Life after Death

meblu3u

Hello Everyone my name is Rose after being married for 17 years my husband passed away. I started to eat more and some depression. I have always been a bigger woman and my son said to me Mom I don't want you to Die and that's when I asked what do you mean my son is 7 I also have a 8 and 11 year old. Needless to say my 7 year old continues to say mom with you being fat you can die. Is my son trying to tell me something or was he scared after losing his father so I decided to do this Journey on my own my friends tell me your fine. I have a health condition called POTS it's a heart condition that I need to maintain take in 3300 mg of salt to keep everything working properly. I started working hard at making changes to my diet as well as walking exercises and such. Feel like the struggles are so overwhelming the moral support from friends aren't there so I hope that others on a mission to help themselves like I am can understand the struggles we feel and give advice how to deal with them. So that's my life.

beachgal0626

So sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. That has to be the ultimate "hurt" in one's life. Best wishes with your lifestyle changes and know that there are always those on MFP to help you with your struggles. You CAN do it!

meblu3u

Thank you beachgal0626 it means a lot to me to hear some inspirational words thank you

beachgal0626

I don't know how long you have been on MFP, but I highly recommend browsing through the Success Stories section. There are some amazing, inspirational stories to be read!

ahoy_m8

Condolences to you and your children. What a tough road for each of you. You have my sympathy for feeling like the moral support from friends isn't there. Kids, even really young ones, can offer fantastic support, however! I did not believe it--"support is an appropriate role for parents, not children" was my thinking--until I actually had kids, and wow. They can tell when you're the slightest bit off, and their love is unconditional. I'm wondering, too, how a close friend would respond if you told her how much moral support for making healthy changes would mean to you. Sometimes you have to ask for exactly what you need.

It might seem overwhelming, but you can do it. It's the small changes done consistently that make the biggest difference in the end. Slow and steady wins the race. There is tons of fantastic advice in the threads, and a good place to start are the "most helpful posts" in the "general diet and weight loss" board. Focus on the things that make the biggest difference (eating the appropriate number of calories and accurately counting), and don't worry with minor details (meal timing & big vs. small meals are matters of preference unless your medical condition requires a particular regimen). Best of luck to you!

Bruery

My condolences as well, thank you for putting a human element I have yet to encounter in the forums. If you are looking for support - please add, I will cheer you start to finish!

FitPhillygirl

Very sorry for the loss of your husband. You will find a lot of support here on MFP to assist you in your weight loss journey. Best wishes!

Pinnacle_IAO

meblu3u wrote: »

Thank you beachgal0626 it means a lot to me to hear some inspirational words thank you

Welcome!
You are taking a brave step in a new direction.
Your situation made me think.
If it were my time to go, the best tribute I'd expect would be for my loving wife to move on, live well and be her healthy best.

You're here, and this is a great, fresh journey. I feel your grief, but it's time to buck up, gather your energy and move ahead in life the way your husband would want you to. Stay strong and enjoy your new beginning.
Again, welcome...

meblu3u

Thank you Pinnacle_IAO

meblu3u

Thank You Eileen_S

meblu3u

Thank you Bruery

meblu3u

Thank you Ahoy-m8

Diana_GettingFit

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know from experience when you are young and you lose one parent you suddenly realize how vulnerable you are and how easily you could lose the other parent. So I get where your seven year old is coming from. I lost my dad when I was fourteen. It's good that you made this decision to get healthy, for your own sake and for the sake of your children. You've come to the right place. You'll get a lot of support here.

67tls

Hi Rose, my life was also sent into chaos by the death of my husband. At the time I had a 14 year old and an 8 year old. That was 9 years ago. I have been through the depression and using food as a comfort. Although I am new to the forum, I started taking control of my weight back in January. I totally understand your struggles. I wanted to get healthy to be there for my sons. Feel free to add me as a friend and I will gladly cheer u on!!

kbpinmo

My heart aches for you. I almost lost my husband two years ago, and my depression grew as well. I'd love to be a friend on here. We can push each other and inspire each other to do better

Bryanna1992

Sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. But good for you on your decision to make a healthier choice for your children. Whenever you feel like quitting, remember that this is for your children. It may seem overwhelming, it is, but just take small steps. Make small changes instead of many big ones. You can do this!

beccaecca

I can relate to you. I lost my three year old daughter in 2012. I use food as an escape for the pain some days. It's hard to see myself at this size. I'm a work in progress and everyday I'm trying to get better at knowing when I'm eating because I'm hungry or if I'm eating because I'm sad. It's a struggle but with some support and accountability I know it can be done.

iMissMyHubs

I'm so so sorry for the loss of your husband and your children's father. My husband unexpectedly passed away in January, leaving behind our 16 year old daughter, 13 year old son, and myself. These past few months have been so painful. He passed away in his sleep with no known health problems and now I'm so afraid for myself. I'm the only one left for my children. I understand the worries, fears, and pain. They are happening in our home, also. I'm new here and I'm ready to feel better, at least a little. And I want you to feel better about things, too! We can do this!!

GaleHawkins

I expect your son loves you very much and has a grasp of health related issues unlike many adults. Welcome and best wishes as you work to lower the stress your son is carrying about your well being.

meblu3u

Thank you so much

TNoire

sorry for your loss, feel free to add me if you like

meblu3u

Thank you TNoire

4theking

My wife died in 2006. I would love to offer you love and support. I certainly believe that when we leave this world we go to our true home. I patiently await my home with hope!

JeanMBK

My condolences to you and your family. You will find motivation and friends here on MFP. Best of luck in your journey!

odickerson

I truly understand were you are coming from. I loss my husband April 2012. He was the love of my life. I also used food as a comfort, went into depression and gained an enormous amount of weight. December of last year I decided it was time to take charge of my life again. I joined MFP and have loss 76 lbs. so far. I still have another 70 lbs. to go. It's still a struggle to keep moving forward, but I am determined to do so. If you need someone to talk to and share recipes with please feel free to add me. The more support you have the easier it is. Stay strong and continue to move forward 1 step at a time.

JohnK580

I join others in their heartfelt expressions of condolences. Feel free to add me as well and I will do my best to encourage.

meblu3u

Odickerson First and foremost I am sorry for your loss. Congrats on the weight loss and thank you for the support. Yesterday was a rough day for me I was with my family for a birthday party and all the temptation was a struggle for me knowing we were at a restaurant. There isn't a day that goes by that I think of my late husband the emotions are intense sometimes especially at night. That's when I tend to want to eat more. I know I'm my heart he is wishing me luck and I am doing this not only for myself but for my children. I want to thank you

meblu3u

Thank you JohnK

barbecuesauce

meblu3u wrote: »

Hello Everyone my name is Rose after being married for 17 years my husband passed away. I started to eat more and some depression. I have always been a bigger woman and my son said to me Mom I don't want you to Die and that's when I asked what do you mean my son is 7 I also have a 8 and 11 year old. Needless to say my 7 year old continues to say mom with you being fat you can die. Is my son trying to tell me something or was he scared after losing his father so I decided to do this Journey on my own my friends tell me your fine. I have a health condition called POTS it's a heart condition that I need to maintain take in 3300 mg of salt to keep everything working properly. I started working hard at making changes to my diet as well as walking exercises and such. Feel like the struggles are so overwhelming the moral support from friends aren't there so I hope that others on a mission to help themselves like I am can understand the struggles we feel and give advice how to deal with them. So that's my life.

I'm so sorry for your loss! Your son is likely just parroting something he's picked up in the news about obesity and his anxiety is causing him to speak up. Seeing you making positive strides should hopefully calm him.

Your friends telling you "you're fine" when you have 120 pounds to lose--I would stop discussing the issue with them, to be honest. They're not going to have anything positive to say. I didn't discuss my weight loss with anyone offline because they kept telling me I should stop losing when I was still overweight. There are some people who are jealous or who view your weight loss as a personal attack, in my experience.

Good luck. You got this.

ps You don't have to respond to every single post if you don't want.

CSARdiver

I am sorry for your loss and cannot imagine how I would react. It's pretty much my one and only fear.

Congratulations on your decision and welcome! You'll find a multitude of people here with amazing stories of what they have overcome to get to better health.

I highly recommend you include your children into your exercise and reinforce each other's positive habits. This will also help them get over any fear and you'll grow stronger together.

Well met and best regards to you and yours.

apollinav

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you have experienced.

You have a strong motivation and drive for making changes. You've come to a supportive place. I wish you all the success, health, and healing you're looking for.