you... yeah you click on this thread :p
Replies
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A drunk man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While he waits for the bartender to mix his cocktail, he notices a woman alone at the end of the bar. When his drink comes, he says, "Hey bartender. Give that douche bag at the end of the bar a drink for me."
The bartender tells the drunk to keep his voice down, but the drunk is belligerent. "Give that douche bag at a drink, d@mmit!" he shouts.
The bartender becomes angry. "Sir, I will not permit you to sit here and call the lady names."
The drunk persists. "For the last time, bartender, bring me my drink and give that douche bag down there a drink, too!"
Attempting to quell the growing disturbance, the bartender approaches the woman and apologizes for the behavior of the drunk. "The gentleman insists upon buying you a drink, ma'am. Can I get something for you?"
The woman replies, "Oh,... I'll have a vinegar and water, please!"
WOW, Best. Joke. EVA!!!0 -
I'd hate to be the parent paying for your services, haha. Go watch the children!! :laugh:0
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What do you get when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes. And it can't be tweeted because it's a canarial disease.0 -
Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.0
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I'd hate to be the parent paying for your services, haha. Go watch the children!! :laugh:
actually she is in bed sleeping, i feed her, ran her a bath and put her in bed ..... But thanks for your concern
p.s am not getting paid, babysitting for my bf dads step children so am sure they trust me enough 0 -
How do you make a pool table giggle?
Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls!0 -
Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
ha loved this joke since i can remember xD0 -
How do you make a pool table giggle
Put your hands in its pockets and tickle its balls!
ha cheeky joke I love it!0 -
How does a blonde turn on her car light?
She kicks the door open.
Why are blonde girls belly buttons sore?
Because their blonde boyfriends are not very bright either.
That is all I have off the top of my head.0 -
How does a blonde turn on her car light?
She kicks the door open.
Why are blonde girls belly buttons sore?
Because their blonde boyfriends are not very bright either.
That is all I have off the top of my head.
Hehe loving the blonde jokes 0 -
How do you make Lady Gaga cry?
Poker Face0 -
Knock knock,
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who
Don't cry, it's just joke.
(P.s. can you tell I have an 8 year old. Lol)0 -
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go visit her friend the village idiot.
Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Its the chicken.0 -
How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group.
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".
143 to say "Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
You win!0 -
How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers.
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group.
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
44 to ask what is a "FAQ".
4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".
143 to say "Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
What about those who post non-lightbulb related gifs?0 -
Why did the pigeon cross the road?
To have sex with the chicken.0 -
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
5. 1 to change it and 4 to talk about how much faster Neil Peart would have done it.
John Bonham sh*ts on Peart.0
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