I want to quit so I fit in with my friends.

TinyRaccoon19

I find it hard to stick with a healthy lifestyle when ALL of my friends are 25kg or more heavier than I am. I need to lose 5kg to be at the upper limit of the healthy BMI range, so I wouldn't class myself as thin. If I indulge (which is often) I get comments like "How do you do it? I eat half what you do and look at me." If I make healthier choices I get comments like "You don't need to lose weight. I'd love to have a body like yours." Well I'd love to eat without my size being brought up. Sometimes I want to give up just to fit in.

Merkavar

Don't give in to peer pressure.

Sounds like your friends are either unsupportive, jealous or lazy.

Not supporting your healthy choices, jealous of your smaller body and too lazy to do what your doing so trying to make you stop so they don't feel bad.

Got to do what you need to do, maybe tell them how you feel or explain what you are doing. Maybe, like most people, they have no idea about weightloss and think your starving yourself etc.

Maybe they need encouragement, from you to get on board and get healthier together.

Packerjohn

Unfortunately some of your friends may die early due to weight related illnesses. You want to fit in there?

Sarah4fitness

Get new friends.

kshama2001

e_j_wilson wrote: »

I find it hard to stick with a healthy lifestyle when ALL of my friends are 25kg or more heavier than I am. I need to lose 5kg to be at the upper limit of the healthy BMI range, so I wouldn't class myself as thin. If I indulge (which is often) I get comments like "How do you do it? I eat half what you do and look at me." If I make healthier choices I get comments like "You don't need to lose weight. I'd love to have a body like yours." Well I'd love to eat without my size being brought up. Sometimes I want to give up just to fit in.

I'd take the emotion out of it and answer honestly about how you do it and that you have 5 kg to go to hit the upper limit of the healthy BMI range.

Barbs2222

What if you just said, "I don't know, I'm just not hungry." That's what I tell my husband.

Francl27

Meh don't take it personally. I get comments from people too like 'how do you stay so skinny' when I'm stuffing my face at parties. I find it hilarious. But I'm doing it for myself... I don't care what people think. Some days I feel like indulging, some days I don't, but it's my choice and nobody's business.

And I quite enjoy being the thinnest of everyone, to be honest, lol!

Azuriaz

Tell them it's medical advice and refuse to say more.
It is medical advice, after a fashion. Rightly or wrongly, doctors seem to rely on the BMI scale.

Lynzdee18

Do. Not. Give. In.

tomatoey

kshama2001 wrote: »

e_j_wilson wrote: »

I find it hard to stick with a healthy lifestyle when ALL of my friends are 25kg or more heavier than I am. I need to lose 5kg to be at the upper limit of the healthy BMI range, so I wouldn't class myself as thin. If I indulge (which is often) I get comments like "How do you do it? I eat half what you do and look at me." If I make healthier choices I get comments like "You don't need to lose weight. I'd love to have a body like yours." Well I'd love to eat without my size being brought up. Sometimes I want to give up just to fit in.

I'd take the emotion out of it and answer honestly about how you do it and that you have 5 kg to go to hit the upper limit of the healthy BMI range.

+1 and then change the subject. And don't initiate conversations about any part of this process with them - it sounds like they might interpret it as judgement of them, if they're making insecure comments like that.

Or could you even just say what you wrote above, "I'd love to eat without my size being brought up, can we talk about something else?" Ask them to not talk to you about *anyone's* weight or body or food.

WakkoW

Crabs in a bucket. Don't let them pull you back in.

jennifer_417

People legit don't seem to realize that, just because you're indulging atm, doesn't mean that you don't maintain a lifestyle of moderation. They may be eating half what you are at the that particular meal, but we don't see what they're doing at home, and I know from experience that it's really easy to put away a ton of calories and not even realize it. That's part of why logging is so effective.
The rest...pure jealousy/self pity on their part.

Adc7225

It gets better, eventually they lose interest in discussion that just like everything else that had it's time to be the center of attention. I went though that and when I was just about at the end of my rope I realized it had really lessoned up.

Unknown

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bmakkz

I experienced the same thing but with my family instead. It went from harmless comments to as bad as my mom stopping me from using smaller plates to eat. This behavior is plainly irrational, which I assume happened because, like you, I was breaking free from the comfort zone around me. And that made them uncomfortable.

Remember what made you start. What was there that you wanted to change? And remember that you are doing this to YOURSELF. You will have the biggest rewards!

Please don't give up what you have accomplished for the sake of others. It's not worth it.

MsJulesRenee

I have friends that talk trash when I'm fat- talk trash when I'm thin. I get the "Jules eats organic now", even though I don't! I politely explain that I only eat smaller portions and more fruits/veggies. I make better daily choices. I don't eat pizza every night, but I won't pass it up when I'm with my friends. They only see how you eat when you are with them, not at home and on a daily basis. I explain once or twice, if they don't get it by then I ignore the snarky remarks.

I get attitude from thicker girls in public when I'm thin, get the same from thin girls when I'm fat. I gave up!...I'd rather be healthy and happy then spend my life trying to make someone else comfortable with their body.

shadow2soul

"And why do you think it's appropriate to bring up someone's size when they are eating? Since you seem to like to do it to me, does that mean I can make the same comments to you?"
^ That would be my response to a friend.

With my aunt, who said made a comment on how much I was eating a few months ago I wasn't exactly nice. My response was "And do you really think you need to be eating that much?" However, in this case, she has been on my case about my weight loss since I was still classified as obese. She just can't seem to let it go and my irratation builds each time she brings it up. Her latest thing is that I must be anorexic. ~eyeroll~ Some people just don't know when to butt out.

RodaRose

Point out that they are rude *kitten* or change the topic

booksandchocolate12

OK, so you would rather be overweight and unhealthy than fit and healthy so you can fit in with your friends? That's your choice. If that's REALLY what you want, go for it.

But is that REALLY what you want?

jeepinshawn

e_j_wilson wrote: »

I find it hard to stick with a healthy lifestyle when ALL of my friends are 25kg or more heavier than I am. I need to lose 5kg to be at the upper limit of the healthy BMI range, so I wouldn't class myself as thin. If I indulge (which is often) I get comments like "How do you do it? I eat half what you do and look at me." If I make healthier choices I get comments like "You don't need to lose weight. I'd love to have a body like yours." Well I'd love to eat without my size being brought up. Sometimes I want to give up just to fit in.

I have grown to hate those comments. I have lost about 85lbs in 6 months, and now people seriously try and tell me Im to thin, like not even being complimentary, just rude about it. I tell them well according to the doctors I still have 20lbs to loose to be at a healthy weight. I want to tell them to STFU that it is my body and none of their business...

kk_inprogress

You need new friends. That's ridiculous. Be healthy for yourself, not them.

allenpriest

Get new friends. Seriously. Good friends don't act that way.

Sabine_Stroehm

Google "lemming".
/end thread

Ninkyou

So quit.

Either you want to lose weight or you don't.

IMO, who cares what other people think? If they're really your friends, they'll be happy for you and celebrate your successes. Otherwise, it's time to find some new friends.

BUT, if you're just going to quit based on what other people think, then you don't want it bad enough.

Lynzdee18

WakkoW wrote: »

Crabs in a bucket. Don't let them pull you back in.

Love that! I may use it myself!

kk_inprogress

Ninkyou wrote: »

So quit.

Either you want to lose weight or you don't.

IMO, who cares what other people think? If they're really your friends, they'll be happy for you and celebrate your successes. Otherwise, it's time to find some new friends.

BUT, if you're just going to quit based on what other people think, then you don't want it bad enough.

QFT.

Lounmoun

You could quit. You probably won't be happy with yourself or your friends. I recommend not using your friends as an excuse to quit making efforts to improve your health.

You could have an honest talk with your friends explaining what you are doing, why and ask for no comments on your body or food. If they are good friends they will want you to be healthy and happy and will respect your wishes.

You could get new friends who are fitter and more health minded. Let the unfit, negative friends fade away. Sometimes we take different paths and that is fine.

michelle7673

the things people say/and the things people do/are all about them/and not about you

tannibal_lecter

People are always going to comment on our bodies.

Your friends may think they are actually being good to you by doing this. The fact is that no one is a mind reader: you owe it to your friends to express your concerns so that they could have an opportunity to correct this and maybe you will show them a better way of looking at things.

Kalikel

There is no way anything anyone could say would stop me from doing what is healthy and good for me!

If the friends are jerks, drop them. Make some new friends.

Liftng4Lis

You need different friends.