WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2015

terri_mom

Happy Tuesday ! ! !

Mia – yay for your painless mammogram !

DJ – my house is an upper/lower duplex. Both floors have all of the rooms I listed. I was able to keep calm and talk to DH last night, and I mentioned how much bigger it will seem when DS is gone. He agreed to start putting $50 a week each into a joint savings account to be used for whatever decision we make when the time comes (this will start in January 2016 because that is when my car will be paid-off). He also agreed to start looking at apartment or condo options, especially if they are a little closer to his work (I drive 6 miles he drives about 25), and that we choose an almost-equally safe and quiet neighborhood. Mostly this means I need to start cleaning and downsizing (I am a terrible packrat, and not good at all about cleaning). No, I don’t suspect he will EVER be willing to do the “husbandly” things around the house. His Mom did it all his life, and he is in such terrible physical condition that he barely gets off the couch or chair once he is home from work. I will start teaching DS this weekend, and he is already aware of that. Most importantly, since DH is finally willing to discuss options, my stress level is MUCH lower.

Carol – I call it mental-pause for a reason. I have no control of the temperature of my body. I have little control over how much energy I am able to use to work off all the food that I often feel like I can’t control (but that is getting better thanks to all the wonderful ladies here). And I definitely have no control over DH and how he angers me (although Prozac is helping with that a little). Hugs for your symptoms ! ! !

Joyce – I understand your desire to be in on Charlie’s appointments. If I’m not around, I feel like no one asks the right questions, and I definitely don’t get sufficient answers. Being a caretaker is not a bad thing. Hugs !

Michele – St. Luke’s Hospital in Milwaukee does so many heart surgeries it is amazing. Apparently even on a 93 year old, replacing a pacemaker is outpatient surgery. She was scheduled for noon. By 4:00pm she was throwing up in recovery, by 5:01pm she was getting discharged, so I never even dropped in to visit. She is now back to her ALF, and having very little pain. Amazing ! ! !

Allison – isn’t the “almighty dollar” a bad thing for some people? Hugs for you and DFiL and his care arrangements.

Last evening was rough. I was really craving chocolate. Eating a pickle didn't help, and the tofu got moldy already, and the other container was still in the freezer (yes, bad planning on my part). So I added some Nesquik to my milk, and paced the house slowly until I was ready to sleep. Then every time I woke up I paced more, because I wanted more chocolate. I guess I should call it a NSV, because I never got into the car to drive somewhere to buy chocolate.

DH announced that his new diet includes an orange in the morning and an apple in the evening, then whatever he wants all day long (adding fruit is a babystep in the right direction). He also stated that he will no longer drink any pop, and not eat anything past 5:00pm. We'll see how long this lasts, but I will do my best to support his healthy babysteps.

Hugs for Everyone ! ! !

Terri in Milwaukee

cityjaneLondon

Hi everyone!

Just got my two gluten free cakes in the oven. I've made two to cover the birthday cake for the little ones who won't eat rich fruit cake, and one for the potluck on Friday. The gluten free bit is for one girl and so I don't have to make two different cakes.

Miriam - I hope these will be ok. They are whole orange, ground almond cakes, a bit like Jewish orange cakes, so not a lot of flour in them.

DH got a csll from his brother in Australia this morning and all is now calm on the family front. We haven't heard from the spoilt niece. I still have to sort out my delivery order, but I was at yoga this morning so haven't had a look to see if the site is sorted. No one got back to me.

Beth - it always breaks my heart when you write about your struggles. You have such a big burden to bear. I don't have any useful advice. :ohwell: I expect you have tried all avenues, but over here we have carer's associations where carers can get together and share experiences. They go on outings and holidays etc. Big hugs for you and the boys! :flowerforyou:

Love to all, Heather UK

PS - My cakes took much longer to cook than normal and haven't gone as brown, but they seem to be cooked. They have drizzly icing on them so should look alright.
DSIL rang just now to check what she should bring for the potluck. All is calm, thank goodness.

miriamwithcats

Heather, the cakes sound yummy!

I just got back from my doctor's office. I have an infection in my hand from a cat scratch at the shelter, so needed antibiotics. (I have a history of MRSA, so any infection is treated aggressively as if it is MRSA.) Anyway, I am DOWN 11 (eleven) pounds since last spring! Yippee! No wonder my pants were falling off!

pipcd34

yeayyyy for the weightloss miriamwithcats!!!! when my husband was sick, the docs advised that we re-home our cat cuz he was more prone to infection from a cat than a dog, due to their claws.

DamitJanit

Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .

Good Morning Ladies,

Joyce, what a sweet thing to say! You are now officially my new BFF.  I’ll feel skinny if I can ever get down to a size 12, which to many of you seems like a large size. But I’m not complaining because I feel amazing. My biggest complaint is actually this huge roll of skin hanging from my tummy. *whine, whine, whine* So sad for your DB’s children to be in such a situation. Hope the doctors’ appointments go well for both of you. And what is wrong with being a control freak?

Irish Terri, I love your SKI philosophy and think that is how I feel. DH and I have been good at saving and frugal spending all our lives so why not enjoy some of it now. We have been more than generous with our DD so I don’t feel any need to leave a bunch for her while I could be enjoying it. Gosh that sounds selfish!

MicheleNC, sorry to hear your sinuses are acting up already. I’ve been on my allergy drops for almost 4 months now and they seem a lot better except for itching eyes. I’m not sneezing like normal this time of year but oh do my eyes itch like crazy!! Thank goodness for antihistamine eye drops.

Karen, I see you lurking in the back row over there once in a while. We are going to have to push you out front more often cause it’s nice to hear from you. The NSVs are wonderful when they sneak up on us. And one of my biggest was being able to cut out some of the medicine I was taking. Your words are so true for me about being blessed and taking that for granted. It feels good to see results from the effort we put forth.

Shoileyr, welcome. This is a great place for support so come often. Please tell us a little more about yourself to help us get to know you. Also please sign each post with the name you want to be called and a location, be it general or specific.

Beth, I suffer from CRS so don’t know if I gave you this last night? ((((Hugs))))

Allison, what in the world time did you go to feed DFIL? You made it sound like it was before the chickens were up, but I’m sure it wasn’t. I hate they aren’t doing as good a job as they should. I know that has to be worrisome. Hope you have a good day.

Miriam, congrats on those baggy pants!! I know it is a double edged sword: Love losing weight and getting smaller but hate needing new clothes every few months. I’m wearing baggy jeans now too. At least they aren’t too tight, right?

Lenora, congrats on your loss. Isn’t it a great feeling to have to get a smaller size? I hate we don’t all live in the same area so we could share clothes. I have so many things that I only wore a few times before they became too big. Keep up the good work.

Lillian, that is wonderful that you are getting things on your list done. Be sure to take some of your “vacation” time to just enjoy yourself and have some fun! You deserve it.

Lisa, it sounds like this restaurant was a little too far gone to be saved if the owners weren’t going to personally be there to do part of the work or you take over the day to day management. It sounds like you did a wonderful job but there again, only so much one person can do. I know you will be glad to say good bye and get back to your life. It has to be exciting to get started on the warehouse. Have fun with it.

Terri, if you and DH decide to move to a new place then will your Dad sell the house and find a new place to live? How long until DS graduates? I can’t remember. Yeppers, if you end up moving, you’ll have lots to sort through and get rid of. Just remember the 15 minutes at a time method. It works great. Did your DH come up with this new diet on his own or is he working with someone? I wish him luck. Good for you in not driving out in the middle of the night on a chocolate run!!!

Heather, so glad things have calmed down with the niece situation. I’m sure your cakes will be wonderful. Is the big event this weekend?

to any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.

Last night I made a recipe I got from Skinny Taste that was for zucchini tots. They are baked in the oven and not fried. I think it could be an appetizer but I used it as a side dish. It was yummy and DH really liked it too. It was just a nice different way to serve zucchini.

I hope all of you have a healthy and happy day.

Words I live by:
Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
and
Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
I Love you,
DJ
Myrtle Beach, SC

janetr7476

Pip - love the wet fur babies. Oh and regarding size smalls, I'm pretty sure my bones are bigger than a small lol. You rock, girl.

DJ - the bruising on the leg is much better. The bruise on my thigh is almost gone, below my knee is still bruised but much better. The incision is kInd of gross looking, but healing well. I was pretty miserable last night. I think the PT went a bit overboard with 100 squats. Probably won't be doing that again any time soon. Lol. For now I just plan to continue with stretching and strength exercising, adding a little more each day.

Terri - Good for you, girl. Definitely a win for you. Good job.

Janetr OKC

exermom

Did an hour of a 30 Minute Cardio Machine Melter workout. I just did it twice. The plan for tomorrow is to do a DVD by Cindy Witmarsh called Ultra Fat Burn. We have a general meeting for the Newcomers so I'm not sure how this is going to workout, but we shall give it a try!

Karen from NY - I like your attitude. It IS about feeling healthy

Welcome everyone new

Miriam - wooHoo -- new leggins. Maybe going to the Goodwill or
Salvation Army, you can get pants there. There they are usually much cheaper

Lenora - that is so sad about the daughter. Congrats on your NSV's

Here are pics of my duck. It shivered. Sylvia - why does this happen? But I painted over that part with acrylics, then they sprayed it, then when I got it home I sprayed it with this protectant so, hopefully, as long as it's in a shady area, it won't start to crack like the ladybug did. Time will tell.

DJ - my sinuses always act up around now and in May when there is a change in the barometric pressure. I can almost count on it. Good thing I stocked up on Sudafed!


Michele in NC

miakoda40

I am slowly moving out of the doldrums.

One thing that has helped when I start heading into depression is to “act as if.” Depending on how bad the depression is it can be on a scale of “act as if things are OK (or neutral)” to “act as if I am happy.” There are moments when Happy is too big of an acting stretch. I don’t put on an act for family and good friends. Those folks deserve the truth. “Act as if” is reserved for my public face, for people who don’t really need or want to know the reality of my day. Yesterday morning I was in “act as if I am happy” mode greeting people with a big smile and answering questions in a chipper voice. About half way through the day I realized it was no longer an act. I was smiling because I felt like smiling and that was the magic of “act as if” working for me.

Another thing that is helping me is taking a few minutes at the end of the day to list three things for which I am grateful. Taking the time to really focus on what is right in my world helps stop those negative hamster wheel spinning thoughts for a brief time. The more often I get those thoughts to stop spinning the longer it take them to start up again. When those negative thoughts stop whirling around like crazy I can actually catch one and deal with it before reaching for another one.

Having a mammogram that didn’t hurt really helped push me closer to the “this weight loss journey is worth the effort” side of life. I cannot express just how much I was dreading the “boob squishing” and the pain that has always come with the process. To have it be an effortless procedure was pure bliss. Perhaps it was a change in machines, but perhaps it was the weight loss. Keeping the weight off is something I have control over for the next time I need a mammogram.

Huh! I just spent several minutes thinking about the statement “Keeping the weight off is something I have control over.” I have always thought about my weight as being something apart from me. A thing that my actions (eating and exercising) might affect but which I have no control over. I cannot say I will eat this specific food in this specific quantity and do this exercise for this period of time and I will absolutely lose a specified amount of weight in X number of days. It just doesn’t work that way. At the same time if I track the kinds and quantities of food and the type and duration of exercise over a period of time I can observe if I gained, lost or maintained weight. I can then tweak those combinations of things so that I get a steady loss and eventually so that I can maintain a certain weight.

Some things like losing 40 pounds in 2 weeks are just impossible (or are completely not healthy). Other things like losing 40 pounds in 80 weeks are possible and healthy, but not guaranteed. My thought process surrounding the idea of “control” is not fully defined yet. However, I think I need to come up with a different word or definition of control when it comes to weight loss. I like being in control in my life and while I can control my food intake and my calories expended in exercise, I need to accept that the weight itself will come off at a pace that I cannot control. I am “in control” of the weight continuing to come off. I am not “in control” of how fast that happens.

I think some of my unhappiness lately is that I have been discouraged with the fact that my weight loss has slowed down. I am not losing as rapidly as I once was. I keep thinking if I change this or that I will lost fast again and it just isn’t happening. I need to work on my thinking. I need to become OK with losing more slowly.

Mia in MI

October goals:
Continue to honestly log food every day
Weigh and measure all food that I prepare at home
Get at least 15 min per day of aerobic exercise
64 oz. water (or what counts as water for my program) daily

Word for the month - PERSEVERE

CynthiaT60

Alison: beautiful pictures! I sure hope you had a good time. Glad you slept so well; you need it. Sorry the next night wasn’t so good.

Pip: like the picture of Lenny. ((hug)) And the one of your new home. And you telling about your new routine. You sound so positive.

Sylvia: I love sparkly things too. Girls will be girls, even if they’re over 50! LOVE the cat joke, too! So true.

Michele: sorry you missed seeing Jess off. Love your duck! Really well done.

Terri: glad you are feeling a bit better. A few nights’ sleep and some friends can change a lot.

DJ: go for that top! Wish I got that kind of remark.

Janetr: wow!!!! Congrats! How is the leg feeling? And thanks for the comment about getting in good shape before the surgery. I’ve got the muscle strength just fine...it’s the weight that’s the problem.

Beth: agree with your question to Barbie. Looking forward to more thoughts about this! Irish Terri: changing your thoughts sounds so easy...I don’t find it easy at all.

Jane: hugs back

Katla: hugs to you, too.

Joyce: how did the doctors’ visits go?

On menopause: let’s just say it whacked me hard with a big shovel. Not so much during, but after. I don’t have much good to say about it.

Kind of a blue day here. Bad start at work with a couple of complaints about mistakes I had made. I tend to take things like that hard. I visited a new dietician on the advice of my GP. Didn’t expect too much of it, but I liked her (that’s a big Step One) and she didn’t suggest anything I don’t think I can do. We will see.

Hope we all have a good day.

Cynthia <waving>

hopeblossom454

You guys are so awesome! It is very uplifting to read all the sharing, and encouragement! Lots of good advice and tips that I need to "digest".
Learning how to use this site - the community part is a bit overwhelming. I just used the calorie counting on the app and so I'm not sure what to do with friend requests, or how I feel about people seeing my weight etc. It takes some getting use to.
Yesterday I did manage to come under my calorie goal and it was good to see my weight go down after a weekend of indulging. Originally I put my goal as to lose one pound a week and MFP set my calories at 1200. If my goal is .5 lb a week, the calories are 1360 which seems a little more doable. I am trying to get in more walks which will help get my steps up and also help with weight loss if I don't eat those exercise calories.
I agree on the advice that the most important thing is to document all the calories I am taking in - do it for myself. It is data that I need to make better decisions.

Thank you everyone! Hope everyone has a great day!

Goals:
Get in 6,000 steps or more.
Log in my food

KJ or Hopeblossom from southern Colorado

pipcd34

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relater2000

Katla49 wrote: »

Heather: I hope your adventure in gluten free cooking turned out to be interesting and enjoyable. We went gluten free for a while, thinking it would help DH's MS symptoms. We found that it had no impact and went back to regular cooking. The calories were higher in gluten free baking than my regular recipes. I wonder whether others have had a similar experience. I'll be interested to know what you think. :flowerforyou:

Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

On the topic of going gluten free: I have 2 daughters and 1 son (all grown) who have Celiac disease and have to be gluten free. We have been working with this now for 10-11 years. While it's true that GF baking can be higher in calories, my daughters, at least, have gone the route of not doing much with pasta or baking (they do still do some), but rather focus on fruits, veggies and meats for their families. Esther, the oldest, has 4 children and is pregnant. She also cooks exclusively GF to avoid accidental cross-contamination. They also cook a lot from scratch, as ready made GF food tend to be pricy.

Elaine in Lansing

miriamwithcats

Michelle, it is probably temperature changes that are causing the cracking. A lot of things I have put out for yard art have done that. Some don't, so there must be a type of paint or something that can prevent it. I don't know what it is, though.

Mia, you are so smart! Acting "as if" is how I have gotten through life with a severe and persistent mental illness. There were so many days when I could barely drag myself out of bed, but would act as if I were doing fine and many days I actually felt better after being around other people and getting something accomplished. I would have to laugh when I took standard "depression inventories" that would score how severe your depression was. While I was working 60 hour week days, traveling all over the state giving presentations, planning a conference for over 200 people, on two different boards, and raising three sons I would score so depressed that I needed to be hospitalized according to them. There are lots of tricks to coping. That is why peer support is such a valuable service- peers (people who have gone through the same thing) often know lots of tricks to share. I do have a good book, "How to Get Things Done When You're Depressed" that shows a lot of the mental and behavioral tricks. It might help you too.

Another thing I do is that I have a Wellness Plan. When I was doing well, I made a list of all the things I need to do every day to stay well. Things like take my meds, limit caffeine and sugar, no alcohol, exercise, get natural sunlight or full spectrum light (fall is when this is really needed), get out of the house around people every day (I isolate badly), etc. I use it like a checklist when things are really bad. The first thing on it is "get out of bed without arguing with myself about it" and some of my worst days that was all I managed. But it does help pull oneself out of a funk. There is more you can do on a wellness plan, but the daily maintenance list is the most important.

fanncy0626

Mary from Minnesota

miriamwithcats

Elaine, I have no wheat flour in my house, but I do allow the girls bread, breaded items that are frozen and microwavable, and cookies. They stay in a special lower cabinet and go straight to the table, not used on the counters. And I am meticulous about wiping crumbs up. I often won't eat with the girls since once the younger one dumped crumbs all over my plate by accident. I don't eat out anymore- got glutened too many times. When it was just me here, I had a gluten free kitchen.

cory17

for you drkatiebug
rosie - please send fairy tale hour over my way every weekend, actually everyday would be even better.
hopeblossom - take a look at some of the food diaries that are open, some people are eating very well at 1200 cal. it can be done but you need to get a good idea of calorie content of your food choices and/or modify portion sizes. Up the vegetables/fiber and protein to fill you up. Replace a meal with blender drinks so you have some calories left for eating with family.
Gayle - I hope you are making plans to attend that reunion. It doesn't matter how you look, time has affected all the others as well. Go and have fun!
miakoda - as an emotional eater, sometimes it's as if my mind turns off during a binge. Also (due to upbringing find it difficult to throw out food) find it easier to stop by telling myself "I am not a garbage disposal" over and over. We need to pay attention to the messages in our brains and what is reinforced.
All this talk about stress. Let yourself be an island of calm and peace. My DD is practically frothing when her husband is mentioned (not by me anymore, nothing I can change w/them). My dH also chooses to rant on and on literally about everything in our life. It is so tiring and depressing to think about and listen to. I have to choose to be happy and enjoy today.
Thank you to those (way back) who gave me words of encouragement re the colonoscopy. It is over and that is a great relief! I will be going again in 5 yrs without any preliminary worries keeping me awake. Anyone who hasn't, go get it done.
Don't mean to lecture anyone, love to share your lives.

Linda in Calif

GloworminWA

margaretturk

MNMargaret

pipcd34

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terri_mom

DJ – My dad has every intention of selling the house in summer/fall of 2018 when my DS graduates. My stress/upset comes partially from the fact that I have been making ½ the mortgage payment since day #1, and I get the impression that he considers all the money to just have been rent, not any collateral or anything. He would like for DH and I to buy it from him and let him keep living there and that he would pay us rent instead of the other way around. // DH got a call from his PA last week saying she is very worried about his weight, and wants him to come in for a physical. He decided on his own to cut out pop and add an orange and apple to his intake, and to stop eating after 5:00pm (this is the one I feel will fail at this time, but I’ll still be supportive). I warned him that the PA will want him to see a nutritionist or dietician, and start on some kind of exercise program. Although he refuses to track his steps, he claims that he walks up and down at least 20 flights of steps per day, and walks no less than 10 miles a day while at work. He currently weighs 380 and is 5’10” tall. In his defense, he does a lot of lifting and carrying of heavy things at work (air conditioners, etc), so he is strong. I’m looking forward to having fewer bags of chips and such in the house, for less temptation.

Mia – that was VERY philosophical (and made sense). “Slow and Steady Wins the Race” Thanks !

Thanks, everyone, for the support regarding the chocolate. It makes me smile and want to try harder and harder.

Hugs for Everyone ! ! !

Terri in Milwaukee