I love bullies....

UsedToBeHusky

I had two exceptionally bad experiences in school.

In 8th grade, a girl actually set my hair on fire in the classroom. She was jealous because another girl and I had become friends. When the boy sitting behind me said something, she pat the fire out with her hand and ran back to the desk. The boy said something like 'oooh she burned a lot of your hair' and other kids started laughing. I reached behind my head and a fistful of singed hair came out. On impulse, I stood, picked up the desk, threw it at her, and ran out of the room.

She got in-school suspension for that.

Then, in high school, we were at lunch. I sat with my cousin usually who sat with another friend who had some other friends that were bullies. For the most part, I just tried to ignore them and they ignored me. Then one night, one of my cousin's friends had called me at home. We were friends, but not really close. She informed me that this girl had spit in my pizza when I had left the table to get a fork. Then, she allowed me to eat it.

The next day, I went through the line, purchased another pizza, and nothing else. I didn't stop for a milk or silverware. I walked over to the table and sat down right beside her (the seat just happened to be empty). She gave me a snotty look and kept talking to her friends. My friends were asking me 'you didn't want a milk' and 'you didn't get anything other than pizza'. I said 'nope'. When they asked me why I said 'because I only got this pizza for one thing' and they asked 'what'. So I picked the pizza up in my hand, tapped the girl on the shoulder and when she turned to me, I placed one hand on the back of her head and smashed the pizza into her face.

Oh... and let me add that neither of us were punished for this.

StarChanger

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

I disagree. She is teaching her kid that, some people, no matter what you do, just don't take polite hints. She, and her child, did everything "reasonable" to stop the bullying. The bullies will just get bigger, older, stronger...and the kid will remain a "victim".

There's a reason that so many people carry guns in this world.

uh what?
Firstly he's right.
Secondly WHAT?

I am not sure wht you are saying with the gun thing but it's more than mildly disturbing.

You think it's "right" to let some other little kid BEAT UP, her kid? I'm not talking about (and neither was the OP) verbal abuse.

If you read the line right before it, I explained what the gun is for...the "bullys" that grow up and turn into bigger, older, stronger "bullies"....ie: criminals and thugs. People carry weapons to protect themselves from these prior, childhood bullys.

Is that clear enough?

Edit: Reading comprehension, folks. I never said ANYTHING about kids carrying guns. Jeebus.

skullshank

There's a reason that so many people carry guns in this world.

just wanna make sure....youre not justifying victim retaliation in the form of a school shooting, right?

again....just making sure.

ETA: just saw your follow-up post. whew.

SoViLicious

Wait you lived down the street from the projects but not in the projects? But you still lived in the hood right?

taunto

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

_Countryboy_

My advice to my son:

If you ever start a fight, I am going to kick your butt.
\
If you ever run from a fight, I am going to kick your butt.

If you ever get in a fight, and get your butt kicked...I am going to kick your butt.

He has been taught to defend himself, always. Talk first...use good common sense, diplomacy, reason..whatever...but if it comes down to the point where confrontation is unavoidable...step up and throw the first punch. You NEVER let the other guy hit you first if you can help it. An in the immortal words of Malone from The Untouchables...."aim low...and put your man down."

Hexahedra

Unfortunately in most cases the only language a bully understands is fear. He/she wants to feel good about his/her own insecurities by putting fear into the victim(s). Unless somebody dishes back said fear to the bully, he/she will not get the message.

I teach my daughter to stand up for herself. If she is being bullied, of course the first thing she needs to do is to tell a teacher and us. If the school fails or refuses to stop it, then I will authorize and encourage her to use force. I shall tell her not to be afraid and be angry instead, then harness that anger into the courage and strength to fight back. Most bullies are looking for cheap thrills, that's no match for sheer anger.

BeachIron

There's a reason that so many people carry guns in this world.

All the more reason for you to learn to calm down and understand that violence is something that should be avoided at all costs. If you are a hot head then please get rid of your firearms as you're making the rest of us, who are responsible with them and understand that owing them comes with just that - responsibility, look bad.

Even if you do find yourself in a situation that involves self defense, understand that your state law may require you to literally be backed "to the wall" where your absolute ONLY alternative is to respond with force. In any event, lawyers don't come cheap and neither do the psychologists that you may likely need to see to help you deal with the very real reality of harming or killing another human being. That, and there's always the chance that the other guy is better prepared. It's all fun and games on the interwebs, but the real world is out here.

StarChanger

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Good for you. I grew up in Houston, Tx. I was robbed, while staring at the end of a sawed-off shot gun. I will not try to "talk" my way out of that situation, if it were to ever re-occur. To each, their own.

Rosplosion

I was always the odd girl. I grew up in a Domestic Violence situation and as a result I missed a lot of school, I ate for comfort and as a coping mechanism, and if I did actually make it to school I was late and dressed in old dirty clothes. I never had any friends, so I was not bullied per se but I was left out. I was literally and figuratively the red-headed stepchild. I am left-handed and my first grade teacher tried to force me to write with my right hand. I was smart enough to refuse. The same teacher brought me up to the front of the classroom and brushed my hair while everyone watched. Another time after class photos, a boy in my class said he doubted if I would fit in the frame. I think we all go through different traumas in our lives.

I see my son having difficulties with bullying already in pre-K. He is the sweetest most caring little softie in the world and it breaks my heart that kids are so cruel. I saw another child hit him when his back was turned yesterday and my son ran away. My guy is not small, and I know it will not be long before he turns around and hits back. I am considering some type of martial arts for him to teach him to be strong both mentally and physically.

cmcollins001

jonjhayden

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

I disagree. She is teaching her kid that, some people, no matter what you do, just don't take polite hints. She, and her child, did everything "reasonable" to stop the bullying. The bullies will just get bigger, older, stronger...and the kid will remain a "victim".

There's a reason that so many people carry guns in this world.

LMAO such a cowardly excuse to teach your kid. Sure, give your kids guns and then when they endup killing somebody, explain to the judge how you were prepping them against bullies.

The kid is how old? What? 5 years old or something?

Every bully and their parents use the same lame excuse. "We're just trying to get him to be tough so others won't hit him". Well guess what, now YOUR kid is the bully.

Sounds like some one is "attacking" verbally.

BIGGGMOMMMA

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

I disagree. She is teaching her kid that, some people, no matter what you do, just don't take polite hints. She, and her child, did everything "reasonable" to stop the bullying. The bullies will just get bigger, older, stronger...and the kid will remain a "victim".

There's a reason that so many people carry guns in this world.

LMAO such a cowardly excuse to teach your kid. Sure, give your kids guns and then when they endup killing somebody, explain to the judge how you were prepping them against bullies.

The kid is how old? What? 5 years old or something?

Every bully and their parents use the same lame excuse. "We're just trying to get him to be tough so others won't hit him". Well guess what, now YOUR kid is the bully.

OK so who's saying were giving guns to our kids? My son was 12 and was being physically assaulted. (I never said he was 5??? LOL) He, just like you and I have a right to defend ourselves. I never tried to "make my kid tough" I told him to defend himself if someone hits him. Where are you getting your info from ? You obviously did/t read the whole story.....You quote "Were just trying to get him to be tough so others wont hit him" Who said that???? *smh*

taunto

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Good for you. I grew up in Houston, Tx. I was robbed, while staring at the end of a sawed-off shot gun. I will not try to "talk" my way out of that situation, if it were to ever re-occur. To each, their own.

ok, so what did you do when gun was in your face? Like I said before, you were under attack and all the reasons to fight back but with a gun to your face (and you not being Jacki Chan) what did you do?

StarChanger

THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

I also think you are missing the point in mine, and several other posts, that the verbal route had already been tried, several times, and through several routes, and had FAILED.

So now what??

amwoidyla

My experience with bullies is that they have a pretty crappy home life with parents who aren't doing a very good job with them, who are bullying or browbeating them on a regular basis, or otherwise allowing an older sibling to harm them in some way.

Doesn't make what they do to smaller kids right in any way, but usually there's an underlying cause. How we deal with small children is different than dealing with older children.

And I don't believe hitting someone for a verbal remark is justified in any case. That is what we teach our child.

ETA: I was bullied. I was bullied well into high school. I only ever got physical once, and the girl hit me first. Did it affect me? Sure. Do I still believe violence is the answer? No. I believe in defense, but not taking the first strike.

^^ This. My brother (he's the type you would typically consider a "bully") but he was bullied relentlessly by another kid and was trying to be the "bigger person." Even after parent and school intervention, the bully didn't stop until my brother punched him and broke his nose.
After that, he had zero problems with the kid.

While steps should be taken to remedy the situation without violence, sometimes standing up for yourself is the only way to make it stop.

BIGGGMOMMMA

Wait you lived down the street from the projects but not in the projects? But you still lived in the hood right?

LOL yeah I sure did...

StarChanger

ok, so what did you do when gun was in your face? Like I said before, you were under attack and all the reasons to fight back but with a gun to your face (and you not being Jacki Chan) what did you do?

We gave them the money and called the police, just like anyone else. Had OUR guns been available, I'm sure the guys I worked with would have blown them away without a hesitation. But you're getting of topic.......completely.

UsedToBeHusky

On the point of child-rearing, my daughter has intermittent explosive personality disorder. I have struggled to teach her not to be a bully, but it is very difficult when she is being bullied. It would be so much better if teachers would take children a little more seriously. My daughter says that she tells the teachers and that they do nothing.

For the most part, I have tried to teach my daughter to diffuse volatile situations as best she can, but it is very difficult for her to rationalize once her emotions reach a certain point. I will admit, however, that I have instructed both of my children to fight back if they ever find themselves ganged up on. Stories of kids dying because 5 or 6 other kids are attacking them and they did not fight back scare me to death.

taunto

THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

I also think you are missing the point in mine, and several other posts, that the verbal route had already been tried, several times, and through several routes, and had FAILED.

So now what??

Read the original paragraph she wrote. She started hitting the kid for mocking her in the class. She sounds pretty proud of being violent to that kid. I know many kids can be mean verbally but to beat that kid and now, as an adult, be proud of it. Sheesh

Now she's saying that her kid is being "bullied". LOL. Please.