How thick is your skin?

OneHundredToLose

I am open to criticism because I deserve it. My lifestyle up to this point has led me to being more than 100lbs overweight, and it's now my responsibility to fix that. Criticism of my previous lifestyle is fuel for change.

suziecue20

ald783 wrote: »

Depends on the day. If I'm hangry, I might be more likely to rage. If I've been fed recently, preferably pizza, I'm probably a bit better equipped to deal. So far these forums don't seem too bitchy though.

Love it

Alluminati

Hey it's Friday. Hooray!

kducky22

MakePeasNotWar wrote: »

About 9 out of every 10 posts I type is deleted before it gets posted, because if I think there's any chance I haven't been clear or thorough enough, I won't risk having someone picking a misunderstood premise or fuzzy detail to argue about.

MEEE TOOO!! I spend a lot of time typing everything out and then up just deleting it and never posting it.

barbecuesauce

Pretty thick. Truly can't worry--the times I've been attacked online the confrontational part of me has gone YES! because I kind of like engaging.

Not so in real life--I'll still engage, but I'll be upset the rest of the day.

arditarose

I'm open to criticism. I'm too shy to start my own threads though. Luckily I've filled my friends list with great knowledgeable members so I tend to get my questions answered on my personal page. Or I you know...google.

justrollme

Need2Exerc1se wrote: »

suziecue20 wrote: »

Need2Exerc1se wrote: »

mommyrunning wrote: »

Oddly I get more offended by what people say to others than what they say to me.

Yep, me too. Especially when it's obvious that someone was offended or even hurt by the comment but instead of backing off the offender just lays it on harder. What enjoyment comes from that?

anonymity I think.

I get why they feel comfortable doing it. But I don't think that explains the mental process behind taking pleasure in it.

+1 @mommyrunning

And I think the process behind taking pleasure in it probably has to do with how a person handles or doesn't handle their own perceived shortcomings. Maybe they are really "talking to themselves" out of anger, frustration or disappointment, in a past or present type of way?

Personally, I don't buy into the excuses like, "it's just the truth!" or "I call it how I see it!" or "I'm helping with brutal honesty." Truth and honesty does not mean it's time to remove every filter of polite society, whether it is in person or in text. I have read plenty of replies that get a message across with kindness. It is self-serving to be hurtful or ridiculing of others, stranger or not.

chaoticdreams

kducky22 wrote: »

MakePeasNotWar wrote: »

About 9 out of every 10 posts I type is deleted before it gets posted, because if I think there's any chance I haven't been clear or thorough enough, I won't risk having someone picking a misunderstood premise or fuzzy detail to argue about.

MEEE TOOO!! I spend a lot of time typing everything out and then up just deleting it and never posting it.

Same here! Things gets so twisted by people sometimes and that annoys me. I'm not really thin skinned though. It's the internet. It's expected.

ErinWard1986

PinkPixiexox wrote: »

I'm quite a sensitive soul so I don't take kindly to people being abrupt with me on forums for asking what seems like a 'dumb question' to them. I've noticed a lot of harsh responses to people - especially beginners for not knowing 'simple facts' and it's infuriating to read. There was a lady not so long ago posting for advice on how to deal with hunger on juice diets.. Instead of users posting friendly advice and trying to deter her from this type of diet, they attacked her and basically insinuated that she wasn't very intelligent. EVERY ONE has started from scratch at one point and I think with knowledge and muscle mass, in some people - comes arrogance. I don't think you should have to have a thick skin on a weight loss forum. This is a very personal and sometimes very emotional journey and it should be all about support, support, support.

Some people will be on diet plans that you personally think are ridiculous but it's not your place to shoot them down. Gently advise if they are asking for advice but there are a few 'regular' posters I see here that are quite rude in their approach to questions. Of course, this is the internet so we can't determine how a comment is being directed but .. no, I don't have a thick skin when it comes to weight loss. It's stressful and it's testing at times. And sometimes I want to belong to a community that 'GETS' that.

Right on!

ninerbuff

You'll never find a successful person who hasn't been criticized on time or another. It's part of the process. If someone on here doesn't know how to handle some truthful opinions, they either were pretty introverted or they were used to people telling them what they wanted to hear to appease them.
What I notice is that people usually think it's a "personal" attack on them, when usually it's an objection to the approach they are taking to weight loss.
I'm much more diplomatic about it because I do it daily in my profession, but some are pretty blunt. Could they word it better? Sure, but if their suggestion is on point, it should be considered whether you like the way they say it or not. That's an objective approach and not a subjective one.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Josh_lol

I think it depends on what the criticism is about. I can take advice but when people are just pointing out things that are wrong with you for the sake of it, that's when it bothers me.

justrollme

ninerbuff wrote: »

You'll never find a successful person who hasn't been criticized on time or another. It's part of the process. If someone on here doesn't know how to handle some truthful opinions, they either were pretty introverted or they were used to people telling them what they wanted to hear to appease them.
What I notice is that people usually think it's a "personal" attack on them, when usually it's an objection to the approach they are taking to weight loss.

There are a lot of introverted people in the world, so that is a pretty big exclusion, and a lot of assumptions, too. As far as "personal attack," that needs context, every situation is different; and sometimes I have noticed that there are personal attacks happening. (That I've observed, without being any kind of party or even participant to the conversation.)

ninerbuff wrote: »

I'm much more diplomatic about it because I do it daily in my profession, but some are pretty blunt. Could they word it better? Sure, but if their suggestion is on point, it should be considered whether you like the way they say it or not. That's an objective approach and not a subjective one.

I have also noticed times when things were stated in a blunt way. Blunt is dandy. It's clear and simple, and usually, blunt gets a thankful reply. Blunt does not mean tactless, though, and I also noticed plenty of tactlessness. Personally, I take "on point" to mean "accurate." It does not mean disdain, ridicule or rudeness. And, to be objective, some of MFP's "Community Guidelines" are subjective.

RaeBeeBaby

justrollme wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

You'll never find a successful person who hasn't been criticized on time or another. It's part of the process. If someone on here doesn't know how to handle some truthful opinions, they either were pretty introverted or they were used to people telling them what they wanted to hear to appease them.
What I notice is that people usually think it's a "personal" attack on them, when usually it's an objection to the approach they are taking to weight loss.

There are a lot of introverted people in the world, so that is a pretty big exclusion, and a lot of assumptions, too. As far as "personal attack," that needs context, every situation is different; and sometimes I have noticed that there are personal attacks happening. (That I've observed, without being any kind of party or even participant to the conversation.)

ninerbuff wrote: »

I'm much more diplomatic about it because I do it daily in my profession, but some are pretty blunt. Could they word it better? Sure, but if their suggestion is on point, it should be considered whether you like the way they say it or not. That's an objective approach and not a subjective one.

I have also noticed times when things were stated in a blunt way. Blunt is dandy. It's clear and simple, and usually, blunt gets a thankful reply. Blunt does not mean tactless, though, and I also noticed plenty of tactlessness. Personally, I take "on point" to mean "accurate." It does not mean disdain, ridicule or rudeness. And, to be objective, some of MFP's "Community Guidelines" are subjective.

I learned early on with MFP that to engage on the main forums potentially opens you up to "disdain, ridicule or rudeness" as the above poster mentioned. The first time it happened to me I was a bit shocked and dismayed, but I soon got over it. Some people really do get their kicks by making others feel small and that's pretty sh**ty, but that's life. I'm pretty careful what I post now because I don't enjoy that kind of interaction.

It really annoys me when someone has asked a legitimate question (to them) and the responses border on ridicule and bullying. (I know some of you don't care if I'm annoyed and I don't care that you don't care.) LOL

Many people here are just venturing into the world of online communities and trying to get a handle on their weight issues by reaching out to others for support. Without the experience of weeks or months online interacting with people (including the occasional tool), some may take it quite personally. The tone of some of the feedback on this forum can be discouraging, and that's too bad, but it's the nature of the forum.

My advice to new members is to find a group to join and make some new friends. That's where you'll find the support you're looking for and you won't have to grow a thick skin.