Why is losing weight so effortless for some and so difficult for others?
kommodevaran
Posts: 17,890 Member
Is losing weight supposed to be hard? Every day I read on the forums about people struggling. My experience is that it takes some commitment, some planning, some reading up, but I don't feel deprived or restricted. Is my impression skewed by the fact that those who don't struggle, usually don't post? What makes losing and maintaing difficult, and what makes it easy? I find this intriguing. What is your opinion? (Am I just being cocky?)
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Your 1700 cal intake might be more than some can dream of.0
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Everyone is different and a lot of factors enter into success and/or failure in each of our lives. We can not judge others by our own success or failure as we never really know what goes on in anyone else's life that could contribute to their experience.
I personally do not think it is easy for anyone. It takes self control and discipline and some have more than others.0 -
What ⬆ said. I see a lot of people with calorie goals around 1200, and considering that's the minimum a person should be eating - and considering most people dropped to that goal from a place of overeating - it's no wonder it feels so hard. I used to do the real low calorie thing because I thought that was the right thing to do to lose and lose quickly. Now I know better, and it's not nearly as difficult.0
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kommodevaran wrote: »Is losing weight supposed to be hard? Every day I read on the forums about people struggling. My experience is that it takes some commitment, some planning, some reading up, but I don't feel deprived or restricted. Is my impression skewed by the fact that those who don't struggle, usually don't post? What makes losing and maintaing difficult, and what makes it easy? I find this intriguing. What is your opinion? (Am I just being cocky?)
When I'm mentally engaged in weight loss, I find this as well. But I feel like my "default" state is eating tons of food. Because of this, I work my butt off so that I am able to eat more (I lose eating 2100 calories a day).
However, I have issues with binging, then the emotional toll after a binge, and continued emotional eating. I can spiral our of control relatively quickly, so I tend to lose for a chunk, regain a little, maintain, lose again...
I think the concept is simple, but the mental aspect of weight loss (or weight gain for that matter) is the hard part.0 -
snowflake930 wrote: »Everyone is different and a lot of factors enter into success and/or failure in each of our lives. We can not judge others by our own success or failure as we never really know what goes on in anyone else's life that could contribute to their experience.
I personally do not think it is easy for anyone. It takes self control and discipline and some have more than others.
I don't see myself as disciplined and I don't think I have a lot of self control. So I struggle to understand.0 -
I have found losing weight easy. I don't have much to lose (my start weight is some people's goal weight) and from what i've seen, the less you have to lose, the harder it gets (due to shrinking deficit).
I find it comes down to mainly motivation and self control. No matter how much weight a person has to lose, they have to really want to lose it and have that control over saying no even when the double fudge ooey gooey rainbow sparkle cookies come out (well, that is if it doesn't fit into their day/week).
When I started, I knew this would be for life. I knew it would be something that would mean I would have to never eat the same way again (well, apart from holidays/vacations/special occasions). I am someone that cannot be motivated by others but have to be internally motivated - and I did just that.
The thing is, it IS hard to make sustainable, lifelong changes that suddenly fit into your pre-existing life. And not everyone can do it first go and find it a breeze. I think it comes down to personality, pre-existing habits and a bit of luck.0 -
Because life isn't fair.0
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I don't understand why some people seem to be unable to stay away from alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, or coffee. Everyone has different levels of drive and obsessions with different dopamine producing pleasures.
Some people can't start a day without a cup of coffee, and can't go all day without a bunch more. I have had coffee about 3 times this year and didn't enjoy it either time.
For some people, a day without an alcoholic drink is a ruined day. I'm in my late 30s and I can count the number of alcoholic drinks I've had in my life without going double digits.
Some days I'm able to stick under my calorie restriction with some good choices and exercise and not feel bad. However some days I hit my limit and then feel like if I can't eat any more today I'll go crazy.
If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Regardless of how small I am or how active i've been - I still want to eat just as much as someone who has a calorie budget twice as big as mine. I just know I can't without eventually gaining. Just because I maintain on X calories, doesn't mean I can eat what I want and be satisfied without moderation on X calories.0 -
Metabolism plays very little factor. +/- a few percent, which translates to maybe 100-200 calories per day difference, all things being equal.Fastbiceps wrote: »Not hard
calories in vs calories out, genetic and metabolism play a huge factor
Knew a guy that always stays at 12 percent bodyfat and wouldn't gain weight no matter how much he ate
Chances are this guy you knew only overate in social situations and ate sensibly most of the time, or he had a very active job or lifestyle that kept him trim despite his large food intake.
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kommodevaran wrote: »Is losing weight supposed to be hard? Every day I read on the forums about people struggling. My experience is that it takes some commitment, some planning, some reading up, but I don't feel deprived or restricted. Is my impression skewed by the fact that those who don't struggle, usually don't post? What makes losing and maintaing difficult, and what makes it easy? I find this intriguing. What is your opinion? (Am I just being cocky?)
When I'm mentally engaged in weight loss, I find this as well. But I feel like my "default" state is eating tons of food. Because of this, I work my butt off so that I am able to eat more (I lose eating 2100 calories a day).
However, I have issues with binging, then the emotional toll after a binge, and continued emotional eating. I can spiral our of control relatively quickly, so I tend to lose for a chunk, regain a little, maintain, lose again...
I think the concept is simple, but the mental aspect of weight loss (or weight gain for that matter) is the hard part.
I have to stay focused, but I enjoy meal planning and cooking now. I used to overeat (food) because I "didn't believe in portions" and had a skewed opinion on the meaning of "full". My new "normal" or "default" is now to eat until satisfied, and then wait until next meal to eat again. I believed I had emotional problems around food, but I think now that I just need great taste, and that junk tastes a lot, but never satisfies me. It's easier just to not buy and (try to) keep junk in the house, and I sure don't miss it, because the food I eat now satisfies my wants and my needs.
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People who are shorter and lighter have fewer calories to work with. If you are 5'3 and weigh 65kg unfortunately you need to cut calories pretty much down to 1200 calories to create a reasonable deficit and be super accurate with your logging.0
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[quote= (Am I just being cocky?)[/quote]
yes LOLdistinctlybeautiful wrote: »What ⬆ said. I see a lot of people with calorie goals around 1200, and considering that's the minimum a person should be eating - and considering most people dropped to that goal from a place of overeating - it's no wonder it feels so hard. I used to do the real low calorie thing because I thought that was the right thing to do to lose and lose quickly. Now I know better, and it's not nearly as difficult.
I think (at least for me) it is mentally tough. Do I have plenty of calories to get me through the day in a way where I am not deprived. YES! Would I be able to have more of a deficit if I worked out regularly. SURE. But the truth is I am a mother of 5-ranging from 16-2 months and sometimes my mental state isn't the best and more often than not I don't get to work out. THIS ISN'T AN EXCUSE though don't get me wrong, ( i know it sounds like one) but I know where my pitfall is and I am working on it. But everyone has there own issues. You may find that yours is maintaining, or gaining muscle at a certain point-or maybe you have none. In which case congrats and glad you are here for the support.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Regardless of how small I am or how active i've been - I still want to eat just as much as someone who has a calorie budget twice as big as mine. I just know I can't without eventually gaining. Just because I maintain on X calories, doesn't mean I can eat what I want and be satisfied without moderation on X calories.
Yes...this is true for me and I expect a lot of other short people.
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Sandra37405 wrote: »Because life isn't fair.TheopolisAmbroiseIII wrote: »If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?
People are all different. What is easy for you is difficult for someone else. It doesn't matter what the issue is. I don't understand why that is hard for you to understand OP.
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Because weight loss is mostly mental. Some people can easily get in the zone - want it more than the next food temptation. Some people don't want it that bad. It's like quitting smoking. If you really want to, you can. But it takes work.
When I'm mentally engaged and want to lose those last 5 pounds it's pretty easy. I buy the right things to eat, I prepare them, I don't eat out that often. My main goal is to lose weight. When I'm not mentally engaged, eating lots of yummy things and being lazy wins out.0 -
I have found losing weight easy. I don't have much to lose (my start weight is some people's goal weight) and from what i've seen, the less you have to lose, the harder it gets (due to shrinking deficit).
I find it comes down to mainly motivation and self control. No matter how much weight a person has to lose, they have to really want to lose it and have that control over saying no even when the double fudge ooey gooey rainbow sparkle cookies come out (well, that is if it doesn't fit into their day/week).
When I started, I knew this would be for life. I knew it would be something that would mean I would have to never eat the same way again (well, apart from holidays/vacations/special occasions). I am someone that cannot be motivated by others but have to be internally motivated - and I did just that.
The thing is, it IS hard to make sustainable, lifelong changes that suddenly fit into your pre-existing life. And not everyone can do it first go and find it a breeze. I think it comes down to personality, pre-existing habits and a bit of luck.
I've seen both - having much to lose is easier because your body burns more and you have more wiggle room; having less to lose is easier because your habits don't need to be changed so drastically.
I have found that maikng many tiny changes to my habits has been helpful. I still have no willpower.
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Last year, I found that eating in a deficit for a long time was fairly easy. I spent about 80% of the year in a deficit, sometimes months at a stretch.
This year, I have found it extremely difficult to eat at a deficit for more than 5-6 weeks at a time. I have more muscle, which I don't want to lose. I have more strength, which wanes after a certain amount of calorie cutting. I'm at the point where I literally only care about losing fat from one specific part of my body, which is frustrating as hell because spot reduction is impossible.
For me, losing weight is very hard right now. I just want to be done with it so I can focus on building muscle and getting stronger. This year has been really hard because I'm finding it difficult to see any differences in the mirror or on the scale. Other people see it on me but all I see is what's left to accomplish.0 -
Attitude plays a big part. Some people are ready to totally own their responsibility for weight loss or gain while others feel more comfortable in the victim zone, blaming their hormones, the state of the nation and their parents.
Weight loss is not easy for anyone. It is manageable with the right attitude, which maybe feels *easy*, but no one has a free pass while others get a raw deal. I can't count the number of times I have to point out to bigger people with more weight to lose that they get to eat MORE calories than smaller people with less to lose (science!) because they have this stubborn idea that there are miracle skinny people that gorge themselves all day and never gain.
If I sound bitter it is because I have always been accused of being that miracle skinny person, despite a lifetime of struggling to keep my weight in range (and doing some pretty stupid things along the way).
If you decide a handful of food is *normal* you will feel comfortable with your portion. If you decide the same handful of food is *deprivation* you will feel sorry for yourself and struggle more than you need to.
If you read through the forums here you see the trend clearly - Internal locus of control (Its all up to me) = success. External locus of control (It's everyone else fault but mine) = poor me, boo hoo, round and round forever.0 -
TheopolisAmbroiseIII wrote: »I don't understand why some people seem to be unable to stay away from alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, or coffee. Everyone has different levels of drive and obsessions with different dopamine producing pleasures.
Some people can't start a day without a cup of coffee, and can't go all day without a bunch more. I have had coffee about 3 times this year and didn't enjoy it either time.
For some people, a day without an alcoholic drink is a ruined day. I'm in my late 30s and I can count the number of alcoholic drinks I've had in my life without going double digits.
Some days I'm able to stick under my calorie restriction with some good choices and exercise and not feel bad. However some days I hit my limit and then feel like if I can't eat any more today I'll go crazy.
If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?
Haha, this is so me - I don't like alcohol and I stopped smoking in a few days when I ran out of cigarettes. Coffee is just a hot beverage for me. But chocolate. OMG. My pleasure centre lights up like a christmas tree.
Good question there! I ate all the wrong things in all the wrong amounts, I had no clue about portion control (how and why), I would prepare way too much food and eat as much as I physically could, to prevent waste, which I hate; eating sweets, chips, etc would make me go bananas (see above) and I couldn't stop; eating too much sweets made me dislike food, which made me slightly deficent; bad habits and nutrient deficiencies made me crave more sweets and dislike food even more; the food I did eat was slightly unbalanced - full circle.
Eating the right foods (for me) in the correct amounts (for me), and not buying trigger foods, lets me maintain my weight without the crazy cravings that made me eat unhealthy. So I think it's easy and not up to self control.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Regardless of how small I am or how active i've been - I still want to eat just as much as someone who has a calorie budget twice as big as mine. I just know I can't without eventually gaining. Just because I maintain on X calories, doesn't mean I can eat what I want and be satisfied without moderation on X calories.
This. We still have less to play with, even if we're very active. Doesn't mean we don't want to eat as much as other people.
The way you've spoken about this is rather judgmental. Also, it seems from your profile that you lost 15kg. This is not insignificant by any means but maybe consider the sustained effort required to lose for example, 30kg, 50kg, 100kg. You note that you think it just requires planning, some research - not everyone has those skills and needs to develop them over time.
It's wonderful that your journey has been so smooth, but you really need to find some empathy. I don't understand why you're having so much difficulty appreciating that other people have different lives and different internal experiences.
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kommodevaran wrote: »
Regardless of how small I am or how active i've been - I still want to eat just as much as someone who has a calorie budget twice as big as mine. I just know I can't without eventually gaining. Just because I maintain on X calories, doesn't mean I can eat what I want and be satisfied without moderation on X calories.
I used to think that way too and would eat like the biggest guy in the room. When I finally understood the point with portions, I understood that I don't need that much food, and I learnt to recognise the feeling of "fullness". That is not the same as "stuffed".0 -
People are very fond of the "It's simple - CICO" answer in regards to weight loss - and that's exactly how to do it - but there are many who struggle, and that's totally okay too. There is little room for sympathy on the message boards in regards to 'I'm finding this really hard' and it's a shame because everyone has a different story.
Case in point? My mum. She has been up and down weight-wise all her life. There was a time where she was at a very healthy weight and feeling fabulous - she knows all too well HOW this is done. Now? She is around 100 LBS overweight. She knows HOW to lose weight and many would question 'Well why hasn't she?'. Her mother recently passed away and her father is suffering from dementia - she is his full time carer and is slowly having to watch him fade away. She is a single mother to a 12 year old girl and she struggles to pay her rent. She also suffers from depression on top of everything else. So yes, it is simple - CICO, but my mum struggles to focus on weight loss for absolute obvious reasons. She just can't commit to any plan despite knowing how because she just has too much mentally going on in her life to spend her time calorie counting and meal prepping. And I would never, ever hold it against her.
Some people struggle with it - that's just the way it is. And I would never, ever judge someone for that. Others find it easier to mentally 'get in the zone' so to speak. We ALL need a little boost every now and again, that's a fact
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snowflake930 wrote: »Sandra37405 wrote: »Because life isn't fair.TheopolisAmbroiseIII wrote: »If losing weight and eating right is so easy for you, how did you get to the point of needing to lose weight in the first place?
People are all different. What is easy for you is difficult for someone else. It doesn't matter what the issue is. I don't understand why that is hard for you to understand OP.
It may be because I have Asperger's and thus a lack of empathy. I know I have trouble with imagination and seeing things from other people's views. I don't understand myself sometimes either. I struggle with other issues, but weight is so easy. I just want to grasp the "why".0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »
Regardless of how small I am or how active i've been - I still want to eat just as much as someone who has a calorie budget twice as big as mine. I just know I can't without eventually gaining. Just because I maintain on X calories, doesn't mean I can eat what I want and be satisfied without moderation on X calories.
I used to think that way too and would eat like the biggest guy in the room. When I finally understood the point with portions, I understood that I don't need that much food, and I learnt to recognise the feeling of "fullness". That is not the same as "stuffed".
Okay, so I understand the difference between fullness and stuffed. I always have. I've never thought that I could eat like the biggest guy in the room. However, I can still WANT to eat things that go beyond the portion sizes that I know are appropriate for me. Do you understand that food is about more than just nutrition and taste? That eating and drinking is also a strongly social activity and pleasurable. That you can want to eat more than your calorie allowance and appropriate macros/nutritional needs...because it might be yummy or fun.0 -
I've been maintaining my goal range for a few years now, I never found the losing process easy and maintenance isn't much better, it takes me having my eye on the ball most of the time but I'm willing to do what it takes to ensure the weight stays off. I think you have to want it badly enough to work for it.
I chose to lose my weight slowly and kept my deficit small. That way I never felt deprived or as if I was on a diet.
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Attitude plays a big part. Some people are ready to totally own their responsibility for weight loss or gain while others feel more comfortable in the victim zone, blaming their hormones, the state of the nation and their parents.
I have always been accused of being that miracle skinny person, despite a lifetime of struggling to keep my weight in range .
Agreed- and the same here. I'm not 'naturally thin'. I pass up all sorts of additional food to maintain my weight. Meh, it's JUST food!
I know that i am lucky in that:
- I'm not an emotional eater (emotional shopper- guilty!)
- I don't binge (I may overeat sometimes e.g. order a dessert, or eat an extra slice of pizza- but that's okay to me)
- I'm not interested in food- never have been. It's not my entertainment
- I rarley drink alcohol, I prefer diet soda (once or twice a year) and I don't drink lattes/ frappes etc.
- I am a great home cook and was rasied cooking low-cal healthy food (it's a bit too much low-fat but it was the 80's when I learnt to cook- therefore I hate the taste and feel of fat in my mouth and on my lips)
- I have a really tiny appetite- always have, and I eat extreamly slowly- always have. I'm fine with fairly low cals.
- I'm active (not so much recently though due to on-going ear infection)
- I don't like most 'addies' e.g. mayonaise, salad dressing, creamy sauces- though I love tomato ketchup (sugar)
- I eat 80% paleo by choice - pasta, rice, potatos, most bread- all taste gross to me and affect my IBS.
- My most favourite food is salad- always has been since I was a child.
- I don't like most take-ways (just pizza) and don't eat out for entertainment (it's boring!)- i like to dance instead.
BUT:
- I love sweet, carby things and eat too many of them (at the expense of protien and fat)
- I get ravenous at ovulation and PMS ( but during my period the cramps cause me to feel queesy and sick so i end up under-eating - so it balences itsellf out by the end of the month). My eating patterns have aleways been up and down- it's normal for me.
I've never been overweight- I've had periods on the upper end of the BMI due to being a lazy conveniance cook at times (university and recently a period of greif) but i was raised on CICO by my mother who was very keen for us to know about food and nutrition (70's/80's nutrition) and how to maintain our weight, whilst including little treats each day (a two finger kitkat or a couple of cookies or small packet of crisps/ chips, and a small slice of home-made cake on a Sunday).
Disclaimer I'm not here to lose weight now- just to log for nutritional info.
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