Does Lifting As A Couple Work?

crpoll5

My wife and I have been active gym goers for some time now and we have decided to step off the treadmills and start lifting weights. For some reason all the people we look at and want bodies like are over lifting weights and not running there bums off. We need some advice. Is it best to lift as partners or do our own thing? We have watched both. Please advise us what you think is best and why? Also since we are new to lifting, what are the best programs? We are looking for someone on MFP to help coach us through this process so feel free to add me if you are interested in mentoring us.

jemhh

My husband and I tried lifting together one time and it was a bust. My working set weights were more like his warm ups. That was a big problem. BUT! If you are doing a program like SL5x5, which I believe (double check this obviously) has everybody start at the same weight that won't be a problem. If that is the case, it could be a time saver since you'd be able to switch off on the same equipment rather than wait for two sets of equipment to free up.

ShellyBell999

This made me chuckle remembering the time my man and I tried to lift together. I had been lifting for a couple of years and he hadn't lifted since HS.
We only tried it once. I still lift, he still does not.
That being said, I think if you start out together then it's completely doable.
Have fun! :

VegasFit

I have lifted with my boyfriend occasionally usually when I am getting a new program from him. I usually lift on my own but that also has to do with our schedules. When we lift together we are doing the same exercises and I lift, he rest unless we're super setting. Changing the weight takes no time at all since I am no where near lifting what he can. It's good couple time for us and I like it.

JoRocka

I'm a firm NO in the lifting together.

I don't care for it at all. I want to lift on my own- it's just usually not a wise option. I say- GO together to the gym- then do your own thing.

armylife

You are treading in dangerous water my friend. I lifted for 15 years before my wife decided to try it with me. She was new, and I became "coach". Mistake number one. No one wants the persons they care about being critical of them in that setting. My jobs allows me to call things like I see them. I found out communicating with my wife takes a little more finesse. So a net plus.

Mistake number two: I assumed that she would have similar goals to me, get stronger, be lean, run fast. (You know the perfect athlete.). She could have cared less about getting stronger and she is not a speed runner and does not want to be one. She only wanted to be healthy her goals were very different from mine. That is really what you need to decide. What do you both want? If it is the same thing you guys could lift together and have a good time. My wife still spots me at the home gym and comes to my competitions, but our joint venture didn't last.

We both learned a lot and she still uses some of the HIIT style cardio we did together. But never again will we try that.

crpoll5

Sorry dear....you are on your own because my MFP friends said run as far away as you can when it comes to lifting together. If only I can convince her of that same thing when it comes to shopping. Thanks for all your advice. PLAY BALL !!

LeanButNotMean44

This is an interesting thread. My experience has been the opposite of the others. I started hitting the weights when my guy and I first started dating 6+ years ago. I had previously tried lifting on my own but never stuck with it. Maybe it was the whole honeymoon phase "magic" at first, but I have stuck with it this time. We don't work out together every day (max 1-2x/week), but when we do we push each other; it works well for us. He is very encouraging and pushes me to lift heavier than I would if I were alone.

tulips_and_tea

crpoll5 wrote: »

Sorry dear....you are on your own because my MFP friends said run as far away as you can when it comes to lifting together. If only I can convince her of that same thing when it comes to shopping. Thanks for all your advice. PLAY BALL !!

Haha! Funny. I think it depends on the couple. Personally, I don't like working out with anyone, but that doesn't mean lifting together can't work. Give it a try if you want. Either way, you're right that to really make progress you have to leave the treadmills behind and get over to the weights. Cardio is just a bonus for heart health and burning extra calories.

piperdown44

My wife and I will go to the gym together but we don't work out together. She has different goals than I do and a couple of times I did help her out but she is more interested in the machines than free weights.
Of course, that being said, I don't like lifting with anyone so that plays into it too.

VegasFit

LeanButNotMean44 wrote: »

This is an interesting thread. My experience has been the opposite of the others. I started hitting the weights when my guy and I first started dating 6+ years ago. I had previously tried lifting on my own but never stuck with it. Maybe it was the whole honeymoon phase "magic" at first, but I have stuck with it this time. We don't work out together every day (max 1-2x/week), but when we do we push each other; it works well for us. He is very encouraging and pushes me to lift heavier than I would if I were alone.

So far it seemed like I was the only one pro lifting together. I actually met my BF at the gym. But as others has said if goals are different it could be a problem.

KimmyKicksAss

^^ I agree with "Lean..." I enjoy lifting with my man. We started Stronglift 5x5, which I found BTW. Before that, he was lifting without a program, just doing whatever strikes his fancy. I didn't dig that so I found a program that is structured and can see my progress in strength. Of course, he wanted to do it too. Now I spot him when he bench presses and he has overtaken me in deadlifts but I can keep with with squats.

I say you try it first as a couple, especially when building the foundation in the weight room. See where it takes you. We encourage each other and sometimes its fun to taunt each to push to get to the next level. There are days where our schedules clash but that's ok. It sometimes happens but keep going. Good luck

Sam_I_Am77

crpoll5 wrote: »

My wife and I have been active gym goers for some time now and we have decided to step off the treadmills and start lifting weights. For some reason all the people we look at and want bodies like are over lifting weights and not running there bums off. We need some advice. Is it best to lift as partners or do our own thing? We have watched both. Please advise us what you think is best and why? Also since we are new to lifting, what are the best programs? We are looking for someone on MFP to help coach us through this process so feel free to add me if you are interested in mentoring us.

I think it really depends on the dynamic of your relationship. Can you two agree on a well-structured program to follow and encourage each other without getting pissed at each other? That's really not a question we can answer for you. I know my parents use to try and golf together and it was always just bickering back and forth about shot setup and stuff, so it wouldn't work for them. Whatever it is, follow a good program that somebody intelligent created; don't be the guy that tries to walk around the weight room like they know everything because their wife is with them and look stupid.

rybo

Since my gf is a trainer also, it's really nice having someone point out when I'm lax in my form. We typically don't get to workout together too much, but it's been fun when we have.

crpoll5

Thanks for the input. We are heading to the gym in about an hour. I will keep you all posted.

cwolfman13

I don't think there's a "right" answer here...it's just going to depend...on a lot of things. One thing to consider is having to add and remove plates between sets...this becomes increasingly more "interesting" if you're doing a program like 5/3/1 or any kind of program that utilizes undulating periodization. My wife and I did Starting Strength together for a time and it wasn't really an issue...but when we started 5/3/1, there was a lot of plate changing going on and it was taking a lot of time.

No and understand your goals. My wife and I lifted together for a time, and it was fine...but she quickly started having issues with recovery and namely recovery and still being able to train for her runs. I wasn't doing much at that time besides hitting the weight room and doing some walking so no biggie for me doing a traditional strength program...but it was murder on her runs. She ultimately moved on to a program that catered more towards general fitness and athleticism vs pure strength...I did likewise down the road when I got into cycling. I only do "heavy" cycles now in the winter when I'm not on my bike as much. I also became very interested in the Olympic lifts being the foundation of my programming...not so much for my wife.

Another issue that we had from time to time was that she sometimes took my "coaching" as criticism rather than just me helping her out with her form or whatever. I think that is often a problem for many, particularly one one is more experienced than the other in the weight room.

In the long run, it really didn't work for my wife and I and we're much better off doing our own thing...that said, I know plenty of couples that lift together and they love it.

kandeye

My bf and I lift together 3x a week. We have a home gym. We are doing strong lifts together. He has lifted before so it's nice to have him check my former and give me tips here and there. We do have similar goals so it works and honestly I look forward to our weight lifting time

DopeItUp

My wife won't even work out with me in the same room.

Take that as you may.

LKArgh

It depends on goals and relationship. I used to have a boyfriend a long time ago with whom we worked out together. He was a bodybuilder and introduced me to free weights, I convinced him that there are cardio classes a man can enjoy and benefit from. But we both had similar goals, and both loved exercise.

lisalsd1

My husband and I run into issues...b/c I'm 5'3, and he is 6'3. Trying to squat at the same time would be a disaster. We're on the same program...if our bench days end up falling on the same day, we'll share a bench...we have to change plates for each other, but I can lift the 45s.

70chevellegsp

My wife and I have been working out together for over 20 years, with the last 2 being the most intense. We have a home gym and it fits our lifestyle and we motivate each other. Changing plates can be a pia, but even when I lifted with a buddy all thru college, we were still changing plates on most sets. She can handle all the plates which actually makes it go pretty quick in comparison to doing it by myself. I have a grease board and we list our exercises and weights to stay efficient on plate changes. We do weights 3x a week - full body, heavy, compound movements; HIIT/circuit workouts (planks, kettlebell swings, mt climbers etc) 2x a week, and normally do 2-3 mile walk after. Weekends are for mountain biking and hiking which we also do together.

so - Yes!