I love bullies....

BeachIron

Who exactly is attacking anyone? What I see is disagreement and I don't see any response in this thread that would violate the very broad MFP rules banning verbal insults/attacks on others.

Well, I am not sure about that. I made a post explaining the difference between "Lose" and "Loose". It was not directed at anyone. It was simply an explanation of the difference between the proper usage of the two words. The forum police deemed that to be either attacking, insulting or mocking and a violation. I was sent a warning and the thread was locked.

Now let's look at this situation:

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

I would say calling someone's post a "sob story" is attacking and insulting.

He goes on to say:

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Implying that the OP is not a good parent.

Look I really don't have a dog in THIS fight. I just think it is ridiculous that my instructive post regarding "loose v. lose" was considered a violation but this and many other more aggregious posts are not.

The rules are pretty clear about correcting grammar. I think if you post a thread about teaching your child to punch another kid then you have put your parenting skills directly at issue and open for discussion. I guess we'll eventually see what the mods think as bullying threads never go well.

And . . . of course, now the OP has decided to call another a poster an "idiot" which is frankly how these bullying threads always go. Someone complains about verbal abuse and then ends up doing exactly that. Good times.

taunto

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.

Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...

And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.

Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.

Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU

Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.

BIGGGMOMMMA

I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills

I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).

If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.

I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.

Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.

**And BTW I am proud of myself for finally standing up to this kid. I was liberated from the living hell I had to withstand day after day. It saved me from killing myself or running away (which is what I would imagine doing while crying myself to sleep) Sob story? No. It was meant to empower not to repress. I am a strong *kitten* woman now who stands up for herself and her family and never lets anyone be a victim. Never to victimize anyone. I was 8 years old when this happened, remember that.

JUDDDing

Momma's rule.... You do not fight. You do not start disturbance. HOWEVER....if it is started with you, YOU FINISH IT.

Yep.

And really, when people forget this and go the soft "official" route (don't respond, find a teacher, zero tolerance, etc) - IMO - this is when things escalate to VERY violent ends.

It never took more than a single, simple school-yard scuffle (really win or lose as long as you gave something) to settle any of this when I was a kid.

jonjhayden

Who exactly is attacking anyone? What I see is disagreement and I don't see any response in this thread that would violate the very broad MFP rules banning verbal insults/attacks on others.

Well, I am not sure about that. I made a post explaining the difference between "Lose" and "Loose". It was not directed at anyone. It was simply an explanation of the difference between the proper usage of the two words. The forum police deemed that to be either attacking, insulting or mocking and a violation. I was sent a warning and the thread was locked.

Now let's look at this situation:

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

I would say calling someone's post a "sob story" is attacking and insulting.

He goes on to say:

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Implying that the OP is not a good parent.

Look I really don't have a dog in THIS fight. I just think it is ridiculous that my instructive post regarding "loose v. lose" was considered a violation but this and many other more aggregious posts are not.

The rules are pretty clear about correcting grammar. I think if you post a thread about teaching your child to punch another kid then you have put your parenting skills direction at issue and open for discussion. I guess we'll eventually see what the mods think as bullying threads never go well.

And . . . of course, now the OP has decided to call another a poster an "idiot" which is frankly how these bullying threads always goes. Someone complains about verbal abuse and then ends up doing exactly that. Good times.

Correcting grammar is not the same as simply stating the correct useage. I would understand if the post belittled, teased or ridiculued someone. It didn't. It was an explanation. It was educational and not inflammatory.

Now, I would say that the rules are pretty clear about attacking and insulting another poster as well as retaliation. I have read many posts like this and they go on without any moderation...But god forbid someone enlighten others as to the correct useage of words. That might ruin their self-esteem beyond the point of repair.

pastryari

I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills

I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).

If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.

I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.

Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.

I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.

Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical


That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.

BIGGGMOMMMA

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.

Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...

And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.

Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.

Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU

Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.

Oh that's sweet I"M attacking YOU now huh? You wrote some very insulting remarks buddy. You are not going to bully me around either. You don't know me and should stop making assumptions about my parenting skills.

PhattiPhat

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

In for the "my hood was harder than your hood" posts

Synapze

I was bullied all through school. Right up until year year 10. (High School)

Year 10, everything changed for me, but i don't think it was for the best.

I was badly overweight, my parents brought me a mountain bike to ride to school. They just refused to drive me any more.

I rode 15km to school, then 15km back. Then i started Roller Blading. 15km to, 15km back.

I wasn't into exercising at all and had absolutely no idea i was loosing weight and packing on muscle. My fitness my mid year was outstanding, but again, i didnt even realise it.

Anyways, i was in Science Class, and again getting picked on. I lost my **** and belted this guy.

Luckily for me the teacher knew what was going on, looked after me and kicked the other kid out.

The next morning in home group all i could hear was whispering about me and what happened the day before.

As soon as i walked out, i was hit in the head by another bully. Smacked him up too.

This was when i started to get worried. I wasnt a fighter, and i could tell repercussions were coming.

That same day, on the way home i was approached by another from within that gang.

He was hitting me in the head so many times i couldnt see straight. Didnt know how to fight and this kid was so fast, i just picked him up and smashed his head on the road.

This was so not me. I didnt know what was going on.

This kept going for weeks. Another bully, and id get him too.

Untill i was suspended.

Turns out one of the bullies that came after me, parents were police.

That meeting wasn't fun Sitting there with the principle, 2 police, my parents, a kid with stitches in his head, and myself with a broken hand.

It got so bad i left school and joined the work force.

Still didn't know i was getting stronger by riding so much, and now on top of that i was working 10 hour shifts.

I was on a bus with my girlfriend late one night taking her home and this gang got on.

Broke my nose, jaw, eye socket, ribs...

It was bad.

I got better, but was so angry about all this **** that was going on, i took it out on my parents and they kicked me out of home at 16.

That's when i went on a revenge trip.

Lost my ****, and tracked every single one of them down. Beat the crap out of all of them.

Now ive never had a problem since, but what i realised years later is that i had become the bully.

Its a cruel, evil, vindictive world out there and it will really **** you up if you don't get help asap.

I didn't, and im lucky im still here.

Now that i have my own kids, ive brought them up completely different to the way i was.

Taught them about defence, what to do, how to handle it.

Its definitely an issue that needs targeting.

Capt_Inzane

My little sister was in 3rd grade I think maybe 2nd and a middle schooler on the bus thought it'd be cool to pick on her. It went on for the entire week and then at the end he threw gum in her hair. I was in 9th grade at the time (he in 7th I think) but I remember him making fun of me because he was a year older (not sure how that worked out) anyways he got a swift butt whupping and what was really great is that the bus driver knew me and my sister (she was my bus driver since I was a youngin). She didn't know what was going on because my sister stayed quiet but afterwards the boy had to sit right behind the bus driver permanently and I didn't even get in trouble! I remember the boys parents came on the bus and made him apologize to my sister I thought that was cool.

taunto

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.

Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...

And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.

Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.

Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU

Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.

Oh that's sweet I"M attacking YOU now huh? You wrote some very insulting remarks buddy. You are not going to bully me around either. You don't know me and should stop making assumptions about my parenting skills.

zyxst

When I was/am bullied, I will take it to violence when the bully refuses to leave me alone when asked by me or, as a kid, an authority figure. I've rarely been physically assaulted; it's usually vocal insults and the like. I don't go looking for fights unless the bully will not leave me alone. - reiterating that for taunto -

I want the bully to understand that I won't back down and will get physical even if I lose the fight. The bullies I've dealt with back off when they learn I'm not going to keep taking their abuse anymore. Bullies usually want victims who don't fight back.

nomeejerome

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.

Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...

And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.

Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.

Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU

Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.

Oh that's sweet I"M attacking YOU now huh? You wrote some very insulting remarks buddy. You are not going to bully me around either. You don't know me and should stop making assumptions about my parenting skills.

Ummm....you called him an idiot and now you are saying he is bullying you around? Sorry, if you do not want people making comments on a certain topic. Therefore, it may be a good idea not to start a thread.

pastryari

OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.


Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:

BIGGGMOMMMA

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.

Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...

And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.

Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.

Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU

Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.

Oh that's sweet I"M attacking YOU now huh? You wrote some very insulting remarks buddy. You are not going to bully me around either. You don't know me and should stop making assumptions about my parenting skills.

Ummm....you called him an idiot and now you are saying he is bullying you around? Sorry, if you do not want people making comments on a certain topic, therefore, it may be a good idea not to start a thread.

Did you read the whole thing? He is an idiot....

taunto

I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills

I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).

If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.

I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.

Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.

I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.

Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical


That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.

Fair enough. Lets call verbals mocking bullying. Still doesn't justify getting physical over it. And since currently I am being called a bully for giving out my opinions I think OP likes to say "he's a bully" to anyone who says something she doesn't agree with. Pretty much the same thing over and over we see on these forums all day. Disagree with somebody, get labeled a bully.

pastryari

I used to be bullied as a kid. And it was by a bunch of project kids who lived down the street(We were real poor too just didn't live in the projects, thank God). We went to the same school. Anyways I was bullied from K to 3rd grade. (And by bullied I mean beat down and left for dead sometimes, at least it felt that way) But I got sick and tired of it. So one day in class I was called to the chalkboard and my seat squeaked like a fart when I got up. OMG , one of the boys who hated me the most started talking crap and then everyone was laughing and saying stuff. I felt like crying. The teacher was trying to get everyone settled and when I was done with the problem She called him to the chalkboard...There was lot of oooos and ohhhs and then instead of doing the problem he proceeded to draw a picture of me (which of course looked nothing like me) Everyone was laughing and yelling stuff, the teacher was trying to take the chalk away from him. And like in slow motion I got up went up to him and punched him as hard as I could in the stomach. Then when he lunged I punched him in the side of the head....I was so pissed off. He started crying and everyone turned on him because he was crying. Probably one of the most liberating moments of my life. Could I do that now? Of course not. But one of my children had a bully. Had. Yeah I had him deal with it starting out ignoring, that didn't help, then trying to talk about it, and unfortunately he had to kick the kids *kitten* to get him to stop.


What are your experiences with bullies?

You kicked some little kids butt? Great message you're sending. No truly, GREAT job done mama.

ETA: Befor eyou say that you didn't kicked a child, you taught your child to beat up another kid. This is a child. You should be teaching the kid how to deal with things without violence. You are basically teaching your kid to become yet another wannabe thug and a bully. You are creating a bully. Good job.

Just out of curiousity, what do you think she should have done??? I finally put my son in karate to be able to do the same thing. When the school officials and the police do nothing and the other parents say "oh its just kids being kids", what other solution is there??? Just continue to let your kids get beat up? HELL NO

Read the original sob story. The kid in OPs childhood didn't raised his hands on her. He mocked her. Would you shoot somebody for mocking you? God I'd be dead from people shooting me through their computer screens alone.

If you're being attacked. Fair enough. Teach him self-defense. My brothers and I are all decently trained (them in martial arts, me in boxing AND martial arts). We learned, however, before self-defense to defuse situations verbally and ONLY got physical when we were attacked.

I have been shot at working at liquor store. I used to work in one of the roughest neighborhoods in America (look up Flint, MI and then lookup the Pasadena hood). You know what I learned. 99% of the time you can talk your way out of bad situations. THAT is what good parents do. They teach you how to handle things verbally before teaching you how to solve things physically.

Your right on the point that I did attack him after he was 'only" mocking me. He and his pack had "only' been beating me up everyday for 3 years. So I snapped. Maybe some don't think that was the right move. I certainly don't teach my children to attack anyone either. I teach my kids to defend themselves only if they are physically assaulted.

Shoulda said that in your original thread then. Also, "snapping" is not something you should be teaching your kids. Specially not in a class full of witnesses. You're teaching your kid its ok to be a bully with anger management issues...

And who are you again? Some idiot who thinks he's Mr. father of the year or something? I never said I even told my kids about my bullying past. And you are nobody to tell me how to raise MY kids. Anger management? Wow you certainly are a piece of work.

Umm, you started this thread. Just because I don't agree with your tacts doesn't mean I'm in the wrong. You are now displaying anger.

Who am I? I am somebody who is concerned and is a member of this site and am participating in a discussion started by YOU

Please stop attacking me for disagreeing with you. If you can't handle statements that you don't agree with then please, don't start divisive threads.

Oh that's sweet I"M attacking YOU now huh? You wrote some very insulting remarks buddy. You are not going to bully me around either. You don't know me and should stop making assumptions about my parenting skills.

Ummm....you called him an idiot and now you are saying he is bullying you around? Sorry, if you do not want people making comments on a certain topic, therefore, it may be a good idea not to start a thread.

Did you read the whole thing? He is an idiot....

He's not an idiot for sharing his opinion. You posted on a public message board.

Now will you both just give it a rest? Agree to disagree and move on.

Buddhasmiracle

I was bullied throughout most of my school years. At the time (early 60's and 70's) there weren't as many obese kids as there are now. My folks didn't help me much. I recall when I was about six my mother, who had an uncanny resemblance to Kathryn Hepburn -- the patrician waspish angular face, slender -- asked me why I was so fat when no one else in the family was, and how she was somewhat embarassed by me. I think I tried out different roles throughout school to be accepted like the jolly fat girl, which seemed work at least on the surface. In spite of my weight, I excelled at sports. But in spite of sports, I was still obese. I used to think that it would stop in high school but it didn't. I started riding my bike to school and they would still jeer at me out of the bus windows.

Most of my friends in high school were "outsiders," the few blacks that were in the school system, super brainy kids who had difficulty socializing, guys and girls kind of into being Deadheads, or driving to Woodstock that summer, a bit of the "hippie" fringe. We also organized ourselves and joined in alot of the war and civil rights protests, even though we were high school kids from a small town. In retrospect, I think that was great therapy for me-- there was so much going on in the world around me that being fat and the "fat attacks" didn't seem like such a big deal, compared to other peoples' pain and dispair. I think getting involved also helped me channel what would have otherwise been very negative self defeating emotions into positive energy; and certainly to see beyond the body that contains the person.

I'm 60 now, and I cycle nearly 30 miles daily and no one is jeering.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

I think we're derailing the thread so lets try and get back to the thread instead of making it about the OP and her parenting skills

I think, if you are getting verbally mocked. Then its NOT bullying. You are simply being part of a cruel society and you should learn to deal with it without violence (something OP didn't knew to do and I hope is teaching her kids to deal with in better ways now).

If you are however getting physically abused (something OP was NOT) then you should kick that persons butt.

I want to keep the kids in my family out of jail. For that, I teach them to only attack when being attacked. ALWAYS try to handle a situation with your mind. You can defuse a LOT of bad situations verbally. Verbally mocked? Learned to be witty enough. For that, read books. Don't become a bully trying to beat the bullies.

Also, don't call mocking "bullying". I see that enough on these forums as it is. If you beat somebody up for verbal mocking then YOU are the one going to jail. Not the "bully" who was simply teasing you.

I disagree about verbal abuse not being bullying. Verbal harassment is bullying. Words can be just as strong, if not stronger, than physical violence, especially to children who are growing up and trying to figure out the type of person they are/will become.

Three types of abuse that bullying consists of:
Emotional
Verbal
Physical


That all being said, I wouldn't tell a child to hit someone for verbal abuse. Starting a fight = never. Defending oneself in a fight = always.

Exactly. Girls are bullied very differently than boys. It's mostly verbal, but it's just as harsh. It is something we have to deal with. It's condoning violence that I don't agree with. Violence as defense, yes, of course. But not initiated.

taunto

OP and Taunto, give the pissing match a rest. C'mon.


Edit for typo, don't want the spelling nazi up there to get me. :flowerforyou:

A voice of reason I think.

OP, I do dearly say that I didn't mean to call you a bad parent. I do however say that I would never set an example of teaching kids to handle a situation physically when only words were being said.

And even though currently you're calling me names, I hope you learn to not start threads where you cannot handle opposite arguments.