I am at a stand still!!!!

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Replies

  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
    edited October 2015
    acnbds88 wrote: »
    vickyb5277 wrote: »
    Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.

    I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL

    Why would we tell her things that wouldn't help her and that may not actually apply? The point of our posts (and what we pointed out to the other poster) is that the info provided in the OP was not enough to make any substantive recommendations.
  • KevinMcCluskey
    KevinMcCluskey Posts: 1 Member
    You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    acnbds88 wrote: »
    vickyb5277 wrote: »
    Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.

    I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL

    @acnbds88 and @vickyb5277 If you guys have actual advice on this, I'm all ears: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10266543/how-can-we-give-more-effective-advice-on-the-forums
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    KevinMcCluskey wrote: »
    You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!
    No, that's not it. At all.

  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    KevinMcCluskey wrote: »
    You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!

    Actually, to be fair, all of this is based on myths that have been debunked by research. "Set point" is usually just normal fluctuation combined with some inaccuracy on logging or tracking that makes it seem like a plateau. "Natural defense against starving" doesn't kick in at this level -- it's really only a factor at much, much lower calorie levels.

    The best post for advice that I can suggest is this one:
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1


    As for the other debate, let's all take a deep breath and stop finger-pointing. Yes, "tough love" and factual information can be really useful, especially for lurkers. And yes, for newbies, it can sometimes be jarring or off-putting to get very direct, clipped advice, especially when they're just figuring stuff out. Just because we've seen the same question a thousand times before doesn't mean that they know that. So let's all just try to assume everyone has good intentions and move on from there, mmmkay?

    :)
  • tincanonastring
    tincanonastring Posts: 3,944 Member
    KevinMcCluskey wrote: »
    You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!

    I'm pretty sure set point theory has been widely debunked. TDEE changes as your body mass decreases, but I don't think a 5 pound loss, as described in OPs follow-up post, would be enough to cause a significant change.
  • MarcyKirkton
    MarcyKirkton Posts: 507 Member
    B)
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    segacs wrote: »
    As for the other debate, let's all take a deep breath and stop finger-pointing. Yes, "tough love" and factual information can be really useful, especially for lurkers. And yes, for newbies, it can sometimes be jarring or off-putting to get very direct, clipped advice, especially when they're just figuring stuff out. Just because we've seen the same question a thousand times before doesn't mean that they know that. So let's all just try to assume everyone has good intentions and move on from there, mmmkay?

    :)
    Maybe save that speech for your kids. No smiley.

  • starwhisperer6
    starwhisperer6 Posts: 402 Member
    I can easy see both sides of this particular thing. Those of you who have been using the site for ages have answered the same questions over and over to new people. you are anxious to share your knowledge and it does often come across as abrupt and condescending. I doubt it usually is meant to be that way. It is great that you have all gleaned so much knowledge from your time on here and that you can be such a help to new people who are unsure and worried. We should toughen up our skin when we ask for advice and it is possible that those of you who do know so much could remember that you might have once been pretty confused and scared too.
  • blessingsfromabove721
    blessingsfromabove721 Posts: 161 Member
    starwhisperer6 wrote: »
    I can easy see both sides of this particular thing. Those of you who have been using the site for ages have answered the same questions over and over to new people. you are anxious to share your knowledge and it does often come across as abrupt and condescending. I doubt it usually is meant to be that way. It is great that you have all gleaned so much knowledge from your time on here and that you can be such a help to new people who are unsure and worried. We should toughen up our skin when we ask for advice and it is possible that those of you who do know so much could remember that you might have once been pretty confused and scared too.

    Cosigned.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    @starwhisperer6 and @blessingsfromabove721 Could you guys bring your concerns to the thread I liked above so that we, maybe, derail this thread a little less and can maybe make some constructive strides towards giving better advice? I'm always trying to figure out how to make my posts better for new users here.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10266543/how-can-we-give-more-effective-advice-on-the-forums#latest
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    acnbds88 wrote: »
    vickyb5277 wrote: »
    Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.

    I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL

    So your recommendation, rather than asking simple, straight, to the point questions to obtain more factual information from this poster, is to just start making recommendations with no background? Why would she need to change up her diet? Why would she need to restrict sugars? She may need to do both of those things, which is what opening her diary would demonstrate - but to just come in and start offering advice without more information, I don't see how that is meant to be supportive.

    I would far rather get logical, fact based answers from people who have done their due diligence and asked appropriate questions about my situation than a bunch of mollycoddling and 'poor you, we've all been there, why don't you try XYZ' without knowing at all if XYZ will be relevant for me.





  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    acnbds88 wrote: »
    vickyb5277 wrote: »
    Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.

    To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...

    So your solution to the issue is for people to lie to the OP? It doesn't matter if her calories come from sugar, "changing it up" doesn't actually DO anything. I see these types of responses on other weight loss communities. And they're the reason so many people keep spinning their wheels and getting nowhere. It's ridiculous that people here are constantly berated for giving out factual information instead of being warm and fuzzy. This forum has provided, by far, the most useful weight loss advice I have ever received.

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