Body acceptance & body improvement

sheermomentum

I_Will_End_You wrote: »

Whitezombiegirl wrote: »

As if ‘average’ is the best that they should aspire to and should be satisfied with it. Why?

I don't understand this, either. If someone has the drive and discipline to be the best version of themselves (physically) they can possibly be, more power to them.

Yes, but, if YOU can do it, then others have to confront the fact that THEY could do it too, if they had the same drive and discipline. To be frank, the one who succeeds is making all the others look bad to themselves. Few people have the self-confidence to bear that with good grace.

Calliope610

I_Will_End_You wrote: »

Whitezombiegirl wrote: »

As if ‘average’ is the best that they should aspire to and should be satisfied with it. Why?

I don't understand this, either. If someone has the drive and discipline to be the best version of themselves (physically) they can possibly be, more power to them.

Do you ever hear "you have a bachelor's degree, why do you want to get your master's or PhD??" Do you ever hear "you have a good job, why are you looking for a better one?" Many people can understand wanting to better oneself economically or financially, but not so much on the health and fitness front.

Perhaps seeing others strive to better themselves makes one uncomfortable with their own complacency

jeffpettis

I guess I'm a little different in that, I don't care what anyone else thinks. The ONLY opinion I ever concern myself with is my wife's. Other than that what I do with my body, be it losing more fat or gaining more muscle, is none of any one elses business. Having said that if someone has an opinion such as "why are you still losing weight?" I am not rude and normally will say I have been the same weight for the last year or something along those lines just to be nice and change the subject, though sometimes I would like to tell folks to worry about their own body.

Most of the people that talk about body acceptance don't have what it takes to change themselves so it's just easier to accept it and expect others to do the same.

Kalikel

Calliope610 wrote: »

I_Will_End_You wrote: »

Whitezombiegirl wrote: »

As if ‘average’ is the best that they should aspire to and should be satisfied with it. Why?

I don't understand this, either. If someone has the drive and discipline to be the best version of themselves (physically) they can possibly be, more power to them.

Do you ever hear "you have a bachelor's degree, why do you want to get your master's or PhD??" Do you ever hear "you have a good job, why are you looking for a better one?" Many people can understand wanting to better oneself economically or financially, but not so much on the health and fitness front.

Perhaps seeing others strive to better themselves makes one uncomfortable with their own complacency

Yes, people say those things.

Anytime you receive or achieve (or even attempt) something others will not or cannot do or have, some will slam it. It's an old tale. Aesop wrote about it: Sour grapes.

I learned this in high school. Anyone who did well in school or even athletics would've learned this before reaching adulthood.

You never really know you're succeeding until someone slams you. Take it as a compliment. It's when people try to knock you down that you can be sure you've risen.

afatpersonwholikesfood

Two examples come to my mind. I know two people. Both are thin and have very normal BMIs - not overweight. No, not skewed by my fat person's perception. I know what they weigh and how tall they are. I'm very close to both of them.

No. 1 is someone who dislikes their body and has self-esteem issues. She's absolutely beautiful, but she wants to look like she did as a teenager - when her BMI was in the underweight category. She loses the same 10-20 pounds over and over again and has done so for years. She goes hungry a lot because she doesn't exercise and her calories come from foods that are not filling. I do not tell her she should just eat a piece of cake, but yeah, I think she is being ridiculous and unkind to herself.

No. 2 is someone with a healthy body image who watches her intake in order to maintain her weight. She is a runner. She runs miles and miles every week and does marathons constantly. She does not go hungry, but she most definitely moderates what is on her plate on a typical day. After a marathon, she wants a beer and a big cheeseburger. I do not tell her she should just eat a piece of cake, either, but I don't think she is ridiculous at all.

Do you see the difference? Which category do you belong in?

gothchiq

It bugs them because they feel like slobs by comparison, most of the time. Because some part of their brain feels like they *have* to compare. I tell them all "don't worry, I check everything with the doctor first." That usually shuts down the people banging on about whether I'm going overboard.

PeachyCarol

I think for every person who says something, there's likely a different reason.

I haven't heard anything negative, but that's likely because those close to me know I have health-related reasons for losing weight. Then again, I haven't dropped my last 28 pounds yet.

Ultimately, the only opinion that matters to me is mine. My goals are my own, and I'll achieve them for myself. What other people think of them is not my problem.

Redbeard333

gothchiq wrote: »

It bugs them because they feel like slobs by comparison, most of the time. Because some part of their brain feels like they *have* to compare.

Exactly!! People want others to stay the same so they can, too. When you start changing your body in a positive way, they start comparing themselves to you and want the same results. However, not everyone can/will invest in the effort, so they make themselves feel better by putting you down...

Achaila

Great post. I am a huge advocate for self love and acceptance and everyone around me knows it. So they have taken great pleasure in throwing it in my face that I have lost weight. Oh so you don't really love yourself. No. I do. I love myself at every weight. I was just tired of the back and knee pain and not being able to keep up with my toddlers. By their logic I had to accept all the pain I was in or else I didn't love myself..? Also, I'm 5'8" and 208 pounds and all bottom heavy. I had an aunt tell me that my chest is getting too boney (since my collar bones are now visible) and that I should stop losing weight before I "lose my womanly figure." I have a really, really long way to go. I'm still almost 50 pounds overweight. But when you're surrounded by women who are significantly sorter and the same amount, if not more, overweight..you look thin to them. And some of them are not nice about it. I have no intention of stopping just because of their negative comments. At this point it's just like you really should have learned by now that you're wasting your breath!

SCP0914

I'm so glad you posted this. I've finally gotten to my healthy weight range for my height (only I'm on the high end and I've got about 20 more pounds to lose until I'm at the ideal weight) but people keep telling me to stop there, no more weight loss. It's a little annoying. Since I unfortunately carry most of my fat on my stomach, it's obvious that I could stand to lose a little more weight. So it makes me wonder if they think I'm becoming a threat... Why else would you encourage someone to stop short when they're striving for more? I think sometimes it's better to say that I'm improving my health rather than losing weight. It's a little harder to argue that one shouldn't improve their health every chance they get.

krithsai

There's really no winning When I got married, I was the textbook definition of skinny-fat. Super thin but extremely unfit and then people went on and on about how I was looking stressed out and sickly. Fast forward to 5 years later when I had a 1 year old. The same people didn't forget to remind me about how "nice and thin" I was at my wedding and how I've become so fat! I started responding with "I'll be sure to grab my next baby from the freezer section and not bother getting pregnant!" - that officially made me the family *kitten*. Oh well!