"You don't NEED to lose anymore weight!!!"
Options
PinkPixiexox
Posts: 4,142 Member
Is anyone else familiar with the "That's enough now.. You don't need to lose anymore weight, you'll look GAUNT" conversation? *Rolls Eyes*
People are very quick to offer their unasked for opinions when someone is going through the 'Weight Loss Process' and rarely are they positive (unless of course, it's on support groups/forums such as this!).
I'm 5 foot 2 and I started this 'transformation' around 5 months ago at 157lbs. Technically, I was overweight for my height (I still argue that I'm under-tall!) yet people said nothing. In fairness, I would have been devastated had someone came out with "You need to lose weight" but the point is, my weight wasn't commented on by my colleagues/friends - it was left alone.
Now, at 128lbs - the comments are rolling in from colleagues about how I've "Lost a bit!". I was asked today if I planned to lose anymore and I stupidly answered "Yes, I have around 10lbs until I'm at my ultimate goal". You'd think I suggested I cut off my arms and legs for fun, the shock! the horror! The "ARE YOU STUPID?!". I'm obviously so used to being a MFP member that I totally didn't expect the fallout!
"You'll look like a walking lollipop" and "Skinny isn't attractive, you know?" were just two of the comments that stuck in my mind for the sheer rudeness. I had to carefully explain to these people that another 8-10lbs would still keep me in a comfortable, healthy weight range for my height and from there I would aim to build some lean muscle. I have excess fat that I could probably do with reducing a little more - I'm not being hard on myself or obsessive, it's just plain fact.
Why do people assume that your weight loss plan equal some kind of crazy restrictive and 'I MUST BE SKINNY' diet programme? I am the healthiest and fittest I have ever been and I am dedicated and motivated to reach my goals. I have no intention in looking 'skinny' or 'gaunt' and the way people 'warn' me is just not okay, in my opinion!
I feel like they mean well and I feel they are trying to pay me a compliment here - in a backhanded roundabout way, but how would you deal with the "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE SKINNY!!!" comments that are thrown around?!
If I put on weight again, I'd doubt they'd scream "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE FAT" at me!
Happy Friday, beautifuls
People are very quick to offer their unasked for opinions when someone is going through the 'Weight Loss Process' and rarely are they positive (unless of course, it's on support groups/forums such as this!).
I'm 5 foot 2 and I started this 'transformation' around 5 months ago at 157lbs. Technically, I was overweight for my height (I still argue that I'm under-tall!) yet people said nothing. In fairness, I would have been devastated had someone came out with "You need to lose weight" but the point is, my weight wasn't commented on by my colleagues/friends - it was left alone.
Now, at 128lbs - the comments are rolling in from colleagues about how I've "Lost a bit!". I was asked today if I planned to lose anymore and I stupidly answered "Yes, I have around 10lbs until I'm at my ultimate goal". You'd think I suggested I cut off my arms and legs for fun, the shock! the horror! The "ARE YOU STUPID?!". I'm obviously so used to being a MFP member that I totally didn't expect the fallout!
"You'll look like a walking lollipop" and "Skinny isn't attractive, you know?" were just two of the comments that stuck in my mind for the sheer rudeness. I had to carefully explain to these people that another 8-10lbs would still keep me in a comfortable, healthy weight range for my height and from there I would aim to build some lean muscle. I have excess fat that I could probably do with reducing a little more - I'm not being hard on myself or obsessive, it's just plain fact.
Why do people assume that your weight loss plan equal some kind of crazy restrictive and 'I MUST BE SKINNY' diet programme? I am the healthiest and fittest I have ever been and I am dedicated and motivated to reach my goals. I have no intention in looking 'skinny' or 'gaunt' and the way people 'warn' me is just not okay, in my opinion!
I feel like they mean well and I feel they are trying to pay me a compliment here - in a backhanded roundabout way, but how would you deal with the "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE SKINNY!!!" comments that are thrown around?!
If I put on weight again, I'd doubt they'd scream "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE FAT" at me!
Happy Friday, beautifuls
0
Replies
-
Completely understand- although it's gone both ways for me. I was bullied for being fat in school so I became obsessed with losing weight so much that it became an addiction and I was soon diagnosed with anorexia nervosa- no negative comments, it wasn't an attention thing just an- I became addicted to exercising thing. So I set out to gain the weight and be healthy again. Now I'm getting comments left, right and centre- don't lose weight; you are perfect for your bmi (I am, but if I gain even .5 of a kilo I'll be over it, so I'd rather lose a few more and be at mid bmi range), others are making comments about my weight indirectly like you should try celebrity slim or start coming to the gym with me, and then of course there's the ones nervous that I'll become addicted again- I won't, I'm in control and in a much better mind frame now- all mean well, but sometimes you just gotta do you, and aim for the body you want, not the one others think you should have. As long as you are a healthy weight, that's all that matters. Good luck 0
-
best answer to any of it ..,. "we'll see" .. i dont disclose that i'm losing or gaining to anyone, its my body.0
-
Happened to me as well. I still have loads to lose but according to certain friends and co-workers I should stop losing weight now otherwise I will be too small. URGH!!! People!!!0
-
LOL I know how you feel! when I tell ppl my goals (because they are very similar to your I'm 5'3" and would like to be in the 120-125 range) I get all sorts of looks and replies. Annoying to say the least. Its so funny that you wrote this because I had this same thought the other day. At one point 2 pregnancies ago I had gotten down from 190 to 150 and would get all sorts of varied responses both good and bad. Know that I am back up to 213 (just had a baby 10weeks ago and slacked a lot before then
) NO ONE has said anything....
Looking back I am pretty sure it was their own insecurities about themselves more than it was me. But now that I know that I can use it as motivation. Before when I heard, "you'll look like a beam pole" or " you look great right now why lose more" I took it to heart and let myself get derailed! How crazy is that!
So i guess the moral or ramblings= great job for staying on course and not truly taking to heart what others say AND ppl can be stupid LOL
Happy Friday to you0 -
You might consider "nope" for an answer.
"Are you planning to lose more weight?"
"Nope!"
10 pounds later...
"Have you lost more weight?"
"Nope!"0 -
-
I think I understand what you mean, but for different reasons - I've not lost enough weight for anyone to notice yet!. In my case, it's to do with my disability; random strangers in the middle of Asda asking me what's wrong with me, or fussing my dog despite her wearing a jacket that says she's an Assistance Dog and a leash flash that says Please Do Not Distract (she is incredibly cute though, and the first Bichon Frise Assistance Dog in the UK so I'm a bit more tolerant that people don't recognise her as an A.D)
Although the reasons are different, I'll share with you how I manage it and it might help. Sometimes, I use it as an opportunity to educate, especially if it's a young adult/child. My theory is that this makes it a positive experience for everyone and hopefully they'll have a bit more understanding with the next disabled person they meet.
Other times if I'm busy/tired/just not in the mood, I'll say "Would you fuss a blind person's assistance dog?" (No, they wouldn't!), or "That's very personal, why are you asking?"
Either way, my philosophy is that I can't control other people's actions, only my reactions, and that's a philosophy that's transferable to any 'awkward' statements.0 -
CurlyCockney wrote: »I think I understand what you mean, but for different reasons - I've not lost enough weight for anyone to notice yet!. In my case, it's to do with my disability; random strangers in the middle of Asda asking me what's wrong with me, or fussing my dog despite her wearing a jacket that says she's an Assistance Dog and a leash flash that says Please Do Not Distract (she is incredibly cute though, and the first Bichon Frise Assistance Dog in the UK so I'm a bit more tolerant that people don't recognise her as an A.D)
Although the reasons are different, I'll share with you how I manage it and it might help. Sometimes, I use it as an opportunity to educate, especially if it's a young adult/child. My theory is that this makes it a positive experience for everyone and hopefully they'll have a bit more understanding with the next disabled person they meet.
Other times if I'm busy/tired/just not in the mood, I'll say "Would you fuss a blind person's assistance dog?" (No, they wouldn't!), or "That's very personal, why are you asking?"
Either way, my philosophy is that I can't control other people's actions, only my reactions, and that's a philosophy that's transferable to any 'awkward' statements.
Fantastic. Thank you.0 -
Today I had a whole lot of that conversation.
Them wanting to know if I were going to keep losing weight or if I were planning to stop now.
Me hedging.
Thing is, I'm not even at the halfway point of my normal BMI range yet. I'm really close ... like within 1 kg, but not quite there. And I'd like to get into the lower half of my normal BMI range.
I'm not planning to go underweight.
I'm not even planning to go right to the bottom of my normal BMI range.
I'd just like to be somewhere in that lower half of the range so I don't have so much weight to haul up the hills around here. I want to be able to cycle up hills and not feel like I'm dying when I get halfway up!!
And the funny thing is, I spent a lot of years in that lower half of the range ... only the people I know now, even my husband, never knew me then. So what seems normal to me, seems skinny to them.0 -
I just find it strange that losing weight, with a lot of people - can be met with this 'be careful' attitude. No one was telling me to 'be careful' when I was overweight and struggling to walk up the stairs without puffing. My body is now smaller and my heart is far healthier yet NOW i'm getting the concerned warnings despite being physically in a better place. It seems like the general rule is, say nothing about people being overweight but say ALL THE WORDS to someone actively losing. It's a strange one!
Weight has always, always been a really sensitive subject for me. Ever since I was very young, I was substantially over-weight. If I got 'fat' comments from unkind people, I would cry for days. But it doesn't feel good getting picked on for being (finally) a healthy size. Seems we can't win!
0 -
1. When you lose a lot of weight, you look much thinner than you are to people who have known you. It's like an optical illusion. Sometimes, you appear a little older. So in some ways it's understandable.
2. In many cases, YOUR weight loss stands in direct contrast to their LACK of weight loss. Even though you have no intention of doing so, your physical presence is a rebuke to their lifestyle habits and it can be threatening. Shaming you about losing more is a way for them to reassert control.0 -
I know. Those comments are as helpful as someone telling you you arebfst, when it is you who looks in the mirror all the time.... Not helping me, folks! :-(0
-
Ignore them. There's lots of skinny fat people walking around too! The only important marker is your percent of bodyfat.0
-
-
Eh, people have asked me if I plan to lose more weight and stated that I didn't look like I needed to lose any more. The concept/opinion is not inherently offensive. From the two comments you posted, those people were being witches...0
-
lol it's dumb. people tell me I don't need to. like yes, I may not NEED to, but I want to. I'm 7 lbs overweight but I don't need to be obese to want to do something about my weight.0
-
I've had it, I got told I was fat plenty of times at the high end of the scale... Especially by my doctor when I had to have health checks for contraception. My parents were kind about it but told me I was getting big, now i've kick started the health program for a long while and am doing really well, a few people tell me i'm getting too thin (mainly my grandparents and the older generation) but most people are just being positive and telling me I look well. Not looking forward to the point of 'too thin' though!!
On the other hand; i've had to be the person saying someone is 'too thin' as they went down to 800 cals a day from about 3000 and was dropping weight too quickly and unhealthily, she ended up in hospital due to the rapid weight loss, her body went into shock and couldn't function properly... I did try to warn her, but I don't do it to people generally losing weight properly and to be healthy and fit.0 -
PinkPixiexox wrote: »I just find it strange that losing weight, with a lot of people - can be met with this 'be careful' attitude. No one was telling me to 'be careful' when I was overweight and struggling to walk up the stairs without puffing. My body is now smaller and my heart is far healthier yet NOW i'm getting the concerned warnings despite being physically in a better place. It seems like the general rule is, say nothing about people being overweight but say ALL THE WORDS to someone actively losing. It's a strange one!
Weight has always, always been a really sensitive subject for me. Ever since I was very young, I was substantially over-weight. If I got 'fat' comments from unkind people, I would cry for days. But it doesn't feel good getting picked on for being (finally) a healthy size. Seems we can't win!
It's political correctness gone mad!!! Btw, you do look fantastic
0 -
rugratz2015 wrote: »PinkPixiexox wrote: »I just find it strange that losing weight, with a lot of people - can be met with this 'be careful' attitude. No one was telling me to 'be careful' when I was overweight and struggling to walk up the stairs without puffing. My body is now smaller and my heart is far healthier yet NOW i'm getting the concerned warnings despite being physically in a better place. It seems like the general rule is, say nothing about people being overweight but say ALL THE WORDS to someone actively losing. It's a strange one!
Weight has always, always been a really sensitive subject for me. Ever since I was very young, I was substantially over-weight. If I got 'fat' comments from unkind people, I would cry for days. But it doesn't feel good getting picked on for being (finally) a healthy size. Seems we can't win!
It's political correctness gone mad!!! Btw, you do look fantastic
You are so kind :]
And have made my day. Thankyou!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 390 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 922 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions