and people just have a very hard time accepting your transformation. As much as we would all like to deny it we all associate who we and people we know are by their looks. So what I'm saying is I totally know what you are saying word for word.
Whenever people did this to me, I assumed it's because they think they (or their sister or mother or daughter, etc) looks about my size and they hate to think that they (or their daughter, etc) is 100 lbs overweight. That they're a failure because their loved one is overweight.
OR they know they're 100 lbs overweight, and when you say YOU'RE 100 lbs overweight they think themselves "Is that how fat _I_ look?!?" (please note I'm not saying anyone here looks fat. I'm saying people can sometimes see fat on others but not on themselves or their loved ones)
By you saying you need to lose that much, it's holding up a mirror to them, and they don't like what they see.0 -
kaitlinclipper7 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!
I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.
Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.
It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!
In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.
First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!
Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.
I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.
Keep being awesome, though way to rock the ironman
I am 5'11" and 273 lbs. So when I tell people I need to lose 90-100lbs they freak out. "You don't need to lose THAT much," or " You are too hard on yourself." Listen folks, if you knew me when I was 170 you would realize that is at the top of my healthy weight bracket. Lol. I have lost 80lbs before and people just have a very hard time accepting your transformation. As much as we would all like to deny it we all associate who we and people we know are by their looks. So what I'm saying is I totally know what you are saying word for word.
Whenever people did this to me, I assumed it's because they think they (or their sister or mother or daughter, etc) looks about my size and they hate to think that they (or their daughter, etc) is 100 lbs overweight. That they're a failure because their loved one is overweight.
OR they know they're 100 lbs overweight, and when you say YOU'RE 100 lbs overweight they think themselves "Is that how fat _I_ look?!?" (please note I'm not saying anyone here looks fat. I'm saying people can sometimes see fat on others but not on themselves or their loved ones)
By you saying you need to lose that much, it's holding up a mirror to them, and they don't like what they see.
I definitely think you've uncovered something here . . . but I think also if even people do think this way, they don't associate or take into account that I might be 6 inches taller or have a different body composition.
A lot of people put so much value on weight and that isn't always the best way to look at things. Sure I weigh 260lbs, but I'm also 5'10 and I work out 6 days/week. I am solid and built like a brick *kitten* house . . . so no I'm not super flabby. You might only weigh 225 but you're 5'2 and never work out. There's going to a huge difference in how our bodies look. However most people do not take this into account at all and they just think this is what xxxlbs should look like. Or if you're over 200 then it's like OMG you need to keep losing but maybe you're tall and your BF might be 32% . . . that's pretty close to healthy. It's all relative. Also people do not always want to hear the truth. Like sometimes my work out sucks, and usually it's because my eating isn't super tight. Do I want to hear that? No but it's honest and I have no one to blame but myself.
0 -
Back when I lost 60+ pounds people used to always tell me "You look good but don't get any skinnier". I was 5'4" and 140lbs. Healthy but by no means skinny or anywhere near being 'too skinny'. People are so ignorant and rude. It's pretty disheartening to lose a bunch of weight to feel better about yourself and people will still find a way to make you feel bad.0
-
Maybe it is a concern about an eating disorder but I have people caution me about not getting too thin when I am clearly still obese. If they knew how much discipline it took me to eat at a deficit, they wouldn't worry.0
-
I haven't lost a lot of weight so far and don't have a lot to lose overall but I work with the public and people can be quite blunt and seem to think that my whole life is their business, I'm constantly being told that I don't have to diet, when i am in the overweight category in my bmi, and then I am being told that I've put on abit of weight or getting some kind of insult hurled my way about it. I constantly have to remind myself that I am doing this for me, not everyone else. I want my confidence back, I want to put on an outfit and not change it a million times to hide my insecurities, but most of all I want to be healthy.. Plus it a nice feeling when you take control of your weight.0
-
When I got those types of comments or questions, I usually came back with a sweet smile and an answer along the lines of "no trying to lose anymore weight, but I am trying to lower my body fat a little more" - usually shut 'em right up because they don't know what to do with that.
0 -
AmyRhubarb wrote: »When I got those types of comments or questions, I usually came back with a sweet smile and an answer along the lines of "no trying to lose anymore weight, but I am trying to lower my body fat a little more" - usually shut 'em right up because they don't know what to do with that.
I like your thinking, I can't wait to see their faces when I say this ☺️0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.8K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 396 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 967 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions