Settings rule for a teenager

cafeaulait7

She sounds like she has my taste in food Yeah, I'd try dessert-like, healthy and filling recipes for breakfast and snacks. Have her look up some recipes, too, if she'd find that interesting or fun. Of course, portion size matters, but you can get her thinking more about what makes the perfect breakfast or snack for her nutrition-wise, and that will help nudge her into thinking about serving size on her own, too, I'd expect.

I love muffins and breads that are packed with fiber and often nuts and even veggies in the mix (you can't taste them, or use carrot). One trick is a few mini chocolate chips in them or a cream cheese frosting or filling (not made with much sugar). Yum! Low fat sour cream in the batter is another good way to add some more protein that still tastes great with a sweet tooth. Or as a frosting ingredient. There are lots of tricks to make them more filling and nutritious. Oh, I love bran mixed in, too. Good luck

RodaRose

I grew up with my three siblings (close in age and on a limited food budget. )
We understood which foods my mom was saving for later or for a different meal. Planning and extending household resources is logical to most people in her age group. Have these conversations away from food times.
One of the best ways to get her to understand allocating resources is to get her involved in meal planning, preparing, and cooking.

Try to let go of the concern about what she is putting in her mouth and when. It is her body -- the same body she will nourish her whole life.
You have been a good mother to her. Now let her do some learning on her own without you. I am certain that if needs needs anything she will ask you.

RodaRose

michelle7673 wrote: »

I'm wondering if the breakfast food issue offers an opportunity to deal with this from a nutrition/performance angle and not a "weight" angle per se....
I was a kid/teen who loathed just about all traditional breakfast food. So I get that. Maybe if you could engage her in some studies or articles about the importance of breakfast, and the importance of including protein and other nutrients in breakfast...? If she likes smoothies, even a smoothie made from greek yogurt/bananas/frozen berries/honey is better than cake and would also be filling.
I'm not a mother, but I was a step-girlfriend to a girl from 7 to 13, so I know how sensitive this is and how important it is to educate while empowering and supporting. I noticed the "she likes to make her own smoothies" part and that sounded like my experience.
This is a kid who will soon have the opportunity to make choices on food that you can't control or may not even know, so really, this has to be something she chooses. If she is becoming weight-conscious, you are ready to give her suggestions when she asks for them.
Finally, I would encourage you to rethink the opportunities for more activity or sports or exercise. If there is something else that she gravitates to, the problem may literally solve itself (the additional activity plus the peer element of it). I am a big believer in sports for girls from a health and self-esteem standpoint.

Breakfast is no more important than other meal. Timing does not matter.
The studies about breakfast helping school performance only hold up for very low income children who do not have enough nutrition/ calories in their total day.

hekla90

oh_happy_day wrote: »

hekla90 wrote: »

Surprised no one has mentioned it but it doesnt matter if she over eats healthy food or junk food- she'll still gain weight. Since we don't know more details let's not forget that overeating can also be an eating disorder, by far more common than others. I don't think anyone would tell this mom to butt out if she had a child that was under eating or throwing up everything she ate. Not saying I have the answer as to what to do, but try to figure out why she snacks so much. I don't think it's inappropriate to get a handle on it while your daughter is "Chubby" (whatever that means) and before she is more overweight and obese. Also, women in general tend to stop growing in height after puberty and their period starts. Unless it's common in your family she's probably not going to shoot up 5 inches and magically lean out. She's probably just overweight at this point (due to overeating). Maybe get her started on a busy hobby like knitting or crocheting that she can do to keep her hands busy so she doesn't eat when she's bored.

The OP said that her daughter has only just started puberty, so she could be as young as 9. She's probably got a few more inches up her sleeve...

Started my period at 10 and haven't grown in height since. Same as many other women I know. /shrug

oh_happy_day

hekla90 wrote: »

oh_happy_day wrote: »

hekla90 wrote: »

Surprised no one has mentioned it but it doesnt matter if she over eats healthy food or junk food- she'll still gain weight. Since we don't know more details let's not forget that overeating can also be an eating disorder, by far more common than others. I don't think anyone would tell this mom to butt out if she had a child that was under eating or throwing up everything she ate. Not saying I have the answer as to what to do, but try to figure out why she snacks so much. I don't think it's inappropriate to get a handle on it while your daughter is "Chubby" (whatever that means) and before she is more overweight and obese. Also, women in general tend to stop growing in height after puberty and their period starts. Unless it's common in your family she's probably not going to shoot up 5 inches and magically lean out. She's probably just overweight at this point (due to overeating). Maybe get her started on a busy hobby like knitting or crocheting that she can do to keep her hands busy so she doesn't eat when she's bored.

The OP said that her daughter has only just started puberty, so she could be as young as 9. She's probably got a few more inches up her sleeve...

Started my period at 10 and haven't grown in height since. Same as many other women I know. /shrug

I grew quite a bit after getting mine and I know others who did, so there you go. Anecdotal data all round!

cmtigger

oh_happy_day wrote: »

hekla90 wrote: »

oh_happy_day wrote: »

hekla90 wrote: »

Surprised no one has mentioned it but it doesnt matter if she over eats healthy food or junk food- she'll still gain weight. Since we don't know more details let's not forget that overeating can also be an eating disorder, by far more common than others. I don't think anyone would tell this mom to butt out if she had a child that was under eating or throwing up everything she ate. Not saying I have the answer as to what to do, but try to figure out why she snacks so much. I don't think it's inappropriate to get a handle on it while your daughter is "Chubby" (whatever that means) and before she is more overweight and obese. Also, women in general tend to stop growing in height after puberty and their period starts. Unless it's common in your family she's probably not going to shoot up 5 inches and magically lean out. She's probably just overweight at this point (due to overeating). Maybe get her started on a busy hobby like knitting or crocheting that she can do to keep her hands busy so she doesn't eat when she's bored.

The OP said that her daughter has only just started puberty, so she could be as young as 9. She's probably got a few more inches up her sleeve...

Started my period at 10 and haven't grown in height since. Same as many other women I know. /shrug

I grew quite a bit after getting mine and I know others who did, so there you go. Anecdotal data all round!

And my sister and I grew after we started, and we started on the late end of normal. My mom started early and didn't grow after. (She had been the tallest in her class before.)

tigerblue

At age 12-14 I became chunky after being a very skinny kid. My best friend was lumpy. Young adolescence was not kind to us! Both of us grew into slim, healthy older teenagers. I did become aware of how food contributed to my appearance at this point, but I had to make the decisions on my own!

My guess is that most of this will take care of itself. But it is good to be watchful for sure.

gabycakes0769

Monitor her if you must but don't make her weight the center of your attention. I say this as someone who had an eating disorder and still does I forced myself to not eat over 750 because my mom constantly pointed out I had gained a few pounds after that I developed binge eating and I still struggle with it to this day. With teens is usually a thin rope, just let her know and remind her constantly how beautiful she is. Good luck it sounds like you're on the right path.