Clueless spouse about former weight obsession

retailwizard1

Talk to him.. let him know how much it bothers you.. tell him how it makes you feel bad about yourself when he says things like that... 7 pounds is not a crazy amount of weight... if he can't understand your point and stop then there might be something else bothering him and that's his way to purposely bother you

tulips_and_tea

lynvin79 wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

lynvin79 wrote: »

MissJay75 wrote: »

tomatoey wrote: »

Tell him straight up to back off. It's your body, he doesn't get a say.

I don't think this approach is great in a marriage. I think you should find a time away from the kiddos and really talk to him about this. Explain to him about your past, about your insecurities, and that you know he means well, but his comments about your weight hurt your feelings and tempt you toward unhealthy thought patterns.

If he doesn't listen and support you, you have much bigger problems than the 7 pounds you gained.

Thanking you, Ms Jay...I just found pictures in his phone that he took of me at the grocery store - from behind! The pictures showed my pants being too tight unbelievable.

Before I respond, can you please clarify: did he takes these pictures intentionally to show you your pants were too tight? Or did he take them because he liked the view and you are upset by them?

Also, do you mean he knows about your past with eating disorders but doesn't understand them or view them as serious?

He took them intentionally to show me how tight they were.

Oh, hell no. I get that the Marine background and training come into play here, but NO ONE should be excused from belittling someone, particularly spouses! I hope you can communicate with him effectively and I also really hope he's not like this to you in all aspects of your life. This issue can be addressed and dealt with, but if he's like this to you about everything then I'd have to question whether this is mentally healthy for you or not.