you... yeah you click on this thread :p

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beckieboomoo
beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay so am stuck babysitting for the weekend and am bored already .... So yeah entertain me :p yes am demanding .... Hehe
so give me your best/worst joke :D
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Replies

  • KukuDan
    KukuDan Posts: 76 Member
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    Whats brown and sticky?



























































    A stick
  • Sweaty_N_Hungry
    Sweaty_N_Hungry Posts: 142
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    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Schmell mop
    Schmell mop who?
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Schmell mop
    Schmell mop who?

    i don't know, schmell mop who? :p
  • Svolt
    Svolt Posts: 284 Member
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    tumblr_momh34Ejvr1qehijmo1_400.gif
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    The stick joke never gets old xD
  • sd_dilligaf
    sd_dilligaf Posts: 146 Member
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    he means "smell my poo."

    I know, takes me back to the 3rd grade too.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    My favorite joke is short, sweet, and potentially offensive ..

    Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    A: You **** her!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    What did the egg say to the boiling water?


























    I can't get hard, I just got laid... :blushing:
  • jessilyn76
    jessilyn76 Posts: 532 Member
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    Lovin the stick joke!!!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sd_dilligaf
    sd_dilligaf Posts: 146 Member
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    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?







    It was dead.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?







    It was dead.

    Why did the baby fall out of the tree?













    It was stapled to the monkey.
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    Ha egg one is my fav so far ;) i would quote people but am on my crappy phone
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?
















    Hey, are you gonna eat that?
  • sd_dilligaf
    sd_dilligaf Posts: 146 Member
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    Remember Bhuddist monk that went up to the hotdog cart and asked the vendor to make him one with everything?
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
    Pay for the pizza.

    How many lead singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

    How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    5. 1 to change it and 4 to talk about how much faster Neil Peart would have done it.

    How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None, the keyboard player does it with his left hand.
  • sd_dilligaf
    sd_dilligaf Posts: 146 Member
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    How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, silly! Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs!
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    he means "smell my poo."

    I know, takes me back to the 3rd grade too.

    Hahaha .... Ewww :p
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    What about the guy that entered 10 puns in the pun contest, hoping to win? Unfortunately no pun in ten did ...
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    What about the guy that entered 10 puns in the pun contest, hoping to win? Unfortunately no pun in ten did ...

    so bad its good xD
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

    27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

    53 to flame the spell checkers.

    41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.

    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...

    Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

    15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

    156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".

    109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group.

    203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.

    111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.

    306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

    27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

    14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.

    3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

    33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

    12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

    19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

    4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

    44 to ask what is a "FAQ".

    4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

    143 to say "Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

    1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

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