Living in an Unsupportive Household

missfitmt

Hoping to get ideas of how people manage to still eat healthy while living with other people who are not on the same page. I can't really do food prep b/c my family will eat my food, even if I tell them not to. I also can't buy food and freeze it ahead of time (like chicken breasts) because my family will use it to make their own food. Suggestions? At this point, I'm thinking that I will have to buy groceries on a daily basis in order to live a healthy lifestyle...:explode:

RickyLuvsMary4ever

Yes that would burn me up!

I don't have that problem because I am the opposite of you, I live in a household of lazy folk who will be hungry until I come home and cook. They have all lost weight because I changed my eating habits.


You more than likely will have to food shop everyday if they cannot keep away from your food stores.

jesuison

Hmmm, that is a tough one. If you have your own room or a garage, maybe one of those little dorm refrigerators in your own private area would do the trick? That way they really are invading your space, and that is beyond not cool.

onwarddownward

I save an unappetizing wrapper, like for bean sprouts or something and hide my food in it. I also wrap things in grey walmart has and stick them in the deeper parts of the fridge or freezer. I hide protein bars in the spice cabinet.

It's war here.

missfitmt

LOL!!! That's awesome! I have to do the same here! It's awful!

endoftheside

I would try overwhelming them with the sheer quantity of healthy food available. If they like your healthy chicken breasts, make 10 of them for the freezer. It's kinda mean to make yummy healthy food and then not let them eat it. I am the main cook in this house so I feel like it's part of my job to keep the food stocked up. That being said, if I make 10 and 2 are for me and they know that and will not respect it, there will be a Serious.Discussion. Nobody in my family wants to go there... :devil:

ecdce

I would try overwhelming them with the sheer quantity of healthy food available. If they like your healthy chicken breasts, make 10 of them for the freezer. It's kinda mean to make yummy healthy food and then not let them eat it. I am the main cook in this house so I feel like it's part of my job to keep the food stocked up. That being said, if I make 10 and 2 are for me and they know that and will not respect it, there will be a Serious.Discussion. Nobody in my family wants to go there... :devil:

This. You mentioned they aren't on the same page, but will eat all of your food? Sounds like they can be inadvertently on the same page! I don't find it any more work to make a large pot of soup as opposed to a small one; I say just make enough for everyone to enjoy.

missfitmt

I would try overwhelming them with the sheer quantity of healthy food available. If they like your healthy chicken breasts, make 10 of them for the freezer. It's kinda mean to make yummy healthy food and then not let them eat it. I am the main cook in this house so I feel like it's part of my job to keep the food stocked up. That being said, if I make 10 and 2 are for me and they know that and will not respect it, there will be a Serious.Discussion. Nobody in my family wants to go there... :devil:

This. You mentioned they aren't on the same page, but will eat all of your food? Sounds like they can be inadvertently on the same page! I don't find it any more work to make a large pot of soup as opposed to a small one; I say just make enough for everyone to enjoy.

Touche. I guess my post was a little confusing. My family does have the potential to eat healthy(er), but then they'll do things like buy a 16-count box of Drumsticks (ice cream) from Costco. Or, if they eat my food in the freezer, they'll make it in an unhealthy way (like drowning my chicken breasts in fattening sauce).

But you guys are right. I need to stop complaining and be more proactive. Meal prep for 2 days worth of food, and only expect to get 1 day out of it (b/c the rest will be consumed by said family members). It sucks, but it's just how it's going to be while I'm living with other people. Boo.

jennibourne92

Buying healthy food is very expensive especially if you are eating organic, so I would be very upset if anyone was eating my chicken breast or fresh fish. Depending on if you work or not, I used to hide most of my good stuff at work. I do shop daily as well but not everyone has time for that. My family brings home chips and white carbs and it just kills me not to eat it but we fitnesspal peeps must all stick together and be strong. Soon we will look better than every single one of them and that's the best revenge.

HeidiCooksSupper

What about locking bags or boxes? Plastic tackle boxes with locks attached in some way?

MyJourney1960

Can you buy a dorm type fridge for your room? Or if you work - can you hide a few days worth of fly at work in a locked box?

I'm not sure i get the set-up in your home. Are you in charge of meals for everyone? If not, COULD you be, as in getting money to cover food expenses? That way, the food will be healthy. If not, invest in locked boxes or put a fridge in your room.

ladymiseryali

Start keeping track of the food you buy, as well as how much it costs and start typing up "bills" and hand it to them every
time they eat your food. If they're going to treat you like a restaurant, then start charging like you are!

ecdce

I would try overwhelming them with the sheer quantity of healthy food available. If they like your healthy chicken breasts, make 10 of them for the freezer. It's kinda mean to make yummy healthy food and then not let them eat it. I am the main cook in this house so I feel like it's part of my job to keep the food stocked up. That being said, if I make 10 and 2 are for me and they know that and will not respect it, there will be a Serious.Discussion. Nobody in my family wants to go there... :devil:

This. You mentioned they aren't on the same page, but will eat all of your food? Sounds like they can be inadvertently on the same page! I don't find it any more work to make a large pot of soup as opposed to a small one; I say just make enough for everyone to enjoy.

Touche. I guess my post was a little confusing. My family does have the potential to eat healthy(er), but then they'll do things like buy a 16-count box of Drumsticks (ice cream) from Costco. Or, if they eat my food in the freezer, they'll make it in an unhealthy way (like drowning my chicken breasts in fattening sauce).

But you guys are right. I need to stop complaining and be more proactive. Meal prep for 2 days worth of food, and only expect to get 1 day out of it (b/c the rest will be consumed by said family members). It sucks, but it's just how it's going to be while I'm living with other people. Boo.

I feel for you, man. I can't even buy drumsticks because I will consume them all. I don't even enjoy ice cream all that much really, but those things are like my crack.

But the rest of it gets better. My roommate frequently makes cookies or brownies, which would be fine, but she leaves them out on the counter. I used to completely blow everything whenever she made cookies, but now I can have one instead of five. Or even just a half. It gets easier to say no to going overboard, and we don't get to dictate what other adults eat.

Alatariel75

Is this family as in other half and kids, or as in parents and siblings?

Because if it is hubby and kids, you need to start laying down the smackdown.

If it is parents and siblings, and you are buying your own food and they eat it, you need to... well, start laying down the smackdown.

If you are buying food, with your money, for you, then it isn't cool that anyone is eating it. So my first point would be to call a family meeting and set out the ground rules. Pick yourself a shelf in the fridge, freezer and pantry, claim it as your own and raise hell if it is violated.

If your family is one of those who don't listen no matter what, then consider the above regarding a fridge of your own. But first step - stand your ground and let them know that helping themselves is NOT cool!!

missfitmt

Buying healthy food is very expensive especially if you are eating organic, so I would be very upset if anyone was eating my chicken breast or fresh fish. Depending on if you work or not, I used to hide most of my good stuff at work. I do shop daily as well but not everyone has time for that. My family brings home chips and white carbs and it just kills me not to eat it but we fitnesspal peeps must all stick together and be strong. Soon we will look better than every single one of them and that's the best revenge.

Exactly! Stuff like quinoa pasta or grass-fed beef is not cheap!

missfitmt

Is this family as in other half and kids, or as in parents and siblings?

Because if it is hubby and kids, you need to start laying down the smackdown.

If it is parents and siblings, and you are buying your own food and they eat it, you need to... well, start laying down the smackdown.

If you are buying food, with your money, for you, then it isn't cool that anyone is eating it. So my first point would be to call a family meeting and set out the ground rules. Pick yourself a shelf in the fridge, freezer and pantry, claim it as your own and raise hell if it is violated.

If your family is one of those who don't listen no matter what, then consider the above regarding a fridge of your own. But first step - stand your ground and let them know that helping themselves is NOT cool!!

It's parents and siblings. My father suggested that I keep whatever I want to hide in the BUTTER COMPARTMENT of the fridge. I laughed when he said that. I don't know what I can realistically keep on that tiny shelf.

Getting my own mini fridge is a great idea, but I'm not sure they will respect it. I'm gone a lot of the day (at work) and my room is pretty much fair game while I'm gone. A tackle box with a lock though...now there's an idea

missfitmt

I feel for you, man. I can't even buy drumsticks because I will consume them all. I don't even enjoy ice cream all that much really, but those things are like my crack.

But the rest of it gets better. My roommate frequently makes cookies or brownies, which would be fine, but she leaves them out on the counter. I used to completely blow everything whenever she made cookies, but now I can have one instead of five. Or even just a half. It gets easier to say no to going overboard, and we don't get to dictate what other adults eat.

I really like the saying that willpower is like a muscle - it gets stronger the more you use it. Living with family is definitely a test of my willpower on a daily basis. I'd have such a hard time saying no to cookies and brownies...unless they were protein cookies or brownies :laugh:

anemoneprose

buy veg for a couple of days, and 1 serving meat fresh on the day, if you can grab that on the way home. stir frys

mahanaibu

Hmmm, that is a tough one. If you have your own room or a garage, maybe one of those little dorm refrigerators in your own private area would do the trick? That way they really are invading your space, and that is beyond not cool.

This is a really good idea. so is having a drawer or hiding place for dry foods.

When I have food that I've made for myself or anything else i want people not to eat, I tape a little note on it saying "NO TOUCHING!" And it works. Maybe worth a try.

It sounds like if your family eats your stuff, they are willing to eat your way. They seem to want to just eat what's easily available.

Alatariel75

I must be a real cow in real life, because I can't imagine not kicking some severe *kitten* if I was in this situation. Why should you bend to accommodate them? It's your stuff you pay for with your money, right? How is it OK for them to *violate your personal space* and *steal your things* - because that's what this is, right? Even your room isn't safe when you're at work!?

Girl, you need to kick a whole bunch of *kitten*.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

grimendale

Do you have any unusual tastes? I personally like foods exceptionally spicy, so when one of my old roomates wouldn't stop eating my food, I left a couple favorites of his in the fridge drenched in ghost pepper sauce. I come home from work that night to see him sitting on the couch with a huge class of water and tears running down his face (I decided not to tell him that the water was just making things worse). After that, he didn't trust anything I left in the fridge and my food was safe.

herblackwings39

I wonder how they'd like it if they bought a whole box of drumsticks and they "disappeared" because you were hungry? If suddenly all the stuff they're buying ends up just disappearing I doubt they'd be very happy about it.

jennifershoo

Why are your family members eating your food if you tell them not to? That's just crazy!

missfitmt

I must be a real cow in real life, because I can't imagine not kicking some severe *kitten* if I was in this situation. Why should you bend to accommodate them? It's your stuff you pay for with your money, right? How is it OK for them to *violate your personal space* and *steal your things* - because that's what this is, right? Even your room isn't safe when you're at work!?

Girl, you need to kick a whole bunch of *kitten*.

This is exactly what got me riled up to begin with. It already sucks living at home with family again after living on my own for 10+ years. But I made this decision to live with them in order to save money to go back to school (amongst other factors that swayed my decision). As angry as I am, no good will come from me yelling at my family members. I just need to figure out a polite way to be more proactive about this.

jennifershoo

Is this family as in other half and kids, or as in parents and siblings?

Because if it is hubby and kids, you need to start laying down the smackdown.

If it is parents and siblings, and you are buying your own food and they eat it, you need to... well, start laying down the smackdown.

If you are buying food, with your money, for you, then it isn't cool that anyone is eating it. So my first point would be to call a family meeting and set out the ground rules. Pick yourself a shelf in the fridge, freezer and pantry, claim it as your own and raise hell if it is violated.

If your family is one of those who don't listen no matter what, then consider the above regarding a fridge of your own. But first step - stand your ground and let them know that helping themselves is NOT cool!!

It's parents and siblings. My father suggested that I keep whatever I want to hide in the BUTTER COMPARTMENT of the fridge. I laughed when he said that. I don't know what I can realistically keep on that tiny shelf.

Getting my own mini fridge is a great idea, but I'm not sure they will respect it. I'm gone a lot of the day (at work) and my room is pretty much fair game while I'm gone. A tackle box with a lock though...now there's an idea

I don't understand. Are they that much addicted to food that they would sneak in your mini fridge in your own room? Or they just disrespect you so much that they want o piss you off by eating your food? What's the deal?

missfitmt

I don't understand. Are they that much addicted to food that they would sneak in your mini fridge in your own room? Or they just disrespect you so much that they want o piss you off by eating your food? What's the deal?

It's more of what mahanaibu said earlier - they eat it b/c it's convenient and just needs to be heated up. At least that's how it is with my brother, who will hopefully be leaving for the navy soon lol

suziramsdell

It's tough. I don't have kids in the house (anymore) but I have a husband who eats anything and everything. For dinner I cook lean meats and fish, but he wants steak a lot, so I just don't eat it and fix something else. We are pretty much on the same page with salad and veggies. He doesn't eat breakfast or lunch, so I have no problem keeping what I need on hand. I don't have the problem of my husband wanting to eat my foods, just the problem of the temptation of his junk he buys. Maybe if you freeze things put them in a non-see through container and label them something like liver or whatever they won't eat. Maybe that would help. It seems really thoughtless of them to snatch up the foods you really need. Maybe there isn't a good selection of "their" foods in the fridge. Have a down to earth talk with them. Fine them. When my kids were home and I made things for guests I would put threat notes on things in the fridge. That worked.

NathanFronk

I disagree with your whole premise.

Families aren't perfect, but blood is thicker than frozen chicken breasts. If you communicate honestly with your family I have every confidence they would support you and leave your healthy food alone. If not, it speaks to some doubt they have about the sincerity of your journey.

It doesn't matter if you have started and stopped before. If you are sincere and determined this is not a problem with your family, it is a lack of courage in you to express your honest desires in a way that is hard but effective.

Family is not the enemy--or an excuse. Talk to them. Enlist them as vanguards to help you battle as you fight for a new you.

It is a battle. A fight. You need their help.

SteelySunshine

That isn't just being unsupportive it is theft. They aren't just stealing your food they are stealing your labor as well. You bought it (I am assuming they didn't give you some money towards your groceries), you shopped for it, and prepared it. F'em and move out. I bet they are invading other boundaries as well and creating a toxic environment in other ways. I hope you can find a roommate or roommates, they tend to be less greedy and less likely to steal than your family.

Or get a fridge and microwave for your room and a good deadbolt lock for the door. And a Rottweiler.

anemoneprose

I must be a real cow in real life, because I can't imagine not kicking some severe *kitten* if I was in this situation. Why should you bend to accommodate them? It's your stuff you pay for with your money, right? How is it OK for them to *violate your personal space* and *steal your things* - because that's what this is, right? Even your room isn't safe when you're at work!?

Girl, you need to kick a whole bunch of *kitten*.

This is exactly what got me riled up to begin with. It already sucks living at home with family again after living on my own for 10+ years. But I made this decision to live with them in order to save money to go back to school (amongst other factors that swayed my decision). As angry as I am, no good will come from me yelling at my family members. I just need to figure out a polite way to be more proactive about this.

Hey, that IS hard, all around (I know!).

What if you got them to pitch in for the meat? Unless, they see it as part of your contribution to the household? Maybe that could be clarified. Make everything explicit, like you would with regular roommates.