Dating Question (to stir the pot)

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soldiergrl_101
soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
in Chit-Chat
Its getting about that time toward the end of the work day when we are all trying to kill time until the clock strikes 4pm and we can go home. So here is my question to stir the pot...

What do guys look for on a first date..Is it already premeditated before you arrive whether a date will be a ONS or a long term relationship for you? If not what is it about the date that sways you one way or the other? Girls feel free to chime in as well. I just joined one of those dating sites and I get a kick out of the amount of messages that fill my inbox each day that read along the lines of "DTF", do girls actually respond to that "romantic gesture" for lack of a better term, and do you guys actually expect a positive response to that crap? Just curious.
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  • mhiggi02
    mhiggi02 Posts: 5,988 Member
    edited September 2015
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    Well I'm married and haven't dated in forever. But, it was never predetermined for me. It was totally dependent on the chemistry and tension. The guys that send DTF lines are a$$clowns IMO.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    mhiggi02 wrote: »
    Well I'm married and haven't dated in forever. But, it was never predetermined for me. It was totally dependent on the chemistry and tension. The guys that send DTF lines are a$$clowns IMO.

    I get a kick out of it, the message gets deleted before its opened. But i'm like do they seriously expect a reply. Can only imagine what type of **** they have haha

  • jessie51moore
    jessie51moore Posts: 133 Member
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    I believe it is well determined on the intentions of the date. However i also believe that those intentions are subject to change through the course of the night. Example: From the get go there is naturally a physical attraction or the date would not be in question however if while on the date she turns out to be a wench definitely ons and don't ever call her again. On the other hand if she makes me feel good while I'm around her then a second date is a definite and relationship could spawn. Now on the dtf i guess women respond if they need some Wang but other than that it's a lane gesture.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
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    When I used a dating site a couple years ago, I had an idea of what kind of person I was looking for. Meeting different men helped shape that expectation further as I was able to be "myself" and see how they reacted to the person I am.
    I learned very quickly if they were worthy of a 2nd date. There was only one, the man I'm going to marry next spring.

    A true relationship should be finding someone who values you for who YOU are. Never settle just to be in a relationship.

    Unless your just looking for or to be a ONS, then you just need to protect your health not your heart.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    ThomasW13 wrote: »
    i think its best not have any expectations of anything one way or the other. play it by ear. ONS yeah maybe, it happens. maybe it happens more than once even. but its stupid to go in planning on that. even dumber to go in planning on a "relationship" after one date too though.

    i wouldn't know if its something that might "last" until after sex. even then, after a few weeks. maybe. i have my own personal standards for a "relationship" same as anybody else. gotta do your best to keep the weeds out.

    its a lot of hard work. that's why its easier to just send duck pics and and promise them the most intense 1-2 mins of their life.

    Lol your too much. I know what you mean though. I just joined the site out of boredom mostly, I figured it was a way to get out there and be more social. But after seeing most of the messages I was like dam these sites suck are all men like this? One guy asked if he could "tie me up like Mr. Grey and tickle me with his poking device" O_O Its gotta get better than this

  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
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    I was on a dating site for a whole week and half before I deleted. I am also curious as to expectations of the first date. I try and go in with no expectations myself and just play things by ear. One thing is for sure....the dating world is way crazier than back when I was a fresh dumb 19 year old!
  • jessie51moore
    jessie51moore Posts: 133 Member
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    Relax not all men are like that i got one am against dating sites i met my wife in high school when i was 16. So i believe that when it's meant to be it will be until then just have fun. You will know when it's the right one, so you shouldn't stress over finding him/her.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    melmelw03 wrote: »
    I was on a dating site for a whole week and half before I deleted. I am also curious as to expectations of the first date. I try and go in with no expectations myself and just play things by ear. One thing is for sure....the dating world is way crazier than back when I was a fresh dumb 19 year old!

    Right?!?!?! 5 years ago dating was easy, now it kinda seems like a joke. Ill give the site a few more days, but im sure ill be deleting it as well.

  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    My expectations these days (and I'm a woman, since my PP doesn't show that) is "Alright, you're up. Impress me." That's how I go into every date. I also have found that I'm more attracted to the men who don't kiss me on the first date. That's just me, though. I'm not "DTF" as you put it and I'm very up front about that.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    My expectations these days (and I'm a woman, since my PP doesn't show that) is "Alright, you're up. Impress me." That's how I go into every date. I also have found that I'm more attracted to the men who don't kiss me on the first date. That's just me, though. I'm not "DTF" as you put it and I'm very up front about that.

    I like you, your like me...Thats how I go into most dates, because I am a very accomplished person so I am seeking someone of the same nature not a DB. I get a kick out of it that many of the guys I meet online cant say yes to some of the simplest questions... "Do you drive?", "No.", "Do you have a job", "No." and there's your sign.

  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    edited September 2015
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    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    My expectations these days (and I'm a woman, since my PP doesn't show that) is "Alright, you're up. Impress me." That's how I go into every date. I also have found that I'm more attracted to the men who don't kiss me on the first date. That's just me, though. I'm not "DTF" as you put it and I'm very up front about that.

    I like you, your like me...Thats how I go into most dates, because I am a very accomplished person so I am seeking someone of the same nature not a DB. I get a kick out of it that many of the guys I meet online cant say yes to some of the simplest questions... "Do you drive?", "No.", "Do you have a job", "No." and there's your sign.

    Pretty much. I also don't respond to messages that say "sup?" or "Gud morning." Really? Is it that hard to spell things?

  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    wolfsbayne wrote: »
    My expectations these days (and I'm a woman, since my PP doesn't show that) is "Alright, you're up. Impress me." That's how I go into every date. I also have found that I'm more attracted to the men who don't kiss me on the first date. That's just me, though. I'm not "DTF" as you put it and I'm very up front about that.

    I like you, your like me...Thats how I go into most dates, because I am a very accomplished person so I am seeking someone of the same nature not a DB. I get a kick out of it that many of the guys I meet online cant say yes to some of the simplest questions... "Do you drive?", "No.", "Do you have a job", "No." and there's your sign.

    Pretty much. I also don't respond to messages that say "sup?" or "Gud morning." Really? Is it that hard to spell things?

    It says right on my profile I wont respond to one word messages, and if you cant spell your time is up

  • jessie51moore
    jessie51moore Posts: 133 Member
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    That is also something i dislike short hand text and single word messages. If you really don't have the time too talk or don't want too talk. Then come back when you do
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    jessie51moore wrote: »
    That is also something i dislike short hand text and single word messages. If you really don't have the time too talk or don't want too talk. Then come back when you do

    Exactly, say something intriguing to grab my attention...Or you get the opposite guys who copy and paste a long *kitten* message to every girls inbox

  • jessie51moore
    jessie51moore Posts: 133 Member
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    Yeah. It's like well if it worked for her it will work on all women
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    jessie51moore wrote: »
    That is also something i dislike short hand text and single word messages. If you really don't have the time too talk or don't want too talk. Then come back when you do

    Exactly, say something intriguing to grab my attention...Or you get the opposite guys who copy and paste a long *kitten* message to every girls inbox

    I think those are scammers. I've gotten a few messages like those from nice looking men (according to their pics) that are all very similar in composure. Usually, the grammar is a little off, like they don't speak English well. I just delete them.

    Recently, I've gotten messages from a few married men looking for side action. No pic (for obvious reasons) and they are up front. Usually lamenting that they aren't getting enough at home. Dude, maybe you suck at sex and she doesn't WANT to have sex with you.

    It's made me delete my accounts. I'm just annoyed with men at the moment.
  • ald783
    ald783 Posts: 688 Member
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    I'm not sure what site you're on but I think the "sup gurl DTF?" messages are the minority. Most people on there are weird for other reasons.

    I think it's good to go in open minded but I won't go out with someone if there is not some initial attraction based on conversation, etc. The idea of putting in legwork to arrange for what will intentionally be a one night stand seems way too tedious. I don't go in looking to get married but if they don't seem like someone I'd want to hang out with for more than a night I'm not going to go out with them in the first place when I could stay home doing something more important like watching Netflix.

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