I want help :(

Buttercup__M

Hello
I would like to ask a few questions and i would really appreciate anyone's help and support
I'm a female and in the past 4 years I've lost and gained weight more times than i can count, ranging between 10-20 kgs
I've tried dieting with a registered dietitian, it was successful, i lost 15 kg (75->60) I'm aprox. 169cm (also big boned)
but i was starving in the diet and everything wasn't allowed
and i started exercising as soon i reached my goal. I had a few problems regarding my tension headache/migraine so i stopped.
I have an eating disorder, i eat when stressed, happy, sad, all kinds of occasions, and it fulfills me.
So after that i gained around 8 kgs
and then i hopped back to 75
then i did the atkins which was successful (btw i hate meat/poultry..) so it was difficult
i gained the weight that i lost just as fast. but this time i reached 80 kgs
so i went to another registered dietitian and i lost weight till 70 this time with less starvation

but the trouble is my daily scheduleis unstable and irregular, most days im not home, between university and irregular jobs i cant carry food with me.

now recently i'm 73 kgs (more or less)
and ive started exercising at the gym
and i still eat irregularly (morning around 120 g of random cornflakes at 10 a.m) then i go to the gym around 5pm (3-4 times a week), and around 6pm lunch, and i get real hungry at around 11 pm leading me to eat something heavy (i sleep around 2am)

so i dont know if exercise is enough especially for someone who's been through the yoyo effect
i dont know if at the gym, treadmilling at speed 6km/h for 20-25 minutes then bicycling for 20 mins then leg weight lifting, squats, lunges... etc is enough
i do a total of 1.5-2 hrs

if i will lose weight on the long run or just gain muscle and keep the fat

i would like to understand how the body works when it comes to fat burning
and i would like to keep eating regularly because it doesn't add the extra stress in my life...
i'm a very moody person when it comes to food i might like something one day and cant stand it the other

im so sorry for the long post and i do hope someone is willing to give me their time just to brief me on what to do...


Regards,
A person who desperately wants to be fit, healthy and strong (also a regular sized person)

Xx

freeza12

From the sounds of your post, it doesn't seem as though you are actually committed to losing weight and maintaining the weight loss. It's a lifestyle change, you can't diet for a few months and then go back to what you were doing earlier.

The main thing you need to realise is that this takes real commitment, not just a few diet meals here and there.

I'm more than happy to offer advice, as would most people, but I've seen it before where regardless of the level of advice or information given to a person, they truly don't really want to change.

IsaackGMOON

freeza12 wrote: »

From the sounds of your post, it doesn't seem as though you are actually committed to losing weight and maintaining the weight loss. It's a lifestyle change, you can't diet for a few months and then go back to what you were doing earlier.

The main thing you need to realise is that this takes real commitment, not just a few diet meals here and there.

I'm more than happy to offer advice, as would most people, but I've seen it before where regardless of the level of advice or information given to a person, they truly don't really want to change.

Seems like that's it.

OP, I've always thought this... If someone is determined and motivated enough to get something done, they will get it done.

madhatter2013

I agree with the previous posters. You lack comittment. Also, you won't gain muscle eating at a deficit.

jemhh

I agree, you are not committed to losing weight and maintaining the loss.

Here's the thing--most people are busy, have varying schedules, have to juggle home/work/school/etc. You are not unique in that and it's not the reason why you have trouble keeping weight off. I've never met a person who said "I live a life of leisure. I can eat whenever I want. I have no responsibilities. My life has no stressors whatsoever!." I see this a lot--people posting questions like "how do I do this with a busy schedule?" Well, you do what the rest of us schmucks do. Plan your meals. Plan your grocery shopping. Look at your schedule and plan when you are going to exercise or cook or rest. And then you stick to it and stick to it and stick to it some more. That's what it is to commit to losing weight and being fit. Sticking to it.

Ironmaiden4life

In with the other posts and freeza12 nailed it.

What I read was a lot of excuses. If you want this badly enough you will plan accordingly and make sure you control your environment, not the other way round.

Plenty of people have incredibly stressful lives but still manage to achieve their goals. Planning is ALWAYS the key, followed closely by COMMITMENT, CONSISTENCY, ACCOUNTABILITY and ADHERENCE.

Until you are ready to put all these into practice you'll simply spend time spinning your wheels going no where fast.

beemerphile1

Use MyFitnessPal (MFP) to determine your calorie goal

Use the MFP app to log the calories in your phone

Stop eating when you have reached your calorie goal

It really is that easy.

lindamarg2807

You need to eat regular nutritious meals during the day and not late at night. Don't add sugar to cereal or anything. Eat wholemeal bread, not white. Try having a large salad and lean protein, like chicken or turkey around mid- day, this should fill you up and you will have more energy for going to the gym. Try to walk more for a cardio workout. Eat a small but high protein meal around 6pm and if you still feel hungry later have a piece of fruit. A cup of tea does wonders for me. I think your sleeping patterns have a lot to do with you eating the wrong types of foods and also too late at night. Try going to bed earlier and getting up earlier, I think you'll find this will help your mood and stress levels. You can't keep trying diets that won't work in the long run, it has to be a forever thing or you will just put the weight back on. When you start feeling good, it will be much easier to stick to and not feel like any kind of diet just a new way of life. I don't like going to the gym at all - can't stick to it - so I walk to work and back each day (3 hours) and watch what I eat. I find that easy during the day but evening is the danger time - make sure you have healthy snacks at home in case you feel the urge. You will need to find what works for you and stay with it - don't do exercise you hate as you will not keep it up and soon slip back to your old ways. Hope this is helpful, its what works for me.

WBB55

People here want to help, though we can sound very "tough love" sometimes.

The "diets" you're following clearly aren't teaching you any long term skills. If you haven't tried it before, try eating basically what you're eating now EXCEPT log it as accurately as you possibly can using this MFP app. Set your goal to 0.5-1 lbs per week as the goal rate of loss. If you log exercise, maybe only eat back about half of the "extra" calories it gives you (since exercise calories burned can be so very overinflated). And then do that for a couple months, see how you do and feel.

Come back and ask us questions any time. It's really a simply process, but you do have to log EVERYTHING you eat for it to work well. And then once you've lost the weight, you'll have a lot of skills moving forward to maintain the loss.

Graceious1

I've been there, where I thought I couldn't do it or just couldn't be bothered but, I reckon you have to change your way of thinking. If you constantly give yourself excuses and say you can't do it, it won't happen. You just have to make that change and have a goal in mind. I think most people on here have done just that. For me, it was just reprogramming my mind to make that change and deciding that as I approach my 50s I thought that I wanted to make sure that look and feel as good as I do now so I had to start as soon as I could. I also want to fit comfortably into a pair of jeans I bought last year. I'm getting close.

I have swapped foods that I used to eat for more healthier ones such as, white rice with brown, fried eggs for scrambled. When I go shopping now I more veg and chop them up and put them in containers so that I can grab them and either put them in a salad, cook them or boil/steam them. I have really cleaned up my diet, which is complementing the hours of exercise I do.

Our health is in our hands and looking after our health ultimately comes down to us. You might need a buddy to support you. However, I think if this is going to work for you, you will have to change your way of thinking to be an 'I can' attitude.

All the best and feel free to friend me or ask questions

gothchiq

I notice you stated you have an eating disorder. No one else seems to have acknowledged this. For that, you'll probably need professional help. It's rare that people overcome eating disorders by themselves.

Liftng4Lis

What does your therapist say about this?

JoRocka

but the trouble is my daily scheduleis unstable and irregular, most days im not home, between university and irregular jobs i cant carry food with me.

they don't make coolers where you live?

I'm never home- I work many jobs- and on Saturday- Sunday- Monday- Tuesday and Friday I'm often traveling straight from one thing to the next- I leave at 7:45 and I don't get home till 10:30 or later.

Prep your food when you have a spare hour- make a bunch- put it in containers- then grab the containers to make lunch the day of or night before.
Eat food.
problem solved.

<side note you don't NEED exercise to lose weight- it's highly encouraged for a variety of reasons- but you can lose and maintain your weight purely through the control/monitoring of calories>

Making excuses won't find a way to fix you're problems. Making solutions will fix your problems.

LKArgh

Buttercup__M wrote: »

Hello
I would like to ask a few questions and i would really appreciate anyone's help and support
I'm a female and in the past 4 years I've lost and gained weight more times than i can count, ranging between 10-20 kgs
I've tried dieting with a registered dietitian, it was successful, i lost 15 kg (75->60) I'm aprox. 169cm (also big boned)
but i was starving in the diet and everything wasn't allowed
and i started exercising as soon i reached my goal. I had a few problems regarding my tension headache/migraine so i stopped.
I have an eating disorder, i eat when stressed, happy, sad, all kinds of occasions, and it fulfills me.
So after that i gained around 8 kgs
and then i hopped back to 75
then i did the atkins which was successful (btw i hate meat/poultry..) so it was difficult
i gained the weight that i lost just as fast. but this time i reached 80 kgs
so i went to another registered dietitian and i lost weight till 70 this time with less starvation

but the trouble is my daily scheduleis unstable and irregular, most days im not home, between university and irregular jobs i cant carry food with me.

now recently i'm 73 kgs (more or less)
and ive started exercising at the gym
and i still eat irregularly (morning around 120 g of random cornflakes at 10 a.m) then i go to the gym around 5pm (3-4 times a week), and around 6pm lunch, and i get real hungry at around 11 pm leading me to eat something heavy (i sleep around 2am)

so i dont know if exercise is enough especially for someone who's been through the yoyo effect
i dont know if at the gym, treadmilling at speed 6km/h for 20-25 minutes then bicycling for 20 mins then leg weight lifting, squats, lunges... etc is enough
i do a total of 1.5-2 hrs

if i will lose weight on the long run or just gain muscle and keep the fat

i would like to understand how the body works when it comes to fat burning
and i would like to keep eating regularly because it doesn't add the extra stress in my life...
i'm a very moody person when it comes to food i might like something one day and cant stand it the other

im so sorry for the long post and i do hope someone is willing to give me their time just to brief me on what to do...


Regards,
A person who desperately wants to be fit, healthy and strong (also a regular sized person)

Xx

1) For weight loss, exercise is never enough, unless perhaps you are like training for the olympics and it is impossible to really eat more than you burn. For the average person, weight loss is mostly down to changing what or how much you eat.
2) Your body does not have some special fat burnign mode that will happen through special diet or exercise. You eat less than you burn, you get thinner. You eat more than you burn, you get heavier.
3) Unless you decide you want to do something long-term, stop bothering with diets. You will lose, then gain. Figure out how to eat less calories on the long run, so you can slowly lose weight. So, diets focused on foods you hate are pointless. And so are diets that are very low calorie and cannot be sustained for more than a few weeks. You can either eat whatever you are eating, but less of it, or start looking for lower calorie foods, so you do not have to eat less food, only less calories.

6502programmer

If you're really serious about getting the weight in a better place, work on the ED first. Once you have a handle on the ED, you can be ready to make (and honor) the commitment to eating more appropriately.

Buttercup__M

Appreciate everyone's post and tough love
I was feeling demotivated and had a mind block
You guys opened up my mind to things i couldnt decode in my head
Thanks a bunch
Xx

zombiemusicgirl

Oh man - Do I ever relate to this. I dieted, and I stopped then gained it all back. I blamed it on everything too. My schedule, the people around me, my own inability to control what I put in my own mouth as I felt compelled to emotionally eat, all of that.

The only reason you are losing then regaining is because of the choices you make. It is a good idea to seek out counseling to help you with your relationship with food/ED. However I can attest that when I stopped dieting and started making small changes I could live with, something clicked for me.

I restarted for the billionth time in early July. Until recently I've been on a diet/binge cycle since 10 years old. Except this time, I just decided that I am going to only stick to a calorie limit. Whatever fits in fits in. I'll figure out the rest like macro and micro nutrients when I can manage that. There is a ton of info on the boards.

I have a completely crazy schedule too. I own a music lesson business with my husband and sing in a band. My friends only hang out at bars, and I go to bed at 2 and wake up at 9 each day.

Stop dieting and making excuses. Change your life and you'll get much more than a lower number on the scale. You can do this!