Any advice to convince wife lifting isnt just for men?

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crpoll5
crpoll5 Posts: 105 Member
edited September 2015 in Fitness and Exercise
My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?
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Replies

  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
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    New rules of lifting for women
    Jamie Eason Live Fit Trainer
    Strong Curves

    I think for a lot of women, it's all mental and a lack of knowledge. New rules and strong curves does a lot to discuss how women will not get "bulky" and "big" from lifting weights. She needs to learn that cardio is not necessarily king. Does she notice the women that lift? What are her opinions on them? Maybe if she pays attention to them, she will see that they aren't bulky or big or gross. They are strong which to me, is way more important. Anyway, good luck!
  • sscarmack
    sscarmack Posts: 210 Member
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    Enough said :)

    b4ac0b6086586e1438054cbfc040f787.jpg
  • lili61
    lili61 Posts: 231 Member
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    I looked at enough photos of women who lift to realize those were the body types I'm after. Not nearly done, or trying to toot my own horn, but the below picture is before and after I did New Rules of Lifting for Women, and only about 7 pounds difference. It totally changed my body and how I look at exercise.

    bnaz3v26abbm.jpg

    mfp.JPG 69.9K
  • louise13dunstan
    louise13dunstan Posts: 74 Member
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    I love weights. I do slow reps until muscle failiure, it gives u definition and quick. If she alternates that 30mins 3 times.a week with a couple of 15min Hiit sessions she will see a real difference. We dont hold the levels of testosterone to bulk up naturally
  • louise13dunstan
    louise13dunstan Posts: 74 Member
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    Oh and trx is the bugs nuts
  • piperdown44
    piperdown44 Posts: 958 Member
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    Is she a member of MFP? If so just have her read this thread https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/977538/halp-heavy-lifting-made-me-supah-bulky/p1
  • JamestheLiar
    JamestheLiar Posts: 148 Member
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    OP, in your post you wrote, "she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat." Can you explain what you mean by this statement?

    My first reaction to this post is to remind you that everyone has their own fitness goals, and lifting weights may not be a part of hers. Either way, that is for her to decide. If she is not losing weight, it is because she is not in a calorie deficit. That's the plain truth. Trading cardio for strength training will not necessarily help with that.

    To answer your question, I don't know how to convince any human being on the planet to start lifting weights. How were YOU convinced?
  • Ironmaiden4life
    Ironmaiden4life Posts: 422 Member
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    JamestheLiar wrote: »
    OP, in your post you wrote, "she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat." Can you explain what you mean by this statement?

    My first reaction to this post is to remind you that everyone has their own fitness goals, and lifting weights may not be a part of hers. Either way, that is for her to decide. If she is not losing weight, it is because she is not in a calorie deficit. That's the plain truth. Trading cardio for strength training will not necessarily help with that.

    To answer your question, I don't know how to convince any human being on the planet to start lifting weights. How were YOU convinced?

    ^^^Makes a good point

    OP instead of coming at this from the aesthetics angle talk to her about the health benefits (which are way more important anyway) of resistance training for women. Staving off osteoporosis,retaining bone mass, keeping her healthy and strong etc. Most women who have got themselves locked into the cardio bunny mindset have no idea how important resistance training is for for their health.

    If she is very hesitant about venturing into the weight room suggest she starts with a body pump type of class.

    I would however be very careful how you go about this one though. Whilst I'm sure you're not saying this what she might hear is 'I would find you more attractive if you lifted and toned up'

  • ovidnine
    ovidnine Posts: 314 Member
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    If she isn't interested, there may be no convincing her. Have you asked her WHY she isn't interested in trying them?

    My wife is almost the same age and knows that if she lifted even a little bit she'd lose more weight, but she's intimidated by the weight area at her gym. (Or the people there, either way.)

    I'm hoping when I get my garage finished there's room for a squat rack up front and will see if I can get her doing some lifting 2-3x a week. Nothing crazy, just enough to help her upper body build some muscle and help accelerate her weight loss. This would give her a "safe" place to learn some lifts and build some confidence.

    But, if she's set in her reasons, no amount of "convincing" will work and the potential for hurt feelings could be high.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    JamestheLiar wrote: »
    OP, in your post you wrote, "she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat." Can you explain what you mean by this statement?

    My first reaction to this post is to remind you that everyone has their own fitness goals, and lifting weights may not be a part of hers. Either way, that is for her to decide. If she is not losing weight, it is because she is not in a calorie deficit. That's the plain truth. Trading cardio for strength training will not necessarily help with that.

    To answer your question, I don't know how to convince any human being on the planet to start lifting weights. How were YOU convinced?

    I'd have to agree with this. This is something that I wouldn't push at all. I think that weights are great and awesome and I can't imagine not lifting them but not everybody feels the same way. My husband hates lifting weights. He thinks it's the most boring thing ever. He had to do it when he was younger for sports and hated it then and once he no longer was on a team he stopped lifting. He broke down and tried it with me once several months ago and still did not enjoy it. So he just doesn't do it now. Yeah, I kind of wish he was more into them but I'm not going to push him to do something he doesn't like.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    crpoll5 wrote: »
    My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?

    No. She is not losing because currently she is eating at maintenance. Whether she will eat less, add strength training or choose to hop around the enighbourhood to create a deficit is up to her, IF she wants to create one.
    Not all women who have nice bodies use weights.
    To give you an opposite example, in my gym, most women (not all) you would meet lifting in the late evening, they honestly do not look good. It has nothing to do with weight lifting, it is just coincidence. Weight lifting does not guarantee a nice body. Take a look at some of the olympic medalists in weight lifting (women). They are all incredibly strong, many have a body that would not be called slim or even lean by any stretch of the meaning.
    If she frequents the gym a lot, at her age, she probably knows what she likes. She cannot commit to a training routine because you think it would be better for her. What if she told you that male dancers have usually awesome bodies (and they usually do). Would you feel comfortable starting ballet classes because your wife like the bodies of dancers and hopes it will work for you too?
  • rileyes
    rileyes Posts: 1,404 Member
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    The compound lifting gives me more power in tennis.

    And, when I'm 90, I don't want to be worrying about breaking a hip or waiting for someone to open a door for me.
  • ohmscheeks
    ohmscheeks Posts: 840 Member
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    So, the thing is that you have to lift weights instead of cardio to lose weight now? *yawns*
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
    edited September 2015
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    crpoll5 wrote: »
    My wife (44) is totally into fitness and goes to the gym daily with me. She peaked and cant lose any more weight because all she does is cardio. I cant convince her she needs to lift weights because her body is used to the calorie burns and is storing fat. I look at other women who enter the gym and go straight to the weights compared to the ones who are cardio only. There is a huge difference. (No, I am not a gym creeper). How can I convince my wife to start lifting weights if she wants the body she desires without being a jerk of a husband. Also, is there a good website or program for women and weight lifting?

    If you really believe the bolded, you're not in any shape to talk to anyone about weight loss. I wonder if your wife really wants to lose more weight/change her physique, or if that's what you want her to do.

    EDIT: English are hard language. :tongue:
  • marissafit06
    marissafit06 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    She has to come around to it on her own, honestly. My husband told me to lift heavier weights for 9 years, but it wasn't what I wanted to do. Turns out he was right, that lifting weights would help me achieve my aesthetic goals, but I need to realize that on my own.
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
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    May be this will help - Eastcoast Jim

    5e3cls2cvrd0.jpg
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
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    or this
    iubkctcqexnm.jpg
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
    edited September 2015
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    Ironmaiden4life wrote: »
    OP instead of coming at this from the aesthetics angle talk to her about the health benefits (which are way more important anyway) of resistance training for women. Staving off osteoporosis,retaining bone mass, keeping her healthy and strong etc. Most women who have got themselves locked into the cardio bunny mindset have no idea how important resistance training is for for their health.

    This is great. Not to mention the brain benefits (neurogenesis). The more I've learned, the more I'm convinced every man, woman, and child should ideally be lifting.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    ecjim wrote: »
    or this
    iubkctcqexnm.jpg

    My favorite one !! ( I've never been to a yoga class in my life :wink:
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
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    women-who-lift-weights-will-bulk.jpg

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