I love bullies....

CrankMeUp

OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.


Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:

A voice of reason I think.

OP, I do dearly say that I didn't mean to call you a bad parent. I do however say that I would never set an example of teaching kids to handle a situation physically when only words were being said.

And even though currently you're calling me names, I hope you learn to not start threads where you cannot handle opposite arguments.

Had it been a respectful opposing argument I would of happily debated this topic with you, but your "opposing arguments' were personally insulting therefore making you a troll. Now if your looking for peace, that is fine with me as long as you no longer nit pick my comments.....

*pst* there is an ignore user button...use it.

then maybe other people can participate in this topic

BIGGGMOMMMA

Keep jabbing Taunto I'll be back later....

BeachIron

OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.


Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:

seriously, it is getting irritating.

* i mean the pissing match

^ Yep. And I'm out.

taunto

I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills

I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).

If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.

I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.

Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.

I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.

Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical


That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.

Fair enough. Lets call verbals mocking bullying. Still doesn't justify getting physical over it. And since currently I am being called a bully for giving out my opinions I think OP likes to say "he's a bully" to anyone who says something she doesn't agree with. Pretty much the same thing over and over we see on these forums all day. Disagree with somebody, get labeled a bully.

No. If you guys reread some of the things this person wrote to me and about me you will see I have every right to say he was being rude and insulting to me...And yes I did call him an idiot because of the stupid opinions he gave about ME personally and not the question I asked to share personal bullying stories. (Not sob stories)

Since when is calling a story "sob story" considered bullying?

sob sto·ry
Noun
A story or explanation intended to arouse sympathy for the person relating it.

Did you not wrote a sad story in the start?

You are still attacking me btw when I have actually said that I am NOT calling you a bad parent. I am just disagreeing with your opinions.

You know damn well the term "sob story" is offensive.....

English is my 4th language. A sob story means a sad story to me. You wrote a sad story. Since when is sob story an offensive terms.

Is it an offensive terms like calling me an idiot and a troll?

Capt_Inzane

Angry nun is gonna smack you two, now one of you went I'm out so that's close enough to timeout for me

Taunto......

BEWARE

Hexahedra

Look, this line of argument that "it's just words" only applies if the attack is not repeated for a long period of time. If a guy doesn't like you and says smack once in a while, then you either ignore him or reply with a smartass comment. In this case physical response is not appropriate. However, if he belittles you every friggin day for an entire year, then it's not simply verbal abuse, it's emotional abuse.

It is my opinion that a single well placed punch to the stomach is mild compared to years of daily verbal attacks. There is a legal defense concept of "temporary insanity". If somebody puts you in a sufficiently bad mental state and you physically respond to it, the jury can mitigate your offense by reason of temporary insanity. Years of emotional abuse can (and often does) drive you insane.

LeahT84

If the parents of the bully won't take care of the problem and get it to stop, the principal and teachers don't stop it at school, and the police don't do anything about it when it happens as the kids are walking home from school, damn straight kids should defend themselves.

I would never allow my son to punch/hit/kick/fight with someone who was verbally harassing him, but you can bet your booty that if some punk kid kept hitting and physically hurting my child and the problem wasn't solved by going to the teacher/principal/parents/police, yes I would tell my son to fight back as hard as he could and kick the crap out of the kid that was hurting him and I wouldn't care if he got suspended or fined for it, I would pay the fine myself!

I think all children should be taught to DEFEND themselves against bullies. A girl from my home town committed suicide at 13 years old because she was being bullied so badly she felt she had no other way out. There are children all over this country getting beat up by bullies. It is time that something gets done and if the authorities won't deal with it, then the kids need to show that they will not allow themselves to get beat up again.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

I thought this said "I love bellies...." especially after I saw Crank reply. :embarassed:

CoderGal

I still have scars on my face from being beaten by 2 guys behind the school with rocks. I drenched my entire outfit in blood and couldn't see. Frightened the teachers half to death. I had my head bashed off of brick walls daily. I was thrown into giant garbage bins. I was stabbed with thumb tacks by the guys in my class. Mostly it was all guys who cut me open and made me bleed. I've been chased and sticks have been jabbed into bikes flipping me over the front of the handlebars. I've been chased to the point I ended up climbing several fences and ended up on top of a guys shed and ended up jumping into a garden with a (luckily intimidating but non bite-e) german Sheppard before I was pushed off the roof. I've been forced under water in swimming pools while people held me down and took pictures of me drowning. I've been punched in the face. I've been called down into the dirt. I've had things stolen from me in front of my face. I ran home with my heart racing each day because people would follow me off the bus to beat the crap out of me. If I could get off the bus 4 stops early or late without them catching me I'd sneak off then...but they eventually found out all my hiding spots so even the short cuts usually consisted of much larger then me kids with sticks. I've been chased with knives and other weapons (but never stabbed).

I was very very shy as a kid. Picked last in gym. None of this was provoked. The reasons were variations of "You're ugly looking"

I live in a bad area of town, and went to a bad school. Then I switched to the school with more drugs and everyone was happy and laid back lol.

I've never lifted my hand to anyone. I don't feel angry enough to do it when those things happen, I feel sad more sad for humanity. I did however want to jump my friends x-husband for what he did to her...don't mess with my friends.

I grew up and don't have any looming regrets to look back on. Not sure about those folks or if they even realized they were attacking someone.

girlinahat

I was bullied all through school. Right up until year year 10. (High School)

Year 10, everything changed for me, but i don't think it was for the best.

I was badly overweight, my parents brought me a mountain bike to ride to school. They just refused to drive me any more.

I rode 15km to school, then 15km back. Then i started Roller Blading. 15km to, 15km back.

I wasn't into exercising at all and had absolutely no idea i was loosing weight and packing on muscle. My fitness my mid year was outstanding, but again, i didnt even realise it.

Anyways, i was in Science Class, and again getting picked on. I lost my **** and belted this guy.

Luckily for me the teacher knew what was going on, looked after me and kicked the other kid out.

The next morning in home group all i could hear was whispering about me and what happened the day before.

As soon as i walked out, i was hit in the head by another bully. Smacked him up too.

This was when i started to get worried. I wasnt a fighter, and i could tell repercussions were coming.

That same day, on the way home i was approached by another from within that gang.

He was hitting me in the head so many times i couldnt see straight. Didnt know how to fight and this kid was so fast, i just picked him up and smashed his head on the road.

This was so not me. I didnt know what was going on.

This kept going for weeks. Another bully, and id get him too.

Untill i was suspended.

Turns out one of the bullies that came after me, parents were police.

That meeting wasn't fun Sitting there with the principle, 2 police, my parents, a kid with stitches in his head, and myself with a broken hand.

It got so bad i left school and joined the work force.

Still didn't know i was getting stronger by riding so much, and now on top of that i was working 10 hour shifts.

I was on a bus with my girlfriend late one night taking her home and this gang got on.

Broke my nose, jaw, eye socket, ribs...

It was bad.

I got better, but was so angry about all this **** that was going on, i took it out on my parents and they kicked me out of home at 16.

That's when i went on a revenge trip.

Lost my ****, and tracked every single one of them down. Beat the crap out of all of them.

Now ive never had a problem since, but what i realised years later is that i had become the bully.

Its a cruel, evil, vindictive world out there and it will really **** you up if you don't get help asap.

I didn't, and im lucky im still here.

Now that i have my own kids, ive brought them up completely different to the way i was.

Taught them about defence, what to do, how to handle it.

Its definitely an issue that needs targeting.

Thanks for sharing. It is so very true that those bullied often find themselves repeating the cycle. I remember clearly the moment I realised I was doing to others what had been done to me and how mortified I felt

In terms of teaching your kids about defence, can you expand on that?

Capt_Inzane

little kid was bullying

taunto

I was bullied all through school. Right up until year year 10. (High School)

Year 10, everything changed for me, but i don't think it was for the best.

I was badly overweight, my parents brought me a mountain bike to ride to school. They just refused to drive me any more.

I rode 15km to school, then 15km back. Then i started Roller Blading. 15km to, 15km back.

I wasn't into exercising at all and had absolutely no idea i was loosing weight and packing on muscle. My fitness my mid year was outstanding, but again, i didnt even realise it.

Anyways, i was in Science Class, and again getting picked on. I lost my **** and belted this guy.

Luckily for me the teacher knew what was going on, looked after me and kicked the other kid out.

The next morning in home group all i could hear was whispering about me and what happened the day before.

As soon as i walked out, i was hit in the head by another bully. Smacked him up too.

This was when i started to get worried. I wasnt a fighter, and i could tell repercussions were coming.

That same day, on the way home i was approached by another from within that gang.

He was hitting me in the head so many times i couldnt see straight. Didnt know how to fight and this kid was so fast, i just picked him up and smashed his head on the road.

This was so not me. I didnt know what was going on.

This kept going for weeks. Another bully, and id get him too.

Untill i was suspended.

Turns out one of the bullies that came after me, parents were police.

That meeting wasn't fun Sitting there with the principle, 2 police, my parents, a kid with stitches in his head, and myself with a broken hand.

It got so bad i left school and joined the work force.

Still didn't know i was getting stronger by riding so much, and now on top of that i was working 10 hour shifts.

I was on a bus with my girlfriend late one night taking her home and this gang got on.

Broke my nose, jaw, eye socket, ribs...

It was bad.

I got better, but was so angry about all this **** that was going on, i took it out on my parents and they kicked me out of home at 16.

That's when i went on a revenge trip.

Lost my ****, and tracked every single one of them down. Beat the crap out of all of them.

Now ive never had a problem since, but what i realised years later is that i had become the bully.

Its a cruel, evil, vindictive world out there and it will really **** you up if you don't get help asap.

I didn't, and im lucky im still here.

Now that i have my own kids, ive brought them up completely different to the way i was.

Taught them about defence, what to do, how to handle it.

Its definitely an issue that needs targeting.

I cannot believe this got lost in all the arguments. Thank you for sharing! Definitely something we can all learn from.

Capt_Inzane

Sorry to hear , reading a lot of these just make me mad. I'm not a big dude (muscular) I was at one point but if I saw someone being physically bullied like ya'll are talking about ...I'd break a foot off in someone's .....

kennethmgreen

I know it's not "PC", but I firmly believe that the ONLY way to effectively stop children who are bullys is through [child-mediated] violence. i.e.: Punch them square in the face, kick 'em in the balls, WHATEVER.

There will always be an easy way to justify violence in the face of bullying. It's in our nature, why we root for the underdog, why we all felt like cheering when Marty McFly punches Biff by the car. We see a hero as badass when he stomps the bad guy.

Reading through the stories of people getting bullied is sad. I feel anger - even rage - at bullies who prey on someone weaker. I'm not gonna pretend that I don't also like to see bullies get their comeuppance. The scene of the bully getting "a taste of his own medicine" is attractive. But I won't try to justify it as the only solution. That's just lazy.

Yeah, I know people have tried "everything" before resorting to violence. I suspect that in many cases "trying everything" generally means "I got frustrated with trying to talk about it/seek help - or just angry and tired of the bullying, so I lashed out."

How many times is that lashing out born of our own frustration and anger? Does lashing out in the face of bullying make it OK? Is that how justice is served? In other areas of your life, how many times have you solved a problem - and felt good about solving the problem - when your solution was done in anger? It's pretty rare for me.

It's not as cool, or tough, or badass, but you know what's ultimately more difficult than lashing out in anger and frustration? Controlling your emotions and seeking a better solution. But our heroes don't generally show up that way. Sadly, you aren't likely to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson portraying the character of "level-headed guy who talks his way out of conflict" anytime soon.

CrankMeUp

I thought this said "I love bellies...." especially after I saw Crank reply. :embarassed:

:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:

Synapze

Well, firstly from a young age i've taught them to be open and honest with me.

I was never able to speak to my parents. They just didn't want to know, so ive made sure my kids know im always available to listen.

Secondly, ive taught them to ignore the bully, and tell the Teacher.

Normally sorts the issue out at a young age. Unfortunately, doesn't work as you get older. (I have Boys)

So, to combat that ive made sure my kids do a sport. One they like. Keeps them fit and agile.

As for the older son, i taught him to stand up for himself. He doesn't need much help in this area, so were lucky.

The youngest is a bit of a bully at school, but im fairly sure its because he's bigger than all the other kids, and wears glasses.

He was hitting some of them, so i enrolled him into Martial arts class. He now knows that if he does something wrong at School, hes going to cop it at training.

All i can do for now i guess.

Olivia

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