Any advice to convince wife lifting isnt just for men?

patesq

I started doing mainly cardio. Then I added upper body weights because I figured my legs were getting enough of a workout carrying me around. Then, as I started losing weight, I started working on my legs because they didn't have as much weight to carry around. I've noticed that my cardio capability has increased since I added weight training on my legs. Bulking up (if that's what she's trying to avoid) isn't a necessary consequence of resistance training but it sure does a body good. Women, especially, need to watch their bone density.

Traveler120

There are plenty of women who don't lift weights and have nice, lean and toned bodies and all they do is run, cycle, spin, bodyweight exercise, pilates, yoga etc. If she wanted to lift weights she'd already have done so by now. Some women, like me, are just not into barbells, not because we're ignorant or afraid of bulking, we just don't want to.

If she's stopped losing weight despite all the cardio she does, it's not because she's reached some kind of limit. It's because she's eating at a maintenance level equal to her activity level. She either needs to increase her activity, or eat less or both.

smileymaxine

Maybe try a class ... If your gym has them thongs like body pump and kettle bells always have women in them also lots of easy to follow moves good music and doesn't make you feel like you will bulk. Might not get results as fast but I love my classes.
Maybe see about a personal trainer session

MeanderingMammal

crpoll5 wrote: »

She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio.

She's not losing because she's not in deficit, it doesn't matter whether she's doing CV or resistance work.

I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat.

How much of that failure to convince her is because your assertion is wrong? Resistance training creates a different type of repair need, so helps with composition. As she's not in deficit she's not optimising how her excess fuel is used.

Turn your message into something positive, and informed, and she might be more receptive.

How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband.

The conversation really depends on your relationship and equally how informed you really are on how the body responds to training.

Resistance training <> lifting weights, bodyweight work or strap systems work well, so the right answer for her may be different. Equally what motivates her to train, what does she enjoy about what she does?

I'd suggest that this is about supporting her in achieving her goals, not convincing her to do what you want her to do.

jennifer_417

Cardio vs strength training don't have that much to do with losing weight. Only a calorie deficit will create a weight loss.

ewrook

The big obstacle I've encountered trying to bring weight training into my exercise plan is that whenever I start working with weights, I get sore, and it interferes with my very modest cardio activities. Going from not fit to fit, it's been difficult to shift my life also to fit in sessions to the gym. I'm aiming for twice a week strength training, and it's on a list, and I have been going easy, which may not be as beneficial. Not getting there twice yet, but with it will happen if I keep trying to work at it.

auddii

I agree with a lot of the information you've already been given. Lifting weights has a lot of benefits including helping to retain bone density and not losing muscle will help older individuals maintain mobility. I've been really looking around at a lot of older people, and there's a huge difference in quality of life based on their ability to move around easily or not.

That said, lifting weights isn't the only way to get there. I love lifting, but many women don't, and that's fine. There are tons of types of resistance training, and some women don't like it at all. If she doesn't enjoy something, she's not going to do it long term. You can point her in the direction of the supah bulky thread above, and bret contreras has some good info on why women should lift. But, it's her decision.

And i agree with the statement that if she's not losing, she's eating too much. Adding lifting to her program isn't going to make her magically lose. In fact, many women get frustrated with lifting because they experience a gain when they first start or sometimes a very long stall in losses.

She needs to be tracking her calories accurately, eating at a moderate deficit, eating foods that keep her satiated so that she's able to stay within her goal, and doing exercise she enjoys to help maintain longterm health.

Gianfranco_R

crpoll5 wrote: »

My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?

http://www.acsm.org/about-acsm/media-room/news-releases/2011/08/01/acsm-issues-new-recommendations-on-quantity-and-quality-of-exercise

MGarcia0504

Get her the book Lift to get lean by Holly Perkins. I was on the fence to start lifting and my husband bought me it. She explains why lifting isn't just for men and doesn't mean that you'll get all big like a man. Also talks about changes to make in your diet and explains proper use of the machines. Plus it also has lifting plans in it that range from beginner to expert. It's a great book.

ecjim

jennifer_417 wrote: »

Cardio vs strength training don't have that much to do with losing weight. Only a calorie deficit will create a weight loss.

True statement - if you just care about the weight - If you lift moderately heavy (what ever is heavy for you) you are going to keep muscle while loosing fat. The weight? who knows - you will probably have a smaller waist . Better looking (and stronger) arms and legs, and a better appetite - Eastcoast Jim

dasher602014

Women, particularly, should be lifting weights. However, we cannot 'make' some one do something. I am sure at some point her doctor will recommend weights. The difference in bone density of lifters is amazing. Any internet search will show a positive connection between lifting weights and bone density. I am much older and just getting back to exercise, including weights.

A quick search gave me this reference but there are plenty of studies and exercise plans online.

http://health.clevelandclinic.org/2012/08/the-best-workouts-for-osteoporosis/

pinkiemarie252

I used to do tons of cardio. I was 10 lbs lighter and 2 sizes bigger. Then I got into lifting and the rest is history. Buuuuuut if she doesn't want to, there may be no way to convince her. I don't think you said WHY she doesn't want to. Does she think it's boring? Is she intimidated by the men in the weight section? Is she afraid of looking bulky? There are lots of reasons women don't lift. It isn't for everybody

SherryTeach

Actually? I would mind my own business and let an adult wife mind hers.

rileyes

There are days I just want to avoid the heavy lifting. And on those days I circuit train and throw in more reps with lighter weights. Barbell lifting may just appear as grunt work to her as it does to me many days. But I think it leans me out better than anything else including running. I'm thinking, if she is not challenging herself anymore with her form of cardio, she could just be spinning her wheels. Maybe circuit training (bodyweight with some Kettlebells/Dumbbells thrown in can help her break the plateau and lead her to heavier lifting.

utahmomof10

amyrebeccah wrote: »

You got a lot of good advice. I'll tell you right now, nothing ever would have gotten me to do it based on needling or hints. I had to be ready to do it on my own. After I saw plenty of MFP threads and saw how much fun it looked to be getting strong, one day I told my husband I thought I might like to try it. He smiled a little, came home and bought us a power cage and Olympic barbell. He wanted to take advantage of the enthusiasm. It worked. Lifting is my fave for life.

What can you do? This may not be what you want to hear, but don't bug her about it. If she asks questions, answer them. If she complains about lack of progress, ask her why she doesn't want to try lifting, and try to address those concerns. But otherwise, butt out.

THIS! I'm almost 41. My husband started weight lifting last year and tried for months to convince me to start. I resisted hard, because in my cardio-bunny mind it wasn't what was going to help me reach my goal of getting back into my size 6 pants. He kept going, of course, and I started getting a little more curious. I would take cursory glances at his "Starting Strength" book and decided the information was interesting, but irrelevant for me and my goals.

Then, one day I decided it wouldn't hurt to try it. I mean, if I hated it I could just stop, right? Besides, it was winter time and I couldn't do much of my running anyway (I hate the treadmill!), and I still needed some exercise. So I agreed to try it with him until the weather got warm enough to get back outside where I really wanted to be.

Well, I got hooked. I got back into my cardio groove with the season change, but I've continued with the lifting, too. In fact, most of the time I'm the one making sure we don't miss a day. I've progressed in my strength, but what I love the most is the change it has made in my body composition. I'm much more toned, and even though I weigh 10 pounds more than I did this time last year, I wear the same size clothes and look and feel better in them. I've even come to terms with the fact that I will likely never fit into size 6 pants again because of my increased muscle tone, because I like what I see in the mirror so much more than I did even when I was skinny. I love seeing the definition forming in my arms/shoulders, legs, butt and waist. I still have a ways to go to meet my goal of 20% body fat (I'm not so worried anymore about what the number on the scale will be), but I definitely like the road I'm on.

Bottom line, OP: If she's anything like me, you can't pester her into it. Just keep the option open and your fingers crossed and hopefully she'll come around.