I am "what a woman should look like"
BarbaraCarr1981
Posts: 903 Member
Just wanted to see what people say about the comment my husband gave me. He said "You dont need to lose weight or do anything, you are "what a woman should look like now. Before you were too skinny and I didn't like ur *kitten*" LOL
Anyways, prepreg i was 140lbs and now im 155lbs and working on strength training the the last few months. I have just started in June to really pay close attention to food intake and hitting macros. I think it's so weird that he said its "what a woman should look like" What does that mean? Whatever, I don't care. I just want to be fit and lean and I don't care what he says or thinks EXCEPT I do want him to support me and to not get mad that I can't handle junk food in the house. If junk food is in the house, then i will never reach my fitness/lean goal...
Comments please?
Anyways, prepreg i was 140lbs and now im 155lbs and working on strength training the the last few months. I have just started in June to really pay close attention to food intake and hitting macros. I think it's so weird that he said its "what a woman should look like" What does that mean? Whatever, I don't care. I just want to be fit and lean and I don't care what he says or thinks EXCEPT I do want him to support me and to not get mad that I can't handle junk food in the house. If junk food is in the house, then i will never reach my fitness/lean goal...
Comments please?
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Replies
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3 comments:
1) there is no 1 way a woman should look. She should look however she wants to look. Curvy. Thin. Strong. Whatever.
2) hubby likes you. His opinion is the only one you should be caring about in the least
3) what do you think? Ultimately that's all that really matters.
The hell with what MFP things. We're all a bunch of ignorant, self-centered *kitten* anyways.
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Well honestly it sounds like your husband is an *kitten*- not because he likes how you are now but how he talks like a jerk about how you were. If he were mine I'd tell him to f off!0
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More & better pics, or how are we to know?
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Yup! I want to look strong, lean and fit!!!0
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I won't post pics because i don't like what I see. One day i will!!!0
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Sounds like he was trying to be supportive! I imagine our fellas feel pretty caught anytime we mention our weight or body...let's be honest, that's a tricky topic and no one wants to say the wrong thing.
Good for you for working on getting stronger and healthier. Personally, I think the way a woman should look is COMFORTABLE IN HER OWN SKIN...that's attractive and healthy!0 -
Well honestly it sounds like your husband is an *kitten*- not because he likes how you are now but how he talks like a jerk about how you were. If he were mine I'd tell him to f off!
I totally didn't get a "your husband is an *kitten*" vibe from anything she said. He has an opinion, we all do.0 -
3 comments:
1) there is no 1 way a woman should look. She should look however she wants to look. Curvy. Thin. Strong. Whatever.
2) hubby likes you. His opinion is the only one you should be caring about in the least
3) what do you think? Ultimately that's all that really matters.
The hell with what MFP things. We're all a bunch of ignorant, self-centered *kitten* anyways.
.^this.0 -
In your husband's "defense", I actually think he may have been "complimenting" you
Contrary to some belief, there are a percentage of men who like their woman a lil "thick". I know health wise some may be against that but it is what it is.
Don't take it personal--just explain to him that it's not really what you want though--maybe you can compromise; lean but use weights??? I'm just guessing. Have the "appearance" of thick but lean:):)
Good luck lady 0 -
Why is it that guys will drool over swimsuit models with not an ounce of fat. But want us to have "junk in the trunk"??? My hubby's kinda the same way and honestly I think he's a little insecure that other guys might find me attractive if I get super fit! ??? Make yourself proud! When Mama's happy the whole house is happy!0
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Sounds like he was trying to be supportive! I imagine our fellas feel pretty caught anytime we mention our weight or body...let's be honest, that's a tricky topic and no one wants to say the wrong thing.
So true , My poor husband always messes up when he tries to help me either feel better about my weight or help me stay motivated - he can't win but I do love him for trying .
He has learned to say that he loves me at any weight ,but wants me to live as long as possible with him and then he looses his mind and says he would hate to have to train another wife .....hahahaha
Sounds like your husband still likes the way you look (IMO)0 -
Well honestly it sounds like your husband is an *kitten*- not because he likes how you are now but how he talks like a jerk about how you were. If he were mine I'd tell him to f off!
I totally didn't get a "your husband is an *kitten*" vibe from anything she said. He has an opinion, we all do.
I thought the same when I read this. Sounds like he just got caught before he had a chance to think through what he was saying. Sounds supportive in a guy sort of way.
As for how a woman should like. That's really vague. Maybe he's just saying that he really likes your body now. It gets him going which is a good thing. His words were a bit lacking, but it seems like you're both happy with the progress you're making. Keep doing squats and you'l keep the *kitten* and be trim! Win/win!0 -
3 comments:
1) there is no 1 way a woman should look. She should look however she wants to look. Curvy. Thin. Strong. Whatever.
2) hubby likes you. His opinion is the only one you should be caring about in the least
3) what do you think? Ultimately that's all that really matters.
The hell with what MFP things. We're all a bunch of ignorant, self-centered *kitten* anyways.
.
(claps) very well said!!
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No he's not an *kitten* and yes i know he was complimenting me BUT the issue here is that I want something!!! And that is a strong, lean fit body. Looks awesome in a bikini with no overflow and such - lol. Firm butt and boobs, smooth belly... defined arms and legs.... catch my drift... maybe he will change his mind once he see's my body transformed, whenever that's gonna happen. Sure does take a long time....0
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No he's not an *kitten* and yes i know he was complimenting me BUT the issue here is that I want something!!! And that is a strong, lean fit body. Looks awesome in a bikini with no overflow and such - lol. Firm butt and boobs, smooth belly... defined arms and legs.... catch my drift... maybe he will change his mind once he see's my body transformed, whenever that's gonna happen. Sure does take a long time....
I think start working toward your goal and gain confidence in what you are doing to reshape your body and see where he's at in the support department. Maybe he went about what he said the wrong way, but it does seem like he was trying to be supportive of the current you.0 -
hehe...my husband likes two different body types on woman. Mine and everything else.
Men are funny creatures. I find most do prefer an hour glass, not all but most. They may drool over a swimsuit model or a slim woman on the street but that doesn't mean they don't want what they have.
I mean really I look at certian celebs (Shemar Moore) and drool but I don't care if my husband looks like that.
As for the original poster he will love your body as long as you do. Sexy is from the attitude not the body....if you feel sexy, act sexy, walk sexy and are generally happy with yourself... 0 -
Make sure to squat, a lot, with heavy weight, and keep da booty. He should be all good then :P0
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hehe...my husband likes two different body types on woman. Mine and everything else.
Men are funny creatures. I find most do prefer an hour glass, not all but most. They may drool over a swimsuit model or a slim woman on the street but that doesn't mean they don't want what they have.
I mean really I look at certian celebs (Shemar Moore) and drool but I don't care if my husband looks like that.
As for the original poster he will love your body as long as you do. Sexy is from the attitude not the body....if you feel sexy, act sexy, walk sexy and are generally happy with yourself...
This really is spot on. Mark Wahlberg is absolutely my type physically, but I don't expect my husband to look like that. Your husband will not be disappointed when you are rocking your confidence in a bikini with a tighter body. I promise.0 -
I'm sure your husband didn't mean any harm by what he said, but if YOU are unhappy with yourself, you should already know what to do. Sure you want to make your husband happy, but it's YOUR body, and if you aren't happy with it, there is a big problem.
If he loves you unconditionally, and I'm sure he does, he will support you through everything you do.
Do it for yourself, not anyone else! Life is too short to be unhappy.0 -
Well honestly it sounds like your husband is an *kitten*- not because he likes how you are now but how he talks like a jerk about how you were. If he were mine I'd tell him to f off!
I totally didn't get a "your husband is an *kitten*" vibe from anything she said. He has an opinion, we all do.
Totally agree, he does have an opinion and is entitled to it without being called an *kitten*. I never saw anything in his statement that indicated he was as such either.0 -
Well of course you're what he thinks a woman should look like, if he thought something else was more attractive he would have tried to snag that something else, right?
My husband like big butts, the more KimK-like the better. To him big butts are a must and his greatest fear is that my butt will somehow vanish as I lose weight. This doesn't make him an *kitten* or mean he doesn't support me, it just means he is a man who likes a girl with a lot of junk in her trunk. If my butt went concave or something we wouldn't get divorced, but I know he'd be disappointed to have a feature about me he loves go away. He has a feature or two I'm a huge fan of and I'd be disappointed if they suddenly shrank on me. (ahem)
Lucky for him my butt only seems to be getting more shapely as I go. Moar squats!0 -
It sounds as though he is complimenting you, as though you are the sexiest woman to him and he loves your figure.0
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If your husband is anything like my BF, I'm pretty sure he meant that in a complimentary way. He likes you at the size you are. When my BF sees me struggling, putting lots of empasis on losing weight (I'm trying to get vanity pounds off, my BMI is 22, I'm small for my height), he says he likes me the way I am, not the way I like myself (5-10 pounds lighter he thought I was too frail, I liked it better because I wasn't as squishy). I think it's his way of saying "you are what I want, you look amazing, stop being so hard on yourself". And I think that's what your husband meant.0
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He's just expressing his opinion that he thinks you look better now. I'd just say thanks and not worry about it. Before I started losing weight my husband said the same thing. But I can tell he thinks I look better now, especially my bum.0
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I suspect that he said what he said as a moment of support to you because he sees you struggling with your weight loss and goals (because you have posted about this a lot before, that's why I say that) and he loves you and is attracted to you as you are. When he says this is "what a woman should look like" he means you, as the woman that you are, with the body that you have, and all of your experiences and life changes. Sometimes when a person is really struggling it is good for them to have some amount of acceptance for the healthy place that their body feels healthy at. And if you want to push it farther it is a personal choice and also not something to place too much importance on.
I think you should work towards the goals that you want to achieve. He will love and appreciate your body when you reach those goals, but it also means you don't need to worry about it too much. Relax, enjoy life, feel peace that your husband loves and is attracted to you now and always will be. He will not lose his attraction when you reach your goals. He is telling you that he has not lost his attraction now. You can enjoy his attraction for you.0 -
Welcome to MFP where the male spouses are always quick to be verbally abusive jerks that we should all leave.Well honestly it sounds like your husband is an *kitten*- not because he likes how you are now but how he talks like a jerk about how you were. If he were mine I'd tell him to f off!
I totally didn't get a "your husband is an *kitten*" vibe from anything she said. He has an opinion, we all do.
*and I agree not an ahole, just a dude with an opinon. My fiance tells me the same stuff, I still do wht I like.0 -
Welcome to MFP where the male spouses are always quick to be verbally abusive jerks that we should all leave.Well honestly it sounds like your husband is an *kitten*- not because he likes how you are now but how he talks like a jerk about how you were. If he were mine I'd tell him to f off!
I totally didn't get a "your husband is an *kitten*" vibe from anything she said. He has an opinion, we all do.
*and I agree not an ahole, just a dude with an opinon. My fiance tells me the same stuff, I still do wht I like.
^ Bingo, we have a winner.0 -
3 comments:
1) there is no 1 way a woman should look. She should look however she wants to look. Curvy. Thin. Strong. Whatever.
2) hubby likes you. His opinion is the only one you should be caring about in the least
3) what do you think? Ultimately that's all that really matters.
The hell with what MFP things. We're all a bunch of ignorant, self-centered *kitten* anyways.
and to the bolded part.....you never believe us when we tell you anything, so why start now?
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Just wanted to see what people say about the comment my husband gave me. He said "You dont need to lose weight or do anything, you are "what a woman should look like now. Before you were too skinny and I didn't like ur *kitten*" LOL
Anyways, prepreg i was 140lbs and now im 155lbs and working on strength training the the last few months. I have just started in June to really pay close attention to food intake and hitting macros. I think it's so weird that he said its "what a woman should look like" What does that mean? Whatever, I don't care. I just want to be fit and lean and I don't care what he says or thinks EXCEPT I do want him to support me and to not get mad that I can't handle junk food in the house. If junk food is in the house, then i will never reach my fitness/lean goal...
Comments please?
You're making it his burden. Because you don't want junk food, he can't have any? You're going to have to deal with whatever you call "junk food" at some point. It's your burden, I don't see why you're making it his. He can support you while eating what he wants. Set your priorities.0 -
No he's not an *kitten* and yes i know he was complimenting me BUT the issue here is that I want something!!! And that is a strong, lean fit body. Looks awesome in a bikini with no overflow and such - lol. Firm butt and boobs, smooth belly... defined arms and legs.... catch my drift... maybe he will change his mind once he see's my body transformed, whenever that's gonna happen. Sure does take a long time....
Honestly, it just sounds like he doesn't want you to be skin and bones (aka, way too skinny). I'm sure muscle/toned is just fine by him. Stick figures not so good.0
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