Scared to Incite Jealousy in Others

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Replies

  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    I definitely understand humility and I'm sorry about what happened 3 years ago, but I have never heard of this. You should always strive to be the best you that you can be, and of course there will be people who will try to stand in your way because of jealousy. I also recommend therapy as I think you have the potential to do great things, but you are holding yourself back. Good luck!

    I would like to add that I was overweight for my entire life until recently when I hit my goal weight. As soon as this happened, I started receiving extremely unwanted attention from a supervisor at work. I had never experienced this before and it felt awful, but honestly it was a great thing to happen because it taught me how to stick up for myself and not let the "bad guy" win. I have always been the type of person to get walked over but no more! I found confidence and self-respect out of a crappy situation and I am a better person for it.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Yes, what you are feeling is quite natural but I think it is more about fear than inciting jealousy - the fear of being presented with new situations that you do not feel you have the ability to handle. It seems this fear is very deep rooted and linked to trauma and therefore stifling your potential. As someone else mentioned CBT (or maybe something like NLP even) will help.

    Most people treat you differently when you are slim, good looking and successful. You might not want them to, you might still be exactly the same person on the inside that you were when you were fatter but they will. You need to have the skills to handle that.

    Most of this will be positive but there are some real downsides as well. And at it's core there is a certain hollowness in success, a certain meh, is that it? and you realise it is not achieving a dream where the real joy lies but rather the progression, the journey, the distance travelled.

    Don't let it stop you. Just learn to love the challenge of it all - that is life and growth.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
    I think I have sort of an issue like that ... I didn't realize it until a friend said to me that I always sabbotage my weight loss when I start looking good .
    I thought about it and she was right . I did speak to a Dr about it the last time I weighed 160,10 years ago .

    I told him that I was self concious about the attention I was getting and that I felt like I was not good enough or undeserving of this attention .
    He blew it off and said that it was all in my mind .ha, a week later I had a skiing accident and used that as an excuse to gain it all back plus some.

    This time I will not worry about it and I will try to continue to be who I am no matter what size I am.

    Good luck to you also . I hope you can find the confidence you need to get that promotion or a different job.
  • orangesapphire
    orangesapphire Posts: 32
    Thank you all for your wonderful posts. I have read them all and am grateful for the insight and feedback about this situation that has held me hostage for too long.
    I will read and reread the posts on this thread for a long time to come, as I continue to try to stop my continual self inflicted pain.
    Much gratitude.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    You mentioned the movie 'The Bodyguard' as an example. I have seen this movie. Do you actually have someone in your life like the jealous sister in that movie?

    If so, is it possible for you to cut them out of your life? I would not stay or be around anyone who I thought would hurt me if I lost weight, or who I thought might hurt me for any reason.

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